Last Chapter

He doesn't correct her mangled idiom. They walk in silence for another few minutes. Finally, they reach the end of the path. Before they turn around, he needs an answer to one more question, before he can help her with anything else.

"Ziva, what do you want to do?"


Ziva's POV

She has no answer to the question he just asked her. For most of her life she didn't have any choice in the matter, any ability to choose what she wanted. Unlike Tony, or McGee, or Gibbs, she didn't choose the path of law enforcement. She was trained since she was born to go into a life of killing, a life of protecting the innocent. She realizes that she was never innocent, not really. She killed her first man at the age of seventeen. She lost her innocence, her childhood long before that.

She thinks back, and realizes with a shock that she has never had to worry about what she wanted. She knew from the young age of three that she was going to do whatever her father told her, was going to follow in his footsteps no matter what. The ability to make a choice is foreign to her, even though she has been living under the pretense of doing exactly that these past few months. In reality, she was trapped by herself. She had no experience to do anything other than the things she was trying to escape from, and she had no desire to learn something new. But things have changed. She is different. She wants to try at something. Something unlike anything she has done before.

Gibbs watches her as she struggles to make her thoughts come out as words. "I want to be …normal. I want redemption. And I want peace. I thought I could get it by leaving. I thought I could get it by finding myself. But I think I am beginning to realize I cannot heal alone." The admission is a struggle. She still isn't used to saying the truth, she still wants to hide behind the wall that has served her so well over the years. And yet, to heal, to get redemption for those she has hurt and killed, she needs others too. Her family.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Gibbs looks at her with his piercing blue eyes and she gets the feeling that he can see right through her.

She straightens her back and feels her confidence begin to grow. "I am coming home."

No further words are needed. Ziva and Gibbs walk back to the hotel in a comfortable silence. Once there, Ziva makes the motion to head back to her room, when Gibbs stops her.

"Grab your stuff."

She looks at him and realizes arguing won't gain her any ground. Still, she has to try. "Gibbs, I am a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"Ziva. I'm not asking." She pauses and stares back at him.

"I do not work for you anymore Gibbs. I do not have to listen to you."

But she goes to get her stuff anyways.


Gibbs POV

Gibbs leads her to the spare room and watches as she throws her bags on the bed. She then sits on the corner and crosses her legs. Immediately, Gibbs notes the difference from the quiet woman who greeted him at the hotel, the woman who seemed withdrawn and quiet and completely un-Ziva like, and the woman who sits on the edge of the bed. This woman is different. This woman seems stronger, as if the fact that she is in someplace familiar is slowly returning her to who she was. She is becoming more confident. She is returning to the Ziva that they knew and loved.

His phone rings and he flips it open with a silent curse. Ziva glances at him questioningly, and then he sees a light of recognition in her eyes. After working for him for so long, it is easy for her to assume it's another case. She's right.

"I have to go Ziva. There's a case. You good?"

"Always." He's walking out of the room when he hears her voice again. "Gibbs?" He turns. "Do not mention this to the others. I want to tell them I am back myself."

He nods in response and walks out.


The case is short, and is resolved quite quickly with the hasty murderer behind bars. A marine was sleeping with another man's wife, and this man got mad. He took a gun, came up behind the marine as he was sleeping, and shot him. Then he shot his wife. The man tried to run, but the team caught up to him, with Tony making the final arrest. After everything is wrapped up, Gibbs lets the team go around eleven. He himself leaves the navy yard around midnight.

When he arrives at his house it is pitch black. He fumbles around in the dark for a few seconds before finding the light switch. He flips the living room light on and makes his way to the kitchen. He opens the fridge, expecting to see the same empty sight he always sees. Instead, he finds a Tupperware container full of spaghetti with a note that says FOR GIBBS in the blocky handwriting that could only belong to one person. He smiles, and then plops the spaghetti on a plate in the microwave. He stands by the counter and waits for the ding. When it comes, he takes the spaghetti out and eats alone at the table. He's in the middle of a bite of spaghetti when he hears a scream.

He's out of his chair and up the stairs to her room in a flash. She's tossing and turning, and as he walks into the room she screams again. This time, she shoots up in bed. She woke herself up.

"Ziva, what's wrong?"

She's crying, and looks almost completely broken. He isn't sure if she is fully aware of what's going on, and he doesn't want to cause her to panic.

Gingerly, he sits down on the very edge of the bed. He debates whether saying something will cause more harm than good, when a memory seizes him. "Ziva, when Kelly was a little girl she would have nightmares. She always woke up screaming, and her mother and I didn't know what to do about it. Finally, one of Shannon's coworkers suggested something that worked on her own kids." Ziva sits up in bed and wipes the tears out of her eyes. She quickly pulls herself together, and Gibbs watches as the mask she always wears comes down over her face.

"What did you guys do?"

"We started asking Kelly what her dreams were about. It was usually little stuff. She dreamed that her favorite doll grew really big and started chasing her around. Or she would dream that Shannon or I would be kidnapped, and that we were never coming back to her. Eventually, we came up with a system. First, we would ask her what her dream was about and have her tell us about it in as much detail as she could. Then, we would do whatever we had to to get her to recognize that her dream wasn't real."

Ziva pulls her knees up to her chest and rests her head on them. "You must have been a good father."

Gibbs sighs, and gets lost in old memories. After a moment, he pulls himself back to reality. "I like to think I did what I could. But it was never enough. Never enough for that beautiful little girl."

They sit in quiet for a few moments before Ziva speaks again. "I have been having this dream for a long time. I dream that I am standing at the airport as Tony boards to leave. It feels so real. I am imagining him getting on the plane, and I watch as the plane takes off. And I always, always turn away right before the explosion. And I always turn back to see a ball of flames. And I do not understand. When I wake up, I know he is fine. I know that I am being irrational. But the dream Will Not Go Away." She says the last part through gritted teeth, and Gibbs can feel the frustration coming off of her in waves, almost as real as heat off the flames of a fire.

"There's only one solution." She looks up at him. "Ziva, you need to see him. That's the only way the dreams will stop."

She stares back at her knees as he leaves the room to make a call.

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I really appreciate the help. Even constructive criticism.