Next chapter for you guys. We learn a little more about how they found Ina here. Also, not because anyone asked but I wanted to clarify that her name is pronounced EE-nuh (not EYE-nuh). It's not really that important but her name came to me in a dream and I envisioned this all a certain way and yeah I'm weird I can't explain any of my quirks, but just in case anyone was wondering heh heh. Enjoy the chapter!
Ina let's out another involuntary whine as the pain in her back continues to worsen. Nothing seems to help. "It hurts." Ina groans.
"I know, Ina. I know." Hange says as she checks a cabinet for pain relief. Anything to ease this little girl's suffering. "We're going to do everything we can to help."
It burns. Everywhere from her neck to her lower back is on fire. Ina feels that familiar pressure that was once crushing her body. She feels the heavy rubble digging into her spine. Another cry of pain. "It's hurting me! Get me out!" She yells. "It's too heavy! Please get me out!" She's beginning to panic. "Help me!"
Armin and Hange suspect that Ina is thinking back to when she was trapped beneath the rubble.
"It'll be over soon, Ina." Armin has not left her side. She practically begged him to stay with her. She needs him. He makes her feel safe.
She squeezes his hand and cries out again. "I'm sorry." Her voice is an exhausted whisper. "I'm sorry. I'm trying to stop but it hurts."
Armin can't even respond. Can't even tell her that she is the last person that should be apologizing for anything. She's in so much pain, and yet she's worries about burdening others with her problems. After another drawn out cry of pain, Hange simply can't take it anymore. She has to do something NOW, and then search for a long term solution when Ina isn't suffering like this. Hange finally finds what she is looking for. "Alright, Armin I'm going to need your help. Turn her back over, but be very gentle. I'm going to start an IV." Hange instructs. "Ina, you're going to feel someone's hands but it's just Armin and I here, alright?"
All they get in response is a whimper.
She can't even think straight anymore.
Armin stands and gently grasps Ina by her sides. She's so tiny. Her cries intensify when he starts to move her.
"Hange!" Armin is worried this might hurt her more. "Are you sure-" "Yes!" Hange yells as she prepares the IV.
"Ina, I'm sorry." Armin cannot bear to hear her cries. "You're almost there. We're going to get you out."
Once on her back, Ina grabs hold of the first thing her hands find. Armin's jacket. She pulls him close to her. Wow this girl is strong.
"I'm right here, Ina. It's going to be okay." He loosens her grip slightly but it only causes her to hold on tighter. "Don't leave me! Please don't leave me." She cries.
"Step aside, Armin." Hange orders.
"I'm trying, Squad Leader, but she won't let go."
Armin resorts to lying next to her, so she can know that he is close. "Ina, take my hand."
The little girl can hear him through the haze and takes his hand. He guides it to her side and Hange immediately works on cleaning her arm and starting the IV.
"Alright, you're going to feel the needle. Here we go."
Her entire body jolts when Hange punctures her skin. Armin holds her steady and continues whispering words of reassurance.
"You're almost there, Ina. Keep breathing."
"Alright, that was the hard part." Hange has the IV in place. "This will help your pain Ina. Listen to Armin. Breathe through it." Hange instructs as she starts the morphine.
"Count backwards from ten." Armin starts. "Take a deep breath in between each number."
"10." Ina obliges. Armin breathes with her.
"9." Breathe. She takes her time between each breath.
"8." Breathe. The pain is going away.
"7." She finally opens her eyes.
"6." The pain is barely there.
"5." Keep breathing.
"4." It's gone.
"Ina?" Armin asks her when she stops counting.
"It went bye bye." Ina sighs. "I'm out now."
"You feel better now, Ina?" Hange asks, relieved.
"Yes." She takes another deep breath.
"You did so good, Ina. I'm proud of you." Armin whispers. "You did good." He looks at Hange and nods. "It's over."
"I feel sleepy. Can I… Am I allowed to sleep?" Her eyes feels so heavy now. She's tired. It's been such a crazy morning. "Please?"
"Of course you can sleep." Hange leans in closer. "Close your eyes. You'll feel better when you wake up."
"Please don't leave me." She turns to Armin. "Please stay." She whimpers. "Don't leave." She begs, her eyes fluttering closed.
"I'll stay." Armin whispers. "I'll be right here."
Ina falls into a painless, worry free sleep. The first sleep like that she's had in so long.
Levi isn't sure when he walked away. As he makes his way down the hall he tries to erase the girl's pained cries from his mind.
He's seen it all. People dead in the streets. Children begging because their parents were too weak. Countless scouts have died in his arms. More than he can even recall have held his hand and cried on his shoulder. He's witnessed so much pain in his life. He's felt unbearable pain before. Why was he unable to even listen to this girl cry? It felt like something was scraping against the inside of his skull. His chest had even started to throb from the sound. Levi has never had such a visceral reaction to anything before. As he walks away, he still can't wrap his mind around any of this.
"Armin."
"Squad Leader?"
"You've done really well. Thank you for staying with her."
"It's really not a problem, Squad Leader. I'm just glad she's doing better now."
"She's going to be asleep for a while. Why don't you fill your friends in? Don't be too specific. Just say that she's resting now and that she'll be alright." Hange tells him.
Armin feels some reluctance in leaving Ina, but eventually agrees. "Will you let me know when she wakes? I'd like to be here."
"I'll send for you when she does." Hange smiles.
Ina doesn't want to release Armin when he moves to stand. He takes her hand and kisses it softly before laying it across her chest. "I'll be back." He whispers. "Thanks, Squad Leader."
Hange just nods, her smile is gone.
"Armin's back!" Sasha is the first to notice. They swarm him immediately. Eren senses that Armin seems a bit stressed. He first urges everyone to give Armin space before they start asking their questions.
"She's alright. She's resting now."
"That's great!" Krista feels like she's been holding her breath for ages. "Armin, we've been so worried."
"I know." His expression is so sad. He looks as if he wants to cry.
"If the kids alright then what's the matter with you?" Jean asks.
"Nothing." Armin looks down. "Are you guys done here or is there something I can do to help?"
He tries to avoid any concerned looks.
Something falls to the ground, the noise makes nearly everyone jump.
"Mikasa?! What-"
"Armin, help Eren pick this up." Mikasa puts a hand on his shoulder. "After that, we're finished. Let's go guys." Mikasa says to the others. Everyone looks at her with confusion. "Let's go." She says again. Krista catches on and starts to guide her confused comrades away, eventually leaving Eren and Armin to finish the task at hand alone.
"So what happened?" Eren asks as he sweeps the trash into the dustpan Armin holds for him.
The smaller teen does not reply. He keeps his head down and Eren can see how Armin trembles.
"Armin?" Eren sets the broom down. He kneels next to Armin and moves the dustpan out of the way. "What's the matter?"
Armin breaks down in tears. He sits back and leans on one of the nearby tables.
"Eren." Armin takes a deep and shaky breath. "I really want to thank you and Mikasa for always being there to help me when I needed it. I never felt alone because of you guys."
Eren is confused, but responds nonetheless. "Of course, Armin. You're our friend and we care about you. You don't have to thank us for that."
"Ina never had anyone. Imagine being her age in this terrible world with no one. No friends, no family, nothing." Armin sounds distraught, but also upset as he continues. "She was just lying there crying out in agony." He squeezes his eyes shut. "And the only thing she could say was that she was sorry. She could barely breathe, her pain was so intense, and she apologized to me." Armin shakes his head and opens his eyes. He looks at Eren with the most innocent confusion. "Why?! Eren, why would anyone do this to a child? How can you sit and watch her in pain and on top of all that, you make her apologize to you?" It's infuriating just thinking about it. Whoever did this to her has a special place in hell.
"I know without much of a doubt… That had you and Mikasa not been there for me, I'd have ended up like her. And it scared me when I realized that." Armin confesses. "I've been hurt and alone. People have made me feel like... Like I was nothing. I've been forced to apologize for burdening people before." He whispers. "I hated hearing her say it over and over. It brought me back to places I never wanted to revisit."
"Armin, you don't have to-" Eren's heart aches for his best friend.
"I do!" Armin yells, right before breaking down in tears again. "You guys saved me countless times, but I'd be lying if I said those were the only times someone had tried to hurt me. Some people are… Persistent." If they wanted to hurt him they literally just waited for an opening.
They'd gag him to keep him quiet and move into further seclusion. After leaving him trembling, bloody and crying on the ground, they'd berate him for an apology. Sticking their shoes in his mouth, only worsening his split lip. Another would grab him to sit him upright and Armin would have to fight off the automatic response to shrink back. He hated the feeling of their hands on his body. How much it all hurt.
Armin whimpers in fear as the memory hits him like a ton of bricks and looks away from Eren.
"I'm sorry." He whispers. Familiar aches return to his limbs for a moment. His scars feel like they've all reopened and are bleeding right through his uniform. Armin places his hands over his ears. "No more. I'm sorry." He doesn't hear himself. Just Eren's response.
"Armin, what are you- what do you mean? Don't apologize to me!" He gently grabs Armin by the wrist but pulls back when Armin nearly jumps to his feet. Frightened and unsure where he is.
"It doesn't matter." Armin shakes his head, thereby shaking the painful memories away. The pain finally dissipates. "I'm just really upset, so I'm saying a lot of stuff you should just ignore. Don't pay me any mind."
"Of course I'm going to pay mind to what you're saying!"
"Eren, please!" Armin begs. "I don't want to talk about that. It was the past, it's over now."
"Armin, you know you can tell us these things. It's not burdening us." Eren reminds him.
Armin groans in frustration. "I know!" He brings his hands to his head. "I know."
He knows they care. He knows they'd do anything for him, including sacrifice themselves. Armin is lucky and he knows it, and right now that thought frustrates him.
"I didn't mean to blow up at you. I'm sorry, Eren."
"Stop apologizing, Armin. One more time and I swear I'll cut your hair in your sleep." Eren threatens, although he doesn't sound too serious. "Besides, it's alright." He laughs. "I'm always blowing up about… Well everything, you know that. It's nice to sit back and let someone else take over for a change."
Armin smiles slightly.
"So is Ina alright, Armin?"
"Yeah." Armin nods. "She's fine. It's just that her injuries from before haven't healed completely. She was having really horrible back pain. She wanted me to stay with her, so I tried my best to help her through it. I'm going back to her after this, actually."
"I hope she heals soon." Eren remarks. Someone so young shouldn't suffer this much. It just isn't right. "We're proud of you, Armin."
"Me? What for?"
"For stepping up and helping take care of Ina. You understand her in a way that none of us do. Of course we'd all like to help, but we have no clue what we're dealing with. You do, Armin, and because of that she'll get the help she needs from the best person out there."
"I'm just doing for her what you guys did for me." Armin mumbles. "I owe it to everyone to at least make an effort."
"You owe nothing to no one, Armin. Remember that. If Mikasa and I operated like that, we'd be no better than those bullies and we definitely wouldn't be your friends."
Armin sighs. Eren is right. If they wanted anything from him, people as strong willed and tough as them would have taken it from Armin long ago. Just like all the others.
"I owe it to her." Armin is quiet. "People like her… Like us," he lowers his head, "Sometimes we need a little convincing before we realize that the bad times are over. I want to make sure that she knows that."
Eren still finds himself somewhat alarmed by some of Armin's vague confessions, but he doesn't want to ask again and risk upsetting his friend.
"I know you're going to remind her of that better than any of us can." Eren smiles.
"I think she likes you guys too. I noticed her loosen up a lot during breakfast." Armin recalls.
"We'll all be here for her. Her trust in you will eventually let her know that she can count on all of us." Eren gives his intelligent friend a one armed hug. Armin holds onto Eren for a moment longer. He still relishes in the safe feeling at times when he feels particularly vulnerable.
"I'm gonna go back to her." Armin says after releasing Eren. "Do you mind… Um… Maybe keeping this conversation between us?" His blue eyes hold a great deal of embarrassment. "I said a lot of things that I maybe shouldn't have-"
"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm glad you trust me with this. And I know you didn't ask my opinion, but I don't think you said anything you shouldn't have. Speaking your mind isn't a mistake." Eren should know. Letting his true feelings be known helped get him into the survey corps. Life has taught him that speaking your mind is always the better choice. In doing this, Armin got something off his chest that he'd kept to himself for years on end. Eren can only hope that it helped, even if only a little.
"Let's get this cleaned up." Eren pats Armin on the shoulder.
They make quick work of sweeping up the remaining dust and trash.
"Update us when you can." Eren says to Armin as they prepare go their separate ways.
"Definitely. Uh… Thanks for listening, Eren."
Eren just smiles at his best friend before leaving to join the others for training.
Thanks again for tuning in. This fic is almost twice as long as my other one so I will definitely be updating twice a week instead of just once.
