Five days had gone by in a blur and Erin sat there again, her hand folded around Jays. She listened to the sound of the ventilator, keeping him alive and she closed her eyes, thinking about what the doctor had said. He should have been awake by now, they had gotten him off the medication. But he was still in a coma. They were afraid his brainstem was damaged by the bullet, that would also be the reason he didn't seem to breathe on his own, but when they had done an MRI again, there was no damage to be seen.

Each day she had gone to the district, to give the others an update on Jay and almost every day somebody of the unit also had been here in the evening, but there was nothing news she could tell. His condition remained unchanged.

The second day of his coma, a petite woman with brown hair, blue eyes and freckles had suddenly stormed into his room, thrown her arms in the air and yelled his name. His mother. She had barely given Lindsay a look when she had grabbed Jay's other hand and had kissed him everywhere on his face where it was possible. Was this the woman he only saw once a year because he simply couldn't stand her?

''Ooooh Jay my boy.'' She had cried and then she finally looked at Erin.

''Who are you?'' She said then, sniffing.

''I am Erin Linday...his partner... and girlfriend.'' She said as she reached her hand out to give his mom a hand but his mom shook her head and carried on crying.

''Is he going to wake up?'' She asked, neglecting the fact Erin tried to introduce herself.

''They don't know yet...they are going to take him off the medication that keeps him in this coma in four days and then he should wake up. But they aren't sure. Where is his father.''

''Gone, for the past eighteen years already. Guy lives in Hampshire, won't come to visit his son.'' She said bitter and Linday had left the room, giving her some time alone with her son.

And now, five days later, nothing was sure. Jay was not waking up. Erin tried to keep herself from crying as she hoped he would open his eyes, or just show any sign of life. A doctor entered again, checked his vitals and left the room. It happened so many times a day Erin didn't even notice anymore. This morning they had also removed the large bandage around his head and changed it for a plaster and as the swelling in his face was gone, he seemed a lot better now, which made it even more frustrating he wasn't waking up.

She looked up she heard his moms voice on the hall and she was talking to a doctor. She didn't like eavesdropping - but it wasn't technically eavesdropping if she heard it without putting effort in listening - and she could hear a few words of what her mother was talking about.

''Not...up...switch off...support.''

She wanted to jump up, yell at his mother what she just heard or thought what she just heard. Instead she kept sitting with Jay, calmly.

''Ellen, can I talk to you for a minute?'' His mother asked then and she stood up, walked after the mother to the cafeteria.

''It's Erin.'' She said then, annoyed by his mother and the lack of interest she showed in her son's girlfriend. This did not just affect her, that her son was severely injured but it affected Erin as well.

''Sorry, Erin.'' His mother said as they bought something to drink, an awkward silence when they sat down at the table. His mother did not look at her and Erin drank her coffee in silence. She hadn't been talking a lot with his mother at all. Her mother just asked how he had been shot and she had told her, but other than that she hadn't asked a lot. She hadn't even been around when Erin was here. She had been reading to him and talking to him and Lindsay had stayed out of the room, giving her and her son some privacy. But it was just ao awkward, she had never met the mother before.

''is it Erin Lindsay, or Lindsay Erin, by the way?'' His mother asked then.

''Erin Lindsay.'' Erin sighed and she looked up at the mother. She didn't want to turn around what she just heard.

''I heard what you say to the doctor. I don't want to you to say that.'' She said then to his mother.

''I didn't say I wanted it…I just asked if it was a possibility. Maybe it's better to switch life support off if he doesn't wake up. I know Jay never wanted to life like a vegetable.''

''Jay told me we should never give up on him. Life support is not going to be switched off.'' She said firmly.

After an awkward silence they walked back to the room and sat down by his bedside.

''Erin...look at him. He can't breathe. He is getting feed through a tube. This is not the life he ever wanted.''

''I am not going to give up on him!'' Erin said mad as she looked at his mother. It was hard and she wanted him to wake up but she couldn't think about the fact that his mother wanted to switch him off life support. She understood she didn't want to see her son like this and maybe she did it out of life. But she couldn't lose him. She couldn't give up. She still believed he was going to wake up and he was going to recover!

''If you really knew Jay well enough if you were his partner and boyfriend, you know he would never want life like this.''

Mad Erin stood up and walked out of the room. She sat down in the chair close to his room and waited, tried not to cry. She wanted to support her mother and she wished that she would get support from her mother. That they would stick together through this rough time but her mother was so mean to her. His mother left and said also goodnight to her, short. Erin walked back into the room and sat down next to the bed.

''I hope you can hear me, you should by now.'' She said as she took his hand. ''I miss you Jay, i need you. Please, wake up Jay.''

She started to cry and laid her head against his chest. His chest was still moving and up and down and she closed her eyes, crying as she knew it was not himself who was breathing...no she couldn't lose him!

''Your mother wants so switch off life support because you are not here...but I won't give up. You can hear me...I believe that.'' She said softly as she sat up again, rubbing over his hand and looked as he seemed asleep but she knew he could not hear her. There were so many things she wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him sorry, she wasn't fast enough to grab the person who shot him in his head. That she loved him so much. That she could never live without him.

She wished he would move the tiniest bit, that he would breath on his own and even better,that he would open his eyes and demand a pizza because he was starved after the tube feeding. But he wasn't there.

She checked her watch and saw it was getting pretty late but she didn't want to leave. Especially not now his mom was planning on switching off life support. Then she would lose him soon. No, she had to fight for him even if he couldn't fight for himself!

She laid her head aginst his chest again and closed her eyes and slowly she fell asleep. She could hear him breathing and like this, he was still with her.

She got awoken by one of the nurses.

''You have to be careful...he has a tube in his stomach, you could hurt it if you sleep like this...also it's not our policy.'' The nurse explained and she left the room so she could check on him. Wow, had she really slept here all night? She didn't feel guilty, she had felt so close to him.

''Hey.'' Voight walked down the hall. She hadn't been talking with him since he had lied to her, but right now she needed him as he was the closest to being her father. She tried not to cry as she walked towards him.

''What is wrong?'' He asked worried, laying his hand on her shoulder. Although she was still mad he lied to her, she broke down and he pulled her against him, comforting her like he had done many, many times before as he had tried to get her a better life.

''His mother wants to switch off life support because he is not waking up and she said...she said he never wanted to life like this...I don't want him to die.'' She sobbed.

''She can't do that!'' He said mad and he looked into the room, but only a nurse was in there, moving Jay to prevent bedsores.

''He should be awake by now.'' Lindsay said as she pulled away from his embrace and wiped the tears away.

''He needs some time, he has been shot in the head! Does is mother not understand that.''

''She...she said today...I don't think there is anything we can...she is his mother and his medical proxy.''

Voight walked away and Lindsay walked back into the room and sat down by Jay again.

''You know...I am not giving up on you. Your mother loves you and I know she does it out of care for you...but I know you just need some time.'' She said softly as she caressed his hand again.

She sat there in silence again untill the door burst open and his mom entered the room, followed by Voight.

''I ám his medical proxy! The decision is mine and I don't want him to be kept alive while he isn't!''

''He is not brain dead!'' Voight argument back and the mother turned his way. ''He is my son and I decide this, not the detective who failed to protect him in the first place!''

Voight walked out of the room with Erin.

''I tried to talk her out of it...and I talked to his doctor.''

''The doctor told you not to give up, right?'' She said hopeful. They would never switch off his life support if there was still hope.

''They don't know it anymore, Erin. They don't think he will wake up, they are afraid his brainstem is damaged.''

''Why don't they MRI him again?''

''They can't find the damage...but he is not breathing on his own, Erin. I am sorry.''

Slowly they walked back into the room.

''You can't do this!'' She cried as the doctors got ready to remove him off the ventilator but his mother looked at her.

''Sorry, I can, I am his mother.''

Slowly the doctors started to remove the ventilator and Voight pulled her against his shoulder as she started to sob. Then, when they had expected the heart rate would drop soon as he wasn't breathing, they heard a soft breath. Rattling, almost as a last breath.

But then it continued. Jay kept breathing, rasping and weak.

The doctors started running again, put him on supporting oxygen and Lindsay started to cry again, but not out of sadness this time. Out of happiness. She was not going to lose him. His brainstem was not damaged. He was breathing. He was alive.


NOTE: Never give up on him...

I hope you liked this chapter although the topic was kinda hard. I hope it was realistic...we will get to know more about his mother and his relationship next chapter and will she ever make up with Erin after this...and will Jay ever wake up?

Thank you for reading and please do leave a review with what you thought about this chapter and what you are expecting for the next chapters...response gets me enthusiastic and lets me write more and faster ;)