A/N: This has moved from a trial story to one I actually might keep on. I've been getting a lot of reviews, but you know what? I'd love more! Good or bad. I want to hear whatever you have to say!


Being in Gryffindor posed its challenges over the years. Harry never quite met his father's expectations on much of anything. Especially not after the Malfoys abandoned him for the disgrace the house brought on him. Everyone who had ever surrounded him in his child turned their back on him. In first year, he withheld the Philosopher's Stone from Voldemort. Everyone was so proud of him, Professor Dumbledore in particular. But his motive was really only to keep it from his father. He was sure Professor Snape was the one trying to steal it from beneath the castle. But when he got down there, an entirely different matter was at hand.

For the second time in his life he defeated this man. And for the second time, he felt like a total idiot for it. Something in his father's eyes told him he did wrong here. There was no secret in the adoration for the Dark Lord surrounding him. Everyone had seemed to overlook the fact that he had survived as a baby when they had first met, though. But now that there was a chance the Dark Lord could once more rise to power... Things were different.

By the end of his second year, Harry had blown any chance of Draco ever speaking civilly to him again. Everyone knew that year what happened. Voldemort showed himself, and once more he was defeated by this mere boy. After this, Lucius gave Severus so much grief that he began to take it out on his son. It was a vicious cycle that only got worse with the next year.

Disobeying orders, attacking his father, rescuing a fugitive, nearly being eaten by a werewolf... The only good part of the year of meeting old classmates of his mother's. He tried not to take in the insults made towards his father, and this was actually easy to do. The things Professor Lupin and Sirius Black said about Lily were...inspiring. Some imagined, conjured up memory of all these things combined was how he even formed a corporeal patronus to save them all in the first place. It was an amazing year of him.

However, once summer arrived things backtracked for him.

"Harry Tobias, get back here!"

The boy, overtaken by teenage hormones, stamped back down the stairs and threw open the door to the living room once more. "What?"

For a moment Severus could only stare at Harry, brow knit with the confusion of his past. He had the temper of his mother. And that showed plainly in his piercing green eyes right now. It was enough to through the man off and forget what he was trying to do. In that moment of hesitation, Harry won the argument and stormed off again. Leaving this man absolutely broken.

For the longest time, Severus could only sit in the living room of their small house in Spinner's End. Sobbing. For the first time in years, he had let his guard down. The boy who looked so much like him flashed him a side of his mother that had not been seen in years. And he hadn't been ready for that. He wasn't ready for the wave of emotions that came with it. The memories that he wished he could have back.

When he finally removed himself from the floor, night had fallen. He rubbed his red eyes sorely, traipsing up the stairs to his son's room. There was no need to knock. The door was already open, Harry sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at a photo. Tears were in his eyes as well. "She was gentle to everyone," was all Severus could manage to say as he leaned against the doorframe.

"That's what Lupin said."

"What else did he say to you?"

For the longest moment it was eerily silent in the room. Harry couldn't quite muster up the courage to repeat it. But there was something different in his father's expression right now. Something told him they were done fighting for the moment. Any harsh words from earlier meant nothing. He just honestly wanted to know. "He said... Well, he didn't say much. Just...just that...she wasn't always in love with you. That...after some sort of accident, she settled for you. Is this true? Was she really in love with someone else? This James Potter?"

An icy feeling started to creep into the room. Severus' eyes went cold and dark as he remembered things he tried to keep shut out of his mind. His voice lacked emotion as he snapped out an affirmative. And although he would rather shut it away in a corner of his mind, he knew Harry would never leave him alone unless he explained better. Explained his side of it all, as opposed to the biased story he may have heard from Black or Lupin.

"Hello, Severus."

The Potions Master, then just a boy ready to grow out of his childhood, looked up from his book to find the source of the voice. He knew it by heart, and the face made him nearly swoon. Without reserve, he allowed himself a smile. But a moment later it had disappeared. It had been so long... Two years, to be exact. And now they were about to graduate. What did she want? Settling a frown on his lips, he looked away once again and tried to ignore her presence.

Easier said than done.

"Severus, I don't want us to always fight. I want what we used to have back." She sighed, settling down beside him on the cool, fresh grass. "I have wonderful news and I... I just don't know who else to share it with."

The moment he felt her hair upon his cheek, her head upon his shoulder, he broke. Severus looked at her again, forgiving her for everything. And he was sure without even uttering an apology, she had done the same for him. He breathed a soft sigh, half of relief and half of longing, then softly stroked those waves of auburn behind her ear. "If it's that you're engaged to Potter, I already know. Everyone knows." His voice was twinged with sadness and hatred for something he would never have.

"Oh, Sev..."

The way they sat in silence for the remainder of the evening, watching the sunset with one another like they were children again, was almost magical. For that time, they forgot anything outside of each other. But somewhere that had to end. They couldn't stay like this forever. Lily Evans was promised to another man and that made Severus feel dirty for even wishing otherwise.

Without a word, once the sky turned black, he stood and gathered his bag. As he tried to walk away, a gentle hand clasped onto his ankle, stopping him. He looked down, attempting to shake free. "It's no use, Severus. I'm not letting go." That didn't stop him from trying. He didn't want to be trapped here by his emotions another moment. "Please, stay. Just for the night. I'm afraid I'll never see you again. We graduate tomorrow, you know..."

Her voice. He would follow that voice anywhere. For anything. Like she was controlling him, the boy sat down again, closer to her this time. He even allowed himself to reach for her hand. There was no protest as they laced their fingers together. Tonight it was just them. They were giving themselves one free pass, since it was the last chance they would ever have.

By the morning, the two children had to force themselves to become adults. They pulled away from one another, not sharing any more traitorous kisses or lingering touches. After a stiff goodbye, they went their separate ways.

A month later, Lily showed up on Severus' doorstep. She wore a look of utter dismay, face pale and eyes red. Something had happened, she said. Something horrible. By the way she threw herself into his arms, he knew he would never have to fight for her attention again. James Potter was no longer there to win her over. And while he could tell that this was devastating for the love of his life, he couldn't help but to feel a little elated. It was selfish, but he was happy he finally won.

They attended Potter's funeral together, Lily mourning her heart out. No one had seen it coming. James Potter was known to be a bit reckless, but people didn't really expect him to lose his life over it. Fate wasn't exactly on his side the day Sirius Black caused the explosion. He ended his best friend's life along with thirteen other Muggles'. Though he went to Azkaban for it, Severus was one of the few to know he hadn't done it. In fact, he had tried to stop his friend, Peter Pettigrew, from going through with it. From completing the Dark Lord's wishes and killing Potter, simply for rejecting to join him. But Peter disappeared and left Black to take the blame.

No one would have believed him if Severus attempted to tell the truth.

After the funeral, there was no more mention of the past. Potter was eliminated from any of their thoughts and they moved on into a happy life together. Still, the thought of just narrowly getting Lily constantly bothered Severus. He would never question it, but it was wrong. He was grateful for it, but he couldn't help but to feel she had been robbed of something even he couldn't compete with...

Harry didn't speak for the longest time, frowning down at the photo in his hand. He flipped it over so Severus could see. It wasn't one he had lying around this house. This was from someone else. The man narrowed his eyes at it, turning away out of anger. The smiles the two showed in the photograph, spinning and giggling by a fountain, were more than he could handle. It sickened him.

"She seemed happy with him."

"James Potter was a pompous git!" Severus pushed off the wall, striding over and ripping the photo from Harry's fingers. "Lily deserved better than him! That boy..." He couldn't even form the words to describe how he felt about James Potter. His blood boiled, giving off a facial expression to take the place of any description he may have been able to get out.

Slowly, Harry stood and took the picture back. He stuck it in his bedside table before slipping out of the room and downstairs. "How does spaghetti sound for dinner?"

So like his mother... Severus, left there on his own, drew in a deep breath to steady himself. Why was he allowing himself to get so worked up about this whole thing? It was the past. He and Lily had decided long ago to let it be. But somehow it was finding a way back out into the open.