Chapter 3– A Change is Coming On
Jasper
I was returning from my short trip to Ithaca to make arrangements with the college administrator and professors at Cornell to finish out my year courtesy of the online program. Alice agreed to meet me at the Vancouver airport.
As Alice approached me at the arrival gate, it was as if I were seeing her for the first time. The eight days we had been apart seemed like years of separation. We ran into each other's arms, ignoring the curious stares. We eventually released each other and touched foreheads.
"So, my love where do you want to go?"
"The member's club should be empty now, so we should be able to talk and catch up without too much distraction," I said.
We walked along the airport corridor ignoring the bustling passengers, food vendors and fancy boutiques. We stopped at the Canada Air Members club door and walked in. I presented my boarding pass to the front clerk. Alice and I proceeded into a dark corner of the lounge, where we plopped ourselves on the leather sofas facing the view of the airstrip.
"Are you happy to see me, Jasper?"
"Yes," I said softly, taking her hands in mine without looking at her. I could sense her fear and anxiety matching my own growing disquiet.
"I'm afraid I'm going to lose you, Jasper. What's going on? Talk to me."
I took an unnecessary deep breath, and then turned to look at my beautiful woman. Alice.
"I don't know what to tell you, Alice. Hell, I don't know what to say to myself."
Alice's twinkling eyes squinted a moment in exasperation. I held her hands even more tightly.
"At first I think I was overwhelmed by a sense of guilt and a desire to take responsibility. Now, I feel like I'm on a quest of self-discovery. I know it is absurd for a 165 year old vampire to be going through an existential crisis, but for lack of anything better, that's the best I can give you."
"Jasper," Alice said softly as she gently caressed my face. "What are you looking for? Why can't I come with you to help you find what you're looking for?"
"She's dazzling me," I thought. Why is this even necessary? Surely she knows how much I adore her. I would do anything to make Alice happy, except the very thing she is asking and demanding as her right as my mate that I do. To stay with her. To be with her.
I leaned closer towards her. It would take no effort to just kiss her and end this madness of mine.
"Alice, darling," I said in my most quiet and velvet Texas drawl. "Why didn't you have a vision of what was going to happen that night?" I could feel the surge of defensiveness roiling inside of her. She stiffened and flashed her amber eyes at me.
"Jasper, you know if I could have prevented what happened, I would have," she said waspishly.
Not quite a direct answer to my otherwise direct question, but I accepted it.
"Alice, will you come with me to help Bella?" I locked my gaze on hers, pleading with my eyes, my heart, and my soul.
"No, Jasper. I can't. I explained it to you before. It's for the best. Really." Alice dropped her gaze and looked down at her fingers and then looked out the window.
We each had drawn our proverbial lines in the sand, and they didn't intersect. They weren't even parallel with each other. Hell, they weren't even in the same plane. Alice smiled bitterly.
"Jasper, remember: the last time you went through an existential crisis, you left Maria, Peter and Charlotte and their traditional vampire ways."
I got up and stood behind her, gently kneading her shoulders before bending down and placing a kiss on the top of her head: her wisps of spiked hair tickling my chin.
"Alice, I am not abandoning you. You are and will always be a part of my life. But something has changed or is changing. I'm not the same man you saw that night when I ran away. When I'm ready, I will come back to you so we can figure out what this means.
"What have I done?" I muttered to myself. I started walking.
"Jasper," Alice called out as I made my way for the door.
"Yes, Alice?"
"Take care of her, Jasper. She really is that fragile. And when the time is right, tell her how very much I really do love her. She is still my friend and my sister."
I nodded, and then walked out to the lobby and out of the airport and exploded into a run.
Forks, Washington. 6:07am, Friday
Jasper
The sun would be rising in 3 minutes and 11 seconds. I would be at the Cullen house in less than 10 minutes. I fed along the way, yet, I felt weary.
I entered the code, and retrieved the house key and opened the door. It was creepy being in the empty house. Without my family here, it was just a shell. Cliché, I know. Well, I quickly showered and put on a fresh change of clothes then headed out to see Bella. Other than making arrangements regarding my Cornell classes, I would put off any long term decisions about my accommodations.
I exited out the door without locking it and headed for the forest.
7:01 am, outside of the Swan Residence.
The police cruiser was gone. It was probably too early for Bella to leave for school. Thankfully, the street was deserted, so I allowed myself to slip around her house to get a sense of where she was or what she was doing. I climbed a tree and perched myself on a sturdy branch so I could get a look inside of her room without her seeing me. I saw her staring out the window in my direction, but she didn't see me. I'm not sure that she saw anything. "Not good," I said out loud. She still had some time before she needed to leave for school. I decided that I would not reestablish my presence with her today. Today was just devoted to reconnaissance and figuring out the best way to approach her.
7:33 am
Bella hadn't moved from the window, and if she was planning on going to school she was late. I heard the telephone ring. Bella picked up on the fourth ring.
"Hi, dad."
"Bella, honey, I thought we agreed that you would try to go to school today."
"I k-know. I'm sorry. I can't." Bella's voice was breaking. "Please don't be mad. I'm trying. I even finished up my history and English assignments. I'm caught up. I can work on my calc assignments and Spanish. Dad, it's the end of the week. Let me just start fresh again on Monday. No more excuses."
"Bella, remember what Phil told you. Fake it, Bella. Pull yourself together and go through the motions. If you can do your assignments at home, you can show up for school. Remember, you have friends at school to help you. Okay?"
"Yeah."
"Hey, Billy called and asked if it was okay if he and Jake came over for sandwiches and a beer. I know you don't want to watch the game, but maybe you can hang out with Jake. He always cheers you up when he's around. Sound like a plan?"
"Sure dad. Whatever you say. See you later."
"Bye Bells."
Well, I didn't see Bella budge from the window in the five hours I had been observing her. So much for Bella working on her assignments. But I learned a lot.
Okay, where would I start? I could easily help Bella catch up on her school work. I could tutor her. Of course if I were in her high school senior class it would be easy for me to use my gift to calm her enough to help her get through class. How would I finesse that? I decided to come back to that one.
The Blacks. I wanted to come back later that night and observe a little bit how they interacted with the chief and Bella. I also wanted to observe Jake, if he is in fact the person I met in the forest that night. Best to know your enemy. Enemy? Well, he certainly wasn't my friend.
7:00pm, Same evening
I was staring at the Homecoming poster the red haired receptionist in the front office gave me. I lucked out. I headed to the high school after I left the Swan residence. I went directly to the administrative office building, and offered up some excuse about needing extra copies of my transcript. The receptionist asked if I was staying for Homecoming week beginning Monday. Perfect! Using my dazzling charm, I was able to get two tickets to the football game, a schedule of events for alumni which I had no intention of attending, two tickets to the band the next Saturday, oh, and a copy of my transcript. I also asked if it was okay if I could "ghost'' through classes and visit some of my favorite professors." Of course," she said, and smiled brightly. That was easy. Now I could check that off my to-do list.
Time to go. I locked up the Cullen house and made my way toward Bella. I would be at the Swan Residence in just over 13 minutes.
When I arrived, a young Quileute boy, closer to a man, actually, was pushing an older man in a wheelchair to the front door. I recognized the older man in the wheelchair as Billy Black. Billy sniffed for a second and looked around.
"Jake, do you smell something off?" he asked, his eyes narrowed.
"Not really. Maybe Charlie's outdoor fridge is on the fritz," Jake offered helpfully.
"Yeah, maybe that's it," Billy replied, but he didn't sound very convinced.
"They could not be referring to me," I growled quietly in disgust. Then again, if they smelled odd to me, I could only imagine I smelled odd to them. They didn't smell quite as strong as the Quileute I met in the forest, but very similar. And the young boy/man was not the one I met in the forest, but that didn't make me feel any better.
I watched as Charlie greeted his guests warmly. Billy handed the chief a brown paper bag and said, "Home-made fish fries and coleslaw from Harry. Jacob here also made some sandwiches for Bella, just in case she doesn't want to eat the fish."
Charlie grunted slowly, a barely audible "Thank you" and ushered his guests in. The grunt, however, masked a tremendous feeling of gratitude.
Once Charlie shut the door I stationed myself beneath the window, hidden from view by the shrubbery. My vampire hearing allowed me to listen as if I were part of the conversation.
"Bella," Charlie called out. "Billy and Jake are here. Why don't you come down, sweetheart?"
"Hey, Bella," the young Quileute, Jake, shouted as he bounded up the stairs. "I made you some special sandwiches and I brought some pictures of the car I'm working on. You wanna see?"
I could sense genuine concern and friendship from the Quileute and a stirring of infatuation and adoration. He was smitten. Charlie was right. The boy was successful in bringing Bella out of her shell. I could feel her a little bit more now.
I stopped focusing on the young couple upstairs and zeroed in on Billy and Charlie to see if I could learn anything more before leaving.
"Hey Charlie, is your outdoor fridge working okay? I thought I smelled some rotten fruit coming through the front of your house."
"No, man, I checked it before you guys came in to get some beers. Everything is fine. Maybe your nose is as busted as your legs."
"You're an asshole, Swan."
"No, I'm a badass."
"Whatever."
I could tell Charlie's response confirmed whatever suspicion Billy might be holding.
"So has Bella mentioned him?"
"No. She won't talk about him. She won't talk about why she was in the forest alone. And when I start cursing him or the Cullens, she gets hysterical and screams I don't understand. She looks real bad, Billy. I thought when Renée and Phil, you met him, Billy, came, and Phil gave her some straight talk about sucking it up, and we agreed on a plan, that things would get better. The sad thing is that I think she is trying, but she needs help. Thanks for bringing Jake. He at least can get her to focus on something else for a little while. Listen, she giggled. How pathetic is that? Her old man is getting his hopes up because his 18 year old daughter is giggling."
"No worries, man. Bella is family. We'll help you get through this. The best thing out of all of this is that at least they're gone."
"Billy, don't start up with that crap. I'm mad about how the whole relationship thing went down, and I don't understand why Dr. Cullen and his family didn't at least tell us they were leaving. But I'm not going to go so far as to condemn them all. While they were here, they were good to us. So let's just drop it, okay?"
"Yeah," Billy reluctantly agreed.
"Hmmn, this could be tricky," I thought. How would I work up enough goodwill so that Charlie lets me in to talk to Bella? Bella didn't seem to have the presence of mind to help me with any kind of secret meeting. My work was going to be cut out for me.
Sunday, 10:30am
I drove up to the Swan residence, and parked my car (I actually rented it for the week) across the street from the Swan residence. I balanced a box of freshly baked goods and a thermos of coffee and teabags from a nearby coffee shop as I walked up the driveway and rang the bell.
I was nervous. Charlie had hung up on me a couple of times before he would listen to what I had to say. But somehow, (okay, I had to dazzle a little bit over the phone), I managed to get him to agree to let me come over, and visit with Bella to check in on her. The food was a peace offering. Esme was always bringing food over to humans. Hopefully, this would buy me some good will.
"Good morning, Chief Swan, thank you so much for letting me come over and visit with Bella," I said as Charlie swung open the door. I was using my most earnest Texan accent. I was wearing black jeans, a white shirt, cowboy boots, and a barn jacket.
In truth, I think the only reason he was letting me in at all was that I explained that I had been away in school and happened to be in town for Homecoming, and wanted to stop by since I was still fond of Bella. Charlie was skeptical, with good reason.
"Bella, you have a visitor."
There was silence similar to what I observed when the Blacks were visiting. I handed Charlie my food offering, and walked to the bottom of the stairs and called out, "Bella, it's me, Jasper. Won't you come down and say hello to me?"
There was so much palpable tension coming from me, from Charlie and yes, even from Bella. I could hear her slowly shuffling about. I heard a door slam, feet scurrying to the bathroom and the brushing of teeth. More scurrying and I detected drawers opening and shutting. I guess Charlie heard the same thing. I didn't dare go up the stairs to Bella's room directly. I would just have to wait. At least she didn't say "no" or "go away."
"Jasper," Bella cried in a tiny voice. "Is that really you? You didn't forget me?" Bella halted at the bottom of the stairs. I could sense that she was genuinely happy, not just relieved to see me, like… what's that famous expression? Like I was her personal Jesus. That's it. She held out her hands to grasp mine tightly.
In some ways she looked more polished than I had ever seen her. She had done something with her hair; it wasn't curly and unruly. It was straightened and smooth. Her eyebrows, while still lush and beautiful, weren't quite as natural – they were professionally done. It was as if the real Bella was hiding beneath a manufactured façade. Strange, so unlike her. She was wearing a white sweater and a pair of pink cropped jeans – Wait, did Bella go shopping at Banana Republic? So unlike Bella to be trendy.
But the attractive outfit couldn't hide her sadness. Bella ushered me into the kitchen, and pulled down some plates and cups for the food I brought. I made up stories about life at Cornell while she attended to Charlie. He seemed to enjoy the food. "Thank you Esme," I whispered in my vampire sotto voce. Bella turned and gave me a puzzled look. Had she heard me?
"So Bella, guess what?"
"What?"
"I'm going to be in town this week for Homecoming. In fact I was going to drop in on some of my old classes and catch up with my teachers. I'll see you at school tomorrow, right?"
Chief Swan almost choked on his bagel. He shot me a fierce look like he suspected me of manipulating Bella. But then he looked at her, and sensed the first stirring of interest he had probably seen in a while. He didn't understand what I was doing. I could feel anger, frustration and confusion and doubt rolling off of him. Whatever he was thinking, he surprised me with his next words.
"You see, Bella, you have friends," and he cast a wary look in my direction, "to welcome you back."
I projected a wave of gratitude back at him, and he blinked in confusion before turning away.
Bella had a worried look on her face.
"What's wrong, Bella?" I asked gently.
"It's just that I still haven't entirely caught up on all my work." She was telling the truth, I could tell.
"Bella, I don't have to rush off immediately. If you run upstairs and get your work, maybe I can help with your math homework and science lab."
Four pairs of eyes glared at me. Oops, I forgot this was exactly the conversation I overheard between Bella and her father. Rather than try to cover it up, I just smiled innocently and using my best dazzling smile, asked "What?"
"Nothing," Bella said. "I'll be back in a minute with my math and science books. Thank you for helping me."
It was after 1 o'clock when Bella and I worked through the last of her math problems. We spent some time on the science lab, but we weren't going to finish today. But at least we put a dent in it.
"You know, Bella, maybe you could talk to your science teacher and see if he would let you make up some time on a Saturday. He's pretty understanding like that. If you like, I could put in a good word for you when I see him later this week."
"No, you've done enough, Jasper. Thank you."
"We were going to warm up some soup that Phil, I mean Bella's step-dad made. It's not much but you're welcome to join us."
It took a lot for Charlie to overcome his wariness and invite me to share his table, but I guess he wanted to show his appreciation for my helping to get Bella back on track.
"Thank you, Chief Swan. I really need to get going."
"Call me Charlie. Everyone does."
"Okay, Charlie. Thank you for letting me come over. And Bella, I expect to see you tomorrow, right? If I don't, I know where to find you and I will hunt you down and drag you to school."
Two sets of heartbeats skipped. Bella's eyes were wide and Charlie's puzzled. He thought my joke went too far, and Bella knew I could actually do just that. I gave a hearty laugh to cover up my gaffe.
"Just kidding."
"Yeah, well, good bye Jasper," Charlie said as he escorted me out and shut the door behind me.
I could smell the soup warming up in the microwave. All human food tended to repulse me, but this soup actually smelled appetizing.
I knew Charlie was watching me walk to my car, so I would have to keep up appearances until I drove off.
Not bad for a day's work. I thought. Time to hunt. I was thirsty. I gave 2 quick honks as I pulled out of my parking space and waved to the window.
