The Sex Trials

Disclaimer: I am using the innocent materials of J.K. Rowling to disripute my demented mind :)

Summary: Four teens (Ginny,Harry,Draco and Ron)are accused by er- four other teens (Hermione,Neville,Pansy and Seamus).Who slept with who? Who's straight, and who's gay? And, what exactly, do Harry's boxers conceal within?Who had sex with the condom? And most importantly...who does the pregnancy test belong to, especially if it's positive?

Directions: Illusions or reality? Dreams, or late night strolls? Within each chapter, you will find a smutty evening with a couple. Each evening holds a hint; of who's sleeping with who, and who's pregnant. It's for you to find out. And in the end, you'll see if you were right...God, I sound so damn lame! There's some slash in this too, so if you can't stand to watch a minute of "Cruel Intentions" I don't think this is a healthy dose of fanfiction for you.
"So anyways, J.K. made me take my freaking favorite red marker and just draw a scar...I mean, is she kidding herself, or what?"

"I totally agree, Harry, although she's brilliant, she needs to stop stalking HP characters...and who's this devilzzz girl? I hear she's crazy...and she's making these weird fics about us..."

"Worse than the story where Ron becomes gay."

"Exactly! Everyone can see he already is," said the mysterious black haired girl.

"ACTION!"

"Oh right," said Harry, shifting his robes again and picking up the sock from the floor and pointing it accusingly at Hermione. The lights dim.

"Oh, Harry, I never meant to make you find out this way!" said Hermione, covering her face with her hands dramatically.

The lights brightened a bit.

"Hey, how the hell did that happen?" Harry asked, surprised.

"Shut the hell up, Harry, and pay attention to the fic, okay? I STILL haven't read Prisoner of Azkaban yet, and it just arrived from Amazon."

"Oh, you should, it's so damn good...better than the second Harry Potter movie."

"Anyways," Harry said, nonchantly, looking at the black haired girl and gasped.

"Cho!"

Cho covered her face with her hands like Hermione.

"Oh, it's true, it's true, Harry! Me and Hermione have been planning this for months!"

"Aha! I knew it...I can't believe my two favorite girls are getting it on without me!" Harry groaned.

Cho and Hermione both unconcealed their eyes.

"What're you talking about?" Cho asked, her eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, Harry, we're not getting it on."

"Wait a minute..." Harry said, puzzled. "If you weren't planning to sleep together, then WHAT are you doing?"

"We- we have a doublefmfo," Hermione mumbled.

"What? Can't hear you."

"We have a double date, dumbass!" she yelled.

He gasped.

"What?! But I'm supposed to be your steady boyfriend!"

"Yes well...Tubby asked me out ...and I couldn't help myself..." Hermione blushed.

"Tubby?" Harry repeated blankly.

"Tubby," Hermione said, looking at him warily. "Tubby the house-elf."

*****SHORT CHAPTER ENDING******
*Uncanny and gay announcer's voice* This chapter will end short, since you will be finding out who Ginny slept with in the next chapter, and who Cho's double date was supposed to be. For more information on Tubby the House Elf, go to or go to my user profile and read "The Attack of The House Elves". Thank you, and good night. Next on Fraiser....