A/N: Thanks for the reviews!
"So to recap," Mr Stark said while a chirpy little robot that he called Dummy cleared the glass enthusiastically. "If you want another drink you should just ask for it and not throw the damn glass on the floor and yell 'Another'."
"My apologies Iron Man, I am not yet familiar with Midgardian drinking traditions." Loki sipped away on another glass of whiskey. Well I say glass but it was really a beer tumbler. It had been a rough day for him and for everyone else.
I stood there awkwardly while the 'Avengers' and Mr Selvig all sat at the bar and discussed what had happened with Loki. They were all pretty exhausted from fighting off the alien army and I was pretty weirded out by what I had just heard.
"So what you're saying is when little Miss Chef brained you with the pan she snapped you out of the same mind control voodoo you were doing on everyone else." Mr Stark asked Loki.
"Essentially. Although it wasn't done via the sceptre, it was all the doing of The Other, a telepath who worked for Thanos."
"Right, Thanos. The Titan who wants to get it on with Death who he thinks is a real person."
"Yes."
"I need another drink."
And I thought alien army was weird. But they were all taking it pretty well, dealing with it like anyone else would which was basically copious amounts of alcohol. Except for Dr Banner who wasn't allowed alcohol because of his...green condition. Green condition is also what one of the line chefs I worked with at the last place called veganism.
"So, little Miss Chef." Mr Stark turned to me.
"Eloise."
"Right then, Eloise." He looked me over carefully. "Do you think you could make some shawarma?"
"Yes, I could!" I was excited to be cooking. Alcohol does not work for me but cooking helps me process. "Where's the kitchen?"
"No clue, I'll call Pepper."
"Can't we just ask Mr Jarvis?"
He clicked his tongue and winked, pointing at me. "Right you are. Jarvis?"
"One floor down and four doors to the left, Sir."
Stark stood up and sighed. "I'll come with you. Need to see this...kitchen thing."
"...I'm in love." A spotless vast kitchen with clean countertops and so much freaking space was laid out in front of me.
Mr Stark just looked incredibly confused. "I don't remember making plans for this."
"It makes me want to cry, it's so beautiful."
"Course I don't remember hiring a personal chef either." He continued as if I hadn't said anything at all.
"This is heaven! Paradise, Swarga, Valhalla, Elysium whatever you want to call it!" Mr Stark threw me a look. "My father read Angels and Demons and decided to take a course on semiotics. He doesn't quite realise that my FaceBook wall isn't...Google."
"That's awkward."
"No awkward was when he posted 'I accidentally took three Viagra pills, will my penis blow up like a balloon' on my wall."
"That's..." He struggled with words which I can understand. My usual reaction is to bang my head against the closest flat surface. "So about that shawarma?"
"It will be ready in under an hour. You could probably use that time to clear up the debris and all the broken windows."
He went off and I was left alone in the gorgeous, gorgeous kitchen. Commercial kitchens are often much smaller than most people would expect and there are always so many people that you have to work in tandem. But here in the gorgeous kitchen with the b-e-a-utiful fully stocked pantry and a walk in freezer, I was all alone to do whatever I wished.
Well, after making the shawarma.
It was a little over half an hour later while I was in the middle of chopping vegetables that the little pop sound came from behind me and I whirled around, still jumpy from the alien attack and also because I was facing the entrance and had seen no one enter the kitchen. That turned out to be a bad idea since I had a knife in my hand and ended up slicing Loki's arm accidentally.
"I swear I'm not doing this on purpose!" I cried out. Seriously what is it with me and injuring the man...god...alien? At this rate there was no way he wasn't going to press assault charges.
"It's fine, just a little cut." And before my very eyes the skin sewed itself back together and once that was done even his shirt fixed itself.
"How did you get in here without me noticing?" I couldn't help but ask.
"Just a basic teleportation spell." He shrugged. "I came here to thank you."
"What?"
"It was your timely action that freed me from The Other's control, you have my undying gratitude."
"...So you aren't going to press charges?"
"Don't worry," Stark's voice now came out of nowhere. Apparently there were speakers everywhere which I suppose is not that much of a surprise since I can hear Jarvis almost anywhere too. "If he does I'll pay the lawyer's fees."
I don't know how I feel about the fact that he can and was listening in. Then again Loki had tried to take over the world so I suppose some amount of paranoia is healthy. It really is healthy, why was I even apologising for hitting him? He tried to take over the world! For Thanos sure, but still!
Loki looked at me intensely. "I owe you a great debt."
"Well you can repay me by never doing that teleporting thing again. I will be dealing with knives and hot trays and liquid nitrogen, you popping in out of nowhere will be the death of me. Literally."
A good few moments of silence followed and because it was getting a bit too drawn out and I had lots to do, I got another knife out of the block and resumed chopping.
I love cutting things julienne. It's just so calming to watch things fall into perfect straight lines.
"As you wish." He said and I looked up in surprise.
"You're still here?" Was he just watching me the whole time? That's kind of creepy. Better to focus on the chopping.
"Well yes, I-"He stopped and cleared his throat. "Perhaps I might be of assistance?"
I looked up to find him doing the intense staring thing again. Weird.
"No I've got things under control."
"Are you certain? I am a deft hand with knives."
"I'm good, why don't you go help clean everything up?"
"It's already done."
"What?" Because that was a lot of mess that he was talking about clearing up. The amount of glass that must have gotten everywhere alone would be exhausting.
He waved his fingers. "Magic."
"Fabulous. Why couldn't you use this magic before?"
"The head injury was still causing me trouble."
"I am so sorry for that."
"Don't be, it was a necessary evil."
"Maybe but it's not something I want to make a habit of. I mean already I've gotten so jumpy that I sliced your arm I can't afford to do that, I'll ending up killing someone! Or worse, myself!" I do not want to die. Especially not by stupidity. On the other hand it might be okay to die in this kitchen. It's so shiny.
"So you want to help?"
"Like I said, I owe you a debt."
"Hmm, alright then, walk and take this up to the dining hall." I handed him the platter of vegetables and shooed him off. "And don't teleport, that's just plain lazy."
"I am lazy."
"Didn't you say you owed me?" I glared with all my might. Which is not much might apparently because he was trying and failing to control his laughter.
"As you wish milady."
He bowed with platter still in hand, somehow managed not to drop anything and walked off. I would have been more amazed if I hadn't seen much better stuff, I mean I know a guy who pulled a plate of risotto out from behind my ear and that was without Magic. Unless it was magic. I mean if Loki can teleport in and out of places, there must be normal people who are non-alien and can do magic too right? Or is it a specific alien thing?
Can't believe I'm actually wondering all of this and it is real. Just this morning I didn't even believe in extraterrestrial life, now this. I knew working for Mr Stark would be mind blowing but I underestimated exactly how much of mind would be blown.
It didn't take for me to be done and soon I followed Loki's path. The dining area was a large table that was hidden from the rest of the room by a panelled wall which was very clever. And it was a good thing the food was done because judging by the number of empty bottles on the coffee tables and the fact that Mr Stark was pretty much lying on top of Dr Banner and talking about the R&D floors, he was well and drunk.
The elevator dinged and opened right while I was setting the table. A man with an eye patch stepped out followed by three others, all dressed like they'd stepped out of Men in Black. Or a funeral home. They all had guns strapped to their belts and earpieces and the second they stepped out and saw him, those guns were all pointed at Loki.
"Ah our guests have arrived, I was wondering what was taking so long." Loki drawled and the one eyed man's nose flared and he growled a response.
"What in the name of hell is going on here?"
It's a good thing I made extra servings.
