Gibbs was sitting in his basement. It had now been two months since the evening when Jen had told him she had cancer. He had visited her at the hospital every day, he'd slept there every night, and he'd done anything to make sure she was satisfied. Every day he'd prayed she would be ok, that she would beat her cancer, every day he'd told her she was gonna be all right. But when he had talked to her doctors, he knew he was believing in something that would never happen, never be real. Jen was slowly slipping away from him, but that was something he just couldn't accept.

They had talked about a lot of things, both the past and the present. The past meant the most to Jen, the time when they had been a couple. Gibbs was usually quiet and listened to her when she'd talk about Paris, her memory of that time was better than his. And sometimes he'd even be surprised at something she said, something he still couldn't remember after the coma he'd been in. She'd smile at him when he told her he didn't remember.

This past week he condition had worsened, she was very weak and couldn't talk so much. He remembered a day like that; it had probably been the day before yesterday. That has been the moment he realized how he really felt for her.

It was in the afternoon when Gibbs entered the hospital. Jen's doctors knew perfectly well who he was by now and he just walked right into the room he knew was hers.

"Hi Jen" he said in a soft voice as he took of his coat and sat down on a chair next to her bed, the same chair he always sat in when he was there.

"Jethro" she greeted him, and smiled weakly at him. "I'm glad you're here"

"Me too" he replied as he took her hand in his, slowly stroking it with his fingertips.

"How are you today?" it was a question he asked her every day, and he was always afraid about what her answer might be.

"Not so good" she admitted. Gibbs felt a shiver up his spine, he didn't like it when she said that, it was exactly what she had told him yesterday. He didn't reply, just sat there, stroking her hand, with slow, loving movements. She didn't speak either, not until five minutes had passed.

"Talk to me, Jethro, because I don't have the strength to speak today" she begged.

"What do you want me to talk about, Jen?" he asked, he had trouble finding a subject she was interested in listening to. At first he had told her about stuff that was going on at NCIS, but she made it clear she wasn't interested in the cases he worked.

"I don't care. Anything, just not work" she said, and he smiled slightly, considering what he just had thought.

"I've finished my boat" he told her while trying to figure out something better to say.

"How did you find time for that? You've been with me so much…" she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"Honestly I don't know" he said with a little laugh "I named her 'Kelly'" he added, sounding more serious. Jen looked at him, and gave him a little nod.

"Do you remember when you became Director? When I told you I'd missed you? I just want you to know I meant it. From time to time during these years we've been apart I have been thinking a lot about you, and not as a friend. But when you came back into my life, at first I was glad to see you again, but then I noticed you'd changed. You weren't the Jen I used to know" he didn't know what had made him say that, but the look in her eyes made him continue, that sad look, the look she'd give him when she knew he was wrong.

"But now I've realized that when I came to that conclusion, I had looked at you as Director, and the reason I thought you had changed was because you had to be that way in order to run the agency, because you can't run an entire agency if you behave like a field agent" now she was looking at him in a way that told him he was getting closer to the truth.

"But now when I've spent so much time with you, I've realized you are the same Jen you were in Paris, the same personality. What I'm trying to say is that I know now that you're still the same Jen I fell in love with" and with those words of truth, he leaned closer to her, until his lips met hers in their first kiss in seven years.

Not so long after that confession, Jen fell asleep. Gibbs was sitting by her side, looking at her as she slept peacefully. This felt so right, the two of them together. The only problem being that she was dying. What had taken him so long to realize he was in love with her? When he thought about it, these feelings had been inside him all the time. What had he been afraid of? He had probably feared that she really had changed, that she no longer was who she had been. But he had known all along that she was still the same old Jen, the same Jen he had shared bed with, the same Jen he had been deeply in love with. And still was, because he had never stopped loving her.

Gibbs cell suddenly started to ring, forcing him to let go of the memory. He checked the caller id, it was from the hospital.

"Yeah, Gibbs?" he answered, listened to the nurse who was speaking before he hung up. He closed his eyes. The nurse had told him Jen was in critical condition, so he needed to get there fast. He jumped up from where he was sitting and practically ran up the stairs, in hurry to get to the hospital before it would be too late.

Outside it was raining; he drove the fastest he could to the hospital, where he met the nurse who had called in the hallway outside Jen's room. Wet from the pouring rain he forced himself to stop and talk to her.

"How is she?" he said breathlessly, his heart was beating fast. The nurse took a breath before she spoke.

"Bad, she might just have a couple of hours left…"

Gibbs didn't listen anymore; he just rushed into Jen's room. A nurse stood against the wall, watching over Jen.

"Jen, I'm here" he said as he was standing next to her. She looked up at him, she looked sad, though not afraid, she knew what was going to happen to her, and she had prepared herself for it.

"Jethro…" she whispered. He took her hand, trying to give comfort to both her and himself.

"Jen, I love you. And I am so sorry that I didn't realize it sooner. I should have. What I don't understand is why you had to be dying in order for me to realize it. It shouldn't have to be this way; you shouldn't have to die, not now, not like this. It is too soon. I will always love you Jen, for the rest of my life I will always love you" when he finished talking she gave him a little smile.

"I know. Will you sit with me until…" the word were caught in her throat; she couldn't bring herself to say the last words in her sentence.

"You know I will Jen" he promised as he sat down in his chair, still holding her hand tightly.

This wasn't fair. Why did she have to die? How could this be happening to her? She had known for a while now, though nobody had actually told her, that she was gonna die. Gibbs had told her everyday she would be ok, she had believed him at first, but then when he'd say it, she could tell from the tone in his voice that he wasn't so sure any longer.

"We would have made a nice couple Jen, again" Gibbs said out of nowhere.

"Yeah" was all she said to that. He started to talk about Paris, telling her how much he had loved being there with her. He talk about the first time he had seen her, something he thought he had forgotten after the coma, but suddenly it was there, as clear as it had happened yesterday.

"My first thought when I saw you was 'Wow, she's beautiful'"he told her and she smiled. He continued to talk about memories and how much they meant to him for about an hour, until she interrupted him.

"Jethro, I love you so much" she whispered weakly, she looked sad and he knew what was happening, Jen was going to leave him.

"Jen…" he breathed, not wanting her to go, not yet.

"Kiss me"

Gibbs leaned in and kissed her, it wasn't a deep kiss, but a kiss full of love and emotions. He moved away, looking deeply into her eyes.

"I love you too Jen. More than you could possibly imagine"

"I love you" she said, her last words before she closed her eyes. Gibbs felt her hand go limp in his own, and at that moment, he felt his heart break into a thousand pieces.

"No…no" he whispered before he bent down and left a kiss on her forehead, he squeezed her hand one last time before he walked to the door, there he stopped and looked back at her lying there, knowing she was dead, knowing he'd never hear her voice again, never kiss her again. He had lost her.

He walked out. A little further down in the hallway he saw the others; Ducky, Tony, Ziva, Abby and McGee. He had no choice but to walk past them on his way out, much as he wished to avoid them. But they had already seen him and started to walk towards him.

"Jethro, how's Jenny…" Ducky started saying, but he stopped himself at the look on his friends face. "Good Lord"

"She's gone" Gibbs said and pushed himself past them, walking towards the doors leading out from the hospital.

"My God, I can't believe it" Abby said sadly as she looked at Gibbs walking away. Tony looked like he was about to follow his boss, but Ducky put his hand on his shoulder, forcing him to stay put.

"Let him go Tony. He has just lost the woman he loves, let him grieve for Jenny" he said and Tony looked at his elderly friend.

"You think he was in love with her?" McGee asked.

"Yes, he was. I could tell" Abby answered the question for Ducky "Poor Gibbs, he doesn't deserve to go through this again"

Gibbs stepped out through the doors of the hospital, out into the pouring rain. Why had she been taken from him? That was a question he could ask himself everyday, but never find the answer. He would never forgive himself for not seeing how much he really loved her, not until it had been too late he had discovered his true feelings for her, which were stronger than he possibly could have imagined. If he had realized it sooner they could have gotten more time together. But even if he had realized it sooner, he would still have felt the same crushing grief when she died of the cancer. And if he hadn't realized his feeling for her when she was still alive, he sure would have when she passed away. It was hopeless.

He felt the raindrops mix with his tears as he turned his head towards the sky. He could swear that every raindrop falling was one of his tears. He stood there in the rain, wet from his own tears, the tears that were falling from heaven. He would never stop loving her.

The End

I know, it was really, really cruel of me to take Jen away from him, but that was kind of the point with my story, that she had to be dying in order for him to realize he was in love with her. I almost started crying myself when I wrote this. My other Jibbs stories will be a lot happier. Thanks for reading and please leave a review!!!!