Nobody? OK, the first thing you do, is get revenge on whatever twisted moron put you there. In my case, its the twisted moron Pharaoh. Now, no one saw that coming did they? Heh. Now, in our last lesson, we learned the Pharaoh does not like bunnies, or tattoos, nor does he like vinegar and attempts to kill him. So how, I hear you ask, do you kill/torture someone as picky and choosy as this? It is very simple. We scare the holy fuck out of them. And how, I hear you ask do we do this? Simple. You shut the hell up asking me questions and watch me, the professional, do an awsome job of freaking out the Pharaoh, whilst you sit quiet and play with your bunny slippers.
So, we are going to start by buying a new 3D video camera! (Courtesy of Kaiba, by the way, who regularly lends us money, whether he wants to or not). We then, go to the bunny farm, and film lots of bunnies. We then think of the most amazing title for our film, such as 'Ancient Leaders Of Egypt' and place the 3D film, in a box under its false name. We then send it to our good friend, the Pharaoh. Who, of course, with his giant inflated ego, will watch the film, wanting to see Hugh Grant acting as him, even though, sadly, there are no Pharaohs, sexy celebrities, or washed up boy bands on the film. So we send a teeny tiny explosive chip in with the packaging. This is a fabulous idea BECAUSE whilst Pharaoh dear is have a fit over the bunnies, and is crying in the corner, he will eventually crawl up to the video case to find the makers of the video, and as he does the chip explodes and POOM! No more Pharaoh Atemu. See, this is why I am the owner of millions of minions, such as yourself, and am above god. Because, I AM GOD BAKURA. I have my own cult. Bakuraism, you should join it some time. (Terms and conditions at then end of the chapter)
Anyway. So, all good plans need a backup plan, because as I said in chapter 1, he is the 'hero' he shall escape and live long and prosper, otherwise, the series of YU-Gi-Oh will fail to exist as you know it and you'll be stuck with those shitty GX brats. And I'm not one of them. So Pharaoh must live for your viewing pleasure of me. Because secretly, I am the main character and I run the show. Its just that nobody knows it yet. Anyway. You should have all practised you're evil laughs. So, after 3. I SAID 3 MORON.
1 2 3 'MUAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAA!' Ryou, for fucks sake stop staring at me like I'm a piece of talking steak. I'm not.
Anyway. Now, we post the video and wait. Wait for the painful, merciless screams of Atemu...shrieking in all his 3D bunny pain. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bakuraism-
Terms and conditions. To join the faith of Bakuraism, you must first give up your own soul to Bakura, worship him 8 times a day, and 9 on Sunday. Never enjoy TV when he is not on, and dedicate your life, your siblings, pets and stuffed animals lives to Bakura. Daily sacrifices of Anzu lovers are made at 3pm, by all followers and foods such as broccoli, sprouts, cabbage and anything else healthy is banned. Steak is sacred and must be eaten bloody every day. Hair must be dyed white and albinos are worshiped. Anyone leaving the faith must thus shave their heads and will be later sent to the shadow realm, for leaving the faith in the first place. so don't leave. Bakura will eat you. To join, dial 666-Bakura, and be prepared for instructions on how to fill your life with meaning, menace and blood.
