A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers.


Chapter 3

Maddie screamed at the top of her lungs like her poor little heart was breaking. Rayna walked the floor of her hotel room with her in her arms and bounced her gently. She was at the end of her rope with the little girl. She just didn't know what else to do for her. She had expended everything in her bag of tricks. With that in mind she grabbed her diaper bag and the key to the room.

She walked down the hall and knocked on Deacon's door. She said a silent prayer under her breath that he didn't have some groupie in his bed.

Deacon opened the door his hair askew from sleep. He rubbed his eyes. "Ray, what's goin' on? It's one in the mornin'."

"Your daughter won't sleep for love or money. I think that there is somethin' wrong with her." Rayna was clearly frazzled.

Deacon took Maddie into his arms and held her against his chest. "Come on in while we figure out what to do 'bout this little one." He walked back into the room and started flipping lights on.

Maddie was now reduced to hiccupping sobs.

"Deacon, somethin' just ain't right. She only cries like this when she's hurt or not feelin' well. Normally though just holdin' her and talkin' to her helps." Rayna ran her hand through her hair.

"Maddie, can you show daddy where it hurts?" Deacon rubbed her back soothingly. He felt her forehead. "Ray, she is burnin' up." He looked at her in alarm.

Maddie just whined plaintively in his arms.

"It could be from all the cryin' she's been doin'. Let me get the thermometer and see what's goin' on." Rayna dug through Maddie's bag for the thermometer.

"Ok, Maddie, we are gonna let your momma take your temperature and daddy is just gonna sit here and hold you." Deacon perched himself on the edge of the bed.

Rayna put the thermometer in her ear. "It's ok, baby girl, momma and daddy are both right here."

Maddie tried to jerk away from her. She wailed loudly.

"Hey, hey, it's alright." Deacon shushed her.

Rayna checked the thermometer when it beeped. "Deacon, she has a fever of almost one hundred and two."

"From the way she's actin' I think she may have an ear infection. She's pullin' on her ear." Deacon looked up at her. "What do we do?"

"We are gonna be home tomorrow and I can take her to her regular doctor then. I much rather not have to take her to the emergency room here." Rayna chewed on her bottom lip nervously.

"I think I know just the thing to do. Does she have any Tylenol in her bag?" Deacon stood up and walked to the bathroom.

"Of course, she does. What kinda mother would I be if I didn't come prepared?" Rayna got the Tylenol out.

Deacon returned with rubbing alcohol and a cotton ball. "I know you're a good momma, Ray. I would never say otherwise. I just asked a question. If not I was gonna run out and get some for her."

Rayna took a deep breath to calm herself. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bitten your head off. I know that you're only tryin' to be a good daddy."

"It's alright, Ray." Deacon reassured her.

"What are you gonna do with the alcohol?" Rayna got back to the topic at hand.

"I'm gonna pour it in her ear to help her be more comfortable. My momma used to do this for me when we didn't have money for the doctor. I figure it'll hold her over 'til she can see her doctor. Do you wanna hold her or have her mad at you for pourin' alcohol in her ear?" Deacon explained himself to her.

"Since you know what you're doin', I'll let you do it and I'll hold her." Rayna took Maddie and sat on the bed with her.

"Tilt her head over for me." Deacon poured some alcohol into the cap for the bottle.

Rayna tilted Maddie's head to the side.

Maddie fussed and squirmed.

"I know, baby girl, momma and daddy are bein' so mean to you right now." Rayna held her steady.

"Daddy is just tryin' to help his baby." Deacon poured the alcohol in her ear and put the cotton ball in. He gave her the Tylenol while she was already mad at him.

"There you go, all done. Daddy got you fixed up." Rayna stopped holding her so tightly.

Deacon held out his hands to her and wiggled his fingers. "Come see daddy again."

Maddie shook her head and then buried her face in Rayna's chest stubbornly.

"Well, I'll say this that little girl is a stubborn thing just like her momma." Deacon chuckled.

"She gets that stubborn shit from her daddy." Rayna gave him a small smile. "Madison Miranda, go to your daddy. He wasn't bein' mean to you he was just tryin' to help you 'cause he loves you so much. He plays guitar for you and sings to you so you can have a good nap."

"Sing," Maddie babbled. She held her arms out for Deacon to pick her up.

Deacon picked her up and laid down in bed with her. He hummed softly and started to sing while he played with her hair.

Rayna watched the two of them and she couldn't help melting a little bit. "If you've got her I'm just gonna go back to my room."

Deacon shook his head and patted the bed on the other side of Maddie. "Stay. Our baby is sick and she needs both her parents right now. We have to learn to co parent and do things we rather not do for her."

Rayna nodded her head and got into the bed with them. She took one of Maddie's little hands in her own and rubbed the back of it with her thumb. "This child is gonna be the death of me. I never knew true fear 'til I had her."

"I know. She makes me feel like wrappin' her up in my arms and keepin' her there where nothin' bad can ever hurt her." Deacon replied.

Maddie let out a low whine.

Rayna started to sing one of their old songs.

Deacon came in at his part.

It didn't take long before Maddie was sound asleep between them.

"She looks so much like you when she sleeps." Rayna whispered.

"I only see you when I look at her. I have a time believin' that I had anythin' to do with helpin' to make someone so perfect." Deacon stared at his daughter in what could only be described as reverence.

Rayna put her hand on top of his on Maddie's little belly. "You are such a good daddy and I'm sorry that I took the chance for you to show me that sooner away from you. I know that you hate me right now, well I hate me too and I'm absolutely sick over all the things I took away from you and her."

"I don't hate you, Ray. I could never hate you. I just hate what you did. I missed so much time with her that I can never get back. I never thought that I'd have the chance to be a daddy and now that I have it I missed out on a big part of it. I mean I know I still have so many things I can do with her and to look forward to, but still I missed some pretty big stuff. I wasn't the first and only man she will ever call daddy, I didn't get to feed her a bottle or walk the floor with her at night when she was fussy, I didn't get to lay on the floor and encourage her to crawl or put her on the tops of my feet to show her how to walk. I didn't get to hear her first words. That's a lot of important things that I didn't get to be there for." Deacon was careful to keep his voice low. He didn't want to wake Maddie and have her start crying again.

Rayna squeezed his hand in a comforting gesture. "You're right and I don't know what else to say to that. You are gonna bear the brunt of it more than Maddie. She will never realize that she called anyone other than you daddy. I have to live with this to. I have to look at the two people I love more than anythin' in this world and deal with the guilt of what I did to them."

Deacon looked at her quizzically. "You still love me?"

"Of course, I still love you. You were my first love and you will always have a huge piece of my heart. You are the man who made me a momma. All the bad things that we've done to each other aside I love you for that alone." Rayna cupped his cheek gently.

"What does that mean for us?" Deacon brushed a stand of hair behind her ear. It was a gesture that spoke to the high level of intimacy between the two of them.

Rayna bit her bottom lip. She knew how she wanted to answer that question. She wanted to throw all caution to the wind. She wanted to run away with the man she loved and their daughter and never look back. To hell with what that would do to her image. She could get a quick, quiet divorce and then settle into a new life with her family. She was scared though. The reasons she hadn't told him about Maddie were still valid. He was still an alcoholic even if he was in recovery. He'd still managed to hurt her worse than anyone in her life ever had except maybe her father. She couldn't do that to Teddy either. He was a decent man he had stepped up to do the noble thing when she was scared, pregnant, and alone. He had been a great father to Maddie and he was a good husband she just didn't feel the spark of passion with him that she did with Deacon. She kept expecting it to come in time, but it hadn't yet and it likely never would.

Her conflicting emotions warred across her face. Her brows knitted together like they did when she was thinking on something intensely. Her shoulders stiffened up and the tension in her body was almost tangible.

Deacon studied her face closely and he could see just how confused and scared she was. They had always been able to read each other and know what the other was thinking without it being verbalized. It was part of what made their relationship so special. They had a connection that went deeper than physical attraction and things they had in common. They were connected on what could only be described as a spiritual connection. Like their relationship had been ordained by God at the beginning of time. If he had to swear on a stack of Holy Bibles he would say that he was certain he had loved her in this lifetime and any other that they had ever lived. The love he felt for her was too deep and too intense to have been something that happened by chance. A love like that had to be fated.

He stared deeply into her eyes and gently brushed her cheek with his knuckle. He smiled softly at her. "It's ok, you don't have to answer right now. I know that you're scared. I put you through hell you have every right to be. I also know that you're married. You took vows and I know you well enough to know that means somethin' to you even if it is just a need you feel to live up to an obligation. I will just say this that ain't no way for you to live your life. I ain't in a place to be with you right now, 'cause I'm so pissed off at you, but that will fade in time."

She licked her lips and cleared her throat. "Right now we will just focus on Maddie she's is the most important person in both our lives. If we can agree to nothin' else we can agree on that." She started to sit up. "I should go and leave her here to rest with you."

"Ray, stay. This way just this once she can have her momma and daddy both with her. We owe her that much. We gotta do this together. Our little girl is sick she deserves to have us both tonight." He pleaded with her with his eyes.

She nodded her head quickly and laid back down. She hadn't really wanted to leave anyway. Being in his bed again just felt right. "You're right I'll stay."

He laughed softly. "I should check and make sure you ain't sick. You just told me I was right twice in the last ten minutes."

"I would argue with you, but I'm too tired to." She yawned. Her nose wrinkled up.

He smiled at her. Maddie looked just like her when she yawned. "Get some rest. I've got Maddie if she wakes up during the night."

"Thank you," Rayna closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.


Teddy smiled at the nurse who let him into the exam room where Rayna was with Maddie. He'd been worried sick ever since he got the call from Rayna to meet her at the doctor's office, because their daughter was sick.

"The doctor will be in shortly, Mr. Conrad." The nurse smiled back at him and closed the door.

The smile fell from Teddy's face when he saw that Deacon was already in the room with his wife and daughter. This was not going at all the way he'd planned it. "What's he doing here?" He demanded.

"My daughter is sick I ain't gonna be anywhere else in the world right now. She ran a fever and I was up with her all night. I wanna hear everythin' that's goin' on with her." Deacon replied tightly. He sat on the exam table with Maddie in his arms.

"Teddy, now is not the time for this. We are going to discuss this at home and then Deacon is gonna come by later and we are all gonna talk like rational adults. I don't care if either of you like that or not." Rayna warned him. She shot a glare at Deacon that told him to keep his mouth shut.

"Whatever you say." Teddy rolled his eyes.

"Sure thing, Ray." Deacon bounced Maddie on his knee to keep her occupied.

"Dada, dada," Maddie babbled and reached out to Teddy.

A smug smirk lit Teddy's face and he took Maddie into his arms. He was more than a little happy about the hurt look in Deacon's eyes. He kissed Maddie's cheeks. "Hi, princess, daddy missed you so much."

"You ain't her daddy I am." Deacon mumbled. He looked down because he didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing the tears that filled his eyes.

Rayna put a comforting hand on his shoulder and she shot Teddy a reproachful look for rubbing that in his face. "It's ok, it'll just take some time to get her used to callin' you daddy."

"He's not daddy, he's Uncle Deacon." Teddy shot back.

"Teddy, I said that now isn't the time for this." Rayna spoke through clenched teeth. If he was going to behave this way it was going to make her decision that much easier.

Before Teddy had a chance to reply Maddie's doctor walked in the room. Dr. Morris consulted the chart and he turned to smile. "What seems to be going on with Maddie today?" He asked.

Rayna took Maddie from Teddy and handed her back to Deacon. "I think she may have an ear infection. She had a fever all night and she was pullin' on her ear." She explained to him.

Dr. Morris looked confused by Deacon's presence. "It seems we have a visitor in the room."

"This is Maddie's father, Deacon Claybourne. He wanted to be here and get up to speed about Maddie's health." Rayna informed him.

"Do I need to change the name on her chart?" Dr. Morris asked.

"Yes,", "No," Deacon and Teddy spoke at the same time.

Dr. Morris cleared his throat to ease the tension. "If you need me to I can run a DNA test. I can be very discreet." He offered. He wasn't sure of the situation he just knew that it seemed very hostile between Teddy and Deacon.

"We've already had one done. We know that Deacon is her father. Let's just put that on the back burner for now. I really think that we should just focus on Maddie for right now." Rayna rubbed her temples.

Deacon bounced Maddie up and down on his knee again. She was starting to get very fussy. "If you could check her out that would be great."

"Maybe you shouldn't boss the doctor around like you're uncivilized." Teddy grumbled.

Rayna took a deep breath to keep from killing her husband.

Dr. Morris sanitized his hands and stooped down to Maddie's level. "Hey, Maddie, what's going on with you?"

Maddie fussed and buried her face in Deacon's chest.

Dr. Morris put her stethoscope to her chest and listened to her lungs. He looked into her nose and ears before he straightened up. "She for sure has an ear infection, but her lungs and everything sound good."

"What do we do for that?" Deacon asked.

"I'm gonna proscribe some antibiotics and eardrops." Dr. Morris answered.

"Ok, that sounds good. Is there anythin' else we need to be doing?" Rayna asked.

"Just let her lay around and give her plenty of TLC. Make sure she had plenty of fluids. You know the drill." Dr. Morris replied.

"Alright, let's get her home then." Rayna smiled tightly.


From the doctor's office Deacon went to meet up with his sponsor. With everything that had been going on he hadn't really had a chance to take stock of things and just take it all in. He sat in a corner booth at a coffee house. His hand was wrapped around a mug of coffee and was staring down into it lost in thought.

Coleman walked into the coffee shop and slid into the booth across from Deacon. "Looking for the meaning of life?"

Deacon looked up at him his eyes full of pain. "Did you know?"

"Did I know what?" Coleman's face was a mask of confusion.

"That Rayna's little girl is mine?" Deacon's tone was accusatory.

Coleman nodded. "I knew. I didn't tell her not to tell you, but I did tell her if she wanted you to really make rehab work that she had to let you go. It was either let you go or watch you drink yourself to death."

"That wasn't your damn call to make, Cole. You're supposed to be my sponsor. You're supposed to do what is in my best interests not what you think it is. You had no right to go behind my back and tell the woman I love to break up with me. I woulda found a way to make it work the last time. It wasn't that I didn't have Rayna waitin' on me it was 'cause I found a program that worked. 'Cause of that little let him go speech I missed out on two years with my daughter. I didn't get to have with her what you had with your daughter. You had no right." Deacon shook his head agitatedly.

"Deacon, I did what I thought was gonna keep you alive. The way you were drinking only ended with her finding you dead on the floor. I didn't want you to die. I won't apologize for that." Coleman retorted.

"I trusted you. I told you things that I would have rather crawled across broken glass than tell anyone. I still spill all my secrets to you. I don't know how I'm ever gonna do that again. Ray I kinda get why she did what she did. She was scared and alone and probably had everyone tellin' her that I was no good for Maddie. For once in her life she listened 'cause she was in vulnerable place. You, I don't understand at all. You let me cry on your shoulder 'bout how difficult a time I was havin' seein' her move on and have a baby with another man. At any time you coulda ended that and given me more time with my daughter 'fore she got attached to another man." Deacon seethed.

"Deacon, I don't know what you want me to say." Coleman searched for the right words. Seeing the pain Deacon was in told him that he had done exactly the wrong thing.

"I don't want you to say anythin' we're done here. I don't wanna see you again for awhile." Deacon got up and walked out.


Rayna opened the door after the first knock. "Hey, Deacon, come on in."

"How's Maddie doin'?" Deacon walked in without acknowledging her.

"She doin' much better. Teddy's just puttin' her down in the nursery. She's been in and outta it since we left the doctor's office." Rayna answered him.

Deacon grunted at that. "I wanna see her."

"If you go in there she's gonna get all keyed up. You know what she gets like when she sees you. You're in a mood, you wanna tell me why?" Rayna could see the tension in his shoulders.

"You let my sponsor tell you to walk away from me and not tell me 'bout my daughter. That's why I'm in a mood as you called it." Deacon frowned.

"Deacon, I regret listenin' to him more than anythin'." Rayna was sincere in her statement.

"You didn't have to. I know that you were scared and alone, but you still coulda told me." Deacon crossed his arms over his chest.

"What was I supposed to do? I had everyone else in my ear tellin' me that she would be better off without you in her life. I thought 'bout it I really did. The minute I found out for sure that you were her father I wanted to end this whole charade. But, Teddy made me promise that I would never tell you. I felt obligated after everythin' that he'd done." Rayna replied.

"I always knew that you don't feel about me the way I feel about you. I never knew that you basically feel nothing." Teddy said softly. He'd walked into the room just in time to hear that.

"Teddy, you had to know what this was when we agreed to do it. We have this life that we built together, but it doesn't feel like mine. I don't know who I am anymore. The only thing I know for sure is I love bein' Maddie's momma. That's the only part of this that doesn't feel wrong." Rayna groaned.

Deacon hid a smirk behind his hand. "I don't think this has anythin' to do with me. I'm gonna go sit with my daughter while you sort this out." He excused himself.

"Rayna, what does this mean? What do you want from me?" Teddy asked.

"I want some time and some space, Teddy. That's what's best for me and for Maddie. I go back on the road in a couple weeks until then I would like for you to leave. I need to figure things out. I don't know what's gonna happen, but I know I can't even see the answer with you breathin' down my neck." Rayna told him.

"I'll get my stuff and leave then. I think we both know that I won't be back and you're gonna go crawling right back to him. Only this time when he let's you down you won't have me there to pick you back up. I would still like to see Maddie." Teddy replied.

Rayna looked unsure. "I'm not gonna cut you outta her life completely, but I have to tread carefully. If we aren't together then there's really no reason for you to be in her life. We aren't to that point yet, but if you're so sure we're doomed then it's somethin' we need to think 'bout. I will leave that ball in your court."

"I'm gonna go pack." Teddy shook his head and walked away.

Rayna found Deacon in Maddie's room in the rocker. He was staring down at her in her crib with nothing, but love in his eyes.

"How much of that did you hear?" She asked him softly.

"I heard enough. You didn't have to do that on my account." He whispered.

"I didn't do that for you. I did that for me and her. It's not fair to her to continue to live this lie and it's not fair to me to live this unfulfilled life." She told him.

"Good for you. You need to do what's best for you and for her. I won't put you on that spot by askin' what part I play in all that." He replied.

"You are always gonna be in my life one way or another. And you're damn sure gonna be there for our daughter. I think the rest we will figure out as it comes. I need time and you need time. I don't wanna rush into somethin' else." Rayna spoke gently.

"That sounds like a good idea. I need you to know that no matter what I'm always gonna love you and I will always be there for you both. I told ya she's the first person I've ever loved more than you. It scares me a little bit. I love you intensely and I feel ten times that for her." Deacon smiled a little.

"I know the feeling. This thing between us has always been so damn intense and the minute I laid eyes on her I felt that and then some. I loved her for bein' her and I loved her 'cause she's part of you. I love that you're her daddy. I love that you made me a momma." Rayna smiled too.

"Have you been happy these last couple years?" He looked up at her intently.

"I've been happy to be her momma, but I haven't been that happy in my personal life." She admitted.

"I'm sorry that I drove you to that. All I've ever wanted is your happiness." He took his part of the blame for the things that had gone down.

"And I'm sorry for what I did to you." She took his hand and squeezed it.

Teddy walked into the room and he snorted in disgust when he saw them holding hands. He knew that he didn't stand a chance no matter what Rayna said. "I want to say bye to Maddie." He walked over to her crib and bent over. He pressed a gentle kiss to her head. "Bye, sweet girl, no matter what I will always love you." He turned around with tears in his eyes and walked out of the room then out of the house.

Rayna let out a loud sigh. "Will you be ok if I leave you alone with her for a few hours?"

"Ray, you already know the answer to that." Deacon told her.

"I just need to get out of here. I need to go talk to my sister. I don't know what else to do right now." Rayna rubbed her temples.

"Go, I will be fine. I have her medicines and I know what to do with her." Deacon assured her.

"Thank you," Rayna smiled gratefully.

"I'm her daddy you don't have to thank me." Deacon told her. She should have known that he would do anything for his two girls.


A/N: Here is the next chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Until next time please review.