All your fault

Disclaimer: ...I loved the many Jack´s scene...can I have one now?

Summary: What would you do if you´re stranded with your arch-nemesis on a little island? ...Imagine what Jack does. We know Jack is witty...but Barbossa´s the guy who outsmarted him. twice


After a heavy round of bitching ("You attacked me!" "I wouldn´t have attacked when you hadn´t taken the Pearl away! Again!" "You shot me!" "That´s no excuse!" "If you hadn´t shot me, I´d never...") they were exhausted and panting.

"It is crucial to stand here and see that bastard sail away with my ship" said Barbossa. Jack opened his mouth in protest and flailed his arms wildly at Barbossa."Excuse me." When Barbossa looked at him, Jack quirked an eyebrow. "Your. Ship. You moron! That is MY ship! You stole it! AGAIN!"

"Jack, Jack, Jaaaaaaack" Barbossa patted Jack´s shoulder in his paternal way. "Remind me...how many times have I´ve taken command of the Pearl yet? Not that your rum-soaked brain would actually remember, but I believe it was plenty of times. Does the Pearl really deserve a captain who manages to get his ship stole like twice a week?" While Jack opened his mouth again, raised his index finger to point something out, but closed his mouth with no sounds emerging when he could not think of a witty answer, Barbossa plopped down on the sand, took his hat and used it to create a breeze for him. His pet monkey who had hidden under his coat walked off to explore the island. When little-Jack was gone Jack quickly took his pistol and aimed at Barbossa. After the click Barbossa turned his head to face Jack. "You already did that. Does the term learning from experience tell you anything? Of course not" he added before Jack could say anything. "Besides," he grinned mischievously "do you really want a dead body here to attract vultures? Or other carnivores?"

Jack laughed shortly and stopped abruptly. "There are no vultures here." he said, although it almost sounded like a question. "Really?" asked Barbossa. "Then will the scent of human flesh surely call the cannibals here." Barbossa pulled his hat like a windhield in his face and leaned back against the palm tree behind him. Remembering his adventure with the Pelegostos Jack put his gun away. He plopped down at the opposite side. "And-" he asked. "You mastermind-planning-mutiny-ex-first-mate, what will you do to get away from here?" asked Jack while searching the horizon for approaching ships (and slumping when he saw none)

"You know, Jack... after the episode with Davy Jones, I came to a conclusion." started Barbossa. "What is life worth if you can´t enjoy it? I´ve spent too long time existing without being alive. All in now want is to enjoy life. Which was why I went to the cave to get some gold, sail to Tortuga maybe and have a hell of a good time." He leaned stretched lazily "Wine, Women- maybe a little card games -" "Which you managed just fine" interrupted Jack. Barbossa used his index finger to push the rim of his hat off his eye, quirked an eyebrow and looked at Jack with an unreadable expression.

"Our current situation changes only the ultimate means of my plan, not the plan itself. Instead of Tortuga I have a island like paradise, there´s the sea, nature, the warm sand, the sun on my skin and-" he punched the tree behind him which caused a coconut to fall down next to him which Barbossa cut open with his cutlass "I´m intending to enjoy this situation the most as I can." He emptied the nut in a few gulps. "I can go after the Pearl later."

"What makes you sure I won´t try to kill you when you´re relaxing here?" asked Jack cockily while he was playing hith his pistol. He just had to threat Barbossa (Jack Rule #3). Barbossa pulled his hat completely on his face and answered sleepily "Then you´d have to deal with Jack." And on cue his pet monkey hopped on Barbossa´s shoulder and showed Jack (Sparrow) his sharp, pointy teeth. "Nice monkey" said Jack.