As soon as my feet hit the floor the room started spinning. I walked as far as I could to the nurses station, I don't remember hitting the floor, but I do remember seeing Jac's shoes coming towards me. She had little things from 'Frozen' on her crocs that I had given her for Christmas, so I knew it was her. There was a lot of shouting, if they didn't quieten down, they'd wake up the whole ward. This is why side rooms where invented. But I couldn't make out what anyone was actually saying though, I just wanted to sleep, right there, on the floor.
I remember Jac's voice, and then having her hair dangling in my face. She unzipped my onezie, and that's the only time I've ever heard her swear. Swearing isn't something that happens in our house, unless Daddy is really mad. Its usually only Zosia that can make him that mad. I remember being tucked in her shoulder, and breathing in her scent. It relaxed me slightly, although I was almost completely unaware of what was going on. She must have picked me up and carried me like a baby to the operating theater, because there wasn't time for a trolley, and I know she wouldn't have trusted anyone else to.
The last thing I remember is grabbing Jac's hand as she turned away from me to go and scrub in. She turned back to me and kissed the centre of my forehead. She knew not to let me get stressed, otherwise I'd never take the oxygen mask. I can be a nightmare at the best of times when it comes t anesthetic.
"Don't leave.." I whispered. I'd picked up on her urgency by now, but I was still out of it. I don't think either of us though that it was an appropriate time to tell me that if she didn't open me up within the next 2 minutes and stop the bleed, I could possibly end up having a stroke and long lasting brain damage and mobility issues because not enough blood was getting to my brain. I'm glad she didn't drop that bomb shell on me. She has to have credit for staying chilled out in a crisis though.
"Don't worry princess, Jac will sort you out. I'll be here the whole time. You just let the nice man put you to sleep." She whispered to me as the oxygen mask was placed on my face. She knew I was bad with being put to sleep, as she had done most of my recent operations. She stood there and stroked the back of my hand gently with her fingers until I fell asleep.
When I woke up, Jac was stood at the end of my bed with the folder with my notes in. I'd been aloud to decorate it as a child and it still had lots of foam flower stickers stuck all over it. Embarrassing. I was 7.
"Hello you." Jac smiled coming and standing next to me. She put the raling on the side of my bed down, and sat on the edge of my bed. She took my hand and played with my fingers for a bit until she got a response out of me.
"mmm." I moaned. It was the best she was going to get.
I sat up very slowly, with Jac's help. My chest ached. It felt like someone had dropped a 10 stone weight on my chest. It was a lot worse than it was the first time I woke up.
"You EVER scare me like that again, and I swear you won't make it off the other side of the operating table!" She said sternly, but smiled. I was still in the dark to what had happened.
"mmm." I moaned, not really taking her seriously. Her face didn't soften any more.
"Do you want to know?" She asked.
I nodded.
"You are aware you've now had a second operation?" Jac asked.
"14th actually, if were getting specific." I muttered. Jac sighed, she knew I couldn't help but count them, she had performed 8 of them.
I gestured for her to explain this morning's events. I had absolutely no idea.
"You seriously don't remember anything?" Jac asked, looking slightly concerned.
I shook my head and regretted it immediately. It made me feel slightly sick.
"It doesn't suprise me in all honesty. You where pretty out of it this morning." Jac said to me. She shuffled up the bed closer to me so I could lean on her. She put my notes down and put her arms around me. I placed my head in the crease of her neck and relaxed.
"You have an infection deep in the wound where I operated, because you're so little and always ill, you know you don't have much of an immune system, so things are always worse for you. Some of the tissue around your heart was really badly infected, but I removed as little as I could get away with. he I also gave the wound a give flushing, so its now clean and you are on the strongest antibiotics we can give you. You are going to be fine, providing we keep a close eye on you, so I don't want you going wandering off too far okay?" Jac told me. I followed half of it, enough to know that I had been extremely lucky.
"Thank you." I whispered. I do owe my life to this woman, whether my sister likes it or not.
"It's going take a little longer for your wound to heal now, but theres no reason you can't be up and about later, as long as you take it easy, okay?" Jac told me, I don't take thngs easy, and she knows that. I don't know how to 'slow down'.
"Yeah.." I muttered. I'm sure I will be fine once I have slept.
"Okay?" Jac repeated. She could tell what I was thinking.
"Yes, okay!" I muttered. I had a thumping headache, and I hate being ill and stuck in one place all day, I had a habit of driving everyone around me insane.
"I'm going to let you sleep now, you're going to need it." Jac whispered to me and kissing me goodnight on the forehead. I spoke just as she got to the door.
"I don't want to be seen in this state okay? If anyone comes by I'm on the loo." I whispered. This was embarrassing enough as it is. I don't like being in a vulnerable position.
"Zosia? Your father?" She questioned, she knew what I was like with my sister. We had phases where we couldn't look at each other without having a shouting match, and days where I wouldn't leave her side. But she was always there for me when I needed her to be, even if we'd just had a fight, my sister was always there for me when I really needed her. I tried to be there for her, but because of the age difference, it wasn't very often she properly opened up to me.
"Apart from them." I replied. I was too tired to think straight.
"You get some sleep now." Jac smiled.
"Night.." I yawned.
"Sleep tight princess." Jac said closing the door. I rolled onto my side and watched her walk up the corridor, I wish I hadn't.
Outside my room, Daddy apeard. He wrapped his arms around Jac's waist.
EW. EW. EW.
I could see everything through the glass windows.
They kissed. I'm WAY sick to be seeing this.
YACK!
I picked up the closest thing to me, it happened to be an empty plastic disposable cup. I threw it at the window where they we're, they took the hint, because after waving too me, Daddy linked arms with Jac and walked up the corridor.
Peace and quiet at last. I fell asleep imediatly after.
