Jon and Chad stood at the starting line for the second leg of the Race.

"Let's begin with this announcement," said Jon, "From this point onwards, no transportation you brought from home. Not land, not air. They will be delivered home. As for the Race..."

He fumbled with a sheet of paper.

"First up with a 10-minute headstart from the second group, the teams that chose the 10 PM Mushroom flight here or flew both team members here by another method: Team Yoshi, Team Good Eggs, Team 13 Chocolate Chip Cookies, Team Bowser, Team van Pelt, Team Mystery Box, Bucktionary of Crossovers, Team Toad, Team Kong and Team Princess!"

The mentioned teams stepped up to the starting line. Chad counted down the time as the Racers get into running position, focused on the clue box across the street.

"3... 2... 1..." Chad blasted an air horn 'accidentally' into Jon's ear. As Jon hit the deck skull first, the teams from the 10 PM flight raced off.

Team Yoshi, 1st

The pair reached the clue box first. They received the first clue: a Roadblock. Douglas opened the clue. It read:

"Who's got an arm and a glove?"

They looked at each other, puzzled, for a moment before Douglas spotted down an alleyway, over a wall and in the distance, beyond the clue box: Charlie Brown's ballpark. It seemed that the task would be to throw and catch a baseball. He pulled his brother away into another alleyway, hoping nobody saw them find the task location.


Jon turned to the teams yet to start. "Next, the teams that took the 10:45 Lasagna Air, starting in 9 minutes: Team Free the Roosters and Team Poison Mushroom. Please approach the starting line now."

The two teams complied.


Team Yoshi, 1st

The pair arrived at the ballpark. Hopping the fence, they saw the ballfield, set up thusly: On the sidelines next to them, baseball gloves, one tailored for each contestant. By the pitcher's mound, a basket full of baseballs. By the plate, a girl with a baseball bat. She was known to her friends as Peppermint Patty, but of course few Racers could know this fact.

Yoshi grabbed his ball glove and grabbed a baseball. The girl stepped up to the plate and assumed batting position. Yoshi wound up and pitched the ball, taking the opportunity to show off with his signature Egg Ball. Encasing the ball in an egg, he hurled it. It bounced around on its way to the plate, but the girl, as experienced a ball player as Yoshi, scored a hit, knocking it towards where the shortstop would be. Reflexively, Yoshi shot out his tongue and grabbed it as it passed the mound. He reeled it in and looked back to see a look of wonder and confusion on the girl's face as she advanced on him with a Route Info clue. He accepted it and he and Douglas read it:

"The next clue is at Ms. van Pelt's Psychiatry Booth." Also listed was the address of the van Pelt house.

Douglas showed the girl the clue, using his finger to underline the address. Fortunately, she knew where the house was.

"From the entrance, it's two rights, the second left, right at the end of the road. It's the house with the yellow stand in front." she told them.

The pair left, squeezing past Team Mystery Box and the Bucktionary of Crossovers as they entered.


The air horn sounded again, blasting Jon off his feet as the second group set off. Jon stood up, dusted himself off, and grabbed a clue from the pocket of his coat.

"The teams that boarded the jet will leave in 10 minutes!" he announced, "Those teams are: Team Arbuckle, Team Fox, Team 64 [THAT WORD IS OFFENSIVE NOW APPARENTLY SO CBS AIN'T WANT US SAYIN' THAT], Team Nermal, Team Duck, Team Sheep, Team Alley Cat, Team Birdo and Team Garfield."

The remaining teams stood on the starting line.

"Team Garfield!" Jon continued, "You came last on a non-elimination leg, meaning you have to take the Speed Bump!" he handed Garfield a clue. Garfield handed it to Arlene. Arlene read the clue:

"The team member who does NOT read this clue must eat a 25-meter raisin."

Confession Cam

Garfield & Arlene-
Garfield:
*Look of indescribable fury*
Arlene: *Thousand yard stare*

END

Jon handed Garfield the promised raisin, allowing him to take a practice bite. Garfield carefully bit off a couple of millimeters, maneuvering the chunk around his tongue and down his throat. He dry heaved for a moment before giving Jon the Glare of I'd-Kill-You-If-We-Weren't-On-TV. Jon gave him a smug grin in return.


Team Mystery Box & Bucktionary of Crossovers, 2nd & 3rd

Bucky, ever eager to be the first to do things, finally got his baseball glove on after putting it on in every possible incorrect orientation.

"Okay, what now?" the cat asked.

"Maybe take the balls over there and throw them at the chick over there?" Jason asked, pointing to the objects.

"Okie-deckscrubber!" Bucky said, and threw a mockery of a pitch that didn't make it halfway to the plate. He threw another, getting it three quarters of the way before it too hit the ground. A third pitch, delivered with all the cat's might, barely make it past the girl's knees. She swung, and missed.
"Strike one!" she called.
Bucky, assuming this was a good thing, threw another "fast"ball to the knee area. This time it was smashed directly into the face of Jason, who was standing at the sideline to watch.
"Foul, strike two!" she called.
Bucky delivered one more pitch, this time too far away from the girl, out of the strike zone. However, thinking she'd found a pattern, she swung exactly where his last pitch had been, catching nothing but air.
"Strike three!" she called, pulling a clue from her back pocket and handing it to Bucky.

"C'mon, pinky, let's get outta here!" Bucky said to Jason.

"No, let's... just take a break," the geek moaned, clutching his now even more deformed nose.

Bucky attempted to drag Jason out, but alas he hadn't the strength. With no other option, he sat down, watching their ally team take their shot at the task.


Team 64, 4th

SMG4 dragged a protesting Mario into the stadium as Team Mystery Box's Nick the Dry Bones pitched ball four.

"That'll get me on base. Back of the line," called the batter, gesturing to the two new challengers.

SMG4 turned to Mario for him to get onto the mound, but the plumber had fallen asleep. Sighing, he took on the duty of pitching.
He threw the first ball, but it hit the plate for ball one. He threw a second pitch, sailing behind the batter for ball two. The third pitch was just to the side of the strike zone, but the girl swung at it. It hit Mario in the head and bounced back above the infield, falling into the glove of Mario's celebrity partner.

"Out," called the girl, and gave them their clue.


Team Mystery Box & Bucktionary of Crossovers, 3rd & 4th

Nick stepped back onto the mound. His 3-1 pitch was struck high into the air for what would have been an easy catch, but he became preoccupied with the laces on his glove, allowing the ball to hit the ground.

"That's a hit, gotta wait for the next team," called the batter.


Team Arbuckle, 19th

"You hear that? Like a flying turtle swearing at the top of their lungs?" Jon's Dad asked Doc Boy.

"Probably someone failing the task. Let's head over," Doc Boy replied.

They made their way to the stadium, trying their best not to tip off the other teams to the fact that they actually knew where they were going.


Teams Thirteen Chocolate Chip Cookies & van Pelt, 3rd/4th

Charlie Brown and Snoopy had arrived at the stadium at the same time as Linus and Lucy.

"Hi Linus," said Charlie Brown, "I'm glad we ran into each other. I want to call a truce."

"Like... a superteam?" asked Linus.

"WHAT?!" Lucy wailed. "THAT'S THE STUPIDEST IDEA IN THE HISTORY OF THE AMAZING RACE!"

"C'mon Lucy," said Linus, "We're kids. There isn't enough for us in our unsheltered lives to spend $250,000,000 on, let alone $500,000,000. I say we form a pact to split the prize money four ways if either team wins."

Linus placed his hand out in the space between the two teams. Charlie Brown quickly stacked his hand onto Linus's, followed by Snoopy.

"I don't know..." said Lucy.

"250 million dollars is still more than you'll ever need," said Linus, slightly desperate.

A few moments of silence followed, then Lucy put her hand on top of the pile.

"It's a deal," Linus & Charlie Brown said simultaneously.

"We'll go first then," Lucy insisted.

Charlie Brown, Linus and Snoopy let out a simultaneous sigh as Lucy predictably threw a pitch that got hit with a slow pop fly to the shallow outfield, and completely missed the catch. Charlie Brown stepped up to the mound, threw his own pitch and in return got hit with a line drive powerful enough to send him flying head over heels and strip him of all his clothes save for his underwear.

Linus approached Charlie Brown as he lay, barely conscious or clothed.

"Don't worry Charlie Brown," Linus reassured, "Have another turn." He tossed a ball to Patty, which she hit once again at incredible velocity to the pitcher. Linus, being a person that isn't Charlie Brown, reflexively put his gloved hand in front of his face, catching the ball and avoiding brain damage.
"C'MON, LET'S GO!" Lucy screamed, having already collected the clue from Patty. She yanked her younger brother away. Charlie Brown stood to have another go at the challenge when he was shoved out of the way.

Team Fox, 4th

"Move it, shorty!" said Peter. Being a self-proclaimed jock at a typical high school for typical people, one might expect him to be decent at baseball. Sadly, after his skill was evaluated, he was put on designated hitter in a league that doesn't follow the rule. The hit from his pitch was so hard it knocked him against the outfield wall, leaving his hat in the air for a moment before it floated down onto Charlie Brown, who was used to being nearly naked, covered in dirt and humiliated in baseball.

Team 13CCC, 5th

Snoopy stepped onto the mound (Not bothering to check his round-headed owner for a pulse) and pitched a strikeout, taking the clue and leaving as soon as Charlie Brown recovered his clothes and became decent again.

Confession Cam

Charlie Brown & Snoopy
Charlie Brown-
*Clean as a whistle but spit-shining his arm with his shirt* Out, darned spot! Out I say! Oh, I'm dirtier than Pig-Pen...
Snoopy- *He holds up a stopwatch indicating he's been trying to clean off dirt for 15 minutes now*

END

Team Yoshi, 1st

The pair made their way to the psychiatric booth of the self appointed Dr. van Pelt. The cluebox and a second box sat on the desk-surface of the booth. Yoshi collected a clue and opened it. It read:

"To get to the next clue, you must take a flight headed for the town of Toad Town, Mushroom Kingdom." Also attached was the address of the nearest airport.

They inspected the second cluebox-like object. It was labeled "Directions 5c". The box itself was locked by a latch on the inside and fastened to the booth, and had a coin slot. Yoshi picked up a nickel that had been left under the box and put it in, which resulted in the box unlocking and the contents being revealed: A map with directions to the airport. Yoshi moved to take it, but Doug stopped him. He made a suggestion, dubbed by RX-2 as: "We know the address, and there's a cab dropping someone off just over there. I doubt any of the other racers will be carrying 5-cent coins unless they stopped for a snack or something. If we were to lock the box and leave the coin inside, nobody will be able to get the directions."

"Why not just take the map too in case someone does?" Yoshi asked.

"'Cause it makes for bad TV. Don't you think it'd be more exciting to win the leg by six inches than by 20 miles?"

Yoshi promptly shut the lid with a satisfying click. It didn't reopen when they tried to do so.

Team Fox, 20th

"...and three Chicken Binky Burger meals, one super-size, and one double Binky Burger meal and a 30-pack of Binky Bites with extra mystery sauce, and two Ultra Binky Boxes, one with extra cheddar, and a supersized Clown Cola," Peter told the Binky Burger employee, beginning his stop for a snack.

"You're probably the worst competitor in the history of game shows," said his sister calmly, having nearly fainted over her brother's incredible lack of a drive to win.

"You're just saying that because of your anorexia," he taunted, finishing with a childish show of his tongue.

Paige frowned at him. "You and I both know perfectly well that I'm bulimic!"

"Oh, yes. Remind me, was the bulimia self-diagnosed or a fad? It's hard to keep track of all your dietary restrictions."

Paige raised her fist, eliciting a flinch from Peter.

"I'll have the same," she told the cashier. "Oh, and an empty Supersize chicken bucket." She handed over the team's budget for the leg, getting 5c change in return.

Team Garfield, 21st

Garfield had nibbled away three inches of his raisin. He had seen that there was a fast food joint behind the starting line. Sure, it was a Binky Burger, but a fast food joint nevertheless. He reached the counter before the employee greeted him with a grave look on his acne-ridden teenage minimum-wage face.

Arlene, clutching the fat cat's arm, whispered, "Garfield, you're going to spend our whole budget. We'll have no money for a plane."

Garfield raised his arm in a classic backhand-the-guy-behind-me motion straight from the kung fu movies. Arlene dodged it, avoiding the need to sue, and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Garfield," the employee whimpered, "We're out of everything except the salad, the Puke-Fizz and the seedless buns."

Garfield put on an angry face that would scare off a panther. The employee, making sure to make no sudden movements, took cover as Garfield's eyes grew more bloodshot by the second. His massive eyeballs were almost stark scarlet when he shoved his gigantic raisin into his gaping maw. The red colour began seeping into his irises before he swallowed, ending his misery, appetite, and the demonic orbs that his eyes were becoming.

Author note: This may have been the first ever appropriate use of "orb" when referring to an eyeball.

Team Toad, 19th

Gerald sat against the fence, near-suicidal as his teammate pitched yet another ball four. He approached the mound, ready to take a turn when Garfield and Arlene appeared from behind. Garfield, looking absolutely furious, shoved Sam aside and threw a pitch so hard that the top half of the girl's bat was reduced to sawdust, and the ball carried on through the backstop, fence, and the Brown residence and out of sight.

The girl dropped the bat. "Uh... I guess this means you can all go." Both teams snatched their clues away and left, Team Toad sprinting, while Arlene followed Garfield, who was down to a determined march.

Team Fox, 21st

"I... made it..." panted Peter, as Paige strolled in behind him.

"Bat broke, you can go," said the girl, holding out a clue.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Peter wailed to the heavens.

"Peter. We get to skip the challenge." Paige said, trying to shake her brother out of his catatonic sobbing.

"B-B-But I wanted... I wanted t-to p-p-prove mys-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-self..." Peter replied between sobs in strained whispers.

Rather than bothering to debate with Peter, Paige opted to grab the clue and drag her brother away.

Team Van Pelt, 6th

Lucy raced to her booth and lifted the directions box and was met with a nothing-where-there-should-be-a-nickel.

"It's gone..." Lucy whispered.

Linus began, "Lucy, it's questionable whether it's even legal in the Race to-"

"It's gone." Lucy said, much firmer than last time.

"Lucy, I know how to get to-"

"IT'S GONE!"

Linus clutched his blanket in fear. Lucy shouted at the top of her lungs, smashing the box against the ground. She snapped up the map and opened it. The map was scribbled over with a marker, with negative space left to read: Nice try :-) -Jon. Lucy screamed even louder, ripping the now-useless map apart. Linus put his hand on her shoulder. She responded by pulling Linus in by the collar.

"Don't ever do that again," Lucy grunted, and shoved Linus away, "Now which way to the airport?"

"'Scuse me," said Garfield, shoving the pair aside and grabbing a clue. "Try to be quieter when you're near a clue," Garfield added as he stomped off towards the airport.

Confession Cam

Linus & Lucy
Lucy-
Jon, you dirty, rotten man, I will punch your lights out.
Linus- Now, Lucy, if you do that, we're liable to get disqualified.
Lucy- DO YOU THINK I CARE?! HE SCREWED UP MY GAMEPLAN, AND PEOPLE WHO SCREW UP MY GAMEPLAN PAY THE PRICE!

END

Team Yoshi, 1st

The pair exited the cab, having paid for the trip, when Garfield barged past them and through the door, followed by Arlene.

"How the hell-?" asked Yoshi.

"You don't mess with a determined person," Doug said with a shrug.

The duo followed their new threats and decided to get on the same plane.

Each team managed to make their way to the airport one-by-one. Eventually, there was one team left to board.

Team Fox, 21st

"Hey, I need a ticket to Toad Town," asked Peter.

"There's one leaving in a few hours," replied the airport employee, turning her computer screen around to show him the details.

Peter reached around in his pockets, coming up with nothing but a nickel.

"For that much, sir, we can put you on a tricycle and point you towards Toad Town."

Peter cursed under his breath. Paige pulled out a stack of credit cards. "Can we use one of these?" she asked.

"Go ahead and try," said the employee, pointing to a card reader.

Paige went through each card one-by-one, each getting declined. She was down to one card.

"Whoops," she said, pulling in Peter to whisper in his ear, "the bad news is all my cards are maxed out... The good news is I accidentally brought Daddy's card too."

Peter shrugged. "Try it. We might end up being able to pay it back if we win."

Paige swiped her father's card in the card reader, which began smoking and emitting sparks. The employee's jaw dropped.

"Dammit, how did he get a virus on a credit card?" Paige mumbled as she handed the card to Peter and began rooting around in her own pockets to see if she remembered to swipe some blank checks from Roger. Coming up empty, she rested her head on the desk in shame.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to work off the cost of that card reader," said the employee.

"How long will that take?" Paige asked uneasily.

"These things are cheap as hell, should be a few hours."

"So... how long would it take to work off the ticket?" Peter asked.

"You'll be the longest-serving employees in company history," answered the employee, face straight as an arrow. "Three months."

"Oh..." Peter mumbled. "Hypothetically, what would the hours be?"

"No, I mean three months clocked in."

Peter was so astonished that the brim of his cap drooped. "Looks like it's down to 20," he sighed.

"What?"

"Nothing. What do you need us to do?"

Team Garfield

Garfield slumped down in his seat, seething. He looked at the others in the row. Arlene and Team Yoshi to the right. Teams 64 and Poison Mushroom to the left. Mario was taking up extra space and eating chips as loudly as possible, with his mouth open, annoying his teammate and Team Poison Mushroom.

"Excuse me, would you mind not being a jack[BLEEP]?" asked a voice next to Mario.
He turned. It was one of Team Poison Mushroom. Instead of replying, he instead chose to punch them in their faces. The three spilled out onto the aisle and began brawling, with Mario's partner attempting to part the parties to no avail.

"Attention passengers, please fasten your seatbelts," came a garbled voice over the PA, just before the plane did a barrel roll, slamming the brawling teams around the plane. Mario, an expert aerialist, caught his row and landed in his seat. The other three were not so lucky. A pair of flight attendants appeared and hogtied the defeated combatants and peacekeeper.
Soon, the plane landed. Five police-Toads rushed onto the plane, stomped the captives a few times each, and dragged them out of the plane, to the protests of Mario's partner. Mario, Team Garfield, Team Yoshi, and the other teams on the plane disembarked.

Mario

Mario was intercepted by Jon on the runway.

"I heard about the on-flight incident," said Jon, "and I really don't want you to have to drop out because your partner was arrested. So I'll give you a new one."

Luigi stepped out from behind Jon.

"Hi, bro!" said Luigi, grinning.

"Him?" asked Mario, raising an eyebrow.

Jon leaned in close. "Look, do you want to stay in the Race or not?"

As the Mario brothers walked off, Chad drove up to Jon on an luggage buggy.

"And then there were nineteen," Chad commented.

"Twenty."

"Nope. The high schoolers ran out of cash."

"D'ja think we should make this a non-elimination leg?"

"Nah, don't wanna string them along for too long."

"You sure about that? Never mind, we'll figure that out later. What're we gonna tell them when they find out we don't have the billion? Did CBS like your idea to sign 'em all up for a special season of Survivor?"

Chad chuckled. "Nah, but there's a copycat in Canada that's got plans. He heard I was looking to do it and wanted to do a huge crossover with some other series, and a gang of teens he'd rounded up thinking they were headed for summer camp."

"I like the way he plays. What's the job?"

"Wants us to host, of course. You, me, him, a big black drill sergeant and Troy McClure."

"Troy McClure? I remember him from such reality shows as The Puppy Bachelor and Survivor: New York City."

A knowing smirk crept onto Chad's face. "The rope swing needs more chutney."

Jon reciprocated the smirk. "You can't get yer monkey to spread it good enough, yer OUTTA HERE!" The last three words were spoken in unison with Chad.

They shared a laugh before an airport security officer approached them.

"Hey man, can you get the hell off the runway? There's planes that need to land here, yunno."

"Right, sorry," said Jon, climbing onto Chad's luggage cart. They headed off to the finish line.

"So, Chad... What's he want to call the show?"

"He's leaning towards a series name of Total Crossover, and each season marked by an additional word after that. First season he's suggesting, I think... Chaos?"

"If anything, it's a nice acronym..."

Author note: CONTINUITY! anyway you should check out total crossover chaos if you haven't already


Team Yoshi, 2nd

Sprinting to catch up to Garfield's unstoppable powerwalk, Yoshi & Douglas grabbed the cluebox just outside the airport. It read:

1. Choke Up: The teams must drag a boulder through town using a rope attached to their necks.

2. Smoke Up: The teams must assist the local herb dealer in preparing a batch of fresh mushrooms for sale.

"Up for dragging?" asked Yoshi.

"Not a chance," replied Douglas, "You know the history behind the challenge? Witch trials. The ones they suspected had to drag a boulder with a rope through a hole in the center from the town square to Mushroom Gorge while staying ahead of an angry mob. If they didn't get strangled by the rope or caught and torched by the end, then they were supposedly witches, and what came next was to take care of that: the finish line was at the bottom of an incline, near the edge of a cliff. By the time they reached it, the boulder would have reached the incline and... well, I'm sure you can guess. Friend of mine had a grandpa that saw a whole bunch. I don't want to piss them off or give his grandpa flashbacks or anything."

Confession Cam

Jon- *Grinning, he holds a diorama up to the camera, setting it on a table just below the screen. The diorama features a Yoshi figure with a baseball tied to its neck at the top of a ramp. Still beaming, Jon flicks the ball down the ramp. It hits the Yoshi, then drags it off the ramp where they fall out of view of the camera.*

END

Yoshi looked uneasy. "You ARE just trying to tell an interesting story for the audience, right?"

Douglas pointed to a nearby statue. It depicted a Toad-witch being stabbed with a pitchfork by another Toad. The witch had a rope around her neck that ran to the edge of the statue's base, implying a connected object "offscreen".

At that moment, Garfield marched by with a boulder roped to his neck and to Arlene's (Arlene jogging to keep up), with several Toads with pitchforks and torches puffing along behind them.

Yoshi, looking very uncomfortable, looked around and saw a nearby store that looked to be the place: Mary & Jane's Herbs & Powerups and Shroom Emporium.
The pair stepped inside, immediately getting a blast of hippie odors. A green-spotted toad with bloodshot eyes sat with his feet on the counter. Douglas flashed the clue.

"Uh... I'm looking for Mary & Jane?" he asked sheepishly.

The Toad guffawed. "You're funny, man. I guess you could say that's me. Come in the back for your challenge, dudes."

The pair made their way to the counter, but a look up and down revealed that there was no gap to walk through.

"Gonna have to hop the counter, dudes. Used to be a gap, but I filled it in to make room for more goods."

Yoshi & Doug looked at each other with a shrug and followed the Toad to the back room. They were met with an even stronger whiff of hippie stink that made the brothers fight back vomit.

Ignoring their plight, the Toad made his way through the rows of vats and repurposed deep fryers to the largest section, inside a small greenhouse with a ceiling fan running: Five bubbling vats that were emitting a strange purple gas. Due to the fan, the gas was blowing around the greenhouse instead of dissipating or condensing. The Toad and Team Yoshi slipped into the greenhouse, careful to keep the gas in.

"Here they are, dudes," said the Toad as he pulled out the contents of one vat: a Super Mushroom. He set it down on a bench at the back of the greenhouse and pulled another Super Mushroom from each vat. He gazed dreamily at the gas and inhaled deeply.

"Is this gas... safe?" Douglas enquired.

"Totally, dude," replied the Toad, "It'll make you feel allllllllllll right. Try not to breathe too much of it though, I need to spice up some of my herbs. Let it dry on some Dash Peppers, best time you'll have all month."

"Is this... legal?" Yoshi asked.

"Guards never busted me, so I guess- SWEET SISTER OF SARASA! THE FIVE-OH!" The Toad had spotted guards walking down the street on a nearby CCTV setup. He pulled a remote controller out of his pocket and pressed a button. On the CCTV, the store quickly flipped all the displays over, now showing an assortment of flower-print china, teapots and teabags, elaborate cutlery and the like. The sign in front of the store flipped round, showing the back side which read "Margaret & Jeanette's Good Living Parlour". Once the guards rounded the corner, he wiped his forehead and had the store flip back to Mary & Jane's.

"Totally fine, dudes," the Toad finished. He pulled out a tray of Poison Mushrooms from under the bench. "So what you guys are doing is you're going to be prepping these for sale."

"Wai'-wai'-wai'-wait," Douglas interjected, "Why would a dealer work with this show?"

"A-doyyy, dude," the Toad grunted, "I'm making tons of cash, they're jackpot clients, they want plenty of stuff, like a metric crapton of shrooms."

"Where you gonna get those? The government wouldn't want mutagenics, however temporary, like Super Shrooms getting on the streets so easy. Besides, those things are a hundred coins a pop!"

The Toad guffawed. "You're a naive little dude, huh, dude? That's the military-grade stuff. Cheap recreational stuff you get on the streets is a different strain, 'stead of making you big or resurrecting you when you die, it just makes you see stuff that you ain't been seein' before. Your boys don't want too many of those, I know a guy in the castle who can grab enough mil-grade 1-UPs to get a paycheck without anyone noticing. The dudes want like a thousand rec Super Mushrooms, but dyed green. That's where they made their mistake. Payday enough as it is to give the dudes what they want, but I can just dye some POISON Shrooms green and boom, I could damn near buy Toad Town. That's where you guys come in. Don't tell no one, you dudes're s'posed'ta get these things red, but I'm gonna use you dudes as free labour to dye these green."

"You know you're gonna have to bribe us to keep that info out of the hosts' jet."

"Dammit, you're right. Shouldn'ta said that. Uh..." the Toad rooted around under the bench and pulled out a bouquet.

"What." asked Team Yoshi in unison.

"If you look in here," explained the Toad, indicating two particular flowers, "It's got a Slow Flower and a Speed Flower."

Yoshi moved to take the bouquet, but Doug tapped his leg with his own, and the two instead folded their arms.

"Alright! Alright! Here!" the Toad whimpered, pulling out yet another powerup, "I'll throw in a 3-UP Moon. Called that 'cause it'll make you at least that high. PLEASE don't tell the dudes in charge, this sale could make me the biggest Toad since the guy we're named after!"

Doug paused for a moment, pretending to consider the bribe as if it was a pathetic offer, then took the bouquet and Moon.

"THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!" the Toad cried. Doug pressed his hand over his mouth and held out his hand.

"Dude, PLEASE! You've taken some good stuff there already!"

Doug kept his hand out.

"Okay, just take it. This is peanuts compared to the payoff I'm getting from your dudes in charge." the Toad handed them the next clue. They exited the backroom, Douglas looking into the clue. As they reached the doorway, Doug turned and tossed money onto a cart full of Fire Flowers.

"Take it. Keep the change," Doug remarked, knowing the last of the leg funds were not needed.

"What's the clue read?" Yoshi asked as the two exited the store.

Doug passed it to him.

Make your way to the Pit Stop at Princess Peach's castle.

Yoshi tapped Douglas on the shoulder. "Hey, Doug, what was that back there? That was pretty mean."

"Well, one, I did end up paying him, two, we got a free clue, three, we need every advantage we can get to keep up with Garfield, four, I gotta do SOMEthing to stand out against the other 40-odd people here and five, sometimes you gotta get a little tough to get ahead."

Yoshi looked at his orange partner with mild disdain.


Teams 13CCC & Van Pelt, 3rd/4th

"I'm telling you, Linus, it'd be a lot easier to help the herb man," puffed Charlie Brown, as each team dragged a boulder.

"I do not wish to foul my body with such dreadful plants," Linus grunted, "and I won't have any of you doing it either."

"I'm doing great pulling," Lucy added.

"C'mon, Linus," begged Charlie Brown, "Just let me go. Please."

Linus whipped Charlie Brown with his blanket. He fell to one knee, but Snoopy yanked him back up just before his foot was trampled by their boulder.

"Linus, I think I'm going to break something doing this."

"No."

Charlie Brown sighed.

"'Scuse us," mumbled Peach, as she and Daisy passed the three children and dog.

"Your Highness, please," panted Charlie Brown, "Can you give us at least a hint as to how to get the boulder rolling so fast?"

"Let's see... Can't go behind it, can't touch it... Oh yes, give it a good tug every now and then to get it rolling."

"Thank you," Charlie Brown mumbled as the green in his vision slowly slipped to grey.


Teams Garfield & Yoshi, 1st/2nd

Garfield continued his unstoppable powerwalk. Arlene jogged behind him while Yoshi & Douglas were in a full sprint to get ahead.
Garfield & Arlene were mere feet from the Pit Stop. Jon & Chad were crouched at opposite ends of the Pit Stop, as they anticipated a photo finish.
Yoshi & Doug flew across the castle court. All they had to do was get on the rug at the bridge before their opponents.
Garfield took another step towards the mat.
Douglas tripped, but Yoshi, sensing the possibility of failure, reached out behind him instinctively, catching Doug's hand and pulling him back on-balance.
Garfield took another step.
Yoshi was taking such long strides he would be in danger of losing the ability to procreate if he had humanoid anatomy.
Garfield's foot seemed to hang in midair as it fell towards the mat underneath. Arlene placed her hands on his shoulders in preparation to leapfrog onto the mat.
Yoshi grabbed Doug's hand again and flung him towards the mat, while himself charging for it.
Doug was headed for a faceful of dirt instead of mat, but reached out with both arms, managing to get them over the mat. One knocked Garfield's raised foot, moving it away from its expected destination. Arlene, mid-leap, caught her foot on Doug's head, and immediately contorted to try and catch Garfield to break her fall.
Yoshi crashed into them all. All four flew right over the mat along with Jon, who was caught in the way. The racers simultaneously snapped their heads towards the Pit Stop. Team Princess were bolting across the courtyard with the four Peanuts representatives not far behind. They crawled closer and reached for the mat. Meanwhile, Peach & Daisy leaped for the mat, overshooting. They both put their hands down behind them, assuming a baseball slide position as they hit the ground, colliding with the other two teams. Chad jumped back. As the three teams dusted themselves off, Chad pulled aside a cameraman to review the footage. In the time it took to do this, teams Van Pelt and 13 Chocolate Chip Cookies made it to the mat in respective order and promptly collapsed against Garfield and Arlene, who had decided to rest on it..

"Attention racers," Chad told the finished teams, "I've reviewed the footage and I've decided the results."

A slow-motion replay played of Yoshi tackling the other three off the mat.

"In this first section, nobody has touched the mat."

The replay skipped to when the three teams reached for the mat. It gradually slowed to a pause as four hands touched the mat.

"As you can see here, only one team had both members contact the mat before Peach & Daisy booted the others out of the way. That team is...

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...Princess Peach & Princess Daisy, Team Princess."

They cheered and hugged.

"...And, since you finished in first place, the two of you have won a five-minute headstart on the next leg."

The replay skipped to the Peanuts superteam's finish.

"Now, as you can see here, Garfield & Arlene decided to rest on the mat, meaning they earned second place, while Team Yoshi...

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...are still in the race."

"WHAT?!" they yelled in unison.

"That's right. At no point did Doug ever touch the mat, meaning they have to act fast in order to place fifth."

Yoshi & Doug turned around to see teams Arbuckle and Free the Roosters step across the mat. Yoshi & Doug bolted onto the mat to secure a finish before anyone else arrived.

"Mr Arbuckle and Doc Boy, you are team number 5. Roy and Odie, you are team number 6. Meaning Yoshi and Douglas, you are team number 7."

"Win by six inches, huh?" Yoshi asked Doug. At this, Doug's face turned a rather lovely shade of maroon.


Team Mystery Box & Bucktionary of Crossovers, 11th/10th

"Alright, dudes, you're free to go," said the Toad, handing them the clue. The four made their way to the mat, where they found the top seven along with the eighth and ninth placers: respectively teams Bowser and Alley Cat.


The Toad heard a jingle at the door. It was a customer.

"Hey, dude! How're you doing?" asked the Toad.

"Not bad. Got a coin last week and just got it changed for scrip."

"That's awesome, dude! Usual?"

"Nah, man. I'm gonna splurge a little. Gimme five Dash Peppers, one dusted with 3-UPs, the rest Poison Shroom'd."

"Sure, dude! 235 Tees," said the Toad, accepting payment from his customer and placing a paper bag containing the goods on the counter.

"Thanks!" his customer replied, taking the bag and a whiff of its contents. "Mmmm, last time I saw something this potent I was in the Beanbean Kingdom."


Team Duck, 12th

"THE ROCK'S GONNA GET ME! THE ROCK'S GONNA GET ME!" Wade screamed, not having bothered to untie himself from the boulder out of sheer fear of it. Wide ran ahead, touching the mat just in time for himself and the others to dive out of the way of Wade and the boulder. Wade ran to the castle doors, found them locked, and turned around, met with the boulder, which knocked him through the front of the castle.

"You're paying for that!" Toadsworth yelled from some unknown room in the castle.

"Despite almost killing us all," Chad said, picking rocks out of his cap, "Wade and Wide, you are team number 12."

Team Kong, 13th

Donkey Kong lugged his boulder on his back, with Diddy sitting on top. He reached the finish line and casually tossed the boulder away. Handing out clues was Toadette.

"Hi, guys!" chirped Toadette, "Here's your last clue!" She handed them the clue.

They made their way to the Pit Stop and were about to step on the mat when Team Good Eggs slipped between DK's legs and grabbed the finish first.

"Sheldon and Booker," said Chad, "You are team number 13, meaning Donkey and Diddy Kong, you are team number 14."

"Aw maaaan, we didn't win!" whined a voice. Chad looked down. Team Nermal had finished.

"Nermal and Normal, you are team number 15. Remember, in the words of Doc Arbuckle, you have to not lose, not win."

"But winning's the best part," Nermal sulked.

Confession Cam

Nermal & Normal- *They sit, arms folded and faces angry*
Normal: We didn't win.
Nermal: The cute ones are supposed to win.
Normal: We deserve to win.
Nermal: If we can't win, we're only gonna stay for the publicity.

END

Team Sheep, 16th

"See, Lanolin, I told you we wouldn't come in last," Bo said to his sister.

"We didn't come in first either," Lanolin refuted.

"Bright side, sister. We're still in the race." Bo replied, still keeping his grin.

"...In that you gotta STEP ON THE DARN MAT!" Lanolin screamed. She had gotten to the mat, but Bo had stopped just short. Bo, now informed of his error, moved onto it.

"Bo and Lanolin, you are team number 16."

Lanolin stepped off while Bo remained on the mat.

"YOU CAN STEP OFF NOW, SWEATERBRAIN!" Lanolin screamed. Bo flinched, stepping off the mat as he jumped back from the sudden loud noise.

"I told him not to sample the Shrooms," Lanolin said under her breath.


Team Poison Mushroom, 20th

"Alright, now you're just being a dead weight," Hal said.

"Not my fault I can't drag this boulder. I got no arms."

"Then why the hell aren't we making Shrooms?!"

"I told you! It feels like cannibalism to me, and it's hard to breathe in there."

Hal finished dragging the boulder, snatched the clue and the pair made for the mat.


"Mario and Luigi, you are team number 17. Welcome to the show, Luigi!" Chad told the green plumber.

"Thank you very much!" Luigi replied happily.

"Birdo and Edna, you are team number 18. Gerald and Sam, you are team number 19. Meaning..."

"IT'S NOT MY DAMN FAULT I GOT NO ARMS!" came a voice. Team Poison Mushroom were arguing all the way to the mat.

"GUYS, GUYS!" yelled Chad, trying to reign in the bickering teammates, "Jeff and Hal, you are team number 20. However, we have decided that non-standard eliminations will not cause the Pit Stop to be non-elimination. Meaning Team Poison Mushroom, you are the first team eliminated from the Amazing Garfield Race."

At this, both teammates cursed at the top of their lungs.

Confession Cam

Team Poison Mushroom- *They are pointedly looking away from each other, Hal having his arms folded*

END


Author note: And that was the first elimination on the Amazing Garfield Race. Again, please check out the simultaneously-updated sequel, Total Crossover Chaos, which is based on Survivor/Total Drama rather than the Amazing Race.

Elimination:

Team Poison Mushroom

Rankings:

1st: Team Princess- Peach & Daisy, Princesses

2nd: Team Garfield- Garfield & Arlene, Dating Couple

3rd: Team Van Pelt- Linus & Lucy, Siblings

4th: Team 13 Chocolate Chip Cookies- Charlie Brown & Snoopy, Boy and His Dog

5th: Team Arbuckle- Jon's Dad & Doc Boy, Father and Son

6th: Team Free the Roosters- Roy & Odie, no relation

7th: Team Yoshi- Yoshi & Douglas, Brothers

8th: Team Bowser- Bowser & Bowser Jr, Father and Son

9th: Team Alley Cat- Garfield's Mom & Raoul, Mother and Son

10th: Bucktionary of Crossovers- Jason Fox and Bucky Katt, Accomplices

11th: Team Mystery Box- Dave and Nick, Friends

12th: Team Duck- Wade and Wide, Adoptive Brothers

13th: Team Good Eggs- Sheldon and Booker, Brothers

14th: Team Kong- Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong, Father and Son

15th: Team Nermal- Nermal and Normal, Brothers

16th: Team Sheep- Bo and Lanolin, Twins

17th: Team 64- Mario and Luigi, Brothers

18th: Team Birdo- Birdo and Edna, Sisters

19th: Team Toad- Gerald and Sam, Coworkers

20th: Team Poison Mushroom- Jeff and Hal, Roommates (ELIMINATED)

DNF: Team Fox- Paige and Peter Fox, Siblings (ELIMINATED)