T'Mara hears Spock enter their home. He joins her on the love seat. Seeing his contented face, she smiles. They briefly kiss.

"It seems your visit with father went well."

"Yes, Andre is a wise and compassionate man. I told him of my addiction and also confessed what transpired between you and me on the Surak."

She looks surprised, but nods.

"T'Mara, it was amazing. His transformation from deep anger to complete understanding. He claimed it was from God. That the Almighty reminded him of what he had done to you as a child. It was mainly the memory of what he did to you when you were twelve years old."

"Yes, I remember…when I dumped his stash of vodka down the kitchen sink." She subconsciously rubs her cheek.

"Well, he has become a better man." Spock rubs his bearded chin with his thumb and forefinger. He ponders if there was any hope for his own redemption.

T'Anya, hearing her father and mother's voices, comes out of her room. "Father, did you enjoy your time with Grandfather?" She goes to the black club chair.

"Andre and I shared some regrets that we have in common. Your grandfather has a propensity for preaching."

T'Mara's eyes widened. "He preached at you?"

"I did not intend that in a negative way. He could have become a pastor."

With her hand on his knee, she lightly squeezes. "Well, I am glad your conversation was fruitful."

The rest of his family enters the living room. Spock continues chatting with his family until his body, and mind cry out for the drug that he has begun to despise. He excuses himself. He heads to his refuge. He opens the safe, then sits at the desk and prepares the hypo. He commands the computer to play music.

Hearing the music escaping from the locked office, T'Anya turns to T'Mara. "Mother...listen to the words of the song. It seems weird that he would play that song while..."

T'Mara listens intently to the song. It could be a promising sign.

…Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
'Cause I'm worn…

In the office, Spock sits at the desk, rolling his sleeve back up over his left arm. He holds the empty hypo in his right hand. He holds it right at eye level. His eyes flame as he focuses on the hypo. His right hand begins to squeeze it. The hypo begins to bend and crack under his tight grip. The metal, along with the cracked vial, cuts into his palm. He allows the broken pieces to fall onto the desk. Now his blood mixes with the leftover droplets of Paradise. He watches the droplets drip onto the desk. He then slams his left fist on the desk.

"I am a damn...fool."

He slowly rises from his chair. He shuts the safe door. He notices this time that the high he is experiencing is not as satisfying. He wonders if it was the dosage, or perhaps he subconsciously no longer desired the euphoric feeling. He loses track of time, then hears T'Mara's voice calling out his name. Dinner is ready, he presumes. He goes to the main bathroom. He rinses his right hand under the warm water, then attempts to dab his cut palm dry. He exits, then heads to the dining room and sits next to his wife. T'Mara offers her hand so they could say grace, and she notices his cuts. She does not comment. She gives the blessing. They begin passing the food to one another.

Tanya's face cringes. "Father, your hand. It…it's bleeding."

T'Mara has already left the room, and returns with the first aid kit. Calling Spock aside, she tends to the cuts and applies antibiotic ointment. As she runs a small pocket laser over the wounds to seal them, she quietly asks, "My husband, what happened?"

He drops his hand to his side. "It is nothing. Just an accident."

They both head back to the table. As Spock eats, he watches his family. Stefan, their young son, whose features are much like his own. His daughters, whom he cherishes. His beautiful wife, whose love for him ran deep. Her patience is that of the angel. His eyes travel to her waist, and the new life growing within her. Their little baby son. With a sudden loss of appetite, he drops his fork onto his plate.

T'Mara turns to face him. "Is the food not agreeable?"

He fronts a small smile. The drug usually causes him to have a hearty appetite. "No T'Mara, it is quite agreeable. I will probably finish my meal later tonight. I need to clean the mess I left in the office." He gets up from his chair and leaves his family alone.

T'Meika's heartfelt eyes search her mother's face. "It hurts me, seeing Father...so different."

T'Anya helps Stefan clean his face with his napkin. She wonders how their father's odd behavior will affect him. She too looks at her mother. "Oh, Mom…what can we do to help him?"

"Yes, it hurts your mother also. T'Anya, just pray for him tonight. Keep hoping that what your grandfather shared with your father will affect him in a positive way."

"Yes, Mother, I will pray." T'Anya assures her.

T'Meika's faith has never been as strong as her younger sister's. She was much like her father. So she wonders if prayer was the answer, but she adds, "Me, too. I will pray."

As they clean up the kitchen, T'Mara gets an unnerving sense that something ominous was going to happen that night. She shakes her head, as if to push the unpleasant feeling away. She begins singing a praise song. After finishing the chores, they proceed to the living room.

Spock enters the room carrying a case. "T'Mara, would you like to play an old-fashioned game of chess?"

She agrees. He sits down, then places the case on the coffee table. Inside is the antique chess board that T'Mara gave him on his last birthday. She could not help but smile.

"Black or white?" he asks.

"Black."

He turns the board around, so the black pieces are closer to her. T'Anya, seeing her parents are about to play, gets off the floor to sit in the club chair. Stefan gathers his stuffed bear and sits next to his mother on the sofa. T'Meika joins him. With padd in hand, she begins writing her deepest thoughts in her journal.

As the game goes on, Spock's mind loses focus on the game. He begins to revisit the words shared by Andre.

T'Mara moves her bishop. "Checkmate!"

He just stares at the board. "Huh? Ah, yes." He topples over his king.

T'Mara feels that the game ended too soon and her victory was too easy. "Is everything alright?"

Spock is still staring at the board. "Hm…" Then he acknowledges his wife. "Yes, but I need to do something." He gets up.

Her eyes follow him. "Okay, my love. I'm going to read for a while."

T'Anya stands and takes hold of Stefan's hand. "Come, little boy, it's past your bedtime." She faces her mom. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Sis." T'Meika goes back to her writing.

T'Mara places her padd on her lap. She starts reading a fictional Amish story. But thoughts of her husband's addiction made it difficult for her to concentrate on the romance of the young Amish girl and her forbidden English beau.

Meanwhile, Spock enters the meditation room with hesitation, as if it was his very first time. He goes to the small black dresser. He presses a button and a drawer opens, revealing his meditation robe. He pulls it out and holds it in his hands.

"It has been a long time, my friend," he mutters to himself.

He pulls the robe over his head, then commands the lights to dim. He lights the meditation candles. He kneels on the pad. He closes his eyes and tries to clear his mind. He is able to relax, but he cannot achieve a full meditation state. Even so, he prays, "Oh Supreme Father, I wish to have this addiction removed from me…" He breathes in, then gradually lets his breath go. "No matter what it might cost me."

He is not aware that T'Anya is praying at the same time.

Sitting on her bed, she bows her head. "Oh Lord, please take away this drug from my father. Take away any access to the drug. I know you are able to do this, for all is possible with you. I no longer wish to see my father addicted to the quastene. This has been painful for my mother. I see her eyes, Lord – the pain this horrible drug has caused her. We love him. I know you love him. I believe, Lord. Amen."

T'Anya ends her prayer. She goes to the window to view the stars. "I do believe, Jesus," she whispers. She enters her inviting bed. She brings the covers up to her chin and closes her eyes.

In the office, Spock continues his prayer. "Creator of the universe, hear this desperate man. This man who has caused heartache to the ones closest to him. No more. No more pain, lies or secrets. I am ready to repent and return to you. Amen." He stands and removes the black velvet robe. He folds the robe, then places it in the top drawer. He blows out the candles.

Later that night, T'Mara readies herself for bed. Spock is already under the covers when she snuggles up next to him. In the dim light, she studies his eyes and it seems that he has changed for the better. Or was it hopeful thinking?

He touches her shoulder. "T'Mara...I truly love you."

She takes her two fingers and caresses the side of his face. "You know, Spock, the moment I first saw you, I wanted you. You had me then and now, forever." Their lips meet with love.

"T'Mara, your beauty has endured. And now that you are pregnant with our child, you are even more beautiful." Their lips meet again.

"You might not think so when my stomach expands and I need help getting out of bed." She places her head on his pillow.

Spock moves his body closer to hers. He places his hand on her waist. His fingers begin tracing her stomach. "And yet your husband has seen his wife during each of her pregnancies and saw her as an exquisitely beautiful woman." He moves his hand from her waist to the side of her face. "My aisha, are you up to making sweet love to her husband?"

Her eyes twinkle. "My angel, yes."

oooooo

Spock rouses from a dream. He sits up so quickly, he becomes lightheaded. He sways as he stands, but is able to regain his balance. His heart begins to palpitate. He takes a deep breath, hoping to settle his heart down. He does not quite succeed. He staggers to the office and unlocks the door. He goes to the safe. He enters the passcode, and the safe door opens. The only items in the safe are medals, a diskette with T'Mara's and his last will and testament, and his mother's wedding band. The syringes are gone. The herbs to create Paradise are also gone. Impossible, he thinks, for yesterday he had checked his supply. There was enough to last him for a month.

A headache forms in front of his head. He cannot seem to remember the formula for Paradise. He goes to the desk and taps the computer screen. He scrolls to locate his secret formula. The folder is empty. The computer informs him that the formula has been deleted. He clenches his hands. He abruptly stands, which causes the chair to roll against the wall. Irrational anger roils through him. He picks up the desk chair and hurls it against the wall. It splits into two pieces. He then places his hands under the center edge of the desk. He lifts it up, and with one quick movement tosses it to its side. All its contents scatter onto the floor.

In his bedroom, Stefan wakes from the noise of crashing furniture. He begins crying out for his mother. In the other bedroom, both girls wake with a jolt. "What was that!" T'Anya exclaims.

T'Meika is now sitting up. "It sounded like furniture crashing."

In the master bedroom, T'Mara swings her legs over the side of the bed and commands the lights on. She throws on her robe. Judging by the noise, her husband is tossing furniture about. She hears Stefan crying. She is about to go to him when Spock bursts into the room, looking furious. He strides toward her and grabs hold of her upper arms. She catches her breath as his fiery eyes bore into her.

"T'Mara! It's all gone! My formula, hypos, vials, and even the herbs. How did you do it, my wife?" His fingers press hard into her flesh.

"I didn't," she replies with unusual calmness. "You know very well, I haven't had access to your office since we returned. You never shared the passcode with me."

"You are a very intelligent lady, T'Mara. With motivation, you could figure out the code. You poured out your father's alcohol, and now you think that removing the drug will force me to give it up." His voice grinds with anger.

"I didn't touch your precious quastene. I was twelve when I poured out my father's vodka. I've learned since then that it doesn't help to rid an addict of his stash." She manages to keep composed, despite the pain from his fingers.

"Perhaps you need an incentive to confess the truth." His right hand draws back, and he slaps her face. The hit causes her to lose her footing. He steadies her, but not out of kindness.

"Please…I swear, I didn't touch any of it!"

"Is more incentive needed, T'Mara?" He is about to swing his arm again when someone pulls on it. He looks down, surprised to see T'Anya's pale but determined face.

"Father…" she begs, "please don't hurt Mother. It was me."

He stares down at her. "Do not lie to me. You don't have the means to enter the office, let alone break into the safe."

Tears fill her eyes. "I'm not lying. I prayed to God. He gave me the courage to go to your office. When I went to the door, it was already unlocked. Inside, I found that the safe was open. I removed all the herbs and hypos. I dumped them into the kitchen disposer and then I pressed the button. They were vaporized. I believed, and God answered my prayers. Father, I love you. I couldn't stand watching you change before my eyes."

Spock releases his hold on T'Mara. He goes over in his mind everything he did before going to bed. He had rechecked all the locks. Everything was secure.

T'Mara gazes at him. With some trepidation she discloses, "I also made certain that the office door was locked. I just…did not want any of our children entering, for their safety."

Spock stands frozen. He was not annoyed that his wife came behind him checking on his office door, for the last thing he would want was their offspring walking in on him or snooping around. But if he and T'Mara both checked the door, how did T'Anya enter his office? His voice becomes sharp and demeaning. "T'Anya, you must have had help. Was it T'Meika?"

T'Anya shook her head. "Father…this drug has taken away your logic. But is it really so illogical that God answered my prayers? No one but the Lord helped me. It's true!"

His eyes travel to his daughter, then to his wife. Then like rushing flood water, the memory of what he had prayed that evening came to his mind. He had asked the Lord to remove the drug from him at any cost. It would seem that on this night, two prayers were answered.

His voice trembles. "T'Anya, I believe you. And I ask for forgiveness."

She wraps her arms around her father's waist. "Oh Father, I do forgive you."

Spock's trembling fingers land on his daughter's small shoulder. "Keep praying. Your father will need God's loving support to get him through the withdrawal process."

T'Mara takes T'Anya by the hand. "Come." She walks her out and finds T'Meika standing just outside the open door, in the hallway. She closes the door behind them.

T'Meika wraps her arms around her younger sister. "Oh, little Sis, what you did was so brave. Dad could have hurt you."

All the tears she has held back finally leave T'Anya's eyes. She sniffles, then responses, "Dad's going to get better now."

T'Meika's eyes also swim with tears. "Yes...I truly hope that is the case." She faces her mother. "I was able to get Stefan back to sleep." She then notices her mother's bruised cheek. "Will you be alright?"

"I am not sure I can honestly answer that now. It's going to be a long night, or should I say morning? I'm contacting your grandfather; he'll help. Both of you best go to your room. Try to sleep if you can."

"What about school?" T'Anya asks.

"Set your alarm. It might be best if you go to school, for it won't be very pleasant here."

Both nod and head to their bedroom.

T'Mara goes to the living room to retrieve her padd. She sends her father a top priority signal.

"T'Mara...what has happened?" he groggily answers.

"I need you and T'Sora. Spock is withdrawing cold turkey, and I won't be able to handle him alone."

"Oh! Okay, T'Mara, we will be there ASAP. Hang in there."

Next, T'Mara contacts her cousin Anthony, for they will need a strong man to help with Spock. She briefly explains the situation. Anthony tells T'Mara that he would catch the first flight from Philly.

After sending one more message, she puts aside her padd and returns to the bedroom. Spock is sitting at the end of the bed. His head is buried in his hands. He is now wearing sweatpants and a shirt. She sits down beside him. She touches his shoulder.

He could not face her at the moment. "T'Mara I...I promised that I would never hurt you."

"Shh. We can discuss that later. I think we have a more pressing situation to be concerned over." She brushes back his bangs and feels his damp forehead. "You are sweating."

"Yes."

She places her arm around his upper body. "You are shivering. Spock, you really should consider detoxing at a treatment center. Everything is held in strict confidentiality. Star Fleet will not hold it against you. I know, because I've counseled a couple of officers who dealt with addiction. They were able to return to their posts." She holds him close. She hopes her body heat would help him.

"All that may be true, but I am not the average fleet officer. I am... Captain Spock. I served on the finest ships of the fleet. I recall an incident with Admiral Jacobson. When he entered rehab, an employee leaked it out. Yes, Star Fleet did allow him to return, but he lost the respect of some of his subordinates and fellow officers. And that is not just a human failing; Vulcans have also been known to react with prejudice towards an addict. It is not my reputation that concerns me, but I represent Sarek's family and his forefathers. I just cannot risk it." He takes a deep breath.

T'Mara is able to keep her composure. "I thought that might be your response. I had hoped I could convince you, but I am not taking this ride alone. I've contacted my father. He and Mother should be here within an hour. Anthony is also on his way –"

Spock's head came up. "You informed him!"

"Yes, I did…and I also left a message with Stephen. Once you hit the height of your withdrawal, I won't be able to handle you by myself. Your next symptoms will be tremors, hallucinations, and severe pain. It will be hard to restrain you. T'Sora is bringing intravenous solutions to rehydrate you. She will keep a vigilant eye on your physical condition."

Spock begins coughing. She becomes worried, for it seems he is struggling to catch his breath. He finally manages to stop coughing and takes in a deep breath. "I…I am alright." He closes his eyes. He starts regulating his breathing to help with his nauseous feeling.

T'Mara strokes his cheek with her finger. He abruptly stands and leaves for the bathroom. This time nausea wins the battle. She bows her head as she hears her husband empty the contents of his stomach. She prays that her father and stepmother will arrive soon. He emerges from the bathroom, looking like death warmed over.

Climbing into the bed, he asks, "T'Mara, please lie next to me."

She goes under the covers with him. His arm wraps around her upper body. A few moments pass, and it seems that his body goes tense. He feels that every nerve ending is sending pain messages to his brain. His voice becomes taut. "T'Mara...I need you to leave now. The pain is becoming more than I can control."

Thinking that a mind touch might ease his condition, she raises her hand towards his forehead. "Perhaps I could just ..."

"No... please, it would not be wise."

"Alright." She gets out of bed. "Father and T'Sora will be here soon."

"Good...I will be alright until then." He closes his eyes. He hopes to regain the disciplines to control his discomfort. He clenches his hands as more tremors came upon him. T'Mara hesitates. Feeling her presence, he reopens his eyes. "Go," he says in a pained whisper.

She nods and leaves the room. She goes down to the kitchen to brew some herbal tea. She takes her cup and sits on the club chair. She hears her husband's movements. Then she hears him stumbling to the bathroom.

"Father, please hurry," She says softly. She wraps one hand around her gold cross pendant. She closes her eyes and prays.

Vibrations from her padd snap her from her silent prayers. She taps the screen and her father's face appears.

"We're just arriving," he tells her.

Soon, she hears two sets of footsteps approaching. She puts her cup on the coffee table. She goes to the front door, opens it wide, and embraces her father. "Oh, I'm so glad you are both here!"

T'Mara fills them in on Spock's condition as they walk upstairs to his room. Spock does not acknowledge their presence. His mind is now consumed by the agonizing need for quastene. T'Sora digs in her medical bag. She prepares the portable IV. She walks to the front of the bedside. She is about to inject the IV into Spock's arm when he shoves it away.

Andre leans over him. "Son...T'Sora needs to place an IV so your body can rehydrate."

"No," he says through his teeth.

"Son, you need this to survive." T'Sora's voice is gentle yet firm.

He does not respond, but allows her to continue. Andre pats his son's shoulder. He then turns to T'Mara. "Daughter, go get some rest. We'll handle this."

"Thank you. I'll fix some breakfast in a while." She heads back to the living room and leaves a contact message on the Commandant's padd, saying that Spock would be bedridden for the next three days. She lets him know that Dr. T'Sora will send an updated message. She leaves an identical message with Admiral Jamieson, adding that she also needs to take family leave. She then lies down on the sofa.

A few moments later T'Anya shakes T'Mara's shoulders "Mother...Mother, wake up."

T'Mara rubs her eyes. She sees her daughter's frightened face. "What's wrong?"

"I'm scared. I heard Father yelling at Grandfather. I peeked into the room, and I saw Grandfather struggling to hold him down on the bed," her voice quivers.

T'Mara sits up. "It's what happens while withdrawing from an addictive drug. But everything will be alright."

T'Meika enters, rubbing her eyes. "Come on, Sis, back to bed. I'll have the computer play some soft music in our room."

T'Anya's weary eyes look to her sister, and they head up the stairs.

By the time Anthony arrives, Spock is resting quietly, thanks to a careful mind-touch by T'Sora. Food is on the kitchen table for all who wish to eat. The children greet their cousin before T'Mara takes him upstairs to Spock. Spock appears to be sleeping. Andre sits in a corner of the bedroom, his shirt rumpled and his forearms bruised.

"Uncle Andre, you look like you could use some rest," Anthony speaks very quietly as he holds his hand out to him.

They clasp hands. "Anthony, you are so right. Let me go over what to expect." In a low voice, Andre informs him of everything that had transpired in recent hours.

"Go, get some sleep. I got this." He looks to Spock. "I hope," he mutters.

Downstairs, T'Mara gathers her children, leaves T'Sora in charge, and then drives them to school. Their first stop is Star Fleet Daycare. She walks Stefan inside and tells him, "Have a good day. I'll come for you at my normal time."

He peers up at his mother's face. Although she has disguised her bruises with makeup and appears to be calm, the young boy feels there is something wrong. "Mommy...is Daddy okay now?"

T'Mara strokes his cheek with two fingers. "Daddy is still sick, but Grandmother T'Sora and Grandfather will help him getter better. I need to take your sisters to school now. So, bye."

"Bye-bye, Mommy." He walks over to a couple of his friends.

The short ride to high school was a quiet one. At last, T'Mara stops at the designated drop off point. She looks at T'Meika, who is nibbling her lower lip. "Try not to worry, honey."

T'Meika shrugs. "I can't help but wonder if Father will ever be the same."

Before T'Mara can respond, T'Anya replies in a positive tone. "He's gonna be fine. You'll see, he will be back to the dad we have always known."

Her older sister is not in the mood for T'Anya's carefree attitude. "Why don't you shut up!"

"T'Meika!" her mother scolds.

T'Meika barely manages to hold back tears. "Sorry, Mom...sorry, T'Anya. But seeing him hurt you last night…it breaks my heart."

T'Mara understands her daughter's feelings. "I know...it is hard. But try to remember that God is working on him. Now, you better get going. Try to have a good day."

She lightly embraces her mom, then she turns around. "Have a good day, Sis."

"Bye, T'Meika." She smiles.

T'Mara and T'Anya drive on to the middle school.