A High School Freshman A Year Late
Dear Diary, I'm sick like really sick and I'm to be starting high school in 3 count them 3 days all due to me pushing myself to get my band's first album done recording wise. God, I work myself too hard and everyone realizes it but it takes my brain off of things that happened in my past. I know that I should have free time and I'm working on it but I'm still not better even with therapy to get help therefore I can't have that free time if I'm going to look back on my childhood. It has almost been 3 years since I came here and I still haven't healed yet. Do you know whom I spend my time with? It is either my band or my family that live here so I'm not alone even if I have a butler and a nurse but with them I just feel alone since they aren't truly my family. Sure, they feel like family to me but I know they aren't family and if they knew about what I write in the diary about what I feel is family it would hurt their feelings. Well I have to get to sleep before Marcus yells has at me to sleep more instead of being up. ~Susanna Young Mi Rizzo
"Susanna, Uncle Jin Sang will be here shortly," states Marcus as he shakes me to get me up.
"Five more minutes please, my head is bothering me," I reply since in reality I'm getting over a sickness and this is probably a wellness check to make sure I can go to school tomorrow my 1st day of high school though I'm 15 years old and will be 16 in late October. "He is probably coming over to check up on my health and then leave so I don't need to fully get up."
"I'm not sure about that, Mistress Rizzo, now get up."
"Fine, I'm up."
"It doesn't look like it and I told you and will tell you this again, go to bed at a decent hour so I can get you up especially when you're sick."
"Idiota," I state in Italian. "Voglio di piu sonno!" (translation: Idiot, I want more sleep!)
"Lo so, ma lo Zio Jin Sang sara qui in meno di mezz'ora, Padrona Rizzo. Hai bisgono di alzari e io ti constringono a salire, se non si alzano presto." (Translation: I know but Uncle Jin Sang will be here in less than a half an hour, Mistress Rizzo. You need to get up and I'll force you to get up if you don't get up soon.)
"Va bene, hal vinto, Marcus, mi svegliero. E lo Zio Jin Sang partando qualcuno con lui?" (Translation: All right, you win, Marcus, I'll wake up. Is Uncle Jin Sang bringing anyone with him?)
"Non che io sappia, Padrona. Vado a prendere la vostra colazione pronta. Uova straoazzate e te va bene?" (Translation: Not that I'm aware of, Mistress. I'll go and get your breakfast ready. Scramble eggs and tea all right?)
"Si, il te al lampone ma invece di te earl grey che state facendo da quando era malato." (Translation: Yes, raspberry tea though instead of earl grey tea you've been making since I was sick."
"Come vuoi." (Translation: As you wish.)
He leaves and I sit up but at least my head isn't spinning so I grab black skinny jeans and a red t-shirt before going into my bathroom to get changed. I get changed and put some dry shampoo on my hair after I wetted it down to get a pick through my insanely black curly hair since there is no way I can get a shower in less than a half an hour. My band could get away with it but I can't since my hair needs to be properly wash and it goes down to mid-back. I just slip on slippers that Leo bought for me around Christmas but even in the summer heat in LA when I'm sick I'm cold and I can't feel the heat all that well. They are great slippers mostly being black with a red skull on them even if Marcus didn't know why he bought them for me other than I falling in love with them when I first saw them but didn't get. By the time I'm out my breakfast is ready so I eat it before Uncle Jin Sang comes in to the penthouse.
"Susanna, how are you feeling this morning?" he asks.
"Better, I'm not as dizzy or feel as sick as I was," I reply. "Though, you could have come at a later time so I could have slept in some this morning."
"I know but I have to get to RCA records after I talk with you and it will be a long day so I had to come at this time. So you think you are up to going to school tomorrow?"
"Yes, I do."
"She'll be all better by tomorrow, Mr. Greenberg," inputs Jasmine. "It wasn't much just the flu and over working herself but that just lasts for 3 days anyways and she seems on the mend."
"That's excellent to hear which is my main reason I'm here to see but I was wondering if you could come to our house for dinner tomorrow after school. It won't be anything much just family but it is your first day as a freshman in high school not to mention you have been working your ass off since The Rose Angels was signed to Spirit Records for your first album. You are about done with it right?"
"Yes, all the main vocals are done and were done before I got sick but we on to the background vocals which is the only thing that need to be done for the last song. It won't take that long to record but it needs to get created so we can hear it and then send it off."
"I'm very aware of the process so you'll come?"
"Count me in; do you need me to bring anything?"
"No, you don't need to bring anything now I'll be off and I'll see you tomorrow after school."
He leaves and I just shake my head realizing I could have came out in pajamas but the way Marcus was playing it I thought it was more important than this. Marcus doesn't say a thing but continues to clean which he seems to be always doing since unless I'm sick I don't need help dressing and I like to keep it that way. I finish my breakfast and head to my room to get shoes on since I feel like getting out for awhile even if Jasmine and Marcus will object to but right now I need fresh air and I'm not planning to go far just the park across the street. It is just a pair of black converse shoes since I'm rather tall (almost 5'10") and I don't do well in heals.
"Where are you going?" asks Marcus.
"To the park across the street," I reply. "I need fresh air but I will probably be back in an hour so you don't need to go with me plus I'll have Rex and my shelties with me."
"Ok, but call if you need anything."
I get my dogs leaving my 2 cats here since they are inside cats. I head to the park but this is a walk for all them since I didn't put Rex's uniform on to say he is on duty not that he isn't on duty on the time. He is Marcus's extra eyes on me though he can't speak but Rex knows when I need a break and so forth making him a good part of the family. Princess and Star (my shelties) are merely pets and as much as they know, what is going their height makes them not good for me to use as an assistant dogs and the same way with my 2 tabby cats. The park isn't busy right now, which is one of the reasons I'm walking my dogs alone otherwise I would have Marcus with me.
"Miss Rizzo," I person states behind me so I look to see the bell boy from my apartment, "Do you need help with them?"
"No, I'm good but thanks for asking and I would rather be alone right now," I reply.
"No problem, I got to get back before my boss yells at me."
He leaves and I finish the hour walk around the park so when I'm back in my apartment I try to relax some but usually me and relaxing don't mix well. So after awhile I end up in the office/den to work on a few things as an opening act over the summer that will go into schooling next year so I have to start thinking on it but maybe not as soon as I did. Marcus fined me at lunch time here and he just has to sigh knowing that I didn't take the break as I need.
"You need time to yourself and no one else," he starts.
"I know but things need to get done so let me at least get them started then I can relax," I reply. "Besides it has to deal with my schooling for my 10th grade year and it needs to be looked at because of the tour. I'm not going to work on it all day I just need to look over a few things."
"You just got over a sickness because you worked yourself to the bone and I don't want that to happen again so soon and you need to learn to take time to yourself than to make music and doing things for the band. I know you can't relax without thinking of them and what they did but sometime away from all of this will do you good. What about your boyfriend Eric or your friends could you hang out with them?"
"Eric is ignoring all summer no matter how many times I contact him or I gave him time to think on what went on in my childhood because he demanded to know. As for my friends I've seen them all summer and they think I'm sick so they don't want to bother me until I get totally better so what else is there to do?"
"That would make sense why I haven't seen Eric all summer or you saying you were going to hang out or have a date with him but I don't think he needed all summer to get used to what you went through. Could you call your friends to see if they can hang out with you or something so they know you are feeling better? I mean it would get you of the house and you wouldn't have to think about work or you could go out with your band to do something with them that isn't band related. They've been over while you were sick to see how you were and Leo has been over but you haven't been with him much alone since you started to date Eric maybe that is a possibility."
"Leo, but Eric will be thinking I'm cheating on him if I spend all day alone with Leo and he has already accused me of that. Though I think this ignoring period is more than what it appears on the surface but I'm not sure what. I will have no qualms about it but I'm not sure how his parents will react with this being a sudden invitation to hang out unless I go over there for the afternoon. But I'll give him a call after lunch."
"Things you do for love but I'm sure he'll like seeing you again alone."
I smile at that and I just want a sandwich for lunch which I can easily make for myself and don't need Marcus to make it. I do eat my lunch with a glass of milk plus chips as Jasmine and Marcus get their lunch, which is from yesterday's leftovers that they had since I had none. Chicken soup and earl grey tea for a few days for every meal can get to me so I didn't want it today and that their leftovers right now doesn't look good to me anyways. I finish eating and get the phone to call his parents but they say that he can come over but just give them time because of his younger triplets. For most of the afternoon we hang out which is a nice thing to do but I really need to talk to Eric to see what is going on and if needed break up.
"Leo, have you seen Eric at all this summer?" I ask.
"No and I take it he hasn't contacted you all summer has he?" replies Leo. "You may as well breakup with that loser, he did try to control you once and he will try again. From what you told him, you were right to give him space but he wouldn't need this much space unless he is either cheating or trying to control you and it might be both. But you'll see him tomorrow at school so you can talk to him them and make your decision. But at least you are better than you were yesterday."
"Thanks Leo."
"Oh and my cousin that goes to our school just got signed to Spirit Records."
"So Timoteo "Little Tim" Costanzo Jr. got signed. He has been bragging in class that Spirit Records will sign his band up once they got the demo CD. Oddly he always brings it up when I'm around since we are in the same classes but I don't go bragging that I'm going to get signed or I am signed since when my band got signed we were still forming the band. No one was thinking demons and I think we just got our drummer and we were doing a show because of a request from the club's owner who even said that record labels visit it often for new talent since the club heard we were new and just formed. I didn't figure on trying to get signed until we were settled in and got some local fans but the company executives wanted us there and then not to mention we were the first signed since it just started shortly before we were signed. I guess it was good timing for us or not but I'm not knocking our opportunity I just don't want to brag about it."
"You and Tim have different personalities and your band members have already graduated and your cousins gave you two that were in their makeshift garage band before they went to Korea and signed with SM Entertainment as did your sister. But he does have a crush on you and that is the main reason he is bragging about it to you as much as he is a philanderer and he goes through girls in no time but I think he just likes the chase with you. Then again I don't know any guy in the school who doesn't have a crush on you because of your hourglass body and hard to get personality even if it is resulted from being abused as a child."
"I see, so do you have a crush on me?"
"Come on you are my friend; I would never think of you in your light," defends Leo.
"I didn't mean to get defensive about it," I reply sighing. "I was just curious because I might have a crush on you but since you aren't really answering it I'm not going to tell you."
"I deserved that one to be honest with you. So are you having dinner tomorrow alone?"
"No, I'm having dinner with Uncle Jin Sang and Aunt Sun Hee. I will probably having dinner alone the rest of the nights though unless they tell me differently but I'll cross that bridge when I get there."
"As normal but I was just asking and I'm sure you busy this weekend since you have at least one more song to finish up. I don't want you to over work yourself that made you get sick this time and you know you already have a weakened immune system because of several factors especially your head. I guess I should get going since mom will be coming soon since dinner will be done soon."
"Thanks for coming over, Leo, and we only have a few more to do but not much so I shouldn't work myself sick this time."
"Let's hope not, I'll see you in school."
He kisses my forehead, leaves, and I really wish it was on my lips but it never is unless neither one of us are in a relationship then our friendship boarders on a full blown relationship that it is confusing. He broke up with this girl he was dating but she was wary of me, which I didn't blame her considering how friendship can go. Also, I'm not trying to deny my feelings for Leo but it is easier to let this play out than forcing my feelings on him and I think he is denying it. The evening goes well enough since I just get my backpack ready for tomorrow and making sure things are in order while I'm at school so Marcus and Jasmine to have to work to hard while I'm at school.
The next morning I get up at 6 to get ready for school and I grab the mid thigh chocolate brown skirt, a matching jacket, a white button down shirt, the red tie mandated for everyone to wear, and sheer black pantyhose that will go with a pair of 2 inch healed black shoes. I slick my very curly hair into a pony tail since it does keep my hair away from my face and I really don't feel like putting a head band in it. If I had the time in the morning during school, I would take a shower but not it is in the evening unless I wait until the weekend but I just washed my hair not too long ago and I go normally every 3 days without showering and just use dry shampoo because my hair is rather dry. I mean it is not too dry but I need a good bit of time before I shower next to make sure it is healthy and so my hair stylist doesn't yell at me like she did when I was 13 and just got here. How was I supposed to know my hair doesn't get washed everyday when I was a kid since my dad died? He was the one to take care of it and I know during showers he'll at least wet it down and put conditioner in it. I do put conditioner in more often than cleaning it to help with the dryness.
I get out of my room fully clothed to see that Marcus has made breakfast and am doing up the cooking dishes making his back turned to the counter I eat on for majority of my meals since he is doing something. The smell of blueberry pancakes is overwhelming and it looks like he made fresh blueberry syrup to go with the pancakes since I know we bought a lot of blueberries awhile ago and they need to be eaten so it was a good use for them. As I'm buttering my pancakes, Marcus turns around and smiles at me.
"I see you made blueberry syrup from the left over blueberries," I state. "And the breakfast is delicious."
"At least you eat it, Jasmine just wanted coffee and bread and I will eat my part later. A good breakfast is important of the day and at least you won't be starving before lunch time comes around. And since your school starts at 8 and it is only 6:30 you'll have at least a half an hour to get ready since it takes 20 minutes to get to the place. Mistress Susanna, am I to pick you up right after school is over or wait a bit before coming and picking you up?"
"Do your best judgment since we'll be waiting for each other and I'm sure my friends will want to talk to me about the summer and how my album is coming along. Not to mention complaining about Little Tim getting a record deal and how he'll use it to pick up girls. It's bad enough when he has his band but now they are signed it is going to be bad and we are in every single class since he is almost a year younger than I am. Though I'm sure he is just taking the belly dancing class just for the girl's part and not actually dancing."
"Will do but I'll probably be waiting for you when you are done so you don't need to call. And be clear with Eric today when you talk to him and not get lost in his eyes not that I think you would but he should not be ignoring you like this."
"Don't worry about it, I never have like the other girls and I only dated him because it seemed we had something in common well a lot of things in common really. He has tried to control me early in the relationship and demanded that I tell him so I'm afraid he'll try to control me again and this time much worse. If I have to I will break up with him I will but I need answers before I make that decision."
"Understandable"
I finish my breakfast and for the half an hour I make sure Rex's uniform is out and ready to put on right before leaving but Marcus eats his breakfast before leaving. Jasmine only comes out to wish me luck but I can see that she caught my cold while taking care of me to get better when I got sick. When we get to the school, I see Eric talking to his friends loudly and I really hope I can get a word in edge wise with him but I get out of the car and head up to him with as usual Rex Right beside me. His friends scatter one of them shaking his head so I turn to him and he just smirks.
"You look a lot better," he states. "Feel better instead of being sick?"
"Yes, I'm better but we need to talk. Why were you ignoring me all summer long? I thought I made time for you from making my album," I reply.
"I know you did and I'm sorry for ignoring you all summer. I needed a lot of time to get used to the idea of you being abused as a child but I really don't blame you for keeping it to yourself and not in the media. But I need to make sure you don't..."
"Eric, you aren't to control me and you never saw me through this thing so don't even attempt to say that I shouldn't see Leo he has saw everything that I went through, not you. And because of what I went through, I do not like to be controlled especially since it starts the abuse in most instances and I don't want to go through that again. Am I making this clear for you?"
"Yes, but I have to control you so I know you won't get hurt by anyone so you are to be mine and no one else."
"Eric, I don't want to be with you and I already gave you a warning if you tried to control me again. I'm sorry we're through."
"No were not, bitch, do you understand that me dating you means I'm even more popular now because of you. We are still dating and I will control you and if you have plans with family tonight forget it."
"We ARE THROUGH, Eric!" I yell. "I don't want to be abused again and you are being unreasonable and I didn't tell you earlier because I thought it would scare you away not do this to you."
I turn on my heals and he grabs my arms before slapping my face hard and then saying, "Fine but note you will never get a guy better than me and you will crawl back."
He leaves in a huff and I just rub my cheek where he slapped and Leo, Little Tim, and Milana, who drives Leo and Tim and my friend despite being 2 years older. Leo runs over to me before the others and I'm sure he knows what happened. The other two come over and Tim smirks at me while Milana takes my hand away from my face but it just stings so I know there is no bruise on it so there is nothing to worry about. It certainly caused a scene since everyone is looking in my directions and whispering to each other but I didn't mean to make him made but he didn't want to realize that we are over, damn Eric. I'm half aware of Milana asking me something but Leo was the one that brings me out of my thoughts.
"Milana, she most likely broke up with him causing the slap," replies Leo. "We talked yesterday and wanted answers as to why he was ignoring her and she didn't know if she wanted to end the relationship."
"That would make sense and Susanna, are you alright?" asks Milana.
"Yes, sorry for worrying you guys, I just wasn't expecting it but I was afraid when he started to control me something might happen," I reply and Leo gives me a look saying I should tell them but I never do. "At least I got out of it before it did become abusive."
"It's alright and Tim, head in side before I smack you so hard that it comes off, she just broke up with him and I won't let you have Susanna like that."
Tim leaves saying curse words and Leo sighs.
"Milana, I can take care of Sue, there is no need for all of us to stay outside," inputs Leo.
"No, there is something more you two have been keeping a secret from me and if Tim new he'll use it in a bad way," she replies.
"Exactly what are you talking about? My childhood?" I inquire.
"Yes, I mean not many people know right off the bat controlling will lead to abuse even if you two are incredibly smart," answers Milana.
"I don't feel like talking about it here. Too many people and it might get leaked to the media which is why only certain people know and others don't and I don't want Tim to hear this since I don't know what he'll do with it."
"Do you not trust me with this information? Sue, we are friends and you have more friends' do they even know? I won't leave you as Eric did but something has never added up with you especially why you have to have a dog and at points, you don't like to be touched. If I had to guess, you were abused as a child and you aren't over it yet not like you ever will but unless you tell me I can't help you. I understand you and Leo have this bond from the angels you are host to since Leo told me when he was a child but this is different."
"It's not that I don't trust you, Milana, but you'll tell your family and that will lead to Tim knowing and I don't know what he'll do with it. Will he get girls with this information? Try and get to me when I have no interest in whatsoever? Tell the media? I don't trust him since he is such a player."
"You do bring up excellent points but I won't tell them and Tim being the little snoop he is said he already knows but doesn't want you to know. If this is too public for you then I can stop by your apartment after school but I want to know."
"Fine and we'll talk after school."
"Thank you."
We get inside and I drop off my bag in my locker before Tim comes up behind me and he just looks at me with his right eye.
"So we are label mates," he states. "Aren't you going to congratulate me?"
"Yes, congratulations to you and Local Wonders, now what do you want?" I reply knowing him he wants something more.
"A date this Friday, I have two tickets to a play this Friday. You are the hottest girl in the entire school and it will put your mind away from Eric and I will not take no for an answer."
"You have nothing to blackmail me with so, you will have to settle with a no because I would rather go out with Leo than you. I don't want to be one of your girls that you sleep with and never call again so you can ask someone else."
"I may not have anything that you know I can blackmail you with but I know more than you want to know and I will use it since I'm sure you don't want your deepest darkest secret leaked out into the world where it cannot be controlled. So I suggest you take it if you don't want it leaked out."
"I'd like to know when you found out and what it is."
"During the summer before I called off my friendship with Eric and he said everything you told him so I know I don't need to go one further. But he should have known better to force it out of you and let you lead it because you could judge his character and knowing what he'll do before telling him. Don't worry I'll let you date Leo but I just want one date with you since we'll be seeing more of each other since we are label mates. So if you say no I will release the information so I suggest you think carefully of your answer and I look for it by the end of school."
He leaves and I slam my locker as my blood boils since I don't want him to know and he is a pig. I get to my first class, my other friends are there, and they just ask if it is true that I broke up with Eric, which I just say yes and give my reason. They don't press much more into and they normally don't press more into my life since they always have to study or too involved with love, which I would rather not be involved with. The teacher comes in and the bell rings so we start school, which she just hands out papers that need to be signed by our legal guardians but starts right away, into what we are to learn but at least Leo is beside me and he hands me a note.
What did Tim want with you? I saw him talking to you at the locker and I don't think it was good.
So I reply.
He wants a date with me this weekend because he has two tickets to a play apparently and I don't want to go out with him but you. I want to say now but he said he won't take a now and that he has something that I don't want to in the media since he heard it from Eric. I didn't even know those two were friends or were since he said he quite his friendship with him so hopefully this is only between very few people. I don't trust Tim for some reason or another with all of the attention on him so I feel like I have to go to keep it quiet so I don't have much choice other than saying yes. Leo, please talk him out of this?
I hand it back and I receive another.
I'll try but other than being a man-whore he is nice so he might be worried for you which is why the date even if he has a crush on you and you have a crush on me. Yeah, I kind of figured that out and I would like to hang next Friday if it is possible but I'll understand if you are busy.
I smile at that since I would love to hang out with Leo all that I can and hopefully go out on a date with him but that would cause more problems. Plus when I got the note; my heart skips several beats as I write back a reply.
Thank you :) and I would love to do something with you next Friday.
It ends at that and I continue to pay attention not as I need it because of the angel since from her I know all this stuff so I'm rather bored. Over lunch I see Leo talking to Tim but I really hope this gets somewhere I eat with my other friends and they try to partner me up with males and I keep turning that down. I really want to sort out my feelings with Leo before I date again so I'm going to hold off on dating then but with Leo and I both single I just want to contain my feelings for him than jumping him every time he is here. The day goes well even if he and a few of the guys were at the back of the belly dancing class looking at the girls and I feel a few eyes particularly on me and I think one is Tim's eyes on me. The day ends with the piano class, which is thankfully a one on one class with teachers but only one being the head so after the initial meeting we went to different practice rooms.
"Seriously," I state. "You had to wait beside my locker."
"My teacher let me out early unlike yours but then again you had a harder piece that you were pouring yourself into," he replies.
"Whatever, just make this quick so I can leave and not be associated with you."
"I'm waiting for my answer and I'll be out of your hair. Trust me this will only be a onetime thing anyways, Leo will kill me if I continue to date you plus as much I may have a crush on you I have my limits on who I date and fuck. My cousin's love is one of those limits."
"You need more limits before you become a father but if you want your answer, yes I will only to keep this quiet."
"Thank you, and trust me this will make Leo hot for you if he doesn't realize what he has in front of his eyes then I might have to make him more jealous."
"Is this all what it is about?"
"Yes, he has an awful time denying his feelings towards you while you don't deny it so think of it as helping you two out. Then again, this morning might have been just enough unless you asked him to talk to me, which I think that is a good possibility. But anyways I'll pick you up at 4 for dinner and then we'll be going to the play."
He leaves coolly and I get my stuff to go with Marcus. I just tell him Milana will be coming over later and that we'll be talking for awhile so don't expect me to work on homework until after we get back after dinner. And it is just having Dr. Jin Sang sign the papers to hand in tomorrow or whenever we will see the teachers next since I won't see the belly dance teacher until Wednesday and my piano teacher until next week. The instrument lessons happens once a week with either that spare taking up more instruments or practice but my counselor has put me on almost everyone I need for band and then some. Before the instruments, I have Spanish class since I can already fluently speak Italian and Korean so I wanted something different and can use in here. Those are all after lunch before lunch in order I have English, History, Math, and Science in the most generalized term. My counselor though doesn't want to keep me in Spanish since I could go all over the world so most likely next year I will have another language that they offer besides Spanish and the ones I know because of family since the do offer it are French, Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese, Latin, Greek, German, and sign language. It seems most of the science people tale Latin and Greek for terminology and the rest pick and choose since the school compiled this language to help in the world if they were to go to work at other places or they are normally put in the majority of schools like the Romance languages and German. As for musical lessons I'm taking other than piano are vocals, guitar, and bass and Friday is writing music.
He asks a few things about the first day so I end up telling him about Tim trying to blackmail me, which seemed to work and breaking up with Eric. Let's just say he was not too surprised at either but quickly warns me that Tim is not a good choice so it will be only one date and if he tries to black mail me into a date to tell him before saying yes and he'll teach him a lesson. Once back at the apartment, I get things ready so my uncle can sign when Milana comes in and we go into the living room. I know she wants to know but there was no way I was going to tell her at school with media attention everywhere and everyone in the school listening in to as well.
"Sorry about this morning," I start.
"It's no big deal," she replies. "I just want to do know what has happened since it is like a tight secret and so I can get to Tim before he gets to you. Then again, if he has I'll talk to him long and hard about what he is putting not only through but Leo as well. God, he is such a man whore and he would seriously try for you if he knew you and Leo had a thing for each other so he just wants to get under Leo's skin and the fact he might already knows and black mail you with it for a date is beyond disgusting."
"He already did that and he knows since I had to tell Eric and since I didn't know Eric and he were friends since I'm supposed to be Eric's age since he forced me to tell him. I really shouldn't have told Eric due to the face he blabbed it to everyone he was friends with so I have no clue who knows it now."
"God, that is not good but I'd like to know what you went through."
"Of course"
I take in a deep breath and tell her what went on in my child since my dad which I hate telling and I would like to know who knows so I know it can't go to the media. I know it might be paranoia on my part but I don't even like telling it to magazines or these interviews for television or radio that I sometimes because I'm not ready yet which is one reason I don't want a lot of people who will blab to the media to know. She has her head bowed through the whole thing as if she is sad that this happened but I could be taking it the wrong way with her. I just know by the end as always I'm crying though not as bad as it was when I just got out of it but still if I'm crying from it still there is no way that the media will know fully what happened. I have planned only when asked to either deny or accept the rumors going around if a person asks but no one really has asked me if the rumors where true.
"Wow, I'm sorry that you had to go through that," she states after I'm done and wiping tears away. "It's not something that anyone has to go through but some are put through it and you are one of them. Is there anything I can...?"
"No, it's just hard on me but I don't need anything from you other than not telling the press about this because they will question me about once they get wind of it. I'm not in the shape despite being 3 years later from being taken away from it to tell them. I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell the press but it is still fresh in my mind to this day and I am working on it by going to therapy every week."
"I see and I agree if the press knew when it is still fresh in your mind it is not going to be good for you so keeping it so who knows small is a good thing. I promise I won't tell the media or anyone I know other than trying to talk to Tim but our cousin is probably talking him more into making Leo jealous that he isn't your boyfriend. God I hate Henry and he is worse than Tim is when it comes to girls even if he just wants a boy but he carries that not the girls in their DNA and he won't listen to any one. Tim just want laid but doesn't want children. Anyways back on topic, if you need to talk on this subject please don't hesitate to call me since I think for that long you suffered enough and I don't want to say if you have any mental issues that has arisen from it."
"Thanks, I will if I need to and thank you for not prying into much deeper. I know I'm not the only one to go through this hell but sometimes it seems like it and music has become my drug to get over it and it is better than be bottled up. The shit will hit the fans when I release the CD and I'll deal with it then but not before, unless hopefully they'll think it is just ex boyfriends even if it will label me as a slut since we aren't going to dark into this CD since it is our first and we hardly have a fan base. It is just our family and friends for now and possibly the people at that club we played at that got us the gig before anyone of us was contemplating a record deal."
"Correct, but I look forward to the CD and I'll tell people about and hopefully Spirit Records does a good job at promoting it since both of you are new at this. Now I have to get going and pick up groceries for my family since they are working their butts off. I'll see you tomorrow at school."
Milana leaves and the rest of the evening goes well and I have things for the next day ready and I will have a pile of papers for him over the weekend to turn into the correct teacher. The week goes well, Tim is very much hounding me since inviting me to the show making it very annoying, and I can hear the school gossiping about us. Why must Tim do this to make Leo jealous just to teach him a lesson since I don't see this helping much other than making me annoyed? Leo seems rather unshaped when I told him and just said he figured he might do this but that doesn't mean he isn't ignoring his feelings for me and that the rumors will just make everything worse. At least Leo seems to be taking this in stride and not get involved with this petty thing that Tim is doing to get him and most likely will annoy Tim that this isn't affecting him at all. Also Tim has been calling a pet name that is Teddy Bear and I don't particularly enjoy it so I try to get him to stop calling me that but nothing works so I have to live through it for now.
AN: I will not always put other languages in the story but will mark it by the thing being said and in the very beginning of the conversation in that selected language if nothing is noted then assume it is English. If I do put another language other than English it will be Italian or Spanish and if needed the translation unless noted will be from either , Google translate app on my phone, or I know it from taking Spanish Class in high school and college. Do not expect to see Korean and I will only use the Romanization of the figures IE Susanna's and her full sibling's middle names. Any Korean words deemed necessary I will not translate but will most likely have the translation in the AN section and if it was googled search. Like in my previous chapter with grandma in Korean, that was only a rough translation.
