A World of Their Own

"Oooh, you are still here" he heard Claire say and felt her arm tightened around him.
"You fell asleep on my arm, I couldn't leave" Alex laughed and snuggled his head into her hair. He was only joking, couldn't resist himself from doing it, after all - it was what he did best. No, he would never leave her. He hadn't done much sleeping, he had been too busy looking at her asleep in his arms, feeling his heart beat faster every time he thought of their kisses, their touches and the night they spend together. She had him spinning around, drawing him in and he couldn't get out nor did he want to get out - he wanted to stay like this forever.
"Oh yeah" Claire laughed at his remark and made herself comfortable on the pillow, allowing Alex to turn her way. He looked all handsome lying there with rough stubbles and messy hair that she had to resist herself from running a hand through. She loved every bit of him, truly loved him and she couldn't help but think of all the times she had wished she could have him, wished for him to feel the same way she did. "Alex, tell me" she said and cleared her throat, she wanted to know when he started to catch feelings for her, if he had had feelings for her as long as she had for him. "When did you first start fancying me?" she asked with a unsecure voice, feeling shy by having conversations like this with Alex. She wasn't used to this, they weren't used to this - it was all new and it scared her as well but it felt better than anything at the same time.
"Well, I think I've always fancied you" he said and stroke her cheek with a smile. "What about you?"
"As long as I can remember" Claire said with mysterious eyes and gently kissed the palm of his hand that were busy caressing her cheek. His touch kept taking her higher, lifting her from the ground, his touch made her feel like she was flying above everything. "Why didn't you say anything?" he asked with a smile but worries in his eyes. He couldn't help to think about what could have been if they both had been honest about their own feelings from the start. He could have spared Claire for so much pain in her life if he had told her years ago how he felt about her instead of being scared and run away like a dog with its tail between its legs. He started to feel guilty about what Peter had put her through, even though he knew it wasn't his fault but he still thought he had pushed her into his arm in some way or another.
"You didn't either" Claire laughed and pushed to his shoulder but she soon noticed the troubled look on his face. "What's wrong?" she asked with a worried voice. Alex sighed and it made her feel anxious - what was going on behind those blue eyes, did she do something wrong?
"You even fancied me when you were with Peter?" He heard himself say with a low voice. He didn't know why he asked her, it wasn't important for him to know but somehow he needed to be sure she was over him, that he wasn't a consolation prize but as he looked her in the eyes he knew as he had always known. Her eyes reflected all the years they had known each other, all the years they had been there for each other, all the years they had loved each other without saying a word - It was clear to him that Claire put him higher than anything in the whole world, he had just been too blind to see it. She sighed and turned to her back, facing the white ceiling, taking her beautiful eyes off him. "I loved Peter, I really did - but he was never you and I can see that clearly now when I look back. It wasn't only his fault things didn't work out, mainly but deep inside it never actually felt right" she stopped and felt how her eyes were starting to tear up "I used so much energy to push you back in my mind, trying to think about you as Alex Ryan and not .. Alex. But every time you weren't around I missed you, every time you called me I never wanted to hang up, when you left I wanted to tell you to stay, when I .." Claire stopped, feeling tears running down her cheeks and her heart aching. She had been bottling up all these feelings for so long, never got to show them, talk about them or even act on them. "When I kissed him I used to close my eyes and pretend it was you - I know it wasn't fair to do but .. If I couldn't have you, I could at least have you in my own fantasy" she felt his fingers on her cheeks, rushing away the tears she had no control over and they kept coming in a light stream. She was finally able to talk about all of the feelings she had buried deep inside and a brick got lifted from her heart but it also hurt her. It hurt knowing she had caused so much pain to herself just because she couldn't tear down that wall she had placed between herself and Alex.
He gently moved her head and made her focus on him, he had to make sure that she knew that there would be no more pain, no more tears, no more pretend - this was real and this was him. He kissed away a single tear that had found its way to the corner of her mouth and gently stroke her hair. She looked at him with her tearful eyes and a small smile found its way, as she understood what he was trying to say, he didn't needed to say something she knew just by looking at him. He pulled her in and hugged her tight, more than he had the other times but he wanted to make sure she understood he wasn't going anywhere, he was right here by her side, for as long as he lived. He closed his eyes with Claire in his arms, feeling her heartbeat, beat in the rhythm of his heart. "Just give me my new beginning" he said and kissed her hair - that was all he wanted. A new beginning, no Peter, no mixed feelings, no insecurities, just them and their love for each other. She squeezed herself a bit harder into his arms, it was everything she wanted - she wanted to forget about the past and focus on the future, the future with Alex. He made her look at him, lifting her head from his chest. He wiped away the last tears from her eyes and smiled at her before kissing her. Kissing her was something he could never get tired of doing, something he had been longing for as long as he could remember and now that he had the opportunity he never wanted it to stop. His weight made her turn to her back, putting her arms around him, making sure she didn't break their kiss. He stopped, pulled his upper body to rest in the strength from his arms. Her eyes captured him once again. Drawing him in, making him wonder what was going on in her beautiful mind, making him study every edge of her that was visible from the covers. She was perfect, even with all the imperfections she had - she was perfect because she loved him, loved him more than anything, loved him more than he could have ever hoped for.
"Are you trying to lead me astray, Alex Ryan?" he heard Claire ask and pulled himself out of his own thoughts. He sent her a cheeky smile that got her to smile as well. "Would that be a problem?" he asked and kissed her on the neck that made her send out a small laugh. "We have to get back" Claire said and placed her hands on both side of his head. His stubbles felt rough against her palms and she could almost feel the blood rush through his veins. "I thought we stayed an extra day" Alex said and made his way down her arm with kisses, feeling the same desire run through their bodies as the night before. They were like two teenageres who was alone in the room for the first time, feeding on the tension that had been built up during the years, feeding on the lust and longing.
"Uuurgh I want to but we can't" Claire said and couldn't help but laugh as his stubbles lightly crossed her bare shoulder. "Yes we can" Alex said and kissed her on the neck, determined to stay in bed all day. He wasn't ready to leave their world and go back home, not yet. Their mouths met in a heavy float of kisses, all intense, passionate and soft.
"Alex" Claire laughed and took his head in her hands. "I love you and I love this and I don't want to go back, but we have to - we can't hide out here in Queensland forever. Beside, the truck is coming by the day after tomorrow to pick up the last herd of sheep for the sale and I don't trust Tess to handle gathering them all" Claire said and looked at him, begging him to understand the importance of them going home. They might have created their own world here, in this hotel room, but they would just have to create their own world at home, beside - she was about ready to get away from Queensland and every memory of Peter. She wanted to start all over again, at home, with Alex by her side.
"Fine, you win McLeod" Alex said and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling himself off her. She was right, as always - They did need to go back home and soon. He would have Harry on his back for days if he failed to have things done around the place, and having Harry on his back was something he could live without.