Trouble With a Capital T

By: Gmusick

Chapter 3:

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, boy I wish I did, but I don't.

Even with the considerable distance he put between the angry women and himself, Naruto could hear a distinctive ripping sound, almost like the pages of a book tearing, followed by one of the most anguished, terror-filled screams he had ever heard. Naruto never slowed his pace, but gave a small prayer to the gods asking that Kakashi-sensei didn't land in the hospital again. After all, he wanted to go on missions.

A very unlikely possibility with the way things looked before he left.

If he thought of it in terms of tradeoffs, Naruto hated giving up his standard four super-sized special bowls of the greatest gift known to man, but the decision had been relatively easy when he considered hospitals didn't did not serve ramen. They went so far as to say eating too much was not part of a balanced diet. As if they would know anything. But he was glad Kakashi-sensei once again was there to help his students in their time of need.

'Thank you Kakashi-sensei.'

There was a lesson to be learned here. The encounter had not failed to point out some obvious landmines that would need to be carefully avoided if the next few weeks or months were to pass in peace.

The most important was not to invite more than one person out to ramen. Then he would not have to concentrate so much on conversations, therefore putting an end to the fights before they happened.

With the problem easily settled, in his own poor, deluded mind, Naruto focused his attention on his surroundings to keep a lookout for anybody he knew personally. The past week was pretty much filled with nothing but training and more training. Since their three three-year journey was cut short, Naruto put a premium on working himself to exhaustion most afternoons. He wasn't making anywhere near the progress he was during their road-trip, but it was better than sitting and letting the few things he did know deteriorate.

"Naruto-kun?"

Naruto skidded to a halt along one of the rooftops, casting a look round to try and locate the caller.

"Down here."

Looking down, he found his teammate Sakura, carrying a bag that looked filled with groceries.

"Hey Sakura-chan. What are you doing?"

Frowning at his lack of anything approaching manners or common decency, Sakura shouted up at him, "Naruto get down from there."

Naruto shrugged his shoulders before hopping down to land in front of her. Eyes closed in happy half moon crescents, the familiar scene of Naruto rubbing the back of his head brought an involuntary smile to Sakura's face.

"Where were you going?" Sakura asked.

"No where really. I'm more bored than anything."

Sakura shook her head. "Naruto, it's a beautiful day. Why don't you take a break and enjoy it for once."

"I do enjoy my days. Future Hokages can't take days off."

"Well today you will," Sakura said with a frown marring her face.

"But I don't want to," Naruto whined, his face turning into a tear-inducing pout.

The frown morphed into a scowl, her eyes narrowing into slits, and a small, but all too real fire flared in her eyes. "You .will take a break today and that's final."

Preservation instincts kicking in, Naruto decided that being quiet would net him a far better outcome than trying to continue arguing. And the thought of running was ended when he thought Sakura would run into him sooner or later when they had another team meeting. By then her temper would have reached legendary levels.

Not something he wanted to experience first hand.

Sakura took his silence to mean he would listen to her for once. "Here, you can take these groceries to my house for me."

"But that's boring."

The sound of leather tightening in her fist alerted Naruto to the dangerous predicament he found himself in. "Uhh, never mind. I'll be glad to help Sakura-chan."

Sakura's smile was radiant, happy that she was able to corner him into spending some time with her without looking like she was actually trying. Surprisingly, the earlier gag reflex was absent, making Sakura wonder if something was wrong with her.

As the two of them began walking toward her home, Sakura remembered her earlier proclamation about pigs flying and chanced a look up in the sky. She was about to release a relieved sigh when the sight of Tonton flying over someone's roof made her jaw hit the floor.

Inner Sakura could only give an amused chuckle. Irony was a beautiful thing sometimes.


Ayame was a sweet girl. She was raised by her father, who was a retired chuunin, and her mother, who was the sweetest woman in the world, and even with their Spartan lifestyle, they always managed to get her everything she needed. She was loved, raised to be an ideal young woman, and promised her father's beloved ramen stand if she wanted it when she got older.

It may not sound as important to another person, but you had to take into account her fathers love for the art, the art of making ramen.

She didn't know the entire story, but her father had been a ninja of Konoha. He wasn't very talented, but he used his head to help him make it through the bloody battles that existed during his time. But after years of service, the daily grind began to get to him.

Retiring in his mid-thirties, her father decided he would pursue another one of his goals, to open up his own stand and make a living feeding the same people he spent so many years protecting. It was there he met her mother, who incidentally was his very first customer.

Her mother, a woman from a family that specialized in making durable clothing for the shinobi of the village, which meant they were extremely wealthy, was younger than her father by eight years. But from the story she always found her mother reminiscing, her mother would always tell her it was love at first sight.

It took them years to finally settle down. Between her family wanting her to remain in the family business, and thinking shinobi were beneath their daughters notice, and her father's reluctance to start any kind of relationship with anybody, her mother had her work cut out for her.

But she persevered, choosing love over her birth family. When her family threatened to disown her for dating Ayame's father, mother simply took her name away from the family registry and never looked back. Spending the rest of her days helping her father at the ramen stand, and enjoying the time they had with each other.

It was a dangerous thing to think, but Ayame always wondered if her mother regretted her decision. Other than her father, and his extended family who loved her unconditionally, everyone from her mothers side seemed to give her the cold shoulder; Aacting as if she never existed. It was puzzling as a child, and until she had grown older, Ayame never knew why her relatives acted as such.

Her mother never did treat them the same way they treated her. She treated everyone the same, with a love and care for their well-being that stunned people speechless. Ayame had never once seen her parents in a public argument. Sure she knew on a fundamental level that everything was not perfect, but they always managed to provide a happy, stable home.

That was how she and her little brother grew up. And it was why she never looked at Naruto the same as everyone else. Her father treated him like a son, and when she was around her mother babied him until he would go red in the face. Her family treated him like one of their own.

Her mother had at one time tried to get Naruto to come and live with them. Initially, she had no idea he had lived by himself, and furious with the Hokage and everyone else in the village she had went directly to the Hokage to try and adopt Naruto. But the decision had been Naruto's and by then, at the age of seven, Naruto had been so used to living on his own he turned down the offer, even with her mother's pleading. He was just too used to having to take care of himself to go and be a burden on someone else.

But he continued to visit, stopping by everyday for the longest time. It allowed her to watch him grow into the person he was today and admire him just as much. Ayame had to be frank, she liked him. She liked what he was, and liked the way he was growing up.

Ayame was sure she had managed to keep her slight crush a secret, but somehow she knew her mother knew. Since his return from his three-year trip, her mother would give her these sly looks whenever Naruto came around, and it was becoming frustrating.

With the ramen stand winding down for the day, Ayame thought about the near brawl that had taken place this afternoon, though the way that silver-haired man screamed when his book was ripped and burned would haunt her for some time. She had no idea what it was about, but she could guess it had everything to do with Naruto. She remembered the older looking two talking about being fiancée's to Naruto, but that couldn't be true. He would have told her something by now.

He would always make time to talk to her about everything that happened to him, whether it was something important like what to do about his crush on Sakura, or simpler things like why ramen wasn't considered the greatest food on earth, he would come to her. They sat and talked for hours about his adventures during the three years away.

But if he was engaged, what could she do? That was when she remembered her mother giving her one of her many pearls of wisdom.

Flashback

Her mother stopped preparing dinner to look at the young girl to her left. "Ayame-chan, isthere something you want to ask me?"

Ayame hesitated, reluctant to voice her concerns. But her mother's patient and loving smile pushed her forward. "Okaasan, what if you like a boy, but can't talk to him because other people might not like you?"

Her mother stirred the skillet, gathering her thoughts before putting her message in a way her daughter could understand. "Ayame-chan, when I first met your father, I made a promise to myself right then and there that I would make him my husband. I didn't know what reason or why, but I knew he was the one for me. Oh, he was polite, and well-mannered, but he just didn't think he was ready for any relationship."

Ayame looked surprised. "But wasn't otousan old enough to be married by then."

"Yes, he was. By then he was almost an old folgy," he mother said with a fit of giggles. "But I loved him all the same. My family didn't like him so much. I would go so far to say they hated him."

Ayame could not figure out why anyone would hate her father. He was the kindest man she had ever known. He never raised his voice at anyone.

"I know what you are thinking and I think the same thing. How could anyone hate him, But people rarely need a reason to hate. Usually it takes nothing more than their insecurities to spurn them forward." Taking a deep breath, her mother turned the burner off and ran her hand through Ayame's lengthening hair. "What I'm saying is that, do not ever let anyone else tell you how you should feel about someone you care about. Follow your heart and it will never lead you wrong."

Ayame thought it over. What her mother was saying sounded nice, but could she really do that?. It sounded good, but nothing was ever that easy.

"Another thing Ayame-chan, if I listened to everyone else instead of my heart, I wouldn't have had this beautiful little girl standing next to me."

End Flashback

So maybe she should just listen to her heart. It worked for her mother, and she always seemed happy. That didn't seem that hard of a task. 'Taking Naruto-kun a bowl of ramen for breakfast would be nice.'


Sakura opened the door to her home and directed Naruto toward the kitchen. Naruto dropped the package, looking around the nicely furnished home with a little bit of awe. A reasonable reaction when you considered how Naruto's home always looked like a war zone to everyone but his own eyes.

"Wow Sakura-chan, you have a really nice home."

Sakura smiled, blushing at the light, unintentional compliment. "Thank you. I don't do much but live here. My parents are the ones you should thank."

Naruto did not seem to hear her, too busy looking at anything and everything in the house. He continued to peruse everything in sight, stopping at one of the pictures hanging on the wall in the room.

"Is this you?"

Sakura walked up to him, unconsciously putting as little space as possible between the two of them. "Yup. That was my three year birthday party."

After a while and Naruto hadn't said anything, Sakura turned to see his gaze lingering on the picture, the expression on his face something she had never seen before. He looked so lonely, like he was the only person in the room.

"…Naruto?"

He blinked, pulling away from wherever he was and smiled at her concerned look. "There are a lot of people in the picture. You must have a big family."

"Yeah. I'm the first one to become a shinobi in years. My great-grandfather was the last one."

Naruto's eyes widened in shock. "You're really cool then Sakura-chan. I didn't know"

Sakura said nothing, she held his blue-eyed gaze looking for something she could not define. But before she could find her answer Naruto turned away and started walking along the wall looking at the rest of the pictures that were hung.

"Do you want something to drink?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, I'm okay. I should be heading back home."

Naruto looked ready to leave and Sakura screamed out, "WAIT!" Naruto stopped in mid-step, wondering if he did something like leave a smudge on one of the pictures. Sakura's brain scrambled for something to say. She had not meant to call out to him, but now that he had stopped what did she say?

'Help me… please.'

Inner Sakura simply smiled at the outer Sakura's predicament. She would have stood back and let Sakura make her own mistakes, but her happiness was at stake as well. It was all about the balance of inner and outer peace, or whatever that meant. She was never into that ying-yang stuff.

'Ask him to eat with you. Your parents aren't home. No one is going to say anything.'

'But…' outer Sakura started.

'Listen girl, if you don't try to get in good now, you won't have a second chance. I'm getting vines from him.'

'Vibes?'

Inner Sakura nodded her head. 'You know. When women single out a certain male as theirs they place their mark on him. You can't see it, but if you use your womanly intuition you can tell. I don't think there is a place someone hasn't marked on Naruto.'

Sakura took a quick glance and blinked, stupefied. There were different colored flags pinned all over his body.

'What the hell?'

Inner Sakura was just as surprised as Outer Sakura. She really had not known it was so many. The Hyuuga girl, and his two new fiancée's she knew about. But there were over a dozen total.

'My God. Who are all theses women?' Inner Sakura whispered in silent horror.

Outer Sakura didn't know, and didn't care. All this did what point out to her how wrong she had been. But she would not lose him to those hussies. 'I'm going to fix him the best meal he's ever tasted in his life.'

With the youthful fire of determination burning in her eyes, Sakura approached Naruto and took his hand in hers. Naruto looked at her and swallowed the lump of coal in his throat at the look she was giving him.

"Sakura-chan?"

"I'm cooking. Will you stay and eat with me?"

'My Kyuubi sense is tingling,' which, when translated, means oncoming danger he needed to look out for. But the grip Sakura had on his hand was so tight, with a small twinge she could break his hand.

"Okay Sakura-chan, I would love to."

Sakura smiled, and Naruto was relieved it wasn't the 'Pain Is Coming' smile or the 'I Am Going to Kill You' one.

"Do you know how to cook?" Naruto asked after he thought just what he would be eating.

There was a deceptive shift in Sakura's facial expression, Naruto called this new look the 'One More Word and You Will Be Hurt' look.

He wisely kept silent after that.


A very tired Naruto slowly made his way into his very small, but cozy apartment. He left his lights off, using the moon to shine light on where he needed to go. Today had been something of an anomaly. Not only had he spent time with Sakura, but she didn't seem to want to leave him alone. Surely his teammate was sick, or maybe she was getting really worried about Sasuke.

Did he still like her? Of course, but it wasn't with the same burning idiocy from his childhood. Ero-sennin had taught him a lot of things,. when he wasn't off on one of his perverted quests for porn. But one of the things that stuck with him till this day was, when he said that with women, sometimes letting them go is the best thing you could ever do for them.

So he left his notions of the perfect girlfriend behind and focused on other things. Who knew? Maybe if he followed ero-sennin's advice, Sakura might come around sometime in the future.

Somewhere in the cosmos, the notion of irony was close to tears he was laughing so hard.

After a quick meal of instant ramen, and a quick brush of his teeth, Naruto stripped down into his boxers, and slid under his sheets. As strange as today was, he could guess tomorrow would be even weirder.

Just as he laid his head on the pillow, there was another body already under the sheets, this one entirely nude. A pair of slim arms snugly wrapped themselves around his waist, and he could feel a pair of bare breasts press into his back, a shapely leg crossing over his own.

"Naruto-sama, I have missed you," the hard, yet somehow delicate voice said.

Naruto immediately knew who it was. "Kin, what are you doing here, and in my bed?" he asked, shocked at the girls boldness.

Snuggling up even closer, Kin's voice was almost a whisper in his ear. "After you tied me up in the middle of the night and left me on the doorstep of the kind, elderly lady, I simply untied myself and followed your trail back here to Konoha."

"…What?"

Dropping a light kiss on his cheek, Kin elaborated for his sake. "After you saved me, I made it my vow to follow you till the end. You cared enough to save me, and I will dedicate my life to making sure you will never be alone again."

What do you say to someone that gave such a dedication to your wellbeing? If you were Uzumaki Naruto, the only thing you could say was, "Damn. This is going to get bad."


AN: First of all, got to give a shout out to 'Begging for an update.' Yes that is the actual reviewers' name. I give you props for just being different. There you have it. Everyone is in and hopefully no one else will crash the party, at least that's what my imagination is leading me to believe so I have to believe it. Where the hell did Ayame and Kin come from! I don't even know myself, but two reviewers managed to point them out, something I was surprised about. It was always at the back of my head, but I didn't want to try it until I had a good enough background history setup for both of them. But now I do, so there they go. Do I know that Kin died in the anime? Yes, but if Haku is alive and a girl, I might as well go all out. This thing is so far removed from canon there is no hope of it going back.

Who does Naruto hook up with? I favor the multi-girl scenario, but until I can think up something even remotely believable it's not going to happen.

Anyway, because of so many girls I'm opening a voting contest after each chapter. The catch is you're not voting for who he ends up with, you're voting for the character you want to have the most face-time in the next chapter. Of course voting them in doesn't mean they'll have the scenes you want to see so that's another catch, but this is a silly fic. I'm aiming for a bit of violence, with a load of humor.

That's it for this chapter, sorry for the delay but hopefully, the next won't take as long. And I promise the next chapter will have a lot more substance. Look forward to it.