And now, what you've all been waiting for… :drumroll: a BrainyXVi confrontation! Unfortunately, two or three other people have beat me to this, but I wanted one all the same. It seemed incomplete without some explination on Brainy's part why he was leaving…
Yup. This is the longest chapter. Mostly because our little green ex-Coluan and Shrinking Violet have a lot to cover. It occurs to me, in the aftermath of writing this, that maayyybbeee I should've added something with the origional Supes in here, since, you know… Supes is the whole strength and motivation/inspiration of Brainy in the first place. But it's unchangable now. Oh well.
Anyway, read and review! (please!)
11 pages long in WORD
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Note:
Stardate 2311547.6. records show that no progress has been made in earning the producing rights to LoSH. Conclusion; avearia does not own LoSH. Yet.
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Ch 3—Emotionally ready
The ceremony was beginning. He knew this. After all, he could see the whole thing happening right in front of him; a huge span of windows presented him with a birds-eye view of the whole gathering. He watched for a second as Kell-El took the flight ring from the box and couldn't help but smile as the clone slipped it on. An odd sense of pride was swelling up, something that he rarely felt as a robot; that was his invention.
And, more importantly, Kell-El was wearing it.
He knew, the moment that 1.0 had overtaken him, that Imperiex was doomed. He also knew that Kell-El would take it hard, when 1.0 would delete Imperiex. Imperiex was Kell's purpose, and without it, he thought that the clone would be lost. But, apparently not. Or at least, if Kell had been lost, he'd somehow found his way back to the right path.
The green-skinned child watched for a moment longer as Kell turned to the crowd of Legionnaires and raised his right hand. He watched, as Kell began to speak, not being able to hear a word the clone said, since the whole office was sound-proofed. That's probably the only reason he was still watching; because he couldn't hear the Legion, and the Legion couldn't see or hear him.
After a second, though, he turned away. He grabbed what little he owned—he'd packed it into two bags for storage—and lifted them from the table. With both of them in hand, he turned for the exit, fully prepared to leave.
But he was cut short when he opened the door.
Face-to-face with someone he didn't want to see.
She stared at him for a few moments, her head tilted upwards to look into his optics—er, eyes. Look into his eyes. Dang, this human thing was weird. And what was this weird feeling he had, in the pit of his stomach? Was it fear?
Shrinking Violet paused, finally opening her mouth, choosing her words carefully as she formed them with her purple-tinted lips. "So." She stopped, her face paused in that last word, still forming the 'o' shape, as though that word was supposed to mean everything.
Maybe he just wasn't getting it? "So…" he said aloud, hoping to get the meaning. It didn't come to him.
The sound made Salu, aka Shrinking Violet, snap out of it. "So you're leaving? That's it?" she asked, her voice cracking suddenly. He didn't say anything. He couldn't. "Why? Why are you just… leaving? After all of that? I don't understand!"
Green eyes stared at her, trying to pick out the best way to explain. "You still trust me, then?" He said quietly. "Even after I hit you?"
The memory of the blow made Violet take a step back, if just for a moment. The sudden appearance of him, his arms extending towards her, pushing—her head hitting against the wall in a sickening crack—her flower falling from her hair, wilting.
"I'm trying." She said. "But how am I supposed to try… when you aren't even considering it?" she demanded.
"It's not that I'm not considering it…" he replied slowly, looking off to his left. There, behind those windows, stood the rest of the Legion. "It's that I just find it unlikely. That the Legion would trust me, that is." He looked at her evenly. "I betrayed everyone's trust, and gave them reason to doubt me. And now I have to build it back up, piece by piece. And… I don't know if I'm ready for that." He sighed. "I spent years earning that trust. A robot isn't exactly something that society reveres—especially not a robot from colu. Especially not a robot who's ancestor was…" he fell short of saying the name. He just couldn't do it.
"Please…" Shrinking Violet gave him a look, her eyebrows coming together. "I… I'm willing to trust you, if you give me a chance! But if you don't stay, I won't have a chance to trust you!" she said.
He paused, thinking. "I am sorry," he said finally. "But I cannot stay."
What? Shrinking Violet's eyes went wide as she stopped. Even though she was offering her trust, he couldn't—wouldn't—stay? No, it wasn't just about the trust issue, then. Her mind raced, trying to find the other problem, and fix it quick before he left. She stared, unsure. Then, she was hit by a sudden revelation that made her slow down, and her eyes went unfocused. "Is it because you don't have… superpowers… any more…?" she asked slowly, hoping it wasn't the answer. No. It couldn't be the answer. They wouldn't throw him out just because he wasn't a robot any more!
But the comment made the boy step back, surprised. "Despite my appearance, I have in fact retained my intelligence," he informed the shorter girl, with a small frown.
"Then why don't you stay?" she asked, clasping her hands in front of her.
"I still have to figure some things out," he explained. "Besides, even if you all did accept me, I still think that I have to get used to my new…" he looked down to his hands.
"Assets?" Shrinking Violet provided for him. So that was it. He wasn't comfortable in his new body.
The boy raised his eyebrow. "I was thinking more along the lines of "Curiosities", but yes," he shrugged.
Violet struggled to find a new argument to base herself on. "How will you survive, then?" she asked finally. "If you don't know how to take care of your new body, you're a dead man."
The green-skinned child studied her for a moment longer; that's all he'd been doing since the conversation started. He finally blinked, showing her his tickets to an interplanetary shuttle, scheduled for that afternoon. "Actually, Lightning Lad covered most of the basics for me, when we went down and bought my tickets," he explained, making the girl's eyebrows kick up once again.
"Garth?" she repeated, disbelieving. "Teaching you?"
"About eating, sleeping, drinking, first aid…" The boy listed as he smiled, thinking back to earlier…
(flashback)
In the infirmary, the green-skinned child was bent over Lightning Lad's metallic arm, surveying the damage. "You're going to need an entirely new one," he informed the redhead slowly, running his fingers down the metal. Parts of the jagged material jutted out, and several key motor systems had been compromised.
"Thought so." Garth, aka Lightning Lad, said, attempting to sit up from the examining table he sat on. He slipped on his first attempt, after trying to use his broken machine-arm to prop himself up and it gave way. "Ouch."
The Coluan-turned-human beside him put a hand to his back and helped him up. "I'm sorry about… you know." He said, blushing.
"Blowing it up? Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Lightning Lad waved the apology away. "You weren't yourself. Hey! You're blushing!" he changed the subject abruptly, his eyebrows kicking up in amusement. The comment was true—a dark green tint had spread itself over his 'medic's' face. The comment only made him blush more. "You know, I really LIKE this new you. You're so fun to tease," Lightning Lad laughed, flashing a grin.
"You like the new me…?" the boy repeated, going over to a nearby table. He let out a small sigh. "Well, at least one of us does," he muttered under his breath.
And, of course, Garth caught it. "Now hold on a second," he said, his voice a scorn. He turned to face the green-skinned child. "Don't go demeaning yourself, okay? You're a hero, and you're amazing. It's not like that whole "Brainiac take over" thing was your fault, not entirely—and you fixed it by the end. Understand?" he asked. When his friend didn't answer, Garth sighed. "Understand?" he pressed.
"No." It was an honest answer, and the blonde looked up into his companion's eyes. "No. I don't understand."
Garth sighed. "You're a friend." He explained. "And even I think you deserve a second chance—and I hold the record for 'longest held grudge'! Remember Dream Girl? Or Ferro Lad? Or heck, Cosmic Boy might even fit under that category…"
The blonde looked down at his shoes. "What's the point of you forgiving me…" he began, his lip quivering, "…if I cannot forgive myself?"
There was a silence, as the question hung in the air. Garth studied the boy for a moment, then lay back down on the table. "So what are you going to do?" he asked finally, making his companion's head snap up.
"I…" the blond wavered. "I think I'm going to leave the Legion."
"Because you don't think you can be trusted? Is that it?" Garth asked, monotone voice. He stared at the ceiling. "I can assure you that the others—most of them, anyway—think the same way I do. They might not trust you fully, but they don't expect you to turn on us at any given time."
"It's not just that…" he sighed. "It's… these darn emotions. I don't understand my body any more—no datastream that I can just peek into. There's all these… bubbles, sensitive areas, strange reactions, that I keep having… and I need to sort them out, at least."
Another silence stretched.
"And so you're going to leave?"
"Yes."
"…Where will you go?"
Silence.
"I'm not sure. Why?"
"You don't even know how to use the public transport system, do you?" Garth asked, his voice picking up interest at last. He seemed very 'on' to the idea of helping the green-skinned child fulfill his wishes.
The child in question blushed again, shaking his head. "And you do you know about what atmospheres you can breathe in? How about what you eat, or like to eat? How about sleeping—now THERE'S something you rarely did as a robot."
Each question was met by a shake of the head on his companion's part. The blonde blushed for the billionth time in that conversation. "I don't know, you're right."
Garth studied him, his ice-blue eyes dancing over the Coluan's new form. He paused, then looked up to the ceiling again. "Well, fine. You finish my arm repairs, or make me a new arm or whatever, and then, you and me?" he jerked a thumb in his own direction. "We'll take a walk down to the inter-planetary transport gate and I'll show you how it's done. We'll have a nice little chat. All right?"
The offer was unexpected, and the boy had to clutch the table in front of him to keep from falling backwards in shock. Still, he nodded at the proposal. "All right." After a second, he had to ask. "Why?"
Lightning Lad flashed another grin. "Well, now, I can't just let you leave without knowing what to do! That would be horrible of me, leaving a friend out to dry like that." He explained. "Even if I don't want you to leave."
The blonde blushed. "Uh… okay."
Another pause, then Garth spoke up. "But I do have one request…" Lightning Lad said, giving a look over to where his friend was sitting.
"…yes…?"
He flashed a grin. "About my metallic arm… Could you make it out of gold this time? I think it would look WAY cooler."
This comment actually made the green-skinned humanoid take in a huge gasp of air, followed by a fit of laughter. He began laughing so hard that his knees gave way, which was probably for the better, as he disappeared from sight for a moment as he slipped behind the table. "Dude, now you're LAUGHING! I really need to get the security feed from here," Garth exclaimed from the worktable, trying to see the kid's laughing face. "But honestly, what's so funny?"
"Gold is…" the boy tried to get this strange emotion under control as he chuckled a little bit. "Gold is so… you. But it would never work," he explained, and when Lightning Lad gave him a curious look, he elaborated. "Gold is far too soft of a metal for this. It would never hold up to the wear-and-tear of superhero work."
"Ah." Lightning Lad sighed, laying back down. "Too bad. Titanium is great, but it's so… boring, you know?"
The boy behind him tapped his green chin in thought. "You know, I DO have something else that might work instead," he said slowly. He disappeared into his room, bringing out a different metal. At the sight of it, Garth sat up so fast that the blood rushed from his head.
"What is—this!" it was an exclamation, as he reached out with his left hand to touch the strange metal.
The metal that the Coluan was holding was metal, indeed, but had an odd sheen to it. It was blue in parts, especially the parts that were looking straight on. As you turned it, the metal kind of rippled, giving off different colors, but it was mainly silver with a sea-blue overlay. "It's called 'tempered metal'," he explained to the redhead. "Just as strong as titanium, and… how would you say… flashier?" he rubbed his hand down the metal. "The core of Colu is made out of this, or a liquid version of it at least. And since you all pretty much decimated the Coluan race, there was no reason I couldn't take some…" he raised an eyebrow at Lightning Lad, who's eyebrows kicked up.
"Oh, yeah, I guess we DID destroy that entire race… didn't we?" he asked, not having considered it before. After looking sheepish for a moment, he looked back at the metal. "So… you could make my new arm out of this…?"
"Yes. Would you like me to?"
"You know it!" the redhead flashed a smile.
"Well, okay then," was the reply, as he went and set the metal on a nearby table. He looked over to where Lightning Lad was lying, feeling… grateful.
Lightning Lad had always been there. It was odd—even though Cosmic Boy was the head of the team, he'd always considered Garth to be the true leader. Even moreso when Cosmic Boy had started taking long trips away from Legion HQ to other planets—Garth was the one who was really running the team.
And now that the now-human robot was ready to leave the Legion, Garth was still there, leading the way, as he always had been. The Coluan child was, in a word, grateful. And he was impossibly glad to be leaving Garth this one last gift, even if the redhead had no idea how much his attitude meant to him.
He smiled, his green eyes dancing, deciding to add one last touch. "I'll even trim it in gold for you." He said.
(End Flashback)
Shrinking Violet watched him as his eyes zoned out in a memory. When he finally turned his gaze back on her, it was a confused look. "He explained pretty much everything on that trip," he said. "And he seemed to accept that I was leaving. Why can't you?"
"Because…" he'd caught her off guard. Garth was supporting his decision? For real? There must've been something she was missing. Still, she had to answer. "Because you're giving up! You're just assuming the worst out of us, without giving us a chance—you say that we'll all hate you and you don't give us a chance to prove that we don't. We won't kill you, we want you to stay. You're assuming the worst out of yourself, too, because you don't think you can handle your new body! You're not even trying, and it's frustrating! Here I am, trying my hardest to make things work, and you're… you're…!" she bit her tongue, unable to finish her sentence.
"Why are you trying your hardest?" the boy pressed. "Why try at all? It's none of your concern otherwise—why do you want me to stay so badly?" he asked, looking into her eyes.
She battled her frustration, grasping her outfit in thought. She fought the annoyed emotion down, but was surprised to find another emotion hiding right beneath it; attatchment. And, as much as she wanted to, Violet couldn't hold it in. "Because… because We were close!" she exclaimed, biting her lip. "Because you were the first person I let near me in a long time, the first person I decided I could trust—you let me prove myself, when so many people don't! I thought we had something!" she yelled, her lip quivering.
The boy stared at her for a long time, his green eyes wide. Somewhere in the back of his mind he felt that the ceremony was going to be over soon, and that he needed to leave, but he just couldn't bring himself to hurry. What she said really hit him.
"Oh dear." He said, making her look up. "I've ruined everything, haven't I?"
In his eyes, the girl thought she could see his thoughts. Violet felt the emotions as they played in his eyes; confusion, the sense of loss, the draining of hope. So, maybe he'd thought they'd had something, too? Immediately, she regretted yelling.
He blinked at her, his green eyes searching her pale face as he considered it. Very slowly, as to not upset his already-jumpy emotions, he let himself think. Yes, it was clear; he'd definitely lost something with her. Maybe it was just the chance at having a collegue who could keep up with him on an intellectual level, or maybe it was a friendship. Hell, maybe it was a crush, but it was far to early to tell something like that, especially when he bearly understood emotions like 'admiration' and 'iscolation'.
It was difficult to explain. All he knew was that when he let 1.0 into his system, he'd lost. For weeks, months, he'd kept his ancestor at bay, denying him acess as best he could. But when imperiex attacked, 1.0 made an ultimatum; either continue resisting his influence and, in return for keeping his mainframe clean, he'd lose his friends… or he could give into 1.0's influence, corrupting his databanks but saving his friends.
It was a lie, of course. He'd given himself up to 1.0, and because of that, he'd not only lost control of his body, and lost himself, but he'd also lost his friends—he'd lost their trust, their presence, their friendship. In trying to save one, he'd lost both. It was clear now, more than it ever could be. Shrinking Violet was proof of that… as much as she wanted things to work, she still had a hard time trusting him.
His emotions had betrayed him. Even as a logical-thinking robot, he'd seen the danger and panicked. He saw his friends failing, fighting a losing battle, and even though they'd won out in the past, he was still terrified that they would be overwhelmed. Maybe not being able to fight had added to that fear, or maybe the excess presence of his ancestor in his mind had just added to his paranoia, but that wasn't the point; the point was that he was afraid. And the misplaced fear had led him to err, to give in and give up.
And now? Now that those trecherous emotions which had tripped him up as a robot were a hundred times stronger, and more numerous? What could he do? The logical part of his brain had unhappily counted up the odds of his new emotions interfering while on a mission, and the odds had been even worse than his chances of surviving the 1.0 takeover. And, while he'd gotten through that, there was something different about putting onesself in danger, and putting your team in danger.
These emotions made him practically a ticking bomb. He at least wanted to know how to diffuse it if the time ever came. The feelings were just too vibrant… they were overwhelming him. Like right now, for instance. He couldn't even freaking respond to his confrontor because he didn't want to stir up more unhandle-able emotions! But… he had to try.
He swayed in his spot, his grip tightening on the bags as he looked upwards for some help, any help, that might come to him. At last, he gave up waiting, hoping, and just looked to the floor.
"I'm scared."
In those woreds, Shrinking Violet's heart stopped. "What?"
He set the bags on the floor, feeling that if he didn't, he'd surely drop them. He straightened, crossing his arms over his chest, trying to explain his reasoning without getting more upset. If he just treated this like a breifing, then maybe… "I said I believe I am scared." He said, his voice not quite even. It wavered slightly, and he realized that he might not be able to do this without getting panicked.
"Scared?" she repeated, hands flying up to tug on her short hair. "Scared that we won't accept you? Scared the Legion will throw you out?"
"I'm afraid of myself, actually." Yup, his voice just cracked. He wasn't going to make it through this without at least hyperventallating a bit. He fidgited, biting down on his lip. "I mean, it was my emotions that led to the whole 1.0 problem. I accessed the program on an impulse to save Superman and because I wanted him to trust me again. I didn't tell anyone about it 1.0's appearances in my mind for so long because I didn't want any of you to start seeing him in me. And I finally gave into him because I was afraid that if I didn't, Imperiex's forces would destroy you all." Feeling that stupid rush of extreme emotion come back, the blonde boy rubbed his face with a hand, dragging his fingers down the side of his face as though the pressure would help him forget about the unexplained sensations in his head. "Time and time again I went against logic and acted on… impulse. And that was when I was a robot! If danger comes in some form like that again…!" he didn't go on. He couldn't.
Violet stared at him, open-mouthed. She tried to form some sort of solace, a comfort for him; he seemed to be incredibly upset. "You could learn to handle it!" she said finally. "You're smart. With some practice, you could control your emotions better than anyone."
"I know!" he said, finally yelling. "I know I could if I practiced. That's why I have to leave!" he stopped, catching his breath, trying to hold back from yelling again. Finally he looked at her. "Don't you see? I need… this. I need to leave."
She just stared at him, her eyes wide and her mouth open. With a sigh he looked down.
"I just need time," he said finally, closing his eyes. He bowed his head, ashamed. "I don't understand what's happening to me—what happened, or what's going to happen. I don't know if I can come to terms with these new emotions, or with what I did while I was in that state. I just. Don't. Know." He took a breath. "I've never been so unsure of anything in my life… and I think it's scaring me."
A silence stretched between them, filling the air with a loud silence. Shrinking Violet ran his words through her head, trying to process them, understand them. It was difficult, but she was beginning to see.
So, her friend didn't trust himself. The lack of trust wasn't pointed at HER—that made her feel slightly better. But he still felt wary of something, and that wouldn't do. It wasn't as though he wasn't EVER going to trust himself again… he just needed time to clear his head and think things through.
But, in order for him to do that, he'd have to distance himself from the situation. He'd have to leave.
And, if she wanted him to go back to normal… if she wanted to protect him… she'd have to let him go.
"I… I guess I understand, now," Shrinking Violet said slowly, looking down to his feet.
The green-skinned child studied her for a moment, then spoke. "All right." He said quietly with a sigh. He took a step back from her, leaning over to grab his bags again. Slowly, hesitating, he straightened, bags in hand. "I… had better leave now. The ceremony's probably over by now," he glanced to the window where he'd been watching Kell-El be sworn in. "…and I don't want to miss my shuttle."
Shrinking Violet nodded, standing aside. She allowed him free passage to the elevator, but paused. They looked at one another for a long moment before she spoke.
"You'd better come back," she told him, her voice cracking slightly. "And I'll be waiting for you."
The boy looked at her, nodding, and stepped forward. A new determination had found its way onto his face as he left, making for the exit.
Shrinking Violet watched as he entered the elevator, pressing a button. She couldn't bear it any more, and her eyes began to swell with tears, just a little. "Brainy…" she said quietly, hoping he would hear.
He did, and the closing doors stopped abruptly as he hit the 'stay open' button. He paused.
"Querl Dox."
The unexpected comment made Violet's eyebrows kick up, and she blinked. "What…?"
"Querl Dox," the boy repeated, looking her straight in the eye. "That's the name I'm going by from now on. If you ever really, really want to find me, I'll be living under that assumed name." he explained.
The girl's eyes opened wide in shock, then confusion. Slowly, a smile found its way onto her face.
He was giving her the option of seeing him again.
Seeing her smile, the blonde boy couldn't help it—he smiled too. He stepped back from the metal elevator doors as they began to close.
"Goodbye," he said quietly as the doors closed. And then the metal pieces came together, completely hiding him from her sight. Even so, she could've sworn she heard him say one last thing:
"And Thank You, Violet."
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A/N:
Yes… I think that our precious Brainy would use the name "Querl" (like in the comics), now that he's human—or Braniac 5.1, but that's a mouthful. So now he's Querl.
Heehee—Querl. Rhymes with Squirrel. :bangs head: Gah! What am I saying! :points accusingly at the fic: I can't be serious for this long, it's giving me a headache—and it's making me say things like… that!
Squirrel…
(edit: Or maybe it's pronounced "sQuare"-ll? Or maybe "Carol"? Idk…)
Yeah, I can't be serious, I guess. Anyway, that's the chapter that yall was waiting for, neh? Some sort of closure between SV and B5.1. Even though this SHOULD be the end, I do indeed have another chapter—one that sums up the veeerrryyy last itty bitty loose end. So, RnR--tell me what you thought of this chapter--and I'll see ya soon!
