Disclaimer: Nada. Zilch. Nothing. I don't own anything apart from this awesome Spongebob shirt I'm wearing.


He didn't know how he did it. Maybe it was his awesome ninja skills, maybe it was just sheer terror or maybhe really needed to pee in a sanitary toilet in peace, where there wouldn't be singing girls and a scary cheerleading coach. Hell, maybe it was all three. But he got out alive. Victory had never tasted sweeter. Or more alive. Wes grinned, taking in David's shocked face and laughed, his sides aching.

'Do you believe me about the magic gavel?'

'I never said I didn't.' David sulked. 'That school is insane.'

'Talented though. Santana's got a pair of pipes on her.'

'Since when?'

'Grow some ears, David. As we were fleeing for our lives, I heard Santana singing to Brittany.'

'Shush. They can smell disbelief.'


Blaine groaned as Wes began another detailed recount of McKinley. He completely tuned out, ignoring the animated gestures and frantic speaking.

'-AND HE'S COMPLETELY YOUR TYPE IT'S FREAKY OH GOD BLAINE BLAINE BLAINE BLAINE LISTEN-'

'Wes, Blaine isn't listening.' David said gently.

Blaine frowned. 'Wes.'

'Yes?'

'David used a contraction. What's wrong?'

'I told you. My gavel transports me to McKinley High.' Wes sighed.

'It's like a portkey.' Blaine supplied, frowning.

'I haven't read the Harry Potter series, Blaine. Not all of us read in our spare time.'

'Well, you should. It's the perfect explanation for this...thing.' Blaine waved his hands wildly, wincing as he almost hit his mountain pile of books.


'Oh.' Blaine let out a short breath.

Wes had stormed up to him angrily, before dragging him into the room with a sighing David.

'I HAVE AN IDEA.' Wes shouted.

'Me too. Shut up.' David retaliated. Wes rolled his eyes, before taking off his plastic gloves and forcing the other two to touch the small hammer.

'Ple-' Blaine began, before blinking. He was in a public school.

David sighed as Blaine raced towards the nearest bush and retched.

'It's always the hardest on the first time, isn't it?'

'Sadly so. But I guess Kurt'll take care of that, won't he?'

David nodded. 'It's almost painful how inexperienced he is.'

'Shut up,' Blaine choked out. 'It's really annoying now and you sound as if you're discussing bedroom problems.'

'Just say it,' Wes sighed. 'It sounds as if we're discussing boners.'

Blaine spluttered, choking on his own flying spittle.

'T-True gentlemen are not supposed to s-say such words!'

'You haven't had a taste of McKinley, Blainers. The teachers sing about touching and strip on the school grounds.' Wes said seriously, before turning around and peering through the bushes Blaine had puked in.

'Huh.'

'What?'

'Your vomit didn't have carrots. They usually have carrots.'

'HEY! YOU!'

The trio turned around, looking rather like three very startled, innocent deers caught in the headlights of a monster truck. Wes exhaled angrily at the sight of the bickering football players who had attempted to throw a drink at him.

'Gentlemen.' Wes said curtly, before trying to suavely turn around and walk off.

'Don't walk away,' one began.

'We need to teach you a lesson.'

Wes looked around at David and Blaine. David looked cool, almost as if he was listening to music, albeit a slight constipated look. Blaine, on the other hand. Sweating, breathing heavily, blazer growing damper and damper, eyebrows scrunching up as if he was 14 again, at the Sadie's Hawkins dance.

Then Wes thought of the chances of running with these two people away from football players.

They were royally fucked, weren't they?


To be continued...

Well, it's got to be.