The murky morning light spilled into the seventh year boys' dormitory, much to James's chagrin. He regretted not closing his bed curtains the night before. He rolled over sleepily and buried his head under his pillow. If he tried hard enough he could pretend it was still summer and that Melissa was lying next to him. Opening his eyes a sliver; he couldn't help but feel disappointed that he was in bed alone. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the plain ceiling above him.

The last night he'd spent with his lovely girlfriend had been the hardest. They had sat out on the beach pointing out constellations. James was showing off what little he had remembered from astronomy.

"There is not a star called 'The Glorious James Potter'" Melissa had laughed, her thick French accent setting him on fire. She leaned her head on his shoulder, bright blue eyes looking up at him though her eyelashes.

"Are you sure about that?" he teased. His hand reached out and cupped her face, his thumb skimming her soft bottom lip.

She leaned in until their noses brushed, her warm breath tickling his face. "I believe that I know a great deal more than you do James Potter."

"Oh?" he smiled against her mouth, his heartbeat quickening. "Why don't you show me?"

Their lips met, hers opening for him to explore. Tongues battled for dominance as their mouths meshed. His hands were tangled in her raven hair, her hands making quick work of unbuttoning his shirt.

He didn't know when the memory had drifted into a dream and he didn't realize his hand was wandering down to the ever growing hardness in his boxers. Her dream hands explored his chest, his hand dropped below his waistband. "Blimey." He murmured, his hand beginning the task dream Melissa was embarking on.

"Shit, Prongs!" Sirius's voice pierced through his dream, shattering the moment.

James's eyes flew open to find Sirius tugging the curtains around him closed. "Oh fuck," he cursed, realizing just where his hand was.

"You could at least close the curtains before wanking, yeah?" Padfoot called through the wall of fabric.

"Wait, James was jerking off?" Peter's groggy voice asked, the commotion clearly woke him up.

"Merlin, just forget it. I was dreaming, alright? I didn't know what I was doing." His face burned brighter than Evans's hair. He sat up in bed, too embarrassed to come out. Of course this would happen, he thought bitterly, of all the fucking ways to start the school and I involuntarily chose to put my hands in my pants.

"You could've at least gone to the loo for that." Moony said.

Great, now everyone knew.

"Can we drop it?" James hissed, annoyance replacing his embarrassment. "It's not like we haven't all heard Peter going at it in his bed every once in a while."

This caused Sirius to howl in laughter, which was encouragement enough for James to pull back the curtains. Moony was already setting to work on his tie; the other two Marauders still wore their pajamas. Sirius was still laughing, falling back onto his four poster. Peter sat on his bed, his face beet red, squeaking out hurried protests.

"Well, I'm going to take a shower." James announced. After rummaging through the trunk at the end of his bed he headed to the lavatory, vowing to fully unpack later.


He stared into the steam fogged mirror, combing his hair in a futile attempt to tame it. Melissa had constantly told him that she preferred his hair flat and neat. After adding a flattening charm to it, he gave up and hoped for the best. He could already see the curls straining against the hold.

Heading into the common room, he started feeling pretty good about the day – regardless of where his hands had been. All hopes of everyone else forgetting the incident were dashed the moment he entered the common room, though. The Marauders sat by the windows, Lily and Emmeline with them. They all burst out laughing when James arrived.

"You didn't…" he groaned, shooting and accusing glare at Sirius.

"No mate, but I'm glad you brought it up." His best friend laughed, leaning back against the window pane. "I was wondering what you were dreaming about."

"Let it go." James blushed. If it wasn't for the girls, he'd remind Sirius of that deadly prank he'd pulled the year before – the one that had almost ended their friendship.

"Well, wasn't Marlene talking about his Lily themed dreams just yesterday?" Emmeline asked, brushing her blonde hair out of her face, the morning light shining in behind her almost making it glow.

"That's right, the last thirteen minutes and all of that." Sirius looked James in the eye, smirking.

Lily laughed, her face flushing. "Guys I highly doubt-"

"Oh, we're just teasing Evans." Peter assured her, hoping down from the window sill. "James knows that."

Fuck them. Fuck them and everything they stand for.

"We should probably head down to breakfast." Moony changed the subject, shoving the book he had been reading into his bag.

They made their way to the great hall. Sirius walked with peter, their heads huddled together. Remus walked with Emmeline, his hands nervously shoved in his pockets. James hung back, though, his fingers trailing along the banister.

"They don't mean any harm." Lily told him, glancing back over her shoulder.

"I know," He sighed. "It's just embarrassing."

"Oh, I'm not denying that." her laugh rang through his ears like church bells. "It sounds awkward as hell."

"No offense, but I don't really want to talk about this kind of thing with you." He thought that would've been obvious.

"I can respect that." She nodded. "Were you dreaming about Melissa?"

"You don't get the whole not wanting to talk about it thing do you, Evans?"

"You were dreaming about her, then." She laughed, looking pleased with herself. "Alright, change of topic."

He breathed a sigh of relief as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Pushing past Lily, he made his way towards the marauders. Before he could get too far a hand caught his arm, pulling him back. He looked down into Lily's eyes, confused.

"What is it?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

She reached up silently, her hand going for his hair. "What have you done to yourself?"

"Melissa likes it better this way." He sidestepped her advancing hand.

"Well, Melissa isn't here." She dodged his hand and ruffled his hair with hers until it was nice and messy again.

"What the fuck?" He stepped back from her, unable to bring himself to be truly angry. Instead he faked it, putting on his best no nonsense face, and hoped she bought it.

She didn't.

"You can flatten your hair all you want around your fancy girlfriend but I will not walk around with a head boy who looks like a total prat. Understand?"

"So you do like my hair all ruffled up like I just got of a broomstick." He grinned, bringing up that bitter spring day two years ago.

She shrugged, smiling. "It's better than this foreign alternative."

"I knew it." He couldn't fight the smirk.

"I would still prefer to go around with the giant squid, but you'll do." She smirked back at him, her face looking beautifully devious.

Sirius pulled James aside after breakfast, telling the others that they'd catch up to them in potions. "You're not mad at me, are you Prongs?" He asked once the others were out of ear shot.

James stared at his feet, not giving a damn if he ran into any of the other students bustling by. It was a weighted question and they both knew it. Sirius wasn't just asking if he was mad about what happened this morning.

Sirius looked unnerved by his friend's silence, and started to ramble. "I mean, you and I haven't really gotten a chance to talk since we got back and you know we barely spoke over break. You kind of up and disappeared this summer."

James bristled at that. "No, Padfoot, I told you before summer even started that I had plans."

"Yeah, but you made those when we weren't talking." He ran a hand through his shaggy dark hair, causing at least half of the girls in the corridor to swoon. "I kind of thought I don't know, that you would cut it short or take me with you."

"My life doesn't revolve around you." James snapped with annoyance clear in his tone. This wasn't a conversation he was ready to have he sidestepped a group of Ravenclaws and turned down an emptier corridor. It looked like his first day was going to be shot to hell. He turned to face his friend, looking up at him. "I wasn't going to cancel plans just because I forgave you."

"That's just it!" Sirius exclaimed, leaning back against the corridor exhausted. "I don't think you did forgive me!"

"You almost killed Snivillus and almost made Moony a murderer. It's kind of a hard thing to forgive. But honestly, I'd rather not think about it."

"So you admit it!" hurt flashed across Sirius's face. "You are still cross at me!"

"That's not what this is about!" James hated yelling at his best friend. Sirius had grown up with enough yelling to last a lifetime. "This is about this morning!"

"I'm trying to get us back where we were before this whole mess came about!" Sirius pushed off the wall and began pacing the corridor. "It was just a bit of lighthearted fun."

"You lightheartedly told everyone you caught me tossing off this morning?" James asked in disbelief. "We never did those kinds of things before."

"Well, the last time we really talked you thought Gillian Stratford fancied you, you still had eyes for Evans, Snape was out to get us, my brother wasn't a Death Eater, and –as far as I know- I was practically a Potter!" Sirius exclaimed, whipping around to face James. His grey eyes burned with anger and hurt.

"Can we not do this now? I don't want to start this year off being late to Slughorn's class."

"Oh, right, because you're Mr. Head Boy now. The model student." He spat the words like they were poison. "How could I be so daft?"

"You know I'm really starting to think that this isn't about me being mad at you at all." James snarled. "I'm starting to think you're the one who is mad here."

"I'm not mad! I'm worried!"

"About what?" James ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "What are you worried about Sirius?"

"About us! About you!" Padfoot scratched the back of his head, confusion on his face. "I mean, I thought we were good and then you up and disappear. Moony's getting letters from you but I barely even get a handful. You come back with that goddamn badge on your chest and you're not messed up at all about the fact Evans has the matching one. And I mean, look at you! You tried to flatten your hair this morning –what's with that?"

"I don't know!" James exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Maybe I'm just growing up!"

"Well, I don't like it." Sirius shot back, rifling through his pockets until he pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "You growing up looks an awful lot like us growing apart."

"I thought you quit smoking." James said, his voice quieter. He watched his best mate lift the cigarette to his lips and light it with the tip of his wand. "You know I'm not supposed to let you do that."

"So put me in detention, Head Boy." Sirius challenged, exhaling smoke into the empty dungeon halls. "Let's just make this all official."

"You know I wouldn't do that." James sighed, walking over to Sirius. He took the cigarette from his lips and placed it to his own, taking a drag. "And I'm not leaving you. You know we'll be best friends until the day you accidentally kill over from doing something reckless."

Sirius sat on the floor, motioning for James to sit beside him. "Oh I'm going to die first? I had no idea you were so good at Divination."

"Well, I imagine after you finally find some gorgeous witch to settle down with and get all of your fighting out of your system you'll grow to miss it and go out thrill seeking and then Poof! You'll meet your doom." James passed the cigarette back to Sirius.

"What about you?" Sirius laughed, taking a drag. "I imagine you'll live to be as old as fucking Dumbledore or someshit with a ton of children and grandchildren screaming about. I'll be best man at your wedding of course. I mean, hey, I might even sneak in there and kiss the bride before you."

"You had better not." James laughed.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence as they took turns smoking, passing the thing between them. The future really wasn't that fun to think about. There was a war going on outside the safe walls of Hogwarts. People were dying every day. Nothing was certain.

"Everything's going to change now, isn't it?" Sirius broke the silence, his eyes not meeting James's.

"I expect so." James nodded. "The fighting is only going to get worse."

"We're going to die." It wasn't a question. Padfoot spoke it with such conviction no one could question it. "But we're going to fight, right?"

"Tell me about Regulus. " James changed the subject, watching his best friend blanch in the torch light. "Is he really a Death Eater?"

"You should've seen him the few times I ran into him. He was gallivanting around, pulling up his sleeve at every opportunity to show it off. That horrid fucking Dark Mark. Mummy and Daddy are so proud, of course. Death Eaters uphold all of their disgusting beliefs." Sirius closed his eyes, tilting his head against the wall. "I imagine mum was just flouncing about the kitchen sighing 'Oh, Regulus is the son I always wanted. Why couldn't my nasty ass blood traitor Sirius ever be as good as his younger brother?'"

"I highly doubt your mother would use the term 'nasty ass.'"

"You get my point, smart guy."


"Sorry we're late, professor." James tried his best to sound out of breath, as if they had been running. "We fell asleep in the library."

Professor Slughorn's round face lit up with amusement as he greeted the two seventh years. "Hitting the books pretty hard already, Head Boy?"

"Oh yes Professor, you know it." James nodded, suppressing a laugh.

"You and Mr. Black go sit over there with Mr. Lupin and Miss Evans, they'll fill you in." and with that, the potions master turned back to his desk.

"Looks like he'll be wanting to collect you for the Slug Club next." Sirius hissed in his ear.

"Don't even joke." James warned. He didn't want to be part of that at all. "Plus, I would never abandon our anti-slug club. We throw way better parties."

Lily didn't look up as they sat down at the table, and Remus only glanced up to glare. "You smell like smoke." The other marauder observed, turning back to grounding his fluxweed into a fine powder.

"We had a bit of an incident." James pulled his book from his rucksack and peered over Lily's to get the page number. He quickly flipped to page 394. "Just some things to get through, you know."

"Sirius giving you a friendly hand?" Lily asked, still not looking up from her potion.

James dropped his book, bursting out in laughter. The whole class turned to look at him as Sirius and Remus joined in. Lily continued chopping up her ingredient, the tips of her ears turning red from the attention.

"Nothing like that, Evans. Though it's nice to know your fantasies." Sirius quieted down. He looked over at James's book and left to grab the ingredients.

"Sure, sure." She teased.

Remus poured the fluxweed powder into the cauldron, making a tsk tsk noise as he did so. "Being late on the first day isn't god, Prongs."

"I'd like to think I make the rules, being Head Boy and all."

"That's not how that works." Lily reminded him. "We uphold the rules, we don't make them."

"But that's so boring." He complained.

Sirius returned with the ingredients and soon they went under way mixing a potion. James didn't even pay attention, knowing that it didn't make a difference. He sucked. The only reason he even made it into N.E.W.T. level potions was because he came from a prominent family and Slughorn liked collecting. Not that he hadn't made an Exceed Expectations on his O.W.L.S, just that he wouldn't pick potions. It wasn't like he wanted to be an auror or anything. He didn't want any part of his father's job.

After they finished their half ass potion James carried it to the font of the room to set it on Slughorn's desk. He didn't even notice the greasy haired boy creeping at his elbow until the potion was knocked out of his hands.

"Oops." Snape sneered as the potion pooled at their feet. "How clumsy of me."

James glared at the git, hatred plain in his eyes. If it had been another year, another incident, another James, then he would've cursed him where he stood. He would've used his own demented spells against him. But as it was, James forced a smile. "No worries mate. Accidents happen."

Snape obviously was not happy with James's indifference. Clearly he'd been looking for a fight. He wanted James to hex him in front of Lily. Anyone could tell he had been seething since James had walked in. "Yes, accidents." Snape hedged.

"Do you really want me to acknowledge that you did it on purpose?" James sighed, conscious of his friends' watchful stares. "Because I was hoping we could just do this thing called pretend each other doesn't exist. That way neither of us gets in trouble."

Snape looked up at James like he was dragon dung on his second hand sneakers. "I'm not the one with the problem, Potter."

"Yes, yes, I get it." James held up his hands in mock resignation. "I'm a git. I'm your nemesis. Oh my, you've bested me this time."

"Don't make fun of me."

"Can we just, I don't know, get past all of this?" James presented his hand. "I'm not saying I like you, because I don't. I tell you what, we can attack each other all we want after we graduate but can we just have a truce for this year?" James looked over his shoulder at his friend's table. He could see Lily's hand buried in her pocket, probably gripped tight around her wand. He assumed that the other two had theirs ready as well. Lily wore a disapproving look.

"Don't," she mouthed, and that was all James needed. He turned back to the Slytherin boy and pushed his hand out farther in front of him.

Snape looked down at him like it was poison oak or something complete repulsive. He stuck his nose up at James's offer, turning on his heel and marching back to his group.

"Pity." James sighed, magicking away his spilt potion. He shoved his hands in his pocket, making his way back to the table.

"Why didn't you hex that bastard?" Sirius demanded, his outrage clear on his face.

"Because I promised myself I'd stop picking fights." He answered. New James didn't attack people without valid reason. Spilling a stupid potion wasn't good enough. No, Snape would have to slip up big time for James to act.

"But he initiated it." Sirius placed his wand on the table, confirming James's suspicions. "I was ready to go when you did."

"And what, do what he's been accusing me of for years? Ambushing him four to one? Always using my friends to fight my battles? Nah, it wouldn't have done any good."

"That's really mature of you, James." Lily spoke up, flashing him a kind smile.

His hands gripped the edge of the table, the cool wood keeping him level headed. "First name basis, is it?"

"You've earned it, I think." She shot back, picking up her own potion vial.

The muscles in his stomach tightened as she walked away, his eyes lingering on her swaying hips. He had pleased Lily Evans. All it took was seven years. It felt damn good. For once, James was starting to see what it was like to truly be the bigger man, to be the one who walked away from a challenge – who turned his back on unnecessary fights. He quite liked it.

"I for one am glad you didn't attack him." Remus's voice pried his attention away from Lily. "It would've been a shame for you to lose that prized badge after only one class."

James's hand went to the badge pinned onto his robes. "It's not prized." He defended.

"It sure shines like it is." Sirius elbowed him in the side playfully.