AN: You see that? I can update on a regular basis. Well, that's because I have the time now. That's what being sick at home does for you. All I can do is sit down on my bed and just type away. I want to apologize in advance for this short chapter, because in comparison with the other two this one is a little bit short. It's not that I didn't have more to write, but I wanted this to be the last chapter written in Aria's POV before they went to New York. Because, I mean, it has been taking them long enough to go, wouldn't you say? New York is where all the fun and drama to this story starts. So, enjoy this chapter, solely written in Aria's POV.
Love,
M.
CHAPTER 3 – It's My Life, My Decision
When I walk outside after my last lecture, I see Holden standing there talking to professor Fitz. I have no idea what the two of them are discussing, but before I get to them professor Fitz leaves Holden alone and walks to his car. Holden is giving me a weird, almost angry look. I don't know what professor Fitz said to him, but I'm guessing it's not something good. "Hey. What is wrong?" I ask him when I stand in front of him.
He repeats my question and let's out a laugh. Not a sincere, this is funny laugh, but an angry, you've got to be kidding me laugh. "You've got some explaining to do." I look at him astonished. What did I do wrong this time? He's starting to walk away, when I grasp his hand in mine. He yanks his hand away and keeps on walking on a fast pace. I try to keep up with him, but unfortunately I'm not fast enough. I keep walking after him, until he opens the door of The Brew and orders his usual. I try to get his attention, but he ignores me. I order my usual as well. When Holden gets his cup of coffee, he doesn't wait for me to get mine, but just walks to a table and sits down.
After I get my cup of coffee as well, I join Holden at the table. He doesn't want to look at me. I can feel it. He's looking everywhere, but at me. I try to put my hand over his, but he just pulls his hand away. "Can you please explain to me what you think I did wrong?" This attracts his attention and for the first time since we met this afternoon, he's looking right into my eyes.
"Professor Fitz let me in on a little detail you might have forgotten to mention to me. It has something to do with upcoming weekend and New York." That's when it hit me. They were talking about the workshop. Professor Fitz must have thought I already told Holden about it, but I was just going to. Great of him to just ruin this for me, although I know it's not his fault. "Oh, you remember now," he says sarcastically.
"He just asked me today and this is the first time I've seen you today. I wanted to tell you in person." I see his eyes softening. I smile. "It's a workshop for writing a novel, this weekend in New York. He had a spare ticket and he asked me to come with him. You know how much I love writing and this is a really great opportunity."
He leans his head into his hands and looks at me. "It sounds like a nice opportunity. So I won't see you Saturday?" He asks as he smiles his boyish grin.
Now comes the hardest part. I have to explain to him, that I'll be spending the night with our professor in a hotel in New York. I know how jealous he gets, even if there is no reason to. "Well, you won't see me Friday and Saturday," I say as softly as possible. Because of the following silence, I think he didn't hear me.
I look at him and see his confused look. So, he did hear me. "What do you mean with that? The workshop is Saturday, you said it yourself." I can see he's getting angry.
"It's early in the morning. That's why we need to stay in a hotel from Friday to Saturday." That does it. He puts his palms harshly on the table, making everybody in the café looking at us. I look around and I can feel that I'm blushing. In these moments I just get really ashamed of him, my own boyfriend.
"You're not going anywhere!" he screams. He always thinks he can control me, like I'm his property, but I'm not. He has to learn that this is my life and that it's my decision to make, not his. I didn't even ask him for permission, I was telling him that this is what I was going to do. I get angry and stand up from my chair. I can see that he's confused. I've never had the nerve to stand up against him. I've always been too afraid or something.
"This is my life Holden. I wasn't asking, I was telling you. You can't like it, but I'm still going. I've had it with al your jealous behaviour!" It was my turn to scream and make everybody looking at us. I hate being the centre of attention, but I was sick and tired of Holden trying to decide what my life should look like.
Holden stands up as well and grasps my arm, in the process of doing so he's hurting me. Tears are forming in my eyes and I yank my arm out of his grasp. I get my bag and storm out of the café, while tears are streaming down my face. I start walking as fast as I can, walking home. I didn't look behind me to see if he was following me. If I'd looked behind me, I would've seen Holden standing in front of the Brew, to astonished to scream my name or to move.
When I get home, I throw the door shut and rush upstairs, to my room. I let my bag drop to the ground and let myself fall onto my bed. I let all the tears rush down my face and hide my face in my pillow. I hear the door to my bedroom softly open and I can hear footsteps nearing to my bed. Hearing from the footsteps, it's my mother who just step foot in my bedroom. I can feel her sitting down onto my bed and I can feel her arm softly rub my back. "Honey. What's wrong?"
I do want to say something, but I choked on my words and couldn't say a thing. I'm happy when my mom doesn't keep probing with questions. She cradles me in her arms and tries to comfort me with her words. When I stop sobbing loudly, she lets go of me and grabs me by my shoulders. "Do you want to go downstairs? Dinner is ready already."
I wipe away my dried tears and get up from my bed. I look into the mirror and see strikes of mascara from my tears on my cheeks. I wipe them away real fast with the palm of my hands. I put my hair in a ponytail and I hear Ella walking downstairs. When I decide that I look presentable enough, I walk downstairs. My parents are already sitting at the table and all the plates are filled with food.
I see that there are only three plates on the table and ask where Mike is. Ella tells me that Mike will be staying at a friend's tonight. That's my opportunity to discuss the workshops with my parents. I decide to bring it up when we all finish our dinners.
Just before Byron gets up from his chair, I start talking. "I want to discuss something with you." Byron sits down again. Ella laughs at me encouraging and Byron looks at me with question marks in his eyes. "Professor Fitz has a spare ticket for a workshop writing a novel in New York upcoming weekend and he asked me to come with him. I'd really like to go, because I think it's a great opportunity for me. I already talked about it with Ella, but I really want to discuss it with the both of you." I can see that Byron doesn't really enjoy the idea.
"Are you two going alone?" Byron asks after a pregnant silence. I'm afraid to give him an aswer, so I just nod my head to answer his question. I see Byron giving Ella a quick glance and lets him know, with only one look, that she's okay with my decision. "I'm fine with it, Aria. Officially you don't need my approval, but I think it's really nice of you to think about us." He gets up from his chair again and walks towards me. He holds me with his two hands and leaves a kiss in my hair. Then, he walks upstairs, probably to his office.
The next morning it's time for school again. While driving to school, I dread seeing Holden. He called me a couple of times and even left a voicemail yesterday evening, but I didn't want to hear what he had to say to me. I barely slept last night because all of the thoughts in my head. I'm still not ready to speak to him, but school is important. I can't avoid school because of him. Besides that I need to let professor Fitz know if I'm coming with him on Friday. That's something I also thought about last night and I decided to do it. I can't let that kind of opportunity slip by.
When I arrive at school, the first thing I do is walking towards the office of professor Fitz. I'm taking my chance on him being there already, because my first lecture of the day is from him. I also think I saw his car parked at the parking lot. I knock on the door of his office and hear sigh muttering. I assume the muttering means I can come in and I open the door. Professor Fitz looks up from his desk and smiles when he sees me standing there. "Come in and close the door behind you."
I turn around, close the door and take a seat in the chair facing his. There is an awkward silence until I decide to break it. "I thought about it very well and I… I'm coming with." I smile nervously and I don't have the courage to look up to him. I don't really know the reason to that.
"That is nice. I'll take care of everything and than we can leave on Friday. Shall we meet up here Friday morning around 9 and drive from here to the hotel? Or are you rather going with your own car? Than we can drive there separately." I've got the feeling he is nervous too. But, why would he be? I'm probably sensing it wrong. I take a good look at him and I see the same dark circles under his eyes as under mine.
"Maybe it's useful to meet up here. I will see you at 9 here, Friday." I get up from the comfortable chair and see professor Fitz packing all his stuff. I take a glance at my watch and see that the lecture starts in five minutes.
"Shall we walk to the classroom together?" We both walk out of his office and during our little walk to the classroom, there are no words being spoken. It's very still. The silence isn't awkward at all. It's a really nice stillness.
