Chapter 3: Sorry Is Not Gonna Make That Golden Brown

In which new love blooms in the heart of a young boy...

Later that day, Edward made his way towards Biology, his least favorite class. The teacher, Mr. Noblet, was a horrible megalomaniac whose only pleasure in life seemed to be the abuse of his students. Most people thought he was a bit sadistic, but of course, Edward knew that that wasn't really the case. He knew what Mr. Noblet was hiding. No one could keep a secret from Edward Cullen, not for long anyway. Edward had special vampire powers, and he could read minds. While Edward didn't enjoy the class, it wasn't as bad for him as it was the other students. The teacher rarely called on him, and there was an odd number of students in the class, which meant Edward worked on his labs alone. People seemed to avoid him instinctively, and that was fine. It was for the best really. Besides, he had passed Biology at a dozen other schools before. He could do these labs in his sleep.

Edward walked into the class and noticed that Mr. Noblet had once again pulled out his deep fryer and was busily whipping up some fresh tempura. Good. Noblet was preoccupied with fried food. It would be a nice slow day. Edward made his way to his seat and began to absent mindedly doodle in his notebook. Suddenly he smelled the heady scent of blood mixing with the odor of cooking oil. This was not just any blood. This was perfect, and it was getting stronger. A mopey thin brunette girl walked into the classroom clutching a copy of Wuthering Heights. She tripped in an endearingly clumsy way that proved she was a flawed character and handed Mr. Noblet a note.

The room fell silent as he read the paper. "Damn it!" Noblet yelled.

He paused, sighed deeply, and cradled his head in his hands. Everything was still, and the silence dragged. Finally, Mr. Noblet's head shot up. "Alright students." he announced. "This is Bella Swan, she's a new student here at Forks High School. I want you to treat Bella like you would any other student that you know nothing about, and who evidently feels that she can walk into my classroom, in the middle of the semester, and expect me to change my lesson plan…"

"Great now my onion rings are burned!" Mr. Noblet glared at the new student. He hated any kind of disruption to his usual routine.

"I… I'm sorry." Bella stammered.

"Sorry is not gonna make that golden brown ok... I'll never get this one back. You can't unfry things Bella, Now shut up, and sit down. …No, not there. There. That's right."

A stunned Bella stumbled towards the vacant seat beside Edward. 'No.' Edward thought. 'Please, I won't be able to control myself.'

He was seized by a thirst so profound that he had never known the likes of it before. He clutched the side of the desk so tightly that his knuckles turned white, and he desperately hoped that Bella Swan would just go away. He was terrified that he wouldn't be able to control himself. He would tear open this girl's throat right here and now and …oh God, he couldn't think about it. He shut his eyes tight, willing himself to stop wanting her blood.

Suddenly the air changed.

There was a new slightly sickening smell that made him loose all desire for blood. In fact, he felt that he could go the rest of his life without ever drinking again. He opened his eyes. There in the front of the class was another girl --no woman. Thing. Whatever it was, it was handing Mr. Noblet another note. Noblet tried to pretend that she wasn't there, but finally he took the note and grimaced.

"God! Another one?" He shouted, crumpling the note into a ball and throwing it to the floor. He took a deep breath. "Apparently, we're in the ninth circle of hell, because we have yet another new student." He picked up the crumpled note and read out the name. "Jerri Blank."

"Why don't you tell us about yourself?"

"Well, Ok... Hi." Jerri waved awkwardly at the class. "My name is Jerri Blank, and I'm an alcoholic…"

"Ok you can have a seat, Jerri."

Jerri looked longingly at the deep fryer. "Can I have a shrimp tempura?" She asked hesitantly.

"No."

"Asshole." Jerri muttered, turning to find a seat.

"What did you just call me?"

"What did you hear?"

"I'd rather not repeat it."

"Then I guess we'll never know." Jerri answered, taking slow deliberate strides towards her desk. Noblet was clearly stunned. Had anyone ever spoken to him like this before? Jerri was brash. She was also vulgar, disgusting, stupid, and from what Edward could read of her few thoughts, bigoted in every conceivable way. But her boldness was …sexy. God help him, it was sexy.

Jerri created other distractions during the class. At one point, Jerri passed a note to Rachel, the stunning brunette that Edward had always been too nervous to talk to.

"Busted!" Mr. Noblet screamed. He plucked the note from Rachel's hand and read aloud. "My vagina is on fire. I'm trying not to scratch it, Rachel, I'm afraid it will get infected. P.S. I just know I'm going to win homecoming queen this year. That will show those sons of bitches, especially Noblet. Sincerely, Jerri Blank"

"That's two months of detention, Jerri."

"But" Jerri stammered. "My vagina's all..."

"...puffy."

"SHUT YOUR DIRTY LITTLE MOUTH!" Noblet yelled. He drew himself in closer to Jerri, so that she could undoubtedly feel his breath. "I am on to you." he said, his tone low and threatening. "And if you give me any excuse I will bring the hammer down. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Jerri said sheepishly.

Mr. Noblet clearly had enough. It was always a bad idea to test him on the days that he brought out the deep fryer, though of course, Jerri had no way of knowing that. Edward could sense that Jerri would always have a troubled relationship with the Biology teacher.

As the class settled down, Edward and Bella began working on their labs. She tried talking to him, but now that Edward was no longer overwhelmed by her delicious scent, he saw Bella for what she was. She was clearly the kind of girl that could not stop whining about being misunderstood. She was also the disloyal type who would abandon her friends, and even her family, for the sake of some abusive asshole she had known for a few weeks. She probably had no ambitions of her own and would throw away all her independence, giving up on the idea of going to college, having a career, or doing anything on her own, just so that she could sit around and moon over the aforementioned asshole. It's ironic, considering that people who don't have lives of their own can't possibly be interesting enough to hold anyone's attention for more than five minutes. She seemed like the type who pinned all of her self worth on the thoughts and feelings of some random guy, and she would probably get all suicidal and weird if anyone ever decided to break up with her. She was likely to lead boys on just so that she could feel better about herself. Besides, Bella thought that reading a few books --books that can be found on any high school syllabus-- somehow passed for depth and intelligence, as if no one with a vagina had ever read a book before. The truth was that Bella Swan was a boring mopey husk of a character. He gave her the cold shoulder. Besides, It was hard to concentrate with Jerri Blank sitting only a few feet away.

Edward couldn't take his eyes off her. The way her clothes hugged the womanly curves of her body, the elegant shape of her mouth. Her teeth, her overbite. The adorable way that she fluttered her eye lashes and the way that her eyes seemed to cross ever so slightly when she was confused, which was often. He found her scent both revolting and intoxicating, like a corndog. Why was she so strangely alluring? Perhaps it was because he had spent so much time in high school. Was this the reason he had never found someone? He had been searching all this time for a girl when what he had truly wanted, what he needed, was a woman. Well, Jerri Blank was all woman. He had to speak to her.