Chapter 1: At first sight

Because of his special circumstances Kurt was allowed to stay at the dorms during the summer after his first year at Juilliard – the school was open for several summer courses, anyway. Freshmen Year had gone relatively well for him. Of course New York was quite the difference to sleepy small-town Lima (Ohio), but Kurt found himself instantly in love with the city since his first night there.

As expected the other students weren't happy about someone without proper training and without any experience getting the scholarship everybody sought-after and according they weren't very welcome to Kurt at first – mostly a mix of barely hidden jealousy and out-right skepticism towards his abilities. No need to say that every student was very excited to see Kurt perform for the first time in front of the whole department at the annual "Freshmen reaping" (a showcase to feature all new students) in September- they finally wanted to know what all the fuss was about and whether he could really live up to all the praise he had received from the teachers since his audition.

As the main attraction of the whole event Kurt's performance was the last – which he didn't really care about, too grateful to even be here, still. After his introduction there was a round of applause (mainly from the people who had already seen him perform) but he couldn't really concentrate on appreciating the encouragement, too concerned about all the people sitting in the room who would be watching him in just a few seconds. There were just so many of them...

Before he could start to panic, however, Kurt closed his eyes remembering some advice his mother had once given him when he had asked about her days as a professional performer:

Just focus on the music and let the audience fall away until it doesn't matter if there are a thousand people watching you (like Kurt right now) or only one person is.

And he listened for those first marvelous sounds of music. When he hears the notes the rest of the world starts to fade away as he starts to dance...


After that first performance Kurt quickly became a legend in the whole performing arts world and everybody suddenly wanted to be in his good graces. At first Kurt was beyond than happy about this new development: he finally had friends, people who not only had the same interests as him but also the same dreams and were equally as ambitious as him – people who were just like him.

Also he got to do something he had thought he never would: he dated.

It started with one of his semi-friends asking him out for coffee and talking with him for hours about his great fashion sense and so on (with Kurt carefully avoiding any talk about his family – he really didn't need to kill the mood by going there on their first time out). Later found them half-naked and making out in one of their dorm rooms' right up until curfew.

For the following few months Kurt felt like was flowing on cloud eleven – that's how happy he was: He had several good friends who always liked to go out with him or see him perform as well as an amazing, attentive boyfriend who respected his boundaries (even though he had admittedly gone all the way already) and he always managed to get good grades and stayed at the top of class (although it took some effort, but he was never lazy and appreciated the challenge).

Having somebody there to instruct him turned out to be really great (and time sparing for that matter), especially during his single classes, which came along with his scholarship where he was easily able to follow the corrections of the teacher – some of which he probably never would've realized were even there, had he been by himself. He loved One-on-One sessions the most because he could focus entirely on his own dancing – without having the distraction of 19 other people dancing right next to him or (more often than not) seeming to be watching his every movement (when they should better watch their own if the horrible pose he saw from some of them was any indication).

Of course Kurt wasn't perfect either: he did lack some technique (although nothing major that the school couldn't help him correct with some time and training) – he simply needed some coaching.

Anyway, the fascinating thing for everybody to see was the power he held, the way he was giving his whole soul to his dancing, throwing himself into it... that wasn't something you could learn it was primal, intuitive – a gift, simple.


For the first time in what now seemed to be rather years then months Kurt was truly happy about the way his life was progressing... – he should have known from experience that it wouldn't last long.

By the time holidays – the first ones he would spend by himself – came around he was feeling all alone all over again. None of his friends (nor his boyfriend) were able to spend time with him – everyone was away visiting their relatives during the short winter break they had from school. It was hard for him to say the least: He didn't have the energy to set any decorations up or cook some fancy dinner like it had been family tradition for what seemed like ever, so he simply stayed in bed and tried to will the days to pass quicker, only getting out to make his way to the dance studio for his daily training routines. He couldn't await for his mates to finally get back.

However when they did it wasn't like anything he had expected or anticipated: The short break he got away from them seemed to have opened his eyes and slowly but surely he began to notice all the little things – like the fact that they always seemed to be taking pictures of or with Kurt, which always ended up online with a big caption like "My good friend – Kurt Hummel", or when one of them would practically beg him to repeat a dance routine for the hundredth time just so they could see it again and more often than not secretly record it without consulting him about it...

It all began to unnerve Kurt but he kept quiet and just let them go on with it thinking that's just what friends do (he really didn't know better, after all he had never had any friends before).

What made him snap was his so-called boyfriend Eric blatantly telling him one day that he would "make it worth his time" if Kurt would just lay in a good word with the faculty for him. That's what finally opened Kurt's eyes: He told him in not-so-kind words to get all the stuff he brought with him and GET THE FUCK OUT OF HIS ROOM – IMMEADIATELY! Judging by the shocked look on his (now ex-) partner's face, that definitely wasn't the reaction he was expecting from Kurt but at least he didn't seem to be stupid enough to take the warning lightly but got up from the bed – where they had previously been tangled up in one another – and in less than two minutes grabbed his shirt from the floor (where it had been discarded earlier that night) as well as all his other stuff and quickly fled the scene.

Only when he had left did Kurt let the tears – which had been threatening to fall – finally leave his eyes and stain the soft surface of the pillows resting underneath his head. Curling himself up into a ball Kurt cried for hours without end until he finally managed to slip into a fitful sleep, his dreams plagued with thoughts of self-loath:

How could he have been so stupid and think anybody would ever want to be with him? He should've known better. He just wasn't a person people wanted to spend their time with (if it wasn't absolutely necessary). That's why he never had friends before. And it's also why he will never have true friends. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt though. He had believed it – the illusion they gave him, had willed himself to believe it wanting to give himself to it completely. He wanted his first time to be with Eric. If only for a chance not to feel so lonely anymore, that even in a crowded room he felt alone. People will always just want to use him or bring him down somehow. As long as he would keep letting people into his heart they would keep breaking it, and he didn't know how often he would be able to pick the pieces up again...

After that fateful night Kurt realized that his supposed friends were just using him for their own purposes – so he just cut of all contact with them and vowed to focus solemnly on his school work, because even if he already exceeded the expectations of every teacher and student at Juilliard he would be damned if he let not only them but also himself down, now. When school stated up again in January there was a new Kurt: He was still friendly and polite to everybody he encountered – maybe with the exception of his ex – but he didn't engage much with the other students anymore and just kept to himself more and more...

Of course, everybody noticed the sudden change in demeanor but nobody said anything – well at least not in front of him – it just began to add to the legend that already was Kurt Hummel.


About 3 weeks into the second semester Kurt got called into the dean's office and was introduced to Claude one of the world's most famous ballet luminaries, a former dancer – who had starred in at least 40 different productions in all the big cities – and now educator looking for an exceptionally talented student to study under him, to become his protégé and receive his unique coaching – including single lessons and many other vantages. And after having heard about Kurt's abilities he thought he might've found what he was looking for in him, so he invited Kurt to dance for him.

Needless to say that Kurt was thrilled to be given this opportunity, which others could only dream of – even if Claude wouldn't choose him as his student he would at least be given some much valued feedback which he would use to improve his skills.

He put much thought into what his show piece should be, but in the end decided again to just use something that reflected his feelings – mostly because it was the only thing he became excited over during the preparation process.

So spring break found Kurt – once again – in the dance studio, where all the new auditions are held, dancing his heart out in front of a stranger. A great part of his future depending on whether or not they would like his untraditional fashion – after all he had never heard of anyone else choosing to create a whole new routine to "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Misérables rather than just using one of the (in his opinion: boring) classics...

As it turned out he wouldn't have needed to worry because Claude wasn't much of a traditionalist ever and very much liked Kurt's performance – going as far as to call it fameux – and made him his new apprentice without thinking about it twice.


With all the new workload the rest of the semester just seemed to fly by Kurt – Claude was a great mentor, but since he wasn't employed at Juilliard his training wasn't counted as school work but as Kurt's free time – not that he was complaining, no Kurt loved to spend every minute of every day with his passion, living his dream. Summer break almost came as a surprise to him. And it left Kurt with an awful lot of free time in his calendar that even his (how Claude always called them) exagérée training sessions wouldn't be able to fill. So considering he was pretty much broke and only living of his small excess of scholarship money (which really didn't last long in view of his expensive taste in fashion and skincare products), he decided getting a summer job was a probably good idea.

Because of his rapidly emerging fame he naturally got a lot of offers to perform in many great ballet productions, however he declined them all: He didn't want to quit school because a part of his dream had always been to not only dance in the great sold-out houses all over the world but also to be able to teach, when his time in the spotlight would be over. He wanted to make others dreams come true and for that he would need a degree and dropping out of school thus wasn't an option. Besides he didn't feel quite ready for the big stage yet, he knew his technique was still far from perfect – natural talent or not.

Luckily for him people had not only noticed his dancing abilities but also his great sense of fashion and (with a little help from a few of his more influential fans) Kurt was actually able to land a summer internship at Vogue of all places. He would mainly be there to answer the phone and get coffee for everybody, but he was also allowed to attend the creative meetings and the pay wasn't bad either – besides it was Vogue.

He couldn't believe how lucky he had gotten: They were flexible with working hours which allowed him to keep up with his daily training routine and they also only needed him to work 5 days of the week so that he still had plenty of free time to just relax and get his mind off of all the things in his not even remotely stress-free life.

Sometimes he just missed his parents really bad, it was then that he didn't even want to get out of bed in the mornings but knew he had to in order to keep himself in form – so he just stood up and got through the day on autopilot – the only thing displaying his foul mood being the slight hunch in his shoulders when he made his way to the dance studio where he was allowed to practice for 6 hours every day during the summer.

All trace of these thoughts left his mind as soon as the first notes of "Wake me up inside"(which he had decided on working on just for the fun of it) filled the room and he lost himself in the – by now oh so familiar – music.


When the song ends Kurt slowly becomes aware of his surroundings again – namely of the big vintage train station clock located on the rear wall just left of the big floor-to-ceiling windows which graced to wall to Kurt's right. And when he did notice it his eyes became almost comically wide as he was taking in the time – it was already half-past four, he had been lost in the music and dancing for five hours straight and he would most definitely be late for work (again).

Sighing he grabbed his back and turned towards the door to leave... that's when he first noticed that he wasn't alone in the room anymore. He startled. Standing there in the doorway of the studio intently starring at Kurt was a short boy with dark brown curly hair and pretty amber eyes, he was wearing jeans and a simple button-up shirt paired with a black cardigan and a matching bowtie – not really a style Kurt would go for but it suit him quite well.

The boy's amber eyes widened as they made contact his Kurt's own glasz ones and for a moment they stayed just like that.

It was Kurt who finally broke the silence – having gotten over the initial shock – as he non-committedly asked:

"Is there a reason why you are staring at me now? I mean, do you maybe need help or do you just like to try and scare people to death for your own amusement? "

The curly-haired boy seemed taken aback by that and his voice was shaking slightly when he answered:

"N-no... I … I am actually on my way to the music department? "

"Is that a question? " That made the strange boy laugh quietly.

"No, I will be studying Music and Composition here in the fall and I just wanted to look around for a bit, while I'm in the city. You know get familiar with the whereabouts of everything..."

"Well you're definitely wrong here – the music wing is on the exact other side of campus. Just head outside and be on the lookout for the purple signs, they will lead your way", Kurt explained to him while he made his way out of the practice room.

"Thank you. My names Blaine by the way. And not that I know a thing about ballet but I think you are really talented", the boy – Blaine – complimented him as he made to follow him down the hall.

"Yes, I have been told before, thank you", Kurt responded but there wasn't any arrogance in his voice, it was simply filled with a lot of pride.

"Do you think I might be able to show my gratitude properly by taking you out for a coffee, now that you finished you training", Blaine asked after only a second of hesitation.

"Sorry I'm already late for work. I'm sure you'll enjoy being a student here, it really is a great school. I have to get going now. Bye, Blaine! "

And with that Kurt turned on his heel and practically bolted away from the building, leaving behind a slightly confused but very much enchanted man standing just outside the dance wing of Juilliard.


They didn't know yet that this small encounter would change both of their lives...


The summer before freshmen year Blaine decided to use the extra-free time and leftover money he had – thanks to his partial scholarship – and (taking his mother's advice) went to travel for a little while. Since he had only ever been to New York once before, with his parents of the age of 10, he thought it would be the perfect opportunity to check out the city he would be spending (at least) the next four years of his life. So after 3 weeks of traveling along the East Coast, with only a backpack containing his clothes and toiletries, Blaine stepped – for the second time in his life – into the city of his dreams.

It was still like he remembered it – he had been sure it would seem smaller now, but no such luck. 19-year-old Blaine Anderson stood in the middle of the crowded Times Square just as overwhelmed by all that is New York City as 10-year-old Blaine had before him. One look up at the tall skyscrapers surrounding him and he knew that would love it here. He had a strange feeling in his gut, almost like he was supposed to be here. Like he belonged. A feeling – he realized – he had been oh-so-desperately longing for.


After spending his first few days in the city – doing all the tacky tourist stuff and seeing a total of three different (on- and off-Broadway) musicals, Blaine had decided on spending the last day of his stay in New York City visiting the campus of his future college. He took off in the direction of Juilliard around noon – knowing that the school was offering summer courses for anybody interested, he knew that he showing up there wouldn't be a problem. After stopping for a light snack in a little coffee-shop near campus – which had quickly become Blaine favorite place in all of New York – he managed to arrive at the school without getting lost in the ever-present crowd of people on the sidewalks of the city.

He decided to first have look at his future housing – having read online that all first time college students were required to live on campus in the Meredith Willson Residence Hall. It was a tall, dull looking white building, which you couldn't get inside of without either knowing someone who lived there or having a keycard to gain access – which Blaine of course didn't (yet), besides it was probably closed over summer anyway – so he didn't spend much time there (just taking a quick look around, trying not to look like some kind of crazy burglar who preyed on mostly empty college dorm rooms).

Moving to find the Music Department, Blaine found himself slightly lost. He had easily found the Residence Hall – considering it was right on the edge of the campus where he arrived and had a big red sign at the front with the name on it, so no problem there. But now, trying to orientate himself without a map at hand, he had not even the slightest idea where to go. Of course there were signposts, but instead of having the name of the location they lead to written on them – they were just painted in different colors (speak of confusing). His best guess would be that each color was probably representing one of the departments or housings – with the red one leading to the freshmen dorms.

So having no way of figuring out which color would lead him to his desired destination, he simply made a beeline to the closest building he saw – figuring he could ask the secretary at the front desk for a campus map or even just some directions. However, upon arriving in the entrance hall he couldn't find anybody anywhere and was becoming increasingly frustrated – that's when he heard it. It was very faint but also most definitely there – music, Evanescence to be precise. He knew that song really well, having listened to it countless times in the months following the attack, he had been easily able to relate to it at the time and it helped him to find new strength to keep going.

He followed the sound up the stairs to the second floor and down a long narrow hallway, until finally stopping in front what seemed to be a small dance studio (ahhh, he must be in the dance department then) – what he found there wasn't what he expected to see at all:

There, in the middle of the medium sized rectangular room was the most mesmerizing man Blaine had ever laid eyes on. His skin was pale, but not sickly – it looked almost like porcelain. The beauty was wearing a pair of black tights as well as a loose fitted brown long-sleeved top, which looked suspiciously like Alexander McQueen to Blaine. And even through his slack clothes you could still tall that even though he was skinny, he was still muscular and could've easily been mistaken for a Calvin Klein fashion model. He was tall (taller than Blaine, though that wasn't really that hard since Blaine was practically hobbit-sized), but not freakishly so and his stance was perfect – like most dancer's – while he was moving through the room.

Speaking of, his movements suddenly caught Blaine's full attention and he was taken aback anew by what he saw. He had been expecting to see the man perform one of the many modern dance styles like Street dance (a course he knew Juilliard offered during the summer) or even just to be doing some kind of freestyle combination for training purposes. But never in a million years had he thought anybody would be able to dance ballet to an upbeat song like this – and with that much grace and beauty at that. It was easily clear that this dancer knew what he was doing and Blaine found himself quickly enraptured by the whole scene in front of him.

This man wasn't just a performer – no, it was as if he was at home in what he was doing, living there. He seemed to have forgotten everything around him and just lost himself in the music and his rhythmic movements – throwing his all into it whether others realized or not. Blaine somehow knew that other people don't see it, but he did – this man was willingly making himself vulnerable (even if only briefly), practically setting himself up for hurt while he was dancing. Because right there and then he wasn't hiding behind anything, laying his soul out bare for anyone who might come along to step on and break it and just hoping exactly that wouldn't happen...

Blaine admired him for that, because he didn't think he would ever be able to do that himself. For him music had always been his safety net – a barrier he could keep between himself and the world he had learned was only out to hurt him, something he could hide behind rather than use to express himself and connect with others, like this dancer was able to.

It made him sad to see this strange man and his art because it pointed out all Blaine's flaws to him once again. And he really didn't need any reminding that he wasn't perfect, that he just isn't good enough, that is and always will be just a great, great disappointment – his dad had told him as much after all. But he still couldn't keep his eyes away from the beauty of it, couldn't just turn around and walk away – it was as with someone had cast a spell upon and now his limbs wouldn't submit to him anymore. Still it didn't bother him he could've easily stood there and watched this beautiful dancer for the rest of his (anyhow miserable) life. So that's what he intended to do: He wasn't sure how long he stood there and watched the man in the small room move upon – it could've been hours or just mere minutes, he truly couldn't bring himself to care, anymore.

But all too soon it was all over, the music stopped and after a minute it seemed as if the dancer finally took in his surroundings again and realized where he was. Now that the dancing had stopped Blaine took in the whole appearance of the dancer – for the first time without any distractions: Like most dancers' his body was thin and lithe but it also featured several clearly pronounces muscles. He was wearing a tight pair of black yoga pants paired with a dark olive-green wide neck sweater and (of course) a pair of black ballet shoes. He still hadn't noticed Blaine standing in the while he hurriedly grabbed his iPod from the dock as well as his (designer) gym bag and turned to go...

Suddenly Blaine found himself face-to-face with the most mesmerizing glasz eyes he had ever seen – then again he wasn't even sure if he had ever seen glasz eyes before then - and he wondered whether they would really change their color depending on what mood the man was in. Once again he was totally captivated by the man in front of him, so that he almost didn't notice that he had been asked a question and he had to concentrate to remember what it had been:

"Is there a reason why you are staring at me now? "

Oh god he probably thought Blaine was a weird stalker something! He thought for a moment, searching for an answer that wouldn't make him look like some creep – when he came up blank, he decided just to go with the truth:

"N-no... I … I am actually on my way to the music department? " Blaine silently cursed himself – it was supposed to sound confident, but it came out more like he was unsure.

"Is that a question? "

Obviously the beautiful man in front of him had noticed his insecurity as well and was now apparently mocking him – slightly panicking Blaine tried to cover his anxiety by laughing quietly over the joke.

However after noticing the look the dancer was now shooting his way he hurriedly explained:

"No, I will be studying Music and Composition here in the fall and I just wanted to look around for a bit, while I'm in the city. You know get familiar with the whereabouts of everything..."

Seemingly accepting his statement Blaine was hastily given the right directions:

"Follow the purple signs! "

Well, at least now he knew that he was at the wrong site of campus and how to get to his original destination, but he couldn't just let this lovely male get away like that – he had to at least show his gratefulness in some way and maybe getting him to go out with him... But first things first: An Introduction was required!

"Thank you. My names Blaine by the way. And not that I know a thing about ballet but I think you are really talented", Blaine told him with a supposedly flirty smile.

However the man just seemed to want to get away from him as fast as he could, simply replying:

"Yes, I have been told before, thank you. " There was obvious pride in his voice, but Blaine couldn't really concentrate on it because he was too busy following him practically bolt out of the room.

He hesitated a second thinking maybe this was a bad idea, before reconsidering and just going for it – now or never, he thought:

"Do you think I might be able to show my gratitude properly by taking you out for a coffee, now that you finished you training", he finally asked in a maybe too hopeful sounding voice.

He hadn't expected the response he got at all:

"Sorry I'm already late for work. I'm sure you'll enjoy being a student here, it really is a great school. I have to get going now. Bye, Blaine! ", the beauty told him before he turned on his heel very nearly ran out of the building.

The dancer had been polite and helped Blaine, but he had seemed somehow reserved while talking to him, almost calculating... He abandoned him without ever telling Blaine anything about himself, not even his name – but he still left behind a slightly smitten Blaine in a hallway of Juilliard.

And he would be not able to get the beautiful male with the angelic voice and enchanting dance out of his mind until they should inevitably meet again.