Sousuke found himself over at Seijuro's apartment more often than he was home. He was almost a third roommate, usually sleeping over there even when Seijuro's actual roommate was present.

Seijuro's roommate probably would've minded more (he had complained a few times), if Sousuke didn't do things like clean and cook for them. Seijuro and his roommate weren't necessarily slobs, cleanliness was simply not on the forefront of their minds. And while Sousuke wasn't much of a chef, Seijuro and his roommate were much worse - often too lazy to even make instant ramen.

Sousuke was hovering over the pot placed on the single burner oven, watching the noodles and water boil. He had been awake for the past hour which he spent exercising and occasionally kicking Seijuro to see if he had woken up yet.

The redhead's roommate was out at work, so Sousuke took the liberty of making himself truly at home by comfortably wearing shorts and nothing else. It wasn't especially hot, but the temperature easily rose in a small space stuffed with three big guys.

Sousuke jumped a bit as two strong arms wrapped around his stomach.

"You surprised me," Sousuke half-yawned, turning the heat of the burner down.

Seijuro placed a soft kiss on his lover's neck before asking, "Whatcha making?"

"Ramen."

Seijuro laughed. "No, you're not."

"What do you mean? Of course I am. Look."

Seijuro moved around Sousuke to stare at the noodles in the pot and laugh even more.

"What're you doing? Put the flavoring in," Seijuro said, reaching for the silver packet placed on the counter.

"No," Sousuke replied definitively, slapping Seijuro's hand away. "Not yet."

"You're ruining it, the noodles are supposed to boil in the soup!"

"It's better if you pour the water out after cooking the noodles and put the flavoring right on them."

"But then you can't add any egg. Add the flavoring now!"

"No! The egg can be cooked separately."

"There's no way! The egg should be beaten then poured into the soup while the ramen cooks!"

"A fried egg should be placed on top of the ramen so the yolk can be broken while you eat...!"

"Are you crazy? The best part of ramen with egg is finding egg bits throughout the entire thing!"

"If I add seasoning now, the soup will be beef flavored, but the noodles'll taste like shit."

"The package tells you how to make the ramen! Why would it lie?" With this argument, Seijuro picked up the foil packet of flavoring and tore it open.

"What are you doing?"

"I won't let you ruin this ramen!"

"Stop! You're the one ruining it!"

As they scuffled over the packet, Sousuke bumped into the pot's handle, sending it crashing to the floor, boiling hot water and noodles and all.


Bundles of plastic baggies filled with ice rested on their feet as they quietly ate the pizza Seijuro ordered.

Sousuke used this time to glare steadfastly at Seijuro who would occasionally say things like "Great weather, right?" and "This pizza isn't bad," but never "I'm sorry and you're way of making ramen was clearly superior to my own idiotic style" which is what Sousuke wanted to hear.


Sousuke laid on his bed and Seijuro laid on Sousuke, the redhead's cheek resting on Sousuke's chest. Seijuro hugged Sousuke's waist, warmth buzzing comfortably through his body.

"You asleep?" Seijuro asked.

"No, just thinking," Sousuke replied, eyes closed.

"About what?"

"How annoying you are," Sousuke said with smirk-filled laughter.

"You're not cute at all," Seijuro complained.

Sousuke sat up and looked down at his lover. "I'm a man, I'm not supposed to be cute."

"That's too bad because you're actually the cutest," Seijuro said, lifting up to place to a quick peck on Sousuke's nose.

Sousuke's face burned red as he covered his nose. "You just said I'm not cute at all…"

"I was kidding," Seijuro stuck out his tongue playfully before loosely wrapping his arms around Sousuke's neck and placing a stronger kiss to his lips.

"Cut it out," Sousuke groaned when they parted. His gaze drifted off. "I don't want to go too far or something…"

"Then let's go to a hotel," Seijuro suggested with half-lidded eyes.

"I don't want to do any of that yet," Sousuke said. "At all."

Seijuro blinked then cocked his head to the side. "What?"

"I don't want to like have sex or anything for a while."

"...what?" Seijuro repeated like something in his brain short circuited.

Sousuke gulped, knowing they would have to have this conversation sooner or later.

"Even though we've already done it before," he said. "I want to move at normal relationship pace."

Seijuro merely stared for a few moments then nodded. "I can do that."

"Can you really?" Sousuke deadpanned.

"Yeah. Normal relationship pace. I can totally do that."


"I lied, I can't do that. Roommate's gone. Please come over," Seijuro said into the phone.

"Oh my god, you're trash," Sousuke groaned sleepily.

"I can't stop thinking about you," Seijuro whined, rolling around on his apartment floor. "Pleaseee."

"Goodnight," Sousuke said, hanging up his cellphone.

Not since his teenage years had Seijuro spent so much time jerking off.


After class one day, Sousuke decided to drop by Seijuro's place, but he arrived right when his boyfriend had to go to work. Sousuke hung out there, waiting for Sei's return. He didn't mind being all by himself in an apartment that wasn't his, he'd done it a few times before when Seijuro had to run and get something or meet with a friend for a second.

Sousuke took the opportunity to straighten up for the roommates, stumbling across a pile of pens and papers on the floor, an area that Seijuro labeled his "work desk." It wasn't for work or a desk, but Sousuke and Sei's roommate accepted it for what it was.

It was this spot where Seijuro drew tattoo designs with notebooks open from the courses he was taking in order to get his certificate approving him of being able to legally tattoo.

Sousuke was shocked by what he saw, pulling out an older picture from a pile then gazing at the image Seijuro was currently working on. Not only was the growth in skill extremely obvious, but the newer design was just so beautiful. It was creative and meaningful and incredibly detailed. Sousuke was astounded, excited to flip through Seijuro's latest pieces. What he found was that each individual work was unique yet kept to the same style. Each masterpiece was filled to the brim with detail, the attention put into every work was clear. Also, the love put into them was clear.

These designs weren't just copy and paste concepts, pulled from a book or the internet - they were Seijuro's overflowing emotions and enthusiasm pouring out onto pages in the form of bursting colors and expressive images.

Sousuke then noticed several balled up papers, that he had made a mental note to throw away. But now, he was curious as to what was on them. Unraveling the pages, he found they all had the same image - A grey rock with golden waves crashing upon it. Over and over it was drawn, each time, it still ended up crumpled and rejected. Some we're just outlines, others seemed to be finished products, but they all had one moving similarity. On the back, Seijuro had jotted down "For Sousuke."

Part of Sousuke thought of how he probably shouldn't have seen this, maybe it was meant to be a surprise, but mostly he thought of how Seijuro would have to do quite a bit of convincing before he would get a tattoo.

Sousuke figured why stop the snooping train and went on to poke around more of Seijuro's stacks of folders and papers.

Getting through the mediocre doodles of tattoos from years past and old tests from college, Sousuke found more interesting things.

Those old tests and essays had really good scores. And Seijuro's final transcripts? Outstanding grades. Going deeper he even found notes of Seijuro breaking his old college's swimming records and being basically top 5% for both swimming and grades. He was a really impressive student. One of the best.

Sousuke felt something in between pride and anger. Seijuro had been doing incredibly well. He had been recognized for his accomplishments and was extremely successful in all his pursuits. Why had he given it up for tattooing? Something that was still reviled by mainstream Japanese society? Something that he had only recently showed any major interest in? Something that Sousuke was sure wouldn't give him the rush that swimming could?

He hadn't been aware of how much time he had spent going through his lover's things and contemplating these questions until Seijuro opened the door letting out a loud sigh.

"Boy, was tonight crazy!" Seijuro laughed, taking off his shoes and closing the door behind him. He paused the story he was about to tell, staring at Sousuke sitting amongst strewn about papers. "Uh, what are you doing?"

Sousuke stood, stormed over to Seijuro and grabbed him by the collar.

"Why?" he asked with his head hung low. "Why did you leave your school and quit swimming when you were doing so…"

Seijuro blinked at Sousuke who was too conflicted to complete his sentence.

"Sou, I wasn't happy," Seijuro explained.

"Happy?" Sousuke marched over to his transcripts and swimming times, snatching them up. "How could this not have made you happy? You were perfect!"

"I know, it sucked," Seijuro muttered, plopping down in front of the television. "I already told you that I figured out I didn't want to swim as a career, that it was ruining swimming for me."

"But to be honest," Sousuke said, taking up a seat next to his partner. "I thought maybe you were doing badly, maybe things were going differently than how you envisioned."

"Nope," Seijuro said casually, setting up a game system to play. "Things were going pretty fuckin' swell."

"Then why?"

"I already said," Seijuro groaned. "I wasn't happy. Maybe it was my ego, but I felt like I was already the best, leaping into the water to do the same thing over and over. Winning stopped being fun. The connection to it all was lost. This thing that I'd thrown my entire being into… I didn't love it anymore."

Seijuro's voice dropped into something very sad.

"You remember that time," he went on. "Of course I tried to keep myself happy around others back then, but I bore out my true feelings to you - how as my drive towards swimming slowly died, my drive towards body mod grew."

Sousuke looked at the papers in his hands. Numbers ranking, rating, judging - stating the worth of a person, their intelligence, their skill. This wasn't Seijuro. Confined to the emotionless and repetitive school life that came along with his swimming. The multiple competitions ending all the same way. Then Sousuke looked to the drawings across the room - bursting with life and flavor. A twisted ride with hearts and souls as the passengers, all displayed for the world to see so that maybe the world could understand Seijuro a little better. And Sousuke realized he didn't understand Seijuro as much as he thought he did.

"Why tattoos?" Sousuke asked, the papers slipping from his hands in an attitude akin to defeat.

Seijuro thought for a moment, game controller in his hand. He closed his eyes as he felt his words from the inside out.

"Because after having the epiphany that swimming isn't my passion," Seijuro began. "I found out that passion is."

"Huh?"

"I love emotion. I love feeling. Art is a physical bearing of your innermost soul. Someone wishes to bear their soul on their skin for eternity? That's beautiful. A devotion to passion so strong that you want to become a mural for it? That is the embodiment of feeling! When you're tattooing, there's just the imagination of your design, the most sacred kind of canvas - your body is your temple or whatever - and the needle. With just these three things you pull at the love, anger, sadness, anything lurking in someone's core and paint it onto their body until they feel beautiful or until they remember something they feared forgetting or until they realize what devotion means. They realize what statement they just made."

Sousuke couldn't look away from Sejiuro whose eyes sparkled as he talked about tattoos. He'd heard Seijuro talk like this about swimming once, but that speech ended with "Though I wonder how long this can last…" Back then, he believed Seijuro to be referencing the young age at which swimmers peak, but he now knew that the redhead was referring to his motivation to swim professionally.

"So," Sousuke began, gaze darting to the re-crumpled pieces portraying the golden waves and the rock. "You're really going to do it then?"

"I'm working on it," Seijuro said proudly, now playing his game. "Hopefully I'll be set up in a shop in about a month or two."

Sousuke laid down, straining to look at Mikoshiba Seijuro. Playing video games. Seijuro was childish. But filled with determination for whatever he wanted, whether it be a career, a person, a ramen packet. He always went all in. He cared a lot about others. He liked to take care of people, but not baby them. He was a bit of idiot, studying and acing tests, but forgetting all the information directly afterward.

Cooking and cleaning he could do, though he usually didn't. He always said if he were to have a kid, he'd be a strict father. Sousuke didn't believe him. Seijuro was always polite with strangers and even his whispering voice was loud. He often cheated on his partners because he had so much love to give. He often apologized to his partners because he hated hurting people's feelings. His idea of a perfect relationship involved a lot of sex and pet-names and text messages containing hearts.

Seijuro was firm about his loved ones finding happiness. He was often surprisingly naive and had an addiction to laughing when he wanted to cry. Manliness was in his nature, though sometimes he would actively avoid doing something feminine. He was inclusive, but intolerant to intolerance. He was a whimsical complicated being.

Mikoshiba Seijuro was playing video games and Sousuke realized he didn't understand him as much as he thought he did.