Jokes, Cliches, and Metaphors
Chapter 3: School House Rock!
Situation: School was already out in the other two chapters, but we're just now celebrating it! Use your imagination; you decide where this takes place. As for who all's here, well...
Max is resting his chin in his hands. "I'm bored again. At least at school we always had something to do."
Tyson is horrified at his remark. "Don't talk like that, Max!"
(Kai) "He's got a point, there, Tyson."
Everyone looks at their captain as if to say, "He talked?" Hilary admits that she misses it.
Tyson turns to her. "You too, Hilary? Everyone's lost it! School sucks!"
(Ray) "That's mean, Tyson."
Tyson folds his arms in a pout. "So? It's true. Why's everyone gangin' up on me?"
Maxie knows a way to pass the time. "It's-"
Everyone joins in. "Beyblade School House Rock!"
(Ray) "We seem to be doing this a lot lately."
Time to learn! Oh, yeah, I guess I should mention that Kai's not doing any of this enthusiastically.
Max starts it off with definitions. "Rabbits - nature's multiplication tables!"
(Tyson) "Or square tables!" He and Max begin to recite their squares. Ray moves on to History.
"Necessity may be the mother of invention, but boredom is the father of inspiration."
(Hilary) "Good one, Ray."
Max and Tyson have gone up so high this time, I don't even know what the number is. Ray calls out randomly, "Square root of 928437464758!" This makes the two shut up to think. Yeah, they're stumped. I am, too...
Kenny makes a comment of his own. "The classrooms themselves are a joke on their own."
Meilin from Cardcaptors walks in. "I tried to tell everyone that! They're freezing!"
Tyson wonders aloud where she came from. She snaps at him. "That's not the point. What I want to know is if Hypothermia's part of our curriculum!" She leaves.
"Okaaaaaay..."
Kenny, of course, just HAS to say something. "Technically, it IS part of the curriculum, since we learn about it in Health class."
Hilary all of a sudden appears out of nowhere, shouting, "Man, I hate periods!" This confuses everyone around her, so she explains. "It's bad enough I have one every month, but there's another one at the end of every sentence, not to mention the periodic table!"
(Tyson) "That was scary...and random."
Hilary snaps back at him. "Fine! I try to have a little fun with you guys, but look what happens -" She continues to rant, even with Tyson trying to correct himself by compliment her on her joke.
(A/N: I actually said that one in a Keyboarding class...I got alotta laffs off it, too.)
Max suggests she try again, with Ray egging her on. She happily accepts. "I love Nerds and JERKS!"
"Huh?"
"Nerds candy (no own) and Junior Educated Rich Kids!"
Tyson has a sly look on his face. "Uh-oh, Kai."
Hilary gives him the evil eye but blushes. "What's that supposed to mean!"
Kai just watches, not caring. Or do I see a little smile and a blush?
Ray breaks in. "Moving right along...!"
Max introduces us to Literature. "Black as night, white as snow. Night is blue, Snow is...yellow?"
"Ick."
(Tyson) "That was disturbing."
(A/N: Yes. Always remember never to eat the yellow snow. That was a comment from someone in seventh grade.)
Max rubs his fingers through his hair nervously, laughing at his joke, as Kai opened up to the biggest cliche known to all of mankind. "Cleopatra VII - queen of denile."
That was misspelled so you get it if you haven't heard it before, if that's even possible. Everyone once again turns to him. Kai cracked another joke? (A very old and bad one.) Tyson points out how cliche it is.
Kai retorts by saying, "I'm surprised you even know what the word means, Tyson."
Tyson responds to this by sticking out his tongue, then screaming and running when Kai jumps up and chases him around wherever they are. Remember, you decided where it was.
(Max) "What DOES cliche mean?"
Ray answers. "Who cares? (Don't worry, he knows.) Reading isn't included in my allowance."
"You have an allowance?"
Meanwhile, Tyson is still being chased by Kai, screaming audibly, but not entering the area again just yet.
(Kenny) "Suspension is a career-opportunity day."
(Max) "Yeah, the smell of a referral in the morning dominates the need for perfumes and colognes."
Tyson pokes his head in. "Math requires pencil, paper, calculator, and Advil (no own)." He sees Kai coming and runs again. Ray gets up to go get the water hose while Max pumps a Super Soaker (again, no own) that popped out of nowhere. Both leave.
Kenny knows where this is going. "Uh-oh, Dizzi. Here we go again."
"Better get the first aid kit, guys. This could get ugly."
Hilary goes to get the towels, but is hit with a water balloon. "That's it!" she screams as she takes off to get the culprit.
"See what I mean?" asked the all-knowing laptop.
Kenny sighs. "I'll go get the band-aids."
Authoress's Note: Okay, listen up. Now that summer's here and exams are over (YEAH! WHOOHOO!) hopefully I can rewrite all these in time to get a bunch of the new ones up that I never got to add. I'll try to get those before the originals return. Thanks for understanding, peeps!
