A/N: Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to review this story. This is the final chapter, but an epilogue will follow.
Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable characters or locations. I am making no money from this work of fiction. No copyright infringement intended.
Warning: No beta, so please forgive any typos. I try to catch them all, but sometimes I miss a few! :)
CH 3:
Brian felt like a stranger in his own house. Even with his so-called friends there it sure as hell didn't feel like a home, and it probably never would. He knew damn well that Ben, Ted, and Emmett didn't just drive all the way just to shoot the breeze. Nope, more than likely he was about to become the focus of an impromptu intervention. He was surprised but incredibly grateful that Debbie, de factor mother to all the queers on Liberty Avenue, hadn't made the trip.
He was slightly amused by the reactions of Ted and Emmett to seeing the grand house for the first time. While Ben for the most part looked unimpressed, Emmett carefully perused the entryway and the living room taking in every minute detail. Every couple of minutes he would stop when something particular caught his eye, and with his arms crossed would tap on his lower lip with his left index finger. Where the small spiral-bound notebook and feather pen Emmett produced came from Brian couldn't say, but he suddenly had a sinking feeling that he was in for some serious unsolicited decorating tips from the biggest queen he had ever known.
Brian snorted at Ted's expression as he followed Emmett's path, knowing that the little accountant in his head was hard at work tallying the enormous expenses that would be incurred with first decorating and furnishing then maintaining the huge old house.
Ben and Michael exchanged muted whispers as they stood together and watched Brian. Michael suggested that it was up to Ben and his calm, reasonable demeanor to draw Brian out and hopefully talk some sense into him. Ben took a deep breath and favored Michael with a curt nod. It was time for Phase One of "Operation Save Brian".
Michael cleared his throat and made his way over to Ted and Emmett, who were squabbling over something Emmett had jotted down in his notebook. Ted was chastising Emmett for his ridiculous notions concerning gaudy theater-style velvet drapes, while Emmett shot back that Ted was too conservative. If left unchecked, the debate over their polar opposite decorating styles could and likely would go on for hours.
"Hey guys, how about I give you a tour? That okay with you," Michael turned and asked their host with a raised questioning eyebrow and an abundance of caution. The hand blindly waved at him in disinterested dismissal was Brian's only response.
Michael's voice faded as the trio disappeared and headed toward the kitchen leaving Brian glaring pointedly at Ben. Perturbed and feeling on the defensive, Brian turned to his go-to weapon - sarcasm. His eyes were flashing with anger as he sauntered over to Ben until they were mere inches apart.
"Something on your mind, Professor," he asked, his tone dripping with disdain. "Let me guess, little Mikey figured you'd get all Zen and make it all better. Well let me tell you that I am fine. I don't need your help, or theirs, so you can all just get back in your cars and go back to the Pitts."
Not willing to be baited into and pointless argument, Ben remained stoic. "We're all worried about you Brian, that's all. I know it's been rough since Justin packed up and left, but we're still your friends. We just want to help," he stated simply.
"Help? You assholes are the reason Justin left," Brian nearly shouted.
Placing a hand in the middle of Brian's chest, Ben slowly backed him up until the backs of his knees hit the small settee. Brian fell onto the seat and glared up at Ben, who now loomed over him like a giant. Ben sat down next to him, and for the next half an hour listened with rapt attention as Brian sorrowfully revealed the true depth of his pain. It didn't take a trained professional to see that the normally cocky, arrogant, selfish Brian Kinney was suffering from a broken heart.
"I mean, fuck! I'm used to people walking out of my life, and I never fucking care when they do. That's why I never do – did – the whole "boyfriend" thing," he said, adding air quotes for emphasis.
Ben snorted and shook his head. "That's because you never loved anyone before – until Justin. It's different now. Brian, one-night-stands and quick fucks in the backroom at Babylon aren't relationships. There's no emotional attachment, but five years having Justin in your life? Hell yes! Your grieving, Brian, so let it happen. For the first time in your life someone you actually loved, whether you want to admit it or not, left you. Been there enough times myself to know that it fucking hurts like hell, but shutting yourself off from the world is not the answer. Let those of us who are still here, who love you and care about you, help you get through it."
Brian blinked at Ben a few times before barking out a laugh. "Ah, there's the Zen Ben I know so well. So tell me, Professor Bruckner, when the fuck does it stop hurting?"
This was a breakthrough. Ben was stunned by Brian's admission that he was genuinely hurt. Offering a shrug he replied, "It doesn't, but it gets easier over time. Best thing to do, find someone new. Move on and try to love again." Ben paused for a moment before taking a chance and saying more forecefullu, "Or – get off your ass and fight like hell to get Justin back."
Brian's wide eyes in response would have been comical under different circumstances. He gaped at Ben for several long moments as he tried to determine if Ben was bullshitting him, or if he was serious. The slight smile and warm eyes assessing him told him it was the latter.
Upstairs, Emmett clutched his chest repeatedly as he took in the granduer of each new room. As expected, the master suite drew the loudest and longest gasp.
"Oh ... my ... GOD," Emmett exclaimed, fanning himself and fully in queen mode. "I think I have just died and gone to gay heaven."
Ted shot an incredulous look at Emmett that went completely ignored as he began a thorough exploration of the closets and dressing rooms that combined had almost as much square footage as his whole apartment.
"How is Brian, really," Ted asked Michael. "He doesn't look so hot."
Michael sat on the huge king-sized bed with a sigh. "I don't know Teddy. He's better than he was yesterday. God, you should have seen him. He was stumbling drunk and smelled like stale booze and smoke. He hadn't shaved in days. I thought once he showered, shaved and slept it off he'd be okay, but man - he really went off on me this morning! That's why I called you guys. Glad you're here."
Ted sat next to Michael and patted his knee. "He'll get over it, once he's back in his element."
Micheal shook his head. "I don't think so. He's not the same guy. You saw how he was after the explosion. It took that to make him realize that he actually fucking loved Justin. Now, he blames all of us for Justin moving to New York."
Ted shrugged. "We all thought it was best, didn't we? I mean, they called it off."
"Yeah, I guess," Michael said as he stood and stretched. "Come on. I'm going to go fix us all something to eat. You go find Emmett."
Michael reached the kitchen and began perusing the meager offerings in the fridge and pantry. He was about to go out an announce that a trip into the nearest town was in order when he heard soft voices coming through the open kitchen door. He hazarded a peek out and saw Ben and Brian sitting on the swing talking. How Ben managed to keep a conversation going with Brian for nearly an hour was a mystery to be solved later. He was about to interrupt when he heard an all-too loud, familiar voice come from the front of the house.
"Where's the fucking kitchen," Debbie bellowed. A pair of muffled voices answered in unison.
"Hi Honey," Debbie announced with a huge smile as she carried countless bags of groceries into the kitchen. Seeing Michael she dropped them on the kitchen table before pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. "Are you all right? Brian didn't fucking hit you again did he? Where is our charming host anyway?"
"Shhh, Ma! Keep it down will 'ya? He's outside with Ben. There talking. I think Ben is talking some sense into him," he mumbled in protest into the garish red wig that threatened to suffocate him. It wasn't until she finally released him that he noticed Jennifer was standing in the doorway - with Justin.
Michael broke away from Debbie then scampered over and quietly closed the kitchen door. "Justin! Jesus Christ! What are you doing here," he asked in hushed tones, shocked by this stunning revelation.
Justin stepped back as Michael advanced. Jennifer stepped in and said defensively, "I called him yesterday. I didn't realize how badly Brian was hurting. I don't think any of us do. It was Justin's idea to come here."
Ted as finally able to drag Emmett downstairs and they both stopped in their tracks when they saw Justin.
"Oh sweetie, come here and let old Em see you," Emmett greeted, arms open in invitation. Justin accepted the embrace and smiled when Emmett began rocking him back and forth.
"Hey Em," Justin chuckled. Ted stepped in to pry Emmett off of him. "Hey Teddy."
"Justin. You're looking well. A bit thinner, but well," Ted with an unexpectedly cool tone. Since he had been taken into Brian's confidence during his convalescence he had grown rather protective of his boss, who he considered a friend even if the sentiment wasn't reciprocated.
"Where is he," Justin asked cautiously, standing as tall as he could to convey a confidence that he really didn't possess. He hadn't expected a brass band welcome, but it was painfully obvious that only Emmett was glad to see him.
Michael glared at Justin then jerked his head toward the door. "He's outside. Ben is talking to him, trying to reason with him. You know, Brian is a fucked up mess because of you," Michael stated through grit teeth.
Debbie broke the growing icy tension by getting right in the middle of the group. "Tell you what, Jennifer and I are going to fix you boys a nice dinner. Michael, go tell Brian that he has a visitor, then I want all of you leave them the fuck alone so they can talk."
Smiling at Justin, she took his face in her hands and said softly, "Sunshine, he's hurting. Be kind to him."
"I will Deb."
Michael opened the kitchen door and called out to Ben. "Honey, can you come here for a minute. Need your help getting something down." It was a lie, of course, but Ben complied dutifully.
Genuinely pleased to see Justin, Ben smiled and silently motioned for him to go out and take his place on the swing with Brian. Justin reached the door then paused briefly and shot Ben a questioning look. Ben's affirmative nod was all the confirmation he needed. Once Ben closed the door, a collective breath was held as everyone waited for the inevitable explosion.
Justin hesitated before clearing his throat. Brian was looking down at his feet and didn't notice the new arrival. When he finally looked up, shock, anger, regret, and sadness all flashed in his eyes like some cosmic slide show. Justin steeled himself for the rejection and a shouted demand to go the fuck away he fully expected.
"Hello, Brian," Justin said softly as he slowly moved to stand in front of the swing.
Brian had to blink a few times, certain that the blonde standing before him was an apparition. Maybe Ben used some secret Zen magic to conjure up Justin's spirit just to fuck with him. He snorted at the idea, but how else would Justin be standing there?
Justin was unnerved by the disbelieving look on Brian's face. He sat next to him on the swing and placed his hand on Brian's leg. He saw Brian close his eyes and swallow hard at the contact.
"What are you doing here," Brian asked in a tone much softer than he normally did when Justin showed up unexpectedly.
"I missed you, and it sounds like you missed me too. Brian, we need to talk, but not here."
Brian nodded and stood. "Let's walk. I never got to show you around," Brian replied.
From the large kitchen window, Michael and the others watched as Brian and Justin walked side by side across the expansive back lawn toward the stables. Emmett placed his hand over his heart when he saw Brian take Justin's hand in his.
"Well where the fuck are they? Dinner's almost ready," Debbie demanded after nearly an hour passed.
Ben approached his mother-in-law and placed a firm hand on her shoulder. "We'll keep their plates warm for them. They have a lot to talk about."
Deb smacked on the big wad of gum in her mouth and turned to Ben. "What the hell did you say to him anyway?"
Ben shrugged. "Just to grieve and move on, or fight to get Justin back. He's scared, Deb."
Ted and Emmett set the dining room table using the fine China and cut crystal stem ware the previous owner had left behind. The red linen tablecloth Emmett found needed an ironing, but it would suffice. Jennifer and Michael polished the sterling silverware they had discovered in the buffett. The velvet lined box contained service for 24 but they only took out forks, knives and spoons for eight.
In true Grassi/Novotny fashion, Debbie had prepared enough food to feed a small army. While Ben grilled marinated New York strip steaks, Debbie made garlic mashed potatoes, roasted asparagus with a raspberry glaze, cut and chopped all of the ingredients for a huge bowl of salad, and put two frozen pies, apple and pecan, in the oven.
Just as the six guests took their seats around the long oak table, Justin and Brian appeared in the archway. Ben circled the table filling each wine glass but stopped in mid-pour when he saw them. Their expressions gave nothing away, but he saw a new light in Brian's eyes.
Debbie was about to bark, "Well it's about fucking time," but Jennifer's pointed look and pat on the arm was a request to keep quiet.
Brian and Justin stood at the head of the table and exchanged smiles. The room was silent as the nervous tension grew. Justin nudged Brian, who cleared his parched throat. He picked up the nearest glass of wine and took a sip. There was so much he needed to say, to everyone. Seeing Michael's sad doe eyes looking at and assessing him, he knew where he needed to start.
"Thank you all for being here. I'm sorry I took off and made you worry. I know I was a complete shit to you Mikey, and I'm sorry for that too. I was angry at everyone, and honestly I still am. When I first met Justin, he was just another trick. I never thought I would see him again - never planned to. I made a lot of mistakes and did everything I could to push him away. You all tried to convince me that I was scared and afraid to let myself love him. And you were right. It took the explosion to make me realize that I did - that I do love him. Everything changed that night. I vowed to change. I decided it was finally time to grow the fuck up."
Brian pulled out chairs for himself and Justin. He had so much more to say. With all eyes on him, he continued.
"Everyone and everything changed. Mel and Linds moved and took Gus away from me. I know I wasn't much of a father to him, but he is my son and I do love him. I miss him more than I thought I would. Mikey, you and Ben moved out to the 'burbs. Bought a home and made plans to adopt Hunter. The rest of you started new relationships. I has already decided I was finally ready to commit, so I bought this place - for Justin. I wanted to show him, in my own fucked up way, how much I wanted a life with him."
The emotions swirling through Brian were becoming overwhelming. The anger was coming back to the surface and he fought to tamp it down. Justin leaned in and whispered encouragement.
"It's okay, Brian. Tell them."
Brian closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He grabbed Justin's hand, needing to connect with him and draw strength from him.
"That was when you all told me to let Justin go, that I was keeping him from living his dream of becoming a successful artist. None of you believed in me. You all thought I was full of shit because, as we all know, Brian Kinney isn't good for anything but a quick fuck. He can build a successful company, survive cancer, and rebuild a fucking club, but he isn't capable of loving anyone. Well, I'm here to tell you that you were wrong. Good old Zen Ben gave me some advice today. He told me to go ahead and grieve, to deal with it and move on - or, to fight like hell and get Justin back."
Brian turned his attention to his glass of wine and left his statement hanging in the air. Justin took that as his cue.
"First, I'm starved so let's eat. This looks awesome, Deb, so let's eat before it gets cold," Justin instructed. After several minutes of dished being passed around the table everyone began to eat, grateful for the break in the tension. They ate in silence for a while until Ted, surprisingly, spoke up.
"So, what now," he asked.
Justin put down his fork, wiped his mouth with a linen napkin, and sat up straight in his chair. When all eyes fell on him, he spoke.
"I'm coming home. A made a few contacts in New York at a couple of galleries. One has offered me a show this fall. A new artist's promotion. I was introduced to some advertising people who are interested in my computer graphics. I did what I needed to do there, but I realized that I can draw and paint anywhere. New York is a great city, but my muse is here," he said with affection as he looked at Brian and squeezed his hand.
"Brian needs me, and I need him. These past couple of months have been an adventure, but they've been the lonliest months of my life. Pittsburg is my home, it's where I belong. We still have a lot to talk about and have some decisions to make, but Brian and I want to be together. This time, for all the right reasons."
To everyone's surprise, Michael stood and pulled Justin from his seat and hugged him. Debbie, Jennifer, and Emmett used their napkins to dab away happy tears, while Ben and Ted sat and smiled approvingly. When Michael released Justin, he moved onto Brian, hugging him for all he was worth.
Around a sob, Michael said, "I'm so sorry Brian. I've been an idiot. I hope you both will forgive me."
Brian chuckled when he had Michael at arm's length again. "Mikey, you are so pathetic." Michael laughed at the all-too familiar affectionate put down.
Ben took the opportunity to stand and raise his glass. "A toast. To Brian and Justin. May they find their way."
"Here, here," Debbie bellowed. "Now, who wants seconds?"
The mood around the table was lighter during the remainder of dinner. Conversation turned to stories about the new relationships that began in Justin's absence. Seeing that his mother was truly happy, Justin had made peace with Jennifer's relationship. He didn't approve of her being involved with a much younger man, but she was happy and that's what really mattered.
The few leftovers were stored in the fridge and the dishes were washed, dried and put away. It was approaching 8:00 and a decision had to be made. Even though it was the weekend now, everyone save for Brian and Justin had commitments and responsibilities back home. Brian assured Ted that he would be back in the office in a few days, and until then he was in charge.
While Brian signed some new contracts that Ted had brought with him, Debbie pulled Justin aside for some unsolicited motherly advice. "Sunshine, don't think that jumping into bed is going to fix anything. You two take your time, and talk."
Justin grinned and kissed her on the cheek. "I know Deb. We want to make sure we want the same thing. I love him though, and he loves me."
"That's a good start," Debbie said affectionately as she patted his cheek.
Hugs and handshakes were exchanged as everyone filed out the front door and got into their respective cars. Jennifer returned and sat Justin's suitcase at Brian's feet.
"I love you both. You know that, right? And I'm proud of you. Take care of each other," she said before bestowing kisses on their cheeks. "We'll talk soon."
"Bye Mom. Give us a couple of days, okay?"
The parade of cars drove off leaving Brian and Justin standing hand in hand. Brian turned to Justin, who looked back him with abject adoration. Feeling more nervous than he could ever remember, Brian asked timidly, "So now what?"
"Kiss me, Brian."
