Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and situations are the property of Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: Quil ponders the awesomeness of being a shape shifter during patrol and gets caught up in the glory of a good belly rub.

A/N: Thanks to my husband for pinch-hitting as beta for these. All mistakes are mine and mine alone.

The Twilight Twenty-Five

Prompt: 14. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link.
Pen Name: kerigocrazy
Pairing/Character(s): Quil
Rating: M

Rated for language.

"Puppy Dog Tails and Vampire Trails"

It was a good day to be on patrol. Emily had fed him a huge breakfast this morning, including his favorites (french toast and sausage), and there hadn't been a single muffin in sight. His grandfather was already gone when he woke up, so he wasn't forced to deal with yet another "You must grow up and take responsibility" speech, and his mom wasn't due home from her latest business trip for another week. That meant cake for dinner and action movie marathons all weekend. Oh yes, life for Quil Ateara was good.

After a run around the perimeter, he settled down on the border along the south side to sun himself. Everything was perfectly idyllic until he got an itch smack dab in the middle of his back. Lifting his back leg, he made a valiant attempt to scratch it.

C'mon, c'mon, just a little bit further.

It was to no avail. Finally, he whipped his massive, furred head around and went at it with his teeth.

Ah, yeah. That's it. So freakin' good.

Since becoming a werewolf, he'd been forced to listen to the pack's incessant bitching about everything they lost. Everybody but him seemed to think it sucked to be an awesome mythological creature.

Quil didn't get it.

First of all, they ran a nice, toasty 108 degrees, so he never had to worry about being cold or buying a new winter coat again. And the ladies? Yeah, they totally dug a human space heater.

Let's not forget the insane metabolism either. When he'd first started working out, at the tender age of 11, he'd eaten nothing but leafy green shit and protein shakes for months. At one point, he almost tackled Embry for a bite of his Big Mac. Embarrassing.

But now? He ate all day, every day. There were visions of fried Twinkies and chocolate syrup straight from the bottle dancing through his head. No love handles here, thankyouverymuch.

Yeah, he was a prime physical specimen. Abs of steel baby. Not to mention the fact that he'd totally just scratched an itch in the middle of his back—with his face. Can regular people do that? No. They have to shimmy against walls or ask people to get it for them. To the left. A little further.

Not this guy here, he was all sorts of flexible. Quil was momentary distracted by an in depth comparison of shifters and Gumby. He was pretty sure shifters won.

Anyway, it's important to take these new bodies into consideration, when discussing the benefits of becoming a man-beast (in Leah's case a lady-beast). His new gargantuan height had multiple benefits. Nobody ever talked smack to the 6' 5" dude with no neck, even if he was mackin' on their girl. Guys just kinda bowed out with clenched jaws and trembling hands. Seriously, you gonna challenge John Cena for the rights to your girl? Yeah, nobody wanted to test their friendly neighborhood protectors on that score either.

And the ladies loved it. Their big, strong bodies had them reminiscing about the heroes on those romance novels they pretended not to read. Quil wasn't above a little role play either. He'll shiver your timbers anytime.

Even his mom loved how tall he was. He'd, unfortunately, become dish bitch in his house, but being the only one capable of reaching the tall shelves was a small price to pay for home cooking three times a day.

He could totally get behind the beauty of being two parts man's best friend too. When he was a kid, he'd been fascinated by the family dog. The thing had it made. Red (the dog) spent his days napping in leisure, eating anything and everything he could get his hands on, playing and forcing everyone else to entertain him, chasing cars, and marking his territory. What's bad about that?

Quil had quickly discovered how incredible it was to run at superhuman speeds through the forests surrounding La Push. His fur blowing in the breeze, his best friends sharing in his happy times. Once, after a particularly vigorous run, he'd been starving and his mom and Emily were both unavailable. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so he'd sucked it up and eaten a two-week old pizza straight out of Paul's fridge. When he was finished, he curled up in wolf form and waited for the stomach cramps.

They never came.

His stomach was now steel-lined. Fuckin' A.

Even better was the fact that the imprints got all mushy when the boys showed up in all wolfed out. It didn't matter how pissed they were, if you showed up furry, they were all about the tummy rubs. Man, there's nothing like a good scratchin'; he didn't even care about the weird baby talk they cooed at him when they did it. Kim, especially, had a way with those tiny hands. He was pretty sure Jared was gonna kill him the next time he got caught in a good cuddle session with her though. It might be worth it.

Throughout his musings, he'd felt the rest of the pack phase in, one by one, but he had blocked them out. This was important shit.

So it took him completely by surprise when a large form barreled into him from the left.

What the fuck, man?

Sam growled low and smacked him upside the head with a paw the size of a large dinner plate. That's my question dipshit. You were supposed to be patrolling.

I was! Nothing came through here.

Really? Nothing at all?

Quil was getting a bad feeling about this line of questioning. He couldn't have missed a vampire, could he?

Apparently you could. I have no idea how a corpse reeking of sugared bleach managed to waltz passed your eagle eye, but it got within twenty feet of the Chief's house before Collin and Brady took it out.

Uh-oh. The pack's youngest were not supposed to engage.

Yeah, uh-oh. You have anything to say for yourself?

Um...maybe it's not all it's cracked up to be.

What?

Quil heaved a sigh and took off to do another perimeter run before Sam could think to chastise him physically anymore. Being a shape shifter.