KM: So... how's it goin'?

N: I'm still hiding.

R: And I'm still searching!

N: Look harder.

R: I have no idea why Engie even wanted you...

KM: Ouch, that was a low blow...

N: ...what did you just say?

R: You heard m- *N tackles R through a random, open doorway; a fight is heard*

KM: *sigh*... well, I'll have to go clean this shit up. Don't worry! They'll be best friends before you know it!

N&R: NO WE WON'T!

KM: Yes you will! I'm the author! Anything I say, goes! *marches out of the room to break up the fight* ...and right now, I say SHUT THE FUCK UP!


Do not own Naruto or TF2


Naruto kept running.

Where to, was he running? No one knew, not even him.

It didn't matter, he just had to get away from those people.

"Naruto!" He heard his father yell for him somewhere in the base.

...could he even call that man a father after this?

He kept running, running until he saw a window that had been carelessly left open.

He quickly climbed out, not noticing the small box with a flashing red light...

...

..

.

*One of the window alarms has just been triggered. I suspect that Naruto has managed to make it outside...* The Administrator informed over the team's earpieces.

"SHIT!" Dell yelled out, as he bolted to the nearest exit.

*Engie, dude, why are ya so worked up about this? I mean, the kid'll be fine! He'll come back in the mornin', and you can explain-* Scout started, before Engineer cut him off.

*Right now, he is in tha Neutral zone. If he was t' git stuck out there, or, God forbid, BLU gets ahold of him, he is in danger. He don't have a respawn chip like you n' I do! He could DIE out there, and NOTHIN' WILL BRING HIM BACK! AND I'LL BE DAMMED IF I LET MA CHILD DIE BECAUSE 'A ME AGAIN AFTER-* The station suddenly went silent.

*E-engie?*

*Just find him... please...* The Engineer sounded close to crying.

There was a pause.

*YOU HEARD THE TOYMAKER! GET MOVING, MAGGOTS!* Soldier screamed into the earpiece.

*We will find leetle boy!*

*Git goin' wankas!*

*Mmmph-hmmm!*

*Let's DO IT!*

*...merde, if you insist...*

*Fine.*

*What-ev's, Hardhart...*

...

..

.

Naruto stumbled over a stray rock, but managed to keep himself upright and moving.

He needed to get away.

A cactus thorn managed to get lodged in Naruto's foot, but he pulled it out and trudged on.

He needed to hide.

He fell to the ground, and braced himself against the shoe in front of-wait...

...shoe?

Naruto slowly looked up to see the shocked face of the loudmouth from earlier, except he was wearing blue instead of red.

"When did you change your shirt?" Naruto asked, rubbing his eyes from crying.

"Dude, how the hell did ya get here?!" Naruto scoffed.

"Tou-san already told you all. The spinny, red 'teleporter' thingy..."

"Red?" Naruto nodded, then froze.

If tou-san was working for RED, and wore red, then this person who was wearing blue...

"I think I'm gonna introduce ya to my team, kid." The stranger said with a twisted smirk.

Naruto, thinking fast, quickly threw dirt in the man's face before bolting off in a random direction.

"Ya lil' shit; get back here!"d

...

..

.

"NARUTOOOO!" Dell yelled out. "NARUTO!" He stumbled over a stray bush, almost falling to his knees. "Dammit! How far could he have gotten 'n such a short time?!"

A high pitched yelp pierced the night, causing several RED heads to snap in the direction of the noise.

*Sounded like leetle Scout...* Heavy said.

*Wasn't me, fatty!*

*Stop calling Heavy fat!*

*You are, though!*

*SILENCE! I will not sit here and listen to you two squabble like children!* The Administrator yelled. *RED, make your way towards the sound's origin.*

"Ya lil' shit; Get back here!"

*It's the BLU Scout!* Sniper warned. *I can see'im chasin' after something through m'scope! He's outside the boundaries of the map!*

...

..

.

The BLU Scout growled angrily.

After being led outside 2Fort's boundaries, he lost the little twerp somewhere in between the boulders dotting the landscape and the crevices defining it.

Luckily, he still had his earpiece on.

*Yo fellas! I got this kid that came from RED on the run!*

*Scout, if zhis is anozher one of your pranks-*

*IT'S NOT! Kid's got yellow hair, and he called someone on RED his 'tou-san', whatever da hell that means...*

*'Tou-san', eh? ...Gentlemen, zhis enfant just became our primary target.*

*Well, yeah... but, we're in ceasefire righ' now...* the BLU Engineer reminded them.

*Then don't use your guns. Any ozher stupid questions?* Silence was the Spy's response. *Then find him.*

...

..

.

The chase for Naruto went on through the night, RED and BLU slowly converging into the middle until they ended up face to face. RED stood in a straight line, with BLU mirroring them, both teams in a silent staredown.

"Well now, what would RED be doing out on such a night as zhis?" The BLU Spy broke the silence.

"We could ask you zhe same question." RED Spy countered.

"Scout was out for a late-night jog, when he discovered something... interesting... wandering about the battlefield. It was only natural zhat zhe rest of us came to investigate."

"I swear, if you touch one hair on his head-"

"What on earth are you talking about, Monsieur Engineer?"

"Don't play stupid with me, Spah! Where is he?!"

"Who is zhis 'he'? Your son?" Dell went white as a ghost, while the rest of BLU gasped.

"H-how did you-"

"I didn't; you just told me." Dell snapped, and he rushed the BLU Spy, murder clear in his eyes. He grabbed the Frenchman's collar and pulled the masked face up close to his own, so that they were staring each other dead in the eyes.

"Let's get somethin' straight, pal. You are gonna go back to your base, and you're gonna leave Naruto alone, or so help me God I will send ya straight ta Hell!" The BLU smirked.

"I think not." A knife plunged itself straight into Dell's heart. He gasped for breath, and stumbled back in pain. RED rushed forward, trying to save their comrade.

"ENGIE! YOU SICK, COMMIE-"

"Ve are in a ceasefire! Vhat do you sink you are doing?!"

"You all know as well as I zhat he-" Spy broke off, suddenly noticing the child staring at the fallen Engineer.

"T-tou-san?" the boy whispered. He slowly stumbled forward in a daze, almost as if he wasn't believing what he was seeing.

"Ficken..." Medic breathed. "Run. Run now!"

And everything went to hell.

...

..

.

The Administrator finally got her cameras surrounding 2Fort online. They had sat there, unused for who knows how long, so there was a bit of a slow start to rebooting them. It didn't help matters that she lost all contact to RED, due to them leaving the boundaries of 2Fort.

The first screen flashed on, showing nothing but desert.

The second showed the same, except a stray lizard wandered by.

The third was when things got interesting.

Explosions sounded throughout the desert, the scream of RED and BLU mercenaries accompanying them. In the midst of it all, a blur dashed back and forth, roaring in absolute fury.

"This is just what I need tonight..." she sighed. She quickly pressed a few buttons on her desk, which activated the extra satellite dishes she prepped for situations outside of the bases.

"Calling all mercs. Does anyone read me?"

*Ms.- *** -strator! Naruto has- ***** -rampage after Engineer- **** -by tha BLU Spy! The boy's turned int' a- **** -and we can't git through ta him!* RED Demo managed to respond. She didn't get everything, due to some interference, but she got the gist of it.

Naruto had gone into a jinchuuriki rampage.

"Demo, where is Engineer now?"

*Respawn still 'as 'im, ma'am! He'll be out in aboot- **** -minutes!*

"How long?"

*He'll be out in-* The signal completely cut off.

"Demo? Demo, do you read me? I repeat, do you read me?" ...Silence. "Is there anyone who can read me?!"

*Madame... might I ask what zhe hell is going on?!* It was the BLU Spy, this time.

"You tell me, I don't have cameras outside 2Fort that are showing me anything relevant to our current situation."

*Zhat boy... he saw me stab zhe Engineer, and he-*

"I hope you remember you were in ceasefire, correct?"

*Of course I know zhat! All I knew was zhat zhe boy was valuable to RED, so BLU could have use for him in zhat regard! And you know exactly how we Spies operate...*

"...I'll let it slide this once. Do it again, with or without a valid reason, and you will be replaced."

*...I'm razzer surprised we are having zhis discussion at zhis moment...*

"I have the time for it. Now, what. Is. Happening?"

*I DON'T KNOW! Zhat boy watched me stab zhe Engineer, and zhere was zhis energy exuding from him. It looked like Medic's Medi-gun, but it felt... wrong. Like it was sickening...*

"Alright, listen to me. Gather BLU and bring them to the emergency teleporter that leads to Dustbowl. You need to leave 2Fort as soon as possible, do you understand?"

*Oui, madame, but...*

"No argument. I will do my best to explain what is happening at a... later date... but you must evacuate immediately."

*Understood.* The connection ceased. She sighed heavily, and put her head in her hands.

*Administrator, what's goin' on out there?* She snapped to attention, and quickly called back.

"Engineer, are you out of Respawn?"

*Yes, ma'am. Goddang Spy tried ta stab me while I was-*

"I know what happened to you already. Now listen to me, Naruto has gone on a rampage after seeing you die in front of him."

*...fuck.*

"My thoughts exactly. I've ordered BLU to evacuate immediately, seeing as they were the source of the problem. I need you to inform any of your team leaving Respawn that they are to use the emergency teleporter and go to Dustbowl. In light of these recent events, however, I need you to get through to Naruto."

*I understand. However, I'll need Spy ta git someone fer me...*

*I heard my name. How may I be of assistance?*

*Spy, head down t' tha teleporter I came out of earlier today; ya know, the one I used t'git home? I'll need ya t' use it and go find tha Hokage. Before ya leave, take the collar 'n ear attachments on ma workbench; that'll give ya the means t' communicate with 'em."

*Understood. And, just so I know I'm talking to the right person, what does the Hokage look like?*

*Trust me, you'll know when ya see 'im...*

...

..

.

The teleporter ceased it's spinning, and Spy stepped off the platform lightly, only to find a knife in his face.

"Who are you?!" The old man holding said knife demanded angrily. "Why are you here?!"

"Monsieur Conagher sent me," Spy replied evenly, showing not a ounce of fear. The knife slowly lowered.

"And why is it so important that he'd send someone else?" Spy's mouth twitched into the smallest grimace.

"Well... he told me to tell you zhat Naruto has... well..." The Hokage's face lost all color.

"Dear Kami, no..."

...

..

.

"NARUTO!" Dell screamed. A head snapped into his direction, the eyes that once belonged to a young boy burning into the RED's soul. "PLEASE, STOP THIS!"

Naruto had transformed into something from a nightmare. Fox ears sprouted from his head, along with four tails out of his back, everything pulsing with an red glow. That wouldn't have been so bad, if his skin wasn't a red and black, pulsing pattern.

Naruto roared in fury, not recognizing Dell for some reason. Red and blue balls of some sort of energy, which Dell assumed to be chakra, started seeping out of Naruto's pores and floated away. Naruto opened his jaws wide, and the balls quickly converged in front of it, turning into one larger, purple sphere. The ball began to shrink and, randomly, Naruto's mouth opened wide and engulfed the ball completely. His cheeks suddenly puffed up, and, opening his mouth wide, fired a beam of pure energy

"BIJUU-DAMA!"

"Oh... that ain't good..." Dell mumbled as sure death sailed towards him.

"UGOKU! (MOVE!)" A figure appeared out of nowhere in front of him, wielding a strange staff. The staff was spun at a high speed, comparable to helicopter blades, which managed to reflect and divert the ray into the sky above, where it exploded. When the resulting dust cloud disappeared, Dell realized his savior was none other than the Hokage.

"Anata wa nani o kangaete ita, jinoyōni Naruto o irete taizai?! (What were you thinking, staying put with Naruto like this?!)" Hiruzen yelled. Dell struggled to respond.

"Makeru... eri... (Lose... collar...)" Hiruzen 'tsk'-ed in response, and waved his hand at Dell.

"Iku! (Go!)" Dell didn't move.

"Segare! (My son!)" Hiruzen considered just knocking the man out and tossing him away, but sighed in defeat.

"Kono soto ni taizai! (Stay out of this!)" Sarutobi formed a hand-seal, making four clones of himself appear. They quickly scattered into a square area surrounding Hiruzen and Naruto, and formed the Snake seal before clapping their hands.

"Shishienjin!" Four walls of purple energy rose up, completely trapping the two combatants within. Dell remained outside, awed by the technique. He reached forward, wanting to see what it felt like.

"Te o furenaide kudasai! (Don't touch!)" One of the four clones shouted from his position. Dell raised his hands defensively, and backed away slowly.

Now, it was the Bijuu's rematch with the Hokage.

...

..

.

"Naruto... if you can hear me, please... stop what you are doing. We are here, and you are safe. No one can hurt you now." Naruto roared in response, and sent two of his tails to attack. Sarutobi expertly avoided them, and got in close with Enma in his grip.

"Sarutobi... are you sure this is the time for soft words?" Enma asked skeptically.

"No... I guess I'm just holding onto the hope that he can break free... It's worth a shot, rather than just outright fighting him."

"You have a point there..." Hiruzen appeared right in front of Naruto, Enma poised to crack the boy's skull. Naruto dodged, and swiped with his claws, nearly taking off Sarutobi's arm. The two went back and forth, lunging for an attack, then dodging or deflecting the rebuke. Naruto back-flipped away from a leg strike, ending up out of Enma's length, but the Monkey King simply expanded until Naruto was eating dirt.

"GRAB HIM!" Sarutobi yelled out. Enma quickly release his True Henge, after shrinking himself to Naruto's location, and grappled the rampaging jinchuuriki so that the boy's chest was exposed to Hiruzen. The Hokage's fingers on his right hand lit up with a purple fire, and he rushed forward before planting them into the boy's original sealing matrix.

"Gogyō Fūin!" Sarutobi cried, his fingers arranged into a pentagram. Naruto stiffened, his body racking in pain, before the cloak slowly dissipated leaving an exhausted Naruto in the arms of the monkey.

"Ji...ji..." Naruto whispered, before passing out.

"NARUTO!" Dell cried from outside the barrier.

"Kai!" Sarutobi cried, releasing his four clones and the barrier at the same time. Dell immediately ran forward to take Naruto from Enma.

"Musuko... daijōbu? (Son... okay?)" Dell asked worriedly. Sarutobi nodded as Enma returned to the Summons' Dimension. "Yoi...kuru. (Good... come.)"

"Dokoikuno? (Where are we going?)" Hiruzen asked.

"...Mitsuke ru... chīmu... (...Find... team...)(1)"

...

..

.

The Administrator sighed in relief, seeing that the newcomer (who she assumed was the Hokage) was able to quell Naruto's rampage.

Of course, now that he was here, perhaps an alliance was coming sooner than expected...

...

..

.

Dell ran into his workshop, at speeds that almost lost the Hokage in the father's desperation. Dell hurried to a red button attached to the wall, and slammed it into activation. A secret door opened in the corner, revealing a small room with a teleporter. Dell turned on his comm.

"Testing... testing... RED, do you read? This is RED Engineer, I repeat, do you read?"

*ENGIE! WHAT DA HELL HAPPENED TO YA, MAN?!* Scout's obnoxious voice blared into Dell's skull.

"Nice t'... hear from ya too, boy... Now, where's Medic at?"

*Right here, Herr Engineer. Tell me, what is the status at 2Fort?*

"Spy managed t' pull through, and bring th' Hokage over t' stop Naruto."

"You say zhat like you expected different." Dell whirled around to see Spy de-Cloaking right beside the Hokage, who hadn't even flinched. "...intéressant..." Spy noted.

"He's a shinobi; I'll bet he's had countless people do that t'im on a daily basis..." Dell reminded him. "Now then, Doc, Naruto's in bad shape, so be prepared ta take him."

*Understood. I vill be avaiting your arrival.* Cutting the connection to Medic, Dell looked pointedly at Spy.

"Ah, yes." Spy quickly removed his interpreters, and handed them to Dell, who handed them to the Hokage.

"Haku. (Wear.)" Dell requested, to which the elder complied without argument.

"Eh-hem. Is this working?" Sarutobi asked. Dell gave him a thumbs-up.

"Workin' perfectly, sir! Now then, our team has already gone on ahead, so we're playin' catch-up. You two go on ahead with Naruto; I've got one last thing ta take care of..." Both men nodded, and, after handing Naruto to the Fire Shadow(2), they vanished in a flash of red. Dell turned to see another teleporter, glowing as it spun automatically.

"Can't leave tha Hokage without a way home..." Dell muttered as he condensed the machine.

...

..

.

"How's he doin', Doc?" Medic sighed.

"Whatever he vas doing out zhere... vas not good. Zhe form he took, zhat... energy surrounding him, it put his body in a constant state of injury."

"You mean, he was dyin'?!"

"No! No, his body vas constantly being damaged by zhe energy, but it vould heal zhe injury at zhe same time. It vas in a cycle of damage and reconstruction."

",,,what's the 'bad part' 'n all of this?"

"I'm getting to zhat, Herr Engineer..." Medic replied, annoyed. "Now zhen, do you know how your body heals injuries on it's own?" Dell was stumped for a moment.

"The cells divide themselves." Both men turned to face the Hokage, shock clear on their faces. "What? We may not be as technologically advanced, but we do know basic biology!" Medic cleared his throat.

"Yes, anyvays, cells divide to heal injuries. Zhey also divide while growing up, allowing zhe body to grow vith the extra cells. However, cells do not just divide forever; zhere is a certain number of times a single cell may divide during a person's life. If a cell is forced to multiply twice in a day, instead of the usual once a day, that cell has just lost a day of it's entire lifespan."

"So, what you're saying, is that Naruto's entire lifespan..."

"-Has been shortened, yes."

"Any ideas?" Medic thought for a moment.

"Vell... he vasn't in zhat form for very long, but all zhe cells were dividing..." He walked over to a chalkboard set up in the Infirmary, and starting writing out calculations. "...seven years old...constant regrowth...about an hour...Körpermasse ist... I'd say he lost about five years of his life." Dell blinked.

"...is that all?"

"Yes, zhat is all." Dell breathed a sigh of relief.

"Whoo! With the way y'all were carryin' on, I thought he wouldn't live ta see twenty!" Medic pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation.

"You do not understand zhe gravity of the situation, Herr Engineer!" Medic raised his voice. "One hour in zhat form, and he lost five years of his life. If he vas to do it again, Naruto vould probably only live to be eighty. If he did it for three hours, he'd live to seventy. Five hours, and Naruto would not pass sixty years of age. ...need I continue?" Dell swallowed.

"Naw, I... I think ya made yer point..."

"Ve must prevent Naruto from accessing zhat energy for anyting ozzer zhan zhe most dire of emergencies, and even zhat should be discouraged!" Dell frowned sadly, and looked over at the still-sleeping form of his son.

"Other th'n that, how's Naruto holdin' up?"

"He's perfectly healthy... and I don't GET IT!" Medic suddenly roared. "Nothing zhat he vent through would put zhe necessary strain on him to leave him in zhis small coma!"

"Actually, I believe I know what's wrong here..." Hiruzen interrupted. "...he has a case of Chakra Overload(3)." Dell scratched his head, while Medic looked rather confused.

"'Chakra Overload'? Is it like Chakra Exhaustion?" Hiruzen nodded.

"Slightly. Think of it as the opposite, where, instead of the body not having enough chakra, it has too much in it. Right now, with his tenketsu locked up, that chakra cloak was seen just underneath his skin, visible from the outside, but unable to escape. Honestly... I still don't understand how he was able to perform the Bijuu Dama that I saved you from, Dell, but that doesn't matter. Right now, his body is filled to the brim with chakra, and there is no way for it to escape."

"So, what do we do?" Hiruzen sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I don't know... there is no record of this happening before in the history of the Nations... Hopefully, his body will slowly absorb the chakra, but that could take awhile. The only other hope is that Kyuubi will do something, but that's a slim chance..." His face seemed to age the more he stared at Naruto's prone body.

"...all we can do is wait."

...

..

.

During this interesting conversation between the three men, Naruto was having an adventure, of sorts.

He had woken up to find he was in a sewer... yes, he had experience with sewers before; let's not delve too deep into it, shall we?

Anyways, this sewer was weird, because it had this dark red tint to it, and the pipes running through it were all glowing blue.

All except one. The weird one was glowing red. It also looked to be ready to burst open, from the sheer pressure of... whatever was inside of it.

He had nothing better to do, so he decided to follow the weird pipe, to see where it would take him.

(Skipping past Naruto's lengthy and rather boring trek through the sewers)

He came to a room that was looked big enough to fit all of Konoha inside of it, and have room for another Hidden Village. At the back, however, was the most interesting part of it.

There was a set of large bars, stretching from the floor to the ceiling.

It looked like a jail.

Naruto, in all his infinite wisdom, decided to walk right up to the bars and peek inside.

"HellOOOOOOO!" Naruto called to the inside of the cage. The was a shuffling sound from deep within.

"Foolish ningen..." a deep baritone muttered. Naruto's hair stood up on end, and he hightailed it away from the cage.

Lucky that he did, because a clawed hand smashed the ground where he was standing previously.

"The hell was that for?!" Naruto demanded.

"You woke me from my nap, you brat!" the voice roared. A figure slowly walked it's way into the light, to reveal the Kyuubi no Kitsune.

"You..." Naruto breathed. The fox smirked.

"Yes... you seem to know who I am."

"You're the Kyuubi!"

"What gave it away, hmmm? The fact that I'm a giant fox? Or that I have nine tails?" came the sarcastic reply. Naruto's eyes quickly wandered to see... yup, nine tails waving about lazily behind the monster.

"So... I guess you've been here for a while, huh?" Naruto asked, sitting down cross-legged. Kyuubi scoffed.

"Why do you care? It's not like you'd ever release me." Naruto frowned in anger.

"Of course I wouldn't! You would destroy my new friends!" The fox quirked an eyebrow in amusement.

"'New friends'? Well, this is quite the development, isn't it?"

"So don't get any ideas on escaping! You're staying right here!"

"'Escaping'? Why would I do that, when I can simply overload you with my chakra?" Naruto tilted his head in confusement.

"What?"

"Oh, you didn't know? Well, you were drawing quite a bit of my chakra out a few minutes ago. Whether or not you already killed your friends... that remains to be seen."

"Y-you made me attack them?" The Kyuubi let out a snarl.

"I did nothing! You were the one who decided to steal my chakra from me! It's all your FAULT!"

"SHUT UP! I'D NEVER HURT TOU-SAN!" The fox frowned, confused.

"'Tou-san'? But... I killed your father..." Instantly, Naruto was on top of Kyuubi's snout, staring at him in the eyes.

"You know who my father is?" A paw came down to slap away Naruto, who flew almost to the end of the room.

"Little pest... Even if I did, why would I tell?" A smirk grew on his face. "A kistune likes his secrets." Naruto huffed, annoyed, as he picked himself up. Surprisingly, he wasn't injured at all.

"Fine. I'll just figure it out myself."

"As much as I'd like to continue this wonderful conversation... we have a problem."

"What is it?"

"Tell me, has anything happened to you recently that would prevent my chakra from escaping your body?"

"Other than your jail?" A snarl.

"Don't toy with me, ningen!" Naruto struck a thinking pose.

"Ummm... well, someone sealed me so that I couldn't use chakra again. Is that it?" Kyuubi froze. "Um, Kyuubi?"

"How did they seal you?" came the quite reply. Naruto, in response, pulled off his shirt and showed his back to the fox. "This... this is beyond despicable... I can't even fathom what soul would attempt branding a seal into a person..."

"Well, fathom away, fox. This is what happens." Kyuubi hummed as he thought.

"Well, this is the cause right here. Apparently, this seals up all the tenketsu in your body. My chakra isn't leaving, because it has no place to go."

"Can you bring it all back in to you?"

"I can try... but why bother?" Naruto face-vaulted.

"WHAT?!"

"It'll be more fun to see you suffer! BWAHAHAHA!" Kyuubi roared with laughter. Naruto growled in fury.

And, of course, things took a sour turn.

Kyuubi's eyes opened slightly during his hysterics, and he immediately shut up.

"Uh, kid?"

"What?" Naruto snarled out.

"You have some... interesting new features." He motioned with his claw for Naruto to turn his head. Naruto's head slowly swiveled until he was looking right behind him.

"WHAT THE-"

...

..

.

"-FUCK IS HAPPENING TO HIM?!" Dell yelled. All three men stared in shock as three, fluffy, fox tails grew out of Naruto's tail-bone.

"Is zhis a side-effect of the demon's chakra inside of him?!" Medic asked. Hiruzen could only shake his head in wonder.

"I... I have no idea..."

...

..

.

Kyuubi went into another bout of laughter as he watched Naruto freak out over his new appendages.

Naruto, meanwhile, had declared this (officially) as the worst day of his life.

...

..

.

(Three Days Later...)

Naruto's eyes opened slowly to see Dell sitting on a chair next to whatever bed he was laying on.

"Tou-sa-" Naruto broke off, remembering Dell's words from that night.

Dell, meanwhile, perked up the moment he heard Naruto's voice.

"Naruto! You're awake!"

"Yeah... what happened while I was out?" Dell grimaced slightly.

"Ah, well... you have, erm..."

"Oh, yeah. Those." Dell seemed surprised.

"You knew already?"

"Yeah... sprouted out of my back while I was talking with the fox. Gave me a huge-"

"You were talking with the Kyuubi?!" Dell demanded. Naruto's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah. The Kyuubi." Dell flinched at the venom in the child's voice.

"A-are you-"

"I just have one question for you." Dell steeled himself.

"Okay, shoot."

"Did you even WANT ME?! OR WAS THAT ANOTHER AGREEMENT IN YOUR 'ALLIANCE'?!" Dell sat there, slack-jawed, as he processed Naruto's question.

"Wh-what?"

"I heard you that night; saying how you adopted me after Jiji told you to! Did you. Even. Want me?"

"Of course I did! Ma entire life, I dreamed 'a havin' children of ma own! After ma wife died... well, I was immediately taken in by RED, so there wasn' time for me t' find someone else, or adopt a child of ma own. And then you jus'... showed up, righ' out'a th' blue. And then, I met you and you were just so kind 'n I saw all the bad things they did t'ya and I wanted t' get you away from that place... by any means necessary. When your Hokage offered me th' chance t' adopt'ya, it was like a second chance fer me. You were the best decision I made in all ma life." Naruto's eyes started watering, and he sniffled.

"I-I'm sorry, tou-san! It's just-" Dell quickly drew the boy in for a hug.

"You have nothin' t'be sorry for. I'm the one who should be sorry... I should've told you-"

"No. You... you were trying to protect me." Dell let out a small chuckle.

"'N here we are, tryin' t' apologize while the other won't let us." Naruto joined in on the laughter.

...

..

.

"So... you met the Kyuubi." Hiruzen stated. Naruto nodded slowly. "And... you grew three tails." Naruto pouted, but nodded again. "...did the Kyuubi explain why you grew tails?"

"Well... he said it was like getting fat." Sarutobi, Dell, and Medic face-vaulted. "More like, my body is compensating for the extra chakra. The three tails gives the extra chakra someplace to disperse to." Naruto sighed. "He also said that the tails aren't going away anytime soon; I can't release any chakra, and he's not gonna try to take it back in. If I ever drew on his power again, I'd most likely go into a coma in a best-case scenario..."

"And... in a worst-case scenario?" Hiruzen asked hesitantly.

"I'd die."

"The good news is that is no longer the case." Naruto tilted his head in confusion.

"How so?"

"The seal I used to stop you, the Gogyō Fūin, will prevent you from accessing his chakra anymore. I was hoping that you would also no longer be able to contact the fox, but I guess I didn't apply enough chakra to it..." Hiruzen mused. "In any case, you're healthy and safe. That's what's important here." Naruto nodded, grinning all the while. "I believe I shall take my leave; the village won't run itself!" He chuckled at his own joke, and stepped on the nearby teleporter before vanishing in a flash of light. Naruto suddenly remembered something.

"WAITAMINUTE! I saw you die! Why are you still alive?!" Naruto accused, pointing a finger at Dell. Dell blinked.

"Didn't I explain Respawn to ya?" Naruto slowly shook his head 'no'. "Oh. Well, our job requires that we remain... breathing... throughout the remainder of our contract."

"Meaning..." Dell simply pulled out a pistol and shot Medic right in the skull, who fell to the floor stone-dead. Naruto yelped in shock, and scooted away from his adoptive father.

"Vat the hell vas zhat for?!" Medic demanded, storming back into the room from the hallway. Naruto's eyes widened, looking back and forth between the spot where Medic's corpse was laying, and the living, breathing Medic standing right in front of him.

"We literally can't die out there." Naruto's eyes grew wide. "And soon, you won't be able to die either."

"W-what?!"

"I ain't lettin' you out there until I'm sure you're ready! That includes makin' sure you're hooked up t' tha Respawn!" Dell stated, in a 'father-voice'.

"Alright... so, when do I get to meet your team?!" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Vell, ve can start. Guten Tag, I am zhe Medic of this team, and you vill call me 'Medic'." Naruto nodded.

"Alright... nice to meet you, Mr. Medic!" Naruto smiled widely, and Medic couldn't help a small grin himself. Naruto hopped off the cot, and stretched his arms. "Tou-san, I'm gonna go explore, okay? I wanna see the base!" Dell hesitated for a moment.

"Just... don't go outside, 'kay? And if any of th' others bother you..." Here, he pulled a wrench out of nowhere and smacked his hand with it threateningly. "...you let me know, alright?" Naruto nodded happily, before dashing out of the room. Dell sighed happily as he stared at the door Naruto went through.

"Don't even think about experimentin' on him, ya hear?" Dell warned amicably.

"Trust me, I vouldn't dream of such a thing."

...

..

.

Naruto smiled to himself as he wandered the halls.

So far, he met five of the others: Heavy, Pyro, Demo, Soldier, and Sniper.

Heavy was really nice to him, and was fun to be around. He noticed Heavy was having trouble speaking the language, and asked why his tou-san didn't offer him a translator.

"Oh, Leetle Engie did! Didn't fit Heavy's neck, though..." Naruto laughed at that, and Heavy couldn't help but join in.

Demo was also really nice... except he seemed to always be drunk. Naruto was talking with the man, when he just passed out right in front of the boy.

That was when he met Sniper.

"Ummm, does he do this often?" Naruto asked as the hatted man walked by. Sniper glanced down at the passed out drunk, and nodded.

"It's a cycle; he'll get up in tha morning, get drunk, 'n do it all over 'gain."

Naruto quickly introduced himself to the man after that. Sniper was okay to Naruto, just a little quieter than the others. Still, he seemed likable, so Naruto planned on getting the Sniper out of his little shell.

Pyro was next. The person was... a mystery. He had no idea if it was a guy or a girl, and they acted rather immature for their age. Of course, Naruto seemed to have found himself a new best friend, and they quickly made plans to play together sometime.

Finally, was Soldier. Naruto was quickly put into interrogation on what he liked about America, but, unfortunately, he had no idea what an 'America' was.

Then Soldier started ranting about how Naruto was a Japanese Commie (whatever the hell that meant), and threatened him to never attack his team again.

"I never wanted to attack you in the first place!" Naruto argued. "That blue guy in the mask killed my father in front of me!"

"EXCUSES!" Soldier roared back. "I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU, MAGGOT!" With that, the helmeted man marched off, leaving a stunned and confused Naruto behind.

So, other than that last bit, he had a good time so-

Naruto fell to the ground, after running into something that he couldn't see.

"Ah, forgive me enfant." Naruto watched, amazed, as a man in a red mask appeared out of thin air.

"Wow! How did you do that?!" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Zhat would be telling, wouldn't it?" he replied amusedly. Naruto pouted.

"Fine, be that way..." He perked up suddenly, and bowed to the man. "My name is Naruto! What's yours? Or, well, your class title?" The man smirked slightly.

"I am zhe Spy. I have to admit zhat I am razzer... interested in you." Naruto looked at the man warily.

"Really?" Spy nodded.

"You come from a place zhat was off zhe map for centuries. You have zhat strange chakra inside of you. And, you are zhe jailor of a demon." Naruto shivered slightly.

"Don't remind me..."

"Where are your tails?" Naruto was shocked. Hadn't he been hiding them this entire time? How could Spy- "It's my job to know zhe little things that go on in zhis base. Don't think you won't be studied; zhe Administrator wants details." Naruto frowned.

"So, you were in there the entire time? And you saw everything?" Spy chuckled.

"But of course! It's my job."

"So, why haven't you told the others?"

"Because I understand zhat you will be part of zhis team someday. I would razzer my colleagues trust you, zhan have zhem against you. Just remember: you cannot hide zhis forever."

"I know that! I just don't think it would be smart for them to meet me while I've got three tails sticking out of my back!" Spy considered this, then smirked again.

"You are a very interesting child... I shall take my leave, as we have an audience." Naruto's stomach dropped. As the Spy vanished yet again, Naruto slowly turned to see the loudmouth standing behind him, shocked.

"Tails?!" Naruot sighed, and pulled up his shirt so that his tails were floating behind him.

"Yeah... side effect from what happened that night..." The runner snorted.

"What a joke... can't believe the Admin just let'cha walk right in'ta the team." He sauntered forward, swagger evident in his walk, until he was looking down at Naruto. "Let's get somethin' straight, pal: you're nothin' on this team. You're a joke. Hardhat 'n the others don't see it, but I do: you're just a useless runt." Naruto remained stone-faced, keeping the man from seeing any emotion. "The name's Scout, squirt." Scout said as he walked away cockily. "And I'll make sure your trainin is hell tomorrow."

Naruto was alone in the middle of the hall.

He sniffed slightly, and rubbed his eyes free of tears. He quickly searched the base until he found the person he was looking for.

"Pyro... do you think we could go play now?"


N: Sooo... we're friends now?

P: I... guess?

KM: Yes. Yes you are.

N: Why?

KM: 'Cuz it's ADORABLE!

P: I am a goddammed mercenary! I'm not 'adorable'!

KM: Yes. Yes you are.

AN Time:

(1): Remember, Dell remembers very little of his Japanese. I'm actually surprised he knew this much...

(2): Literal translation

(3): Not sure if this is an actual thing in 'Naruto', but I thought it makes sense with Naruto's current... status

(4): Wait... did I have a fourth AN in this? ...I can't find it, and I'm running out of time...

In other news, I'm going to be posting a poll soon on what Naruto's class name should be! I already have the weapons, so don't bother... It'll be on my forum (which you can find by going to my Bio page), so VOTE VOTE VOTE

Until next chapter!

~ Kage Musha