AUTHOR'S NOTE
I noticed a mistake in a previous chapter. The cute little nurse was listed as Nurse Sweetheart (or Sweet Heart), but the nurse in question was actually Nurse Redheart. Dates in this story will be based off of the Equestrian calendar comparison posted on Deviant Art by Superfortress78. Not long to go until the FIM canon begins. And remember, you're all my very best friends! Sorry, cheese is done.
I awoke to a furry white muzzle filling my vision, the sweet scented breath barely ghosting over my cheeks. I released a manly yelp of surprise and managed to jolt myself completely off the other side of the bed. My growl of pained annoyance caused the benevolent monarch to gasp in what I hope was concern.
"Jackson, are you alright", she gasped while reaching a wing out toward me.
"Yeah", I groaned, rubbing my head before glaring at her. "What the fuck did you put in my food?!"
"A sedative", she replied evenly, "to help you sleep, of course."
Slowly I stood, the recently mended muscles in my back screaming at me. A growl slipped out of me as I rubbed my lower back and stretched to my full height. The flicker of anger mixed with concern and something unidentifiable was gone even faster than it appeared.
"Jackson, we need to speak."
"No shit", I laughed sarcastically.
The princess's left eyelid twitched, just barely, but it was noticeable. She took in a deep breath, held it for a few seconds and slowly released it. Her horn lit up and two comfy looking couches popped into existence. I cautiously sat down, leaping right back up as a shiver raced up my spine and into my brain.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"What happened", Celestia flinched, her left ear dropping flat to her skull as her eyes shot open.
"That damn shivery thing again", I shouted as I scrubbed my fingers through my hair. "Ya make any progress with that yet?"
"I have", she said quietly, her eyes drooping closed. "Do you know anything of magic? Of our history?"
"Um, only that you guys with horns are the only ones that can do it", I replied slowly. "And are you kidding me?! I don't know a thing about my own history, so how in the blue hell am I supposed to know anything about the history of equine midgets?!"
The princess cocked an eyebrow at me, standing still as a statue as her mane and tail waved in a phantom breeze. It seemed she was considering which of my pathetic little dreams to crush beneath her hooves. After several uncomfortably silent seconds she took a breath and actually sighed.
"Jackson, are you familiar with the term 'golem' by any chance", she quietly asked.
"No, no", I said loudly. "No no, no no no. "You mean to tell me I'm some kind of soulless puppet?! FUCK YOU!"
"Calm down", she cried out, using her magic to snatch me over to her and wrap her forelegs and wings around me in a warm hug. At first I struggled to get away, biting her wing a couple times before something upstairs slipped and my body quit responding.
"I'm so sorry", she whispered as she stroked the black strands of my hair from my face. "I can't even imagine your anguish right now, Jackson. What I say is true, no matter how difficult to accept."
"I'm a puppet", I murmured.
That definitely explains why I don't remember a fucking thing. But if that's the case then how do I know what I know? How am I able to feel without a soul?
"You are not a puppet", Celestia said forcefully. "You are Jackson, no more and no less."
"But I'm a creature animated by some kind of fucked up magic with no soul."
"Only the truly soulless can ignore a tearful request from sweet Fluttershy", the Great White Mare smiled knowingly. "Yes, I was witness to that encounter."
"And you still knocked the crap outta me?!"
"My protective instincts took over", she blushed.
"Whatever, no worries", I shrugged.
"If you say so", she said slowly as she released her hold on me.
"Okay", I sighed. "I'm a golem created by someone for some reason that I have no clue what it is. That alley's a dead end, so hell, bring on the boring!"
"Beg pardon", Celestia asked with a cocked eyebrow. "This just happens to be somewhat important."
"I'm sorry", I grinned.
"Doubtful", she huffed. "A long time ago, the world was plagued by disharmony. Brother fought against brother, father against son. Life was difficult for all."
"What caused the disharmony", I asked.
"The world's hardships were caused by the Demon of Chaos, a draconequus named Discord. His chaotic powers caused all manner of problems, from small nuisances such as frizzy manes to the destruction of priceless artifacts and historical tomes."
"So how did he get stopped?"
"Patience", she smiled. "There was not much that the diarchy could-"
"The what now?"
"Diarchy", she sighed. "It means having two separate but equal rulers. As I was saying, there was not much the diarchy could do by themselves to stop Discord, but the elder of the two rulers found powerful magic in the Elements of Harmony."
"Cool", I grinned.
"Indeed. With these artifacts the two rulers brought their magic together and after a fierce battle Discord was defeated and imprisoned within stone. Since that day Equestria has been at peace."
"Okay, so what happened to the other ruler?"
"She was… lost to us", she sighed as several emotions flashed across her face.
"Okay", I said quietly. "So what makes this history so important to me?"
Without a word her horn lit up and pulled the hospital gown off of me, the princess giggling as I self-consciously covered my genitals. Her horn pressed against my outer thigh producing a blinding flash.
"Our history is now yours as well", she replied as she motioned to my thigh.
I glanced down and was surprised to see something on my skin. I reached down and traced the design consisting of the outline of eight arrows radiating out from a single point. I checked my other thigh and sure enough another mark was there.
"Dafuq is that?!"
"They are called Cutie Marks", she said quietly, "and have only been seen on ponies. Never on another sapient creature, though."
"So how do I have one? I ain't no pony!"
"Oh, you're definitely somepony", she smiled. "I dare say you're somepony special."
"Why am I special", I asked exasperatedly.
"Because that", she replied as she brushed my hip, "is almost the exact same mark that Discord has."
"Ya gotta be joking", I nearly shouted.
"If only I were, Jackson", Celestia sighed again.
"So if I have his mark", I asked, "what does that mean for me?"
"Whatever you wish for it to", she replied as she stroked my hair. "You are not like other ponies, so your mark should have no control over your destiny."
"Well, nothing for it now", I sighed. "What about that shivery thing?"
"That was more… worrisome", the princess hesitated.
"Why?"
"Because", she explained, "there are two types of magic in the world. There are spells, which must be studied and practiced, and there is true magic."
"What's the difference", I asked.
"True magic needs only an idea and belief", she replied. "The ability for true magic has fallen out of use due to the simpler nature of spells. Simpler, but less powerful. There were only three beings in existence that could use true magic. Discord was one of them."
"Uh huh", I said slowly. "That still doesn't explain the shivering or how to stop it."
"You can't", she chuckled. "I should have remembered when you explained the feeling, but it has been quite some time since I last learned anything magical."
"So I'm gonna shiver every time I learn a new kind of magic?"
"Yes."
"But it happened when you were healing me", I reasoned. "It also happened when my tray of food showed up. And when I sat down on this couch!"
"Then apparently", she gasped, "you learn spells the same way you learn true magic!"
"Hmmm."
"Jackson", she said as she stood, "try to summon a chair."
"Can you make me some clothes first", I asked, motioning to my nudity.
"I'm sorry", Celestia blushed. "We aren't used to clothing being a necessity."
"Yeah, well I don't have fur."
"But-", she began, pointing toward my hands.
"JUST MAKE THE CLOTHES PLEASE", I said loudly, sighing happily as a flowing outfit appeared on my body. "Thank you."
I concentrated as hard as I could, picturing a simple wooden chair. I held the image in my mind for the longest time before I huffed out a breath and opened my eyes.
"I can see it in my mind, but nothing else is happening", I muttered.
"Think of it as the chair floating forth from a thick fog", she offered. "That was how I first managed to summon."
I groaned and closed my eyes, doing as she suggested. I saw the chair slowly coming into view and gaining substance before I heard a happy gasp and a flutter of wings. Quickly I opened my eyes and smiled as I saw the gigantic chair taking up most of the floor. Then my smile dropped flat.
"Why is this thing so huge", I growled.
"Very good for your first try", Celestia smiled. "It is important to take into account the size of the object you are summoning, as well. Try to banish it."
I stared at the chair before wishing I would never see it again. To my surprise the gigantic chair vanished with a crack. I turned to Celestia and stared.
"Excellent", she cooed. "Now, where did you send it?"
"I don't know", I replied. "I was just wishing I would never see it again and poof!"
"Really", Celestia said as she flinched. "With just a thought you say?"
"Yeah."
Celestia rose and walked around the room for a few seconds before she glanced back at me.
"Did you feel the magic when I teleported us here", she asked.
"Yeah, why?"
"Envision the two of us back in the hospital wing", she ordered as she walked up to me.
I closed my eyes and saw the two of us standing in the hallway of the hospital wing. Smells of linens and disinfectant flooded into my nose. The scene around me became clearer, allowing me to see a familiar white pony with a light pink mane and tail walking toward me. A loud pop and startled squeal made my eyes snap open to see that same pony shaking on the floor.
"Nurse Redheart", I called, reaching down to help her up with one hand.
"Oh my goodness", she gasped as she straightened her cute little nurse hat, her light blue eyes going wide. "Your Highness!"
Celestia chuckled before commanding the flustered nurse to rise. Her eyebrow quirked yet again as she looked at me. The three of us began walking down the corridor before Celestia spoke again.
"Nurse Redheart, would you be so kind as to accompany us", the magical maned mare asked sweetly.
"I'd be honored", she beamed.
"Where we headin' to", I asked.
"Records department", Celestia replied.
"Why is that", I asked hesitantly.
"To register your 'birth', as it were", Celestia smiled as Nurse Redheart grinned.
"Oh, shit."
"Oh, come now, Jackson", Celestia laughed as I groaned. "It really isn't that awful of a process. Besides, Fluttershy and her farming friend are going to be here to help."
"Okay."
My mind raced in circles as the two mares beside me made pleasant small talk. I stared ahead, focusing on the farthest end of the corridor. I had the faintest thought of being at that spot and a loud pop made me blink. When I opened my eyes I found my nose pressed against the wall.
"Jackson", Celestia shouted as several armored Pegasus ponies surrounded me with spears.
"I didn't do anything wrong", I shouted.
"GUARDS, STAND DOWN", Celestia shouted in a booming voice.
Slowly the guards backed away but kept their spears at the ready. The tiny nurse picked her way through the crowd and was staring up at me before she gasped. She snatched a cloth out of nowhere and hopped up on her hind legs to dab the cloth against my nose which I hadn't noticed was bleeding. An indecipherable look crossed Celestia's face before she thanked the nurse and dismissed the guards.
"Do not do that again within the palace walls", Celestia warned quietly. "Had I not been there, you may have been killed as an assassin."
"No poofing in the palace", I quipped. "Got it."
Before long the three of us made it to the records department with no difficulties. As we walked in the door I was rushed by a yellow and pink blur that seemed to mold into place across my chest before I realized it was Fluttershy. I returned the hug and she flitted back to her friend, who was seated at the table with an older graying pony.
"Jackson, this is Mayor Mare", Fluttershy whispered, motioning to the mare. "She's the mayor of Ponyville, where all of my friends and I live."
"Nice to meet you, ma'am", I nodded to the mayoral mare.
"And you as well, Jackson", the professional pony replied.
"Howdy, Jackson", the country pony greeted. "My name's Applejack. I don't reckon ya'd remember me, on account o' y'all was out like a wet candle when we found ya."
"I think it was Fluttershy", I smiled.
"Well, yeah", Applejack laughed. "Scared all the color right outta tha poor girl."
"As pleasant as this meeting is", Celestia politely interrupted, "I would like to complete the registration forms so that I may return to my other duties."
As if on cue a small tan pony with a dark mane exited a small office in the corner of the room and brought a small stack of papers to the table. Without a word he set the papers in front of an empty chair and returned to his office. I sighed as I sat down in front of the papers and Celestia summoned a quill and inkpot. A quill for fuck's sake! As I stared at the papers I realized I had a problem.
"I can't read these", I said as I looked up at Celestia.
"But it's in perfect Ponish", she replied after glancing at the papers.
"I'm not a pony."
"Of course", she groaned, ignoring the questioning glances from the two Ponyville residents. "Just a moment."
Celestia's horn glowed and she tapped my forehead with it, the now familiar shiver worming its way deep into my brain. I rubbed my eyes and looked down at the papers, smiling when I could understand what I was looking at.
"Okay, let's get this over with", I smiled as Fluttershy came around the table and stood at my side.
"City of birth", I read.
"Everfree Forest", Fluttershy replied with a shiver as I wrote her answer down.
"County of birth."
"Ponyville", the shy Pegasus smiled.
"Kingdom of birth."
"Equestria."
"Okay, now for the fun part", I said. "Date of birth? I've been in the castle for the past three days, so yeah."
"You have been here for five days", Celestia corrected me. "The first two were spent unconscious in the hospital wing."
"I don't know how long he was laying there before we found him", Fluttershy whispered.
"If his physiology is anything like ours", Nurse Redheart said, "I would wager two days based on the level of dehydration."
"So a full seven days", I summarized. "Okay, what's today's date?"
"It's the twenty sixth of Rain's End", Celestia said.
"So the nineteenth of Rain's End", I confirmed.
"Eeyup", Applejack needlessly answered.
"Height, five feet ten inches, weight two hundred fifteen pounds", Nurse Redheart added.
"Race", I said quietly. "Does 'fucked if I know' count?"
"Language, Jackson", Celestia warned. "But no, we have to figure out what you are."
"Human", I suddenly blurted.
"Bless you", Fluttershy whispered, holding a napkin out to me.
"No", I groaned as I pushed her hoof away. "The term 'human' just popped into my head."
"Then I hereby decree your race to be called 'Humans'", Celestia decreed.
"Mother's name", I continued down the form. "Unknown."
"How sad", Fluttershy whimpered.
"Father's name", I said slowly.
"Discord", Celestia said instantly, ignoring the shocked gasps in the room. "No sense in hiding it. Besides, Jackson's records will be sealed immediately."
"I don't want that creep listed", I growled.
"You absolutely must have at least one parent listed", Celestia insisted.
"I'm gonna call you mom", I said as I scratched through the mother's information.
"THAT'S NOT...", Celestia began booming, but hesitated, "too bad of an idea."
"It would give a good reason for why my records are sealed", I grinned.
"Very well", the princess sighed as she materialized a completed form without any mention of Discord.
"Thanks, mom", I grinned.
"Go to your room", she said sourly, pointing a wing behind me.
"Well, fuck."
