I'm so sorry with the delay. I haven't abandoned this fic. But I don't have the time to write on a regular basis. So have patience with me.


Chapter 3

He felt someone taking the place next to him at the counter. Tom didn't need to turn around to know who was sitting next to him.

"How have you found me?"

"Well, I'm smarter than you are." Mike stated and took the bottle away from him.

"Hey, I haven't finish that yet." Tom protested. "You wanna have a shot?"

"No, you drank enough for both of us." They sat in silence for some time.

"How have you found me?" Tom asked again.

Mike sighed "Sasha called you and you never answered. So she called me if you were at my place. And after she told me what happened I figured out that you might be here drinking the last intelligence you have out of your mind."

"She called? Well, she should have called me some time ago and telling me that my kids hate me and that they have problems to be my kids! Has she told you that?"

"No, she told me that you and Ashley had a fight and one word lead to the other and that you left without a word. That isn't you, Tom. So why don't you tell me what really happened?" Mike asked and wondered for the first time what happened in Chandler's house.

Tom snorted. "Yeah, that sounds like Sasha. Only giving a part of information to you and the rest you can figure out by yourself. Or better than that, your kids can't stand their given name and choose to use the maiden name of their deceased mother."

Mike was shocked at this confession. Neither Sasha nor the kids had talked to him about it. All he knew was that Ash and Tom got into a fight and that she accused him not being there when they needed him most. He knew that this particular topic was a sore point for Tom. He knew that Tom felt really guilty for not being around when his family was infected. He could only manage a shocked "What?"

Tom sighed. He knew that Mike won't go away until he had told him what happened. So he took a deep breath and began to tell "Ashley came by at South Com and waited for me two hours. I hadn't time to talk to her. So she went home mad at me. And I can really understand it, you know. I was so in thoughts about Tavo and we all talked about strategies that I forgot her being there. When I saw her leave I immediately had a bad conscious but I was asked back at the strategic table. So when I went home, Sasha had made dinner and we chatted away. Suddenly one word led to the other and when Ash draw blood at the splintered glass the situation got out of control. She was unteachable. And Sam asked her why she is such a bitch. He had a point, you know. Everything I said wasn't right in her ears." He paused for a moment and sighed again. Looking at Mike. "She answered that she is honest with me. Because she wasn't the one who told the school her last name was Gerome. But Sam did." Again he had to swallow. It hurt a lot. Has he failed his kids that bad? Mike didn't know what to say. He knew that Tom will tell him all what happened when he was ready for it. He heard Tom chuckled a little bit.

"And then Sasha told me that it is a lot of pressure to be Tom Chandler's kids. And you know what, Mike, she told me after I asked her if she knew about it, that it wasn't her place to say anything! So has she told you about this too? Or only that I went out without telling her where I go?" He paused "It isn't her place to say anything? She is my girlfriend, for gods sake. She is suppose to say something to me. To give me a hint that something is going wrong with me and the kids. But she said nothing, Mike. G! You still think that I'm the bad guy here?"

Mike couldn't say anything. It was worse than he thought. He could see the hurt in his friend's face. And he felt it too. What had Sasha thought? Why hadn't she told him or gave him a hint? What was wrong with his two friends?

Tom continued "And then Ashley dropped the bomb I'm waiting for for some years now: She accused me not being there when they needed me most!" He let out a deep sight "And you know what, she is right. I wasn't there when they needed me. I was on that damned ship and turned around to get to Cuba and find the damn cure. I knew exactly where they were. They were all healthy. The only problem was that the radio was out of order and Darien tried to get the right equipment so that they could fix it. And why did they have to fix it?" Tom asked but Mike knew he wasn't waiting for an answer from him. Tom continued "Because they wanted to get a hold on me, to tell me they were okay. If I would have been there with them at the cabin, Darien needn't to go to the city and get the right equipment. Because I would have been there. She would still be alive." His voice broke with the last sentence. "They would have still a mother who loves them, be there for them and be their anchor in this world. Now they are stuck with me, who doesn't know if he belongs in this world or not. Who doesn't know how to raise his own kids, who doesn't know if he can fix this situation or his family." A sob escaped him but he continued "I feel like a stranger in my own house, Mike. The kids are living in another city. I don't nothing about them. I don't even know if Sam continued to play hockey or if Ashley is still in the debating club. And Sasha – she is more away from me than with me. She is keeping her distance more and more. I'm afraid of loosing her. And it is all my fault. All my fault." He broke at that point.

Mike had seen him broken only once in his whole life. It was on the plane after Tom shot Shaw. But seeing him in this condition again, it was harder than he ever imagined. He was lost for words.