A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I know I took FOREVER to update, but I suck, and I'm lazy, and I procrastinate. ::shame shame:: Stephanie. Ugh. Well, I've written it now, a little in a rush if you ask me. Sorry if it sucks.
The Amnesiac Patient
Chapter 3- This is How We Roll
"Gah!" Lorelai cried out as she bumped into a dark figure as she headed down the stairs.
"Ah!" Rory let out a surprised yell.
"Geez, sorry," Lorelai said, brushing back her hair.
"Yeah." Rory nodded. "What are you doing down here?"
Lorelai bit her lip. "Getting water." She suspiciously said. "What are you doing?"
"Getting some water," Rory's eyes shifted to the couch, where a dark-haired teen was sleeping with a light snore.
"It's weird," Lorelai commented.
"Yeah," Rory agreed with a nod.
"There's never been a guy staying in this house. Ever." Lorelai said.
"I know!" Rory exclaimed, her eyes turning to the snoring boy.
"He snores," Rory added.
"I see that now," Lorelai also turned her gaze to the living room.
Joe shifted and turned over, nearly rolling off the couch in the process.
"What now?" Rory asked.
"We...go back to sleep I guess..." Lorelai blinked. Rory agreed and Lorelai started to head back up the stairs.
"Where are you going?" Lorelai asked as Rory started to head into the kitchen.
"Getting some water," Rory said.
"Oh," her mother nodded.
"Brace yourselves," Lorelai remarked as she turned down the street and headed to the Gilmore mansion.
"Har har." Rory rolled her eyes. "They're not that bad," she turned to Joe and said.
"HAH!" Lorelai exclaimed. "You've never seen them on a bad day. Once we get in there, they attack, sink their teeth into us and inject their poison. This is why I always dreaded the holidays. Friday was a safe haven before." The older Gilmore pouted as she ended her rant.
"Does she usually talk this much?" Joe asked.
"Yes." "No." Rory and Lorelai replied simultaneously. Joe chuckled, glancing out the window as they pulled into the driveway.
"Big." He remarked, looking the tall building up and down.
"Be afraid." Lorelai repeated the words from before. "Be very afraid."
"Stop being so dramatic," Rory sighed, glancing behind her at Joe, who was staring out the window. Lorelai turned to her daughter, then followed her gaze to Joe. She nudged Rory in the ribs, grinning smugly. Rory's gaze snapped back to her mom and she rolled her eyes. "Let's go." She opened the door and stepped out as Lorelai and Joe followed.
"Huh." Joe stared up at the building, looking around at the big picture.
"Yep." Lorelai nodded, as she headed to the door. Before she managed to ring the doorbell, the large, wide doors swung open to a smiling Emily.
"Hello hello," Emily grinned, her "polite" smile plastered on her face. Lorelai jumped back in surprise.
"Geez mom, give us a heart attack will you." She said, grimacing at her mother's "polite face". As the Gilmores (and Joe) followed inside, Emily stood by the door, watching them pass in.
"Hello there." Emily said, turning to Joe. "You must be Joe. Nice to meet you." She extended her hand, and Joe took it a bit awkwardly. Meeting the grandparents already, he cynically thought.
"Nice to meet you too," he said uncomfortably.
Emily's plastered smile continued. "Well come along them. Into the living room." She motioned as the group trailed after her. The trio settled into the couch that had accompanied only Lorelai and Rory the week before.
"So, Joe, I hear you were in an accident," Emily said in a sympathetic voice.
"Um." Joe glanced at the younger two of the Gilmores. "Yeah."
"That's terrible, accidents can be such a traumatic thing. And for a young man like yourself, to have to endure such a difficult experience such as memory loss. It must be horrible not to remember anything." Emily continued.
Lorelai buried her face in her hands, feeling embarrassed at her mother's undertone. Emily was blaming her very subtly.
Joe said nothing, casting a side-glance at Rory and Lorelai.
"How are you adjusting so far? It must be crowded staying where you are. That house was not made for so many," Emily kept pushing subtle hints at Lorelai of many things.
"Good evening," Richard Gilmore entered the living room and went forward to the group of three.
"Lorelai, Rory," he acknowledged them with a nod, "You must be Joe." Richard extended his hand for Joe to shake. Joe awkwardly took it. "It's a pleasure to meet you," Richard said with a formal smile. Joe nodded. Richard took a seat across from his wife and gave his classic "Richard-Gilmore-pleasure-doing-business-with-you-smile".
"So," he started, leaning forward. "I hear you were in an accident."
Lorelai slapped her forehead, burying her face in her hands. "Oh god," she mumbled in annoyance.
"Dinner is served," a maid came into the living room, where the group had been awkwardly trying to make conversation for the last 10 minutes.
"Thank you Petunia," Emily said, standing up. "Shall we?" She asked, a forced smile on her face. Lorelai, Rory and Joe drudgingly got up and followed Emily into the dining room.
"You may sit here," Emily motioned to the seat next to Rory.
"Ow," Rory said as Lorelai elbowed her quickly, then each sat at their own seat.
"So," Richard began about 2 minutes later, while everyone was eating, (well, Lorelai, Rory, and Joe were poking) at their salads. "What, exactly, are your intentions?"
Joe blinked, looking up to find Richard scrutinizing him. He felt like this was the part where he should gulp.
"Um, excuse me?"
"What are your plans? How are you planning on finding your parents? Getting back home? Surely, you're not going to mooch off of my daughter for the next 3 years?"
Joe narrowed his eyes, insulted.
"They have police on that, Dad," Lorelai informed him.
"I understand that Lorelai," he replied in a belittling tone. "But is this young man doing anything about it? Does he remember anything?"
"No, not exactly. I have this thing called, memory loss," Joe said, his forced polite tone failing for a moment. Rory gave him a daggered-look and he took a deep breath.
Richard scrunched up his face with a frown, looking intensely at Joe.
The rest of the dinner was spent quietly.
The ride home was spent quietly. Emily had given Lorelai some lamp at the end of dinner, which now took up the front seat. Rory and Joe sat in the back seat, neither saying much for the first few minutes.
"I am so sorry," Rory said. "He's never acted like that before."
"It's fine." Joe said.
"No, it's not. I'm really sorry," Rory continued to apologize. He couldn't help but smirk at her insistence.
"It could have been worse, I'll tell you that," Lorelai added.
"So...those are your parents..." Joe chuckled.
"I refuse to believe that." Lorelai smiled. Rory and Joe exchanged looks that Lorelai spotted in her rearview mirror. She grinned smugly.
"Home sweet home," she remarked as she pulled into the driveway.
They crawled out of the car and headed towards the cheerful structure (well, cheerful compared to an hour ago).
"I'm heading to Luke's for some coffee. Who wants to come?"
"I get to meet some of your delightful townspeople? I don't think so," Joe sarcastically said with a playful undertone. He remembered the stares he'd gotten when they'd driven into town, one of the biggest reasons he'd tried not to leave the Gilmore house.
"So cynical!" Lorelai jabbed her thumb at Joe. "Coming?" She asked Rory. "Oh right," she leaned closer, "you want to stay with your boyfriend," she smirked. Rory threw dagger-eyes at her, trying to stop a pink blush from forming on her cheeks, though it was hardly noticeable in the dark.
"Be back in a few!" Lorelai walked away from the house and Jeep as Rory and Joe entered the household.
"Ahh, I love the smell of coffee at 10 at night," Lorelai entered the diner, taking in a deep breath of the scent.
"We're closing up in a few," Luke said, as the second to last customer handed him some bills and left. Only one other person sat at a table, finishing up some pie.
"I'll only be a few," Lorelai bantered back, sitting at the counter. "Coffee mister man," she slapped her hand on the counter.
Luke rolled his eyes and turned, grabbing the coffee pot. "You're never going to be able to sleep if you have coffee this late." He grumbled, but kept pouring the drink into a mug. Lorelai ignored him and took the full cup, taking a long sip and savoring the taste. She closed her eyes blissfully, then opened them as Luke shifted around quickly.
"What's up with you?" She asked.
"Whadda you mean?" Luke almost snapped, closing the cash register as the last remaining man left.
"You're twitching," she said in an almost-amused tone.
"I'm not twitching. I don't twitch."
"You're acting all jittery and nervous," Lorelai remarked, raising an eyebrow. Luke let out a huff and turned, putting both his hands on the counter.
"I got a message from my sister that apparently was left 3 days ago. Which my phone didn't get because it's old and stupid. She says she's leaving me her kid, my nephew, with me for a while, because she can't handle him, because she's Liz and an irresponsible parent. I tried to call her back but evidently she's in Maine, and her phone line is disconnected. Now she never told me how the kid is getting here, or when he would get here, but I'm supposing he shoulda gotten here at least 2 days ago, and he hasn't showed up. Am I supposed to tell Liz I lost her kid? I don't even know where to start looking for him! For all I know, he ran off like his dad to Indiana or something!" Luke threw his hands up.
"Wow. Um. That's the most I've ever heard you say in one breath," Lorelai blinked, then moved on to the current problem. "You've tried calling her, right?"
"Yes, and I get that annoying message from the operator saying the line is disconnected, because Liz decided to drop everything, including the kid, and move to Maine." Luke worriedly yelled.
"Deep breathes there Luke," Lorelai put her hand up as she contemplated the situation. "When did you get the call?"
"Three days ago," he answered.
"So, maybe she hasn't sent him down here yet. Where does your sister live?"
" New York."
"So, maybe he's coming down in a few days."
"She said she was sending him the next day three days ago."
"Maybe she changed her mind!"
Luke mulled over this for a moment, then let out a frustrated sigh. "Maybe…" he said, obviously not agreeing with it.
"Just…keep your head together, ok?"
"Yeah," he said, taking the cup back and taking a deep breath. Lorelai tried to hand him a dollar but Luke shook his head.
"Keep it. On the house."
Lorelai flashed a smile and picked up her purse, standing up. "Thanks for the coffee," she grinned.
"Don't mention it." Luke nodded, still concerned.
"Don't freak," Lorelai added as she left the diner. The door closed with a soft thud behind her, and she headed down the sidewalk.
"LORELAI!" Babette's raspy voice called out in the night. Lorelai jumped and her hand flew to the chest.
"A little warning might be nice," Lorelai joked awkwardly. She feared that the town gossips would attack her for information soon.
"I hear you're harboring some hot young thing at your house! Rumor has it that he got hit by a bus and you saved him from cardiac arrest!" Babette excitedly said.
"Um, not exactly," Lorelai mumbled, shifting her feet from left to right.
"How old is the guy," Babette questioned.
"Erm, 15, we think..." Lorelai replied, glancing behind her. Luke's wasn't to far away, maybe she could make a run back for it.
"You think?" Babette asked in confusion. Crap.
"He's kinda, er, got amnesia," Lorelai replied quickly. "Look Babette, I've got two hungry teens waiting at home, soooo..."
"I'll walk back with you!" Babette said, hoping to get a glance at the stranger.
"But first I'm going to go get some movies!" Lorelai quickly added.
"Oh, sorry for holding ya up doll," Babette said.
"It's okay," Lorelai politely said.
"I'll stop by tomorrow so we can finish talking," Babette said with a definite under-plot in mind.
"Right," the older Gilmore nodded. "I'll see you later."
"Buh bye doll," Babette nodded with a smile.
A/N: OK, so whatcha all think? I'm glad that I've finally written a chapter where I didn't need the actual episode dialogue for it to work. Phew.
Next Chapter: Sookie and Lorelai arrange for a dinner to introduce Joe to some fellow townspeople. Joe starts to meet the townsfolk on his own, starting with Lane and Taylor.
