"What do you mean, we don't have enough money?" Narcissa Malfoy shouted at her posh peacock of a husband once he broke the news.
"Someone took it, they took it all, aside from a small amount." Lucius as he handed the note. "Apparently someone has been able to lay claim to all our fortunes and properties and I can only think of two people whom can do that. Your cousin Sirius, and we all know he's in Azkaban. And...You-Know-Who." Lucius said fearfully.
Narcissa's mouth thinned into a line. "You just had to join up with a murderous megalomaniac. You just could have kept your nose clean and just continue to support pureblood propaganda in the Wizengamot, but no, you had to go out and torture and kill lesser bloods and attract attention. Only the fact the minister was a greedy idiot got you off, because no one else was fooled!" Narcissa growled at her husband. "Now, we can still of the little stipend we have, as long as we make some savings."
"Savings? You mean that we won't be able to afford anything a Pureblood of our caliber deserve? If we aren't able to afford it, our name will be dragged through the mud, we'll be classed in the same bracket at the Weasleys!" Lucius said.
"What is more important? Surviving or looking good?" Narcissa asked Lucius, whom had a pondering look on his face. "And if you feel the need to think that over, you have a messed up sense of priority. Merlin damn it Lucius." She could have gone for a bethrothal contract with Frank Longbottom's cousin Fitzgerald 'Foot' Longbottom but no, she begged her parents for a bethrothal with Luscious 'Prissypants' Malfoy. What a mistake that has been.
"We will be dead anyhow, because Fudge expect us to make contributions to 'good causes'. You know, orphanages, St. Mungo's, his vault, that sort of stuff." Lucius said. "If we aren't able to, even someone as stupid as Fudge will become suspicious. The guy isn't an idiot, at least when it comes to gold. Now, I have a few secret stashes, not much, but enough to make contributions for a while until we are able to think of something else...say, Draco's trust vault wasn't hit as hard..." Lucius noted.
"You are not touching Draco's vault! He needs his schooling. If not for making friends and alliances in the future among the student body, then at least so he can study and have a good job so that he one day may restore our family fortune." Narcissa growled.
"But mom, that sounds like work. Purebloods like us shouldn't have to work." Draco Malfoy said. He had snuck in while his parents were discussing.
Narcissa rubbed her temples. She loved her son, but he was becoming more of a carbon copy of his father every day. But at least Lucius had cunning and a bit of intelligence. Draco ran his mouth off, was subtle as a brick and never thought things through. "My little dragon...your father made a mistake and we are going to pay for it. So in case your father won't be able to fix it, it will be up to you to set things straigth."
Draco pondered for a moment. "I'm sure that Dad will find a solution." he said with a smug grin. Narcissa was feeling peeved because while Draco had the ambition of a Slytherin, he didn't have the brains to make use of it, unwillig to make the effort to achieve those ambitions, or had the cunning to pull it off if he ever needed it. "What's for dinner?" he asked like the conversation was done.
"I don't know, your father's actions also cost us our House Elf, and we'll have to take care of our own food." Narcissa growled at the blond arsewipe she called her husband.
"The little shit was too happy to leave. You know he mooned me? I don't know why he hated me so much. I gave him anything. A room under the table sink to sleep, he got moldy bread to eat, he got to work his arse off while I beat him to get going...Oh right." Lucius said as realization sunk in. Then suddenly something happened when he sat down in his comfy chair. There must have been something with the springs in the chair as he was catapulted in the air, and became stuck with his head in the ceiling, the former richboy squirming.
"I'll save you, dad!" Draco said as he tried to stand on his dad's chair to grab his legs and pull him out. But whatever made the chair extra springy was still in effect. And Draco was right under his dad as it happens so...well, they already said the boy's head was so far up his daddy's arse that you wouldn't know where daddy began and junior ended. Now that was literal.
Narcissa sighed. She would have gone to St. Mungo's...But they were tight on cash, Lucius' pride and need to look important wouldn't have it...and she was still mad at him. Oh well, hopefully a bowel loosening hex would work.
At a distance, disillusioned and undetectable, the House Elf Dobby smiled. He loved the new job New Master Harry Potter gave him. Keep an eye on old bad masters and thwart them from doing anything evil, and torment them when needed. Dobby felt happy for the first time in his life. And Master Harry's miss Hermy insisting Dobby being paid for it was a cherry on top. It would take weeks for old Master Lucius to sit comfortably again. And a long time before former young Master Draco felt clean again, and get over his fear for dark smelly tunnels.
Back with the timetravelling menage-au-trois, they apparated just outside of the wards of the Burrow. "We are really going to break in with the Weasleys. I know we had then stellar experiences with Ron, Ginny and Percy...but I still feel guilty for breaking in." Hermione said. Aside the ones mentioned she had liked the other Weasleys.
"We are not breaking in...we are just going to pick something up of which they don't know is dangerous. Pettigrew may have masked as a pet, but after offing a dozen muggles, you think he wouldn't have murdered the entire Weasley family too just to save his own arse. We are saving them." Harry said. He then turned to Luna. "Which means no pranks on Ron. I know he gave you that insensitive nickname, but he is not a dark wizard. He's just a bloody idiot. We deal with evil people, not stupid ones."
"You ruin all my fun." Luna pouted. She then had an idea. She couldn't prank Ron, but if she set up a prank intended for someone else but if Ron happens to step into it due to being stupid or klutzy...Now to change the subject before her bedwarmers found out about her plan. "Are there any wards you detect."
Harry's speciality was dealing with defensive spells and understanding and countering dark magic. So he developed a penchant for wards. How to make them and how to break them. "A simple but effective one. Anyone trying to harm one of the inhabitants of the house can't get in, or at least not without setting alarm. And Peter is still considered a family pet at the moment."
"So what is your solution?" Hermione asked.
"The ward is just a magic construct, but it has enough of an awareness to understand its purpose. I am going to 'convince' it, we are only here to remove Wormtail, whom is a harmful element, and then leave." Harry said as he lifted a wand. It was a Traceless wand that he got from one of the Death Eater vaults he had claimed and started working.
Luna realized with this ward she couldn't prank Ron. However, if she could 'convince' Molly to bake something like a pie and have Ron deliver it to their neighbours the Lovegoods, and he were to walk in one of her 'Nargle traps'...yeah, that'd do. Call her Loony, will he?
With Harry's skill they got in easily. They silently snuck into the Burrow. A few Somnus charms to be safe, so the Weasleys wouldn't wake too quickly. The Weasleys were deep sleepers but better safe then sorry. They found Peter's cage easily. A Somnus on the rat, making the cage indestructible, and they could do. They conjured a replica of the cage, but empty, making it seem Scabbers got out of the cage, wandered off and must have run been taking by predators outside or something.
As they took their price away, Luna stopped by the door to Ginny's room with a sad look on her face. Ever since Ginny had been possessed by that cursed diary, she had been different. She distanced herself from Luna, her obsession with Harry grew...the three of them were shocked to find out Ginny had slipped Harry love potions during their sixth year. After all, his sudden interest in her was suspicious. Luckily they managed to purge the potions from Harry's system. When confronted about it she seemed so detached from reality, like she didn't understand what she did was wrong.
She was mentally damaged, from her time under Riddle's control. Worse, she never recieved treatment. While Mind Healers weren't cheap, when it came to family the Weasleys would have done anything for their daughter. The problem was that Dumbledore talked them out of it. Whether he was crazy or wanted to hide his mistakes, it was his fault. Luna spoke to her friends. "We can save her...from becoming damaged. She won't become..." she said.
Hermione would have felt a bit cross for Ginny, but the logical part of her mind dictated this past version of Ginny hadn't done anything yet and bad things could be prevented. Harry never felt resentment for Ginny. She wasn't in the right mind and he knew how bad having Voldemort in your head fucked you up. Anything to save her from the experience this time, so she would grow up undamaged. "We can do something. Not put compulsions on her, merely planting...subtle warnings. Not to trust things that write back...maybe ones where she would think of trying to get to know the real me instead of hero-worshipping me due to these children's books..."
"We must not forget to sue the writer and producers of those books and other merch they made in your name without permission." Hermione noted. "And while we're at it, we may take steps against the Prophet and Rita Skeeter before they can slander you in the future."
"They will be dealt with eventually, but they are small fries and there will be plenty of time later. You know, I wonder if we could put a few of those mental warnings on Ron from doing anything stupid." Harry said.
"Wouldn't work. One, Ron doesn't listen to anyone, not even a voice in his head. Second, he is so weak to mental manipulation that anything we do would stick out like a sore thumb. I mean, remember when the fake Moody put him under an Imperius?" Hermione reminded Harry.
"Oh yeah, kept skipping even after class, for most of the day." Harry remembered.
"So we'll have to teach him the hard way. Or as I call it the fun way!" Luna said with a sadistic grin.
"Luna!" both Harry and Hermione said.
They didn't stick around for much longer. They put the mental warnings inside of Ginny's head so that she wouldn't fall for the same traps in the future. They then left with Pettigrew. But it made them wonder what Dumbledore was thinking in blocking the Weasley daughter's treatment of. What goes on in that head of his.
Speaking of the headmaster, he was in his office, doing something very important. Oh wait, no he isn't. He is looking at one of those plastic bird toys that dip up and down with thier beaks into the water. Dumbledore was easily amused by it. "Go, birdy go!" he said excitedly, before popping another lemon drop in his mouth. Then Minerva McGonagall came in. 'That blasted woman always cut in to my me-time.' he thought. "How can I help you Minerva?"
"I had it up to here with Severus." she spat. "His students cursed a couple of my cubs and he has the balls to assign my Gryffindors, the victims, detention for apparently starting a fight. But they didn't start it..."
"Severus has my confidence and trust in the matter, he must be knowing what he is doing." Dumbledore said. Yes, he trusted Snape. He was a good spy, and he was the one whom warned him about the bad tasting meds. What would he do without Severus. Sexy, bad boy Severus...
"But those Slytherins whom cursed..." Minerva moaned.
"I bet they are sorry. You must learn to forgive people Minerva." Dumbledore said.
Minerva sighed, and gave up. When it comes to Snape, there was no reasoning with Dumbledore. If she wasn't so sure that Dumbledore was taking his meds, she would have thought he was off his rocker. "If you say so, Headmaster." She then stared at the plastic bird toy on his desk.
"My new Dark Detector." Dumbledore said. It was a lie, but he didn't want Minerva interfering with his hobbies again. She already had taken away his icecream-pooping sheep. Minerva just shrugged, accepted his answer and left. Man, he deserved another lemon drop for handing that masterfully. Damn, he was good.
Though Harry, Hermione and Luna planned to eventually get Peter Pettigrew to the Department for Magical Law Enforcement, they found the worm-tailed rat deserved a bit of punishment. When Peter woke from his Somnus-induced nap, he was frightened to see he was in a dark room, no longer at the Weasleys. He was still in a cage and couldn't get out, and he didn't dare changing back, whom knows what the people whom had taken him had done with the cage. "Peter Edmund Pettigrew, you have committed serious crimes..." a figure in a black cloak said. He wore an electric blue mask with yellow lightning patterns. His voice also sounded distorted, and unrecognizable.
"You have betrayed your friends and had allowed another to take the fall for you, you have sold your soul to a psychotic psychopath to save your own arse..." another figure in a cloak said. She wore a Japanese fox mask of sorts.
"...And in the name of the moon we shall punish you!" The third person had a sailor moon costume and a bunny mask to hide her identity. The other two looked at her baffled (as far as you could tell since they wore masks) and they facepalmed. "What?" the disguised Luna asked.
"Moonsault, I thought we were going for the classic robes and mask thing!" Harry said, calling Luna by a codename.
"But this makes me feel pretty. You two never complained when I wore it in the past. In fact you were eager to get into my knickers...though I didn't wear them at the time. I only started wearing them again because of our trip back...Remember when you and Vixen..." Luna said.
"Never mind that, we got a rat to torture. Now the moment's gone, we are going to be frank. We are going to have a bit of fun with you until we gift wrap you up for Amelia Bones. Vixen, would you show what is in store for him?" Harry asked the disguised Hermione.
"Certainly, Lightning." Hermione waved another of the wands they got from a claimed vault and a huge tub full of plain white yoghurt appeared. "First we'll stuff you with yoghurt."
"But I hate yoghurt!" Peter thought. His thoughts were picked up by the three's Legillimency.
"Oh don't worry, you won't have to eat it. It's going down the other end." Harry/Lightning said as he conjured a hose and a tip to inject the yoghurt. "The yoghurt is just the beginning though..."
Luna/Moonsault then conjured two more barrels. One contained a red liquid. "This one is hot sauce." she then pointed at a second barrel which was a sickly purple color and it looked like something you didn't want to touch with a thirty foot pole. "And this is a potion that we invented. It was supposed to be a painkiller, but it turned out the exact opposite. It is now liquid Cruciatus."
Peter tried very hard to not evacuate his bowels, otherwise they'd just have more room to stick those substances. Why didn't he become a cauldron thickness inspector like his mother said instead of a Death Eater?
A few hours later, Amelia Bones was surprised to find a House Elf dropped off a cage with a rat (which seemed like he was in terrible pain) in her office. It also had a couple of notes. One was addressed to her, and explained the rat in her cage was an illegal animagus, that he was dangerous and shouldn't let him escape at any costs. So Amelia of course brought in her best aurors, Moody and Shacklebolt to assist her. When they vanished the cage, used a spell to return him to human form, followed with a spell to cuff him and a spell to prevent him from changing back into a rat...they were shocked to find out it was Peter Pettigrew, whom was supposed to be dead. Even more baffling is, that he was begging to be taken in.
"I betrayed James and Lily, they switched Secret Keepers at the last minute, Sirius was just a decoy. He didn't betray them, I did. I have been spying for the Dark Lord. I blew up the street full of muggles to cover my escape. I cut off my finger to fake my death. I have been in hiding for ages. Please, take me to prison. Just please don't give me back to those three!" the whimpering buffoon said before rolling onto his side, curling into a ball and sucking his thumb.
Alastor Moody sighed. "They just had to do that the week before my retirement, do they? At least it's you whom is going to be stuck with the paperwork."
"Dose him with Veritaserum for all details he knows, keep this off the book for as long as possible, until it becomes impossible for Fudge to sweep this under the rug. And have someone transfer Sirius to a hospital, to see if any damage from his stay in Azkaban can be reversed. NOW!" Amelia Bones said. "And someone get me a sandwich and a bottle of Firewhiskey."
Sirius Black wondered if he had finally lost his mind. The thoughts of his innocence, his obsessive thoughts of one day getting out and make Peter Pettigrew pay, as well as the ability to turn into a dog, allowed him to keep himself mostly sane. That didn't mean the Dementors didn't affect him at all and it was possible that they had worn him down over time. He must now hallucinating. He was let out of Azkaban and was brought to the hospital instead. What was going on? He didn't have to wait long for an answer as Amelia Bones came in. "Amy?" he muttered softly.
"Hello Sirius." Amelia said. She tried to hide her feelings. Sirius was a good friend and colleague and she was ashamed to think he'd ever betray Lily and James. "Someone found Pettigrew and delivered him for us. He has confessed. I never knew you didn't even get a trial and..." Amelia found it difficult to put her feelings into words.
"Where is Harry?" Sirius asked. That was the most important thing at the moment. He knew that he was going to be free now, but he needed to know where his godson was.
"Dumbledore said he hid them with some relatives of Lily." Amelia Bones confessed.
"Relatives of Lily? Oh no, not her sister. That bint hates magic. She's making his life a living hell. Why isn't he with the others, the Longbottoms, cousin Andy, anyone?" Sirius asked, hysterically.
"The Longbottoms were tortured into insanity. Their son Neville is raised by his grandmother and she is barely able to handle that. Andromeda is denied the right due to her association with you. We don't know whom else since Malfoy had put forward the motion to have the Potter will sealed to prevent anything of the Potters to go to you or any muggle relative Lily may have. So lawfully, Harry HAD to go the closest blood relative."
"But I'll be cleared, I can take care of him, can I?" Sirius asked, hopefully.
"You first need to recover, physically and mentally. And then you can go and get Harry. You don't want as you are now be the first sight of his godfather?" Amelia said. It felt like old times, when Sirius was still on the Auror Force. A good Auror he was but she had to keep him in line, from doing anything rash.
Sirius knew Amelia was right. He hated to admit it, but it was necessary. It was Harry's wellfare they were talking about. "And Gwennie?" he asked. Sirius had been a player when at Hogwarts, but prior to his arrest he was thinking about going serious with a beautiful young witch called Gwenog Jones.
"She fulfilled her dream to play for the Holyhead Harpies. Currently their captain and Beater. She is not married as far as I can tell. But she has not been informed yet." Amelia explained.
"Maybe there is still hope then." Sirius said happily. Maybe she would be willing to take him back if she knew he wasn't a mass murderer. And he could hope that she would be willing to have Harry into her life as well. If not, at least she was happy with her career and he could hope to at least remain friends. He was shedding tears again for the first time in years.
"Sirius...I am sorry. I thought you had...I shouldn't have believed it. I wanted to look into what happened. But I was blocked at any turn and...maybe I have been allowing myself to be walked over too much in that regard..." Amelia said.
"I don't blame you Amelia. I know you at least tried. I thought I was being clever with the bait and switch. But it was a stupid plan. It is my fault..." Sirius said. "It is my stupidity that condemned James, Lily and Harry. But I know better now and I'll make damn sure that I'll do better, for Harry's sake."
An elf had been there too, disillusioned, to overhear this. The elf would inform Master Harry Potter. Master Harry Potter would be excited to know Harry Potter's godfather would be with him again. And if Sirius would be successful in patching things up with Gwennie, Harry may get a mother figure out of it as well.
Harry would have so much to tell to Sirius. First making sure Sirius is well enough in the head. But he knew he could ease Sirius in telling about his time travel adventure. After all, if anyone would be able to to appreciate what he was done, it was Sirius. He would think of it as a masterful prank in a way, and he would be even prouder when he'd learn he has two girlfriends. And Harry would make sure Sirius would not merely survive, but actually live. And he was sure Sirius would help him, Hermione and Luna for thinking of all new ways of tormenting several bastards whom ruined his life. It would certainly be something nice to bond over.
