Author's Note: Twilight and all it's characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Please keep in mind that this is my first fanfic and I'm not a native speaker. The song used is "Can't Go Back" by Rosi Golan.


Chapter 2: Dust

I don't wanna be a witness to a path that's overgrown
I don't wanna see this house not be a home
'Cause time has taken toll on what we couldn't see
No I don't wanna be a witness to the end of you and me

Chapter's Summary: Three month after "the incident".Bella experiences great heartache because of the Cullens absence. Sleeping at their old house she comes across a lot of interesting things.


Bella's POV

"Shit.."

I was totally lost. Who would think that a short walk through the woods could turn into a two-hour hike? In a futile attempt to find my way back home I fell over a rotten stub scraping my knee and possibly spraining my ankle. The rotten leafs were crushing under my boots and every time a twig snapped under my foot I nearly jumped out of my skin. It had been a rather nice winter's day when I started my little walk. With crisp air and a fine sheen of snow covering the grass in our backyard it seemed to be a friendly day, perfect for a short walk. But as soon as I entered the woods it seemed like all the light had been sucked away and without the sunlight it got cold pretty fast. Nevertheless I continued my walk.

It was the first time since that day that I set foot into these woods. Everything changed since this one day almost three month ago. Nothing felt the same anymore after Edward left. He took everything with him.. the pictures of us, his presents to me and even the CD that had been in my CD-player. It was like he was never even there. At some point I actually asked Charlie if he remembered my gorgeous boyfriend and his beautiful family. He had looked at me like I was going crazy. Honestly.. sometimes it felt like I was indeed losing my shit.

My lips started to feel sore from the cold and the snot that was constantly running out of my nose. Wiping away some of it with my mittens I turned around another corner. I just couldn't figure out if I was following an animal trail or actually the beaten track hikers often used to get to the beautiful clearing with the little pond. It was no use.. I was definitely lost in these fucking woods and there was no way telling how late it already was seeing that I effectively forgot my mobile at home. My feet told me that I walked for at least 5 hours but in my mind I knew that it hadn't been that long.

Suddenly a clearing came into view and I was almost hopeful. If I had indeed followed the beaten track I could follow it back home! But as I proceeded on my way it became clear to me that this clearing was nothing like the one with the little pond. It was bigger and wider and a little river was flowing right through it.

"A river... Somehow this river seemed really familiar."

As soon as that thought popped into my brain I spotted the big white mansion like home of my ex-boyfriend's family.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I cursed under my breath.

That's the last place I wanted to end up. I felt my heart ripping open again, tears springing into my eyes. It felt like I was in the middle of a black hole which slowly sucked all the life and joy out of me. It felt like a dementor had just shown up confronting me with my worst fears. Of course dementors weren't real... but so were vampires before I met them.

I thought I've had overcome those "wormhole days" like mom used to call them. For a little over two month I had been existing at most. Living and breathing but not much more. It scared the hell out of Charlie and apparently it scared away all of my friends. Even Angela Weber who used to be a good friend kept her distance nowadays but at least she tried longer than anybody else. Not even Jacob tried anymore after I broke down in front of him and screamed for about an hour before Charlie could comfort me and get me to shut up.

He had just mentioned the Cullen's name. Nothing more. But for the first to weeks that was enough to send me into a neurotic frenzy. Nobody understood how their departure affected me. It was like they took a part of me with them and where that part should have been was now a vicious scar that swallowed up everything if I didn't hold myself together. Some night I would wake up screaming, the terror still present in my eyes. My subconsciousness was spitting venom like a snake poisoning my dreams with imagines of the Cullens. In my dreams they looked down at me.. telling me that I was a feeble little human being that could never be anything but an evening snack for them.

Shaking off the thoughts of the last few month I wrapped my arms around myself. It was a habit I had developed when the "wormhole" was especially persistent. It gave me the feeling of holding myself together and whenever someone tried try pry my arm free it felt like my whole body would crumble. Holding myself together I made my way over to the beautiful house. From the outside it hadn't changed at all.. it stood there just as flawless and white as the day I've last seen it. Flawless and white just like its owners.

Only a moment ago I thought I was finally okay but now it seemed like the scar ripped open once again and everything hurt like the day they left me. Standing on the porch I tried to decide if I should really open that door just now. Maybe it was closed... most likely the house was empty and every way in locked. But maybe.. just maybe I would find my seven vampires inside and they would greet me like an old friend.

Slowly I reached for the doorknob my hand shaking, my breath coming in short shallow gasps. Panting I closed my hand around the knob and turned.

Nothing.

I tried again.

Nothing.

And again and again and again.

The door was locked.

With a huff I rounded the house in search for a possible way in. The backdoor was locked as well and the windows were covered with thick cardboard. It didn't seem like they were gone forever. More like they had been hasty in their departure and only used what was at hand to cover the windows. It looked a bit improvised to me and I found a window that was only halfheartedly covered with a thin layer of cardboard which was already rain-drenched and could easily be removed. Ripping at the soppy material I freed the window and looked inside. The whole furniture was covered with different kinds of blankets, cloths and covers. The next part of my breaking and entering was most likely going to hurt. I carefully wrapped my hand into my scarf and prepared for the pain.

"Ouch!" I whined at the searing pain in my knuckles. Breaking a window wasn't as easy as the movies made it look. I hadn't even cracked the glass. Well that only left one other option and I wasn't so keen on spraining my elbow as well. But was there really any other option? In about an hour it would be dark outside and I was not going to walk all the way home through a pitch black forest! Bracing myself again I rammed my elbow into the glass and luckily this time it broke.

I laughed silently at the irony. Isabella Marie Swan, daughter of the towns Chief of Police was breaking and entering into the house of her ex-boyfriend. Yeah certainly not something I wanted to see in our local newspapers. Reaching through the little hole I broke into the glass I managed to unlock the window and open it so I could climb through.

The interior of the house smelled like dust and broken dreams. I could still smell their beautiful scents lingering in every corner. I half expected Alice to skip down the stairs and crush me in one of her bone breaking hugs. I could almost hear Emmett's booming laughter and Esme chastising everyone for their foul language. Walking around the room I pulled off the blankets that covered the furniture and watched as little fluffs of dust danced through the air. Trying one of the light switches I found that the electricity wasn't working anymore. Pretty obvious but still it didn't hurt to try.

"As long as the sun is up I might as well explore the house a bit." I thought to myself. Turning the corner I made my way up the stairs and into the next best room. Carlisle's office. A beautiful place to be! If they only had electricity I would be reading all night long. Wandering around I looked at the pictures on the wall and the many many books on the shelves. Definitely a place worth staying but for now I wanted to see more of the rooms I never got to see when I was with Edward.

Steering clear of Edward's room I went straight into another one I hadn't seen before. Judging by the numerous gaming devises and the large walk in closet I was inside Rosalie's and Emmett's room. Whereas I loved my big brother bear to shreds the room didn't really hold my interest and I moved back into the large floor.

For an unknown reason I didn't go into the next room but instead roamed about the other wing of the house opening a door to what seemed to be another office. It held at least as much books as Carlisle's office. The walls weren't decorated with pictures but with maps and flags. In the middle of the room stood a large wooden desk and on top of that desk sat something that looked like one of those strategizing maps with little wooden figures that resembled soldiers.

"Huh..that's curious." Who did this room belong to? As much as I knew none of the women were interested in strategizing and war scenery. Maybe Emmett or Carlisle held a little passion for something like that or maybe... yeah it seemed to fit. Jasper. A southern man through and through.

Taking a closer look I saw that the main theme was the civil war and the Confederate Army. I could certainly see Jasper sitting inside of this room brooding over maps and reading for hours straight. I sat down in a comfy old leather armchair. It smelled faintly like old books, vanilla and tobacco. A heavenly scent. I inhaled deeply and suddenly I felt really calm and sleepy. Maybe I should just stay here. I can't walk home at night anyway and tomorrow I could just walk along the streets. It would take longer to get home than through the woods that way but at least I wouldn't get lost so easily. I just hoped Charlie wouldn't be home before I got there. He was working double again and wasn't likely to get home before eight in the morning. So with a bit of luck my little "sleepover" would go unnoticed. Wrapping myself in the crocheted cover that lay over the back of the armchair and slowly dozed off.


Author's Note: Hey there! I'm so sorry.. I was halfway through the chapter when my stomach decided that it didn't like the burritos I had for lunch. Well long story short I wasn't able to finish the chapter yesterday.

So Bella dozes off at the old Cullens residence after wandering through the woods. What do you think so far? Please let me know! :D

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