Chapter 3

I stopped outside the clinic and just looked. It felt like ages since I had been here even though it was just five years. It took me about a year before I could even say their names without feeling this ache in my chest that would hurt so much I would start to cry. I have been blocking Lissa for five years, still do to this day, though the darkness still leak into me. I started

doing yoga after my first breakdown- I was with Juliet at the time and we fought through it. She learned me breathing exercises and I have never felt better after I controlled the darkness. I can't thank her, Adrian and grannie enough. Juliet was seventeen when I met her- she wanted to do something ells than being a guardian. I was nineteen, almost a year after I came to New York. I helped her get into Columbus and she's like a little sister to me- I send her money every month, even though she doesn't use it. She says she doesn't need it, that I

have done enough. If I was in her position I would've felt the same way. I'm 23 now- a grown woman.

"Rose, want to get inside and say hi?" Adrian asked me. I can never thank him enough either. I smiled at him and nodded. I didn't say much when we went inside. I saw the nurses look at me and whispering to each other. I held Adrian's hand all the way to grannies room. I waited a little before I looked at Adrian and went inside. Adrian had been very confused when I told

him we had become close- me and the queen that is, or grannie as I call her.

She was laying in this white and beige room that did not smell right to me- well I guess when I went to the academy I always got hurt and I always ended up in the same room… Anyways, she didn't look like herself, her hair was out of place and she was pale. Adrian was standing next to me- "what is wrong with her?" I asked. I could feel my eyes beginning to tear up but I

wouldn't cry. I. WOULDN'T. CRY! "She's sleeping now, I told her you were coming and she wanted to stay awake but she wasn't strong enough to keep her eyes open. She's just old- she's dying of age; an early age considering she's Moroi but it's nothing serious" he told me. I went over to the chair that was next to her bed and sat down. She didn't look like herself all gray

and old. She always looked good- she always had a glint in her eye. I took her hand in mine and just looked at her. I heard Adrian move a chair over to me and sitting down. I looked at him and I could see him struggling not to cry. He loved her very much; more than I do I just never realized it. I laid my head on his shoulder and sighed. I felt something wet on my head and figured Adrian was crying. I snuggled into him and let him cry- he needed it, I could tell.

I think we fell asleep at some point 'cause I remember waking up to something touching my hand. Grannie was looking at me, smiling. I smiled and sat up but then I forgot Adrian and he fell off the chair I would've laughed my ass of if it wasn't for the fact that grannie was awake. I sat up more and said "Hi, how are you feeling?" she was about to answer but Adrian got to

me first "good thank you, waking up on the floor is my favorite way to wake up" I just rolled my eyes at him and turned my attention at the queen. She was laughing- kind off. It was a laugh-cough; when you laugh and then you cough. I hadn't realized but it was a tray with a glass of water there, and I took it and let her have a sip. "Here, have some water" I told her.

After she drank some she spoke with a raspy voice "Grandchild, it's so good to see you" and smiled. "It's so good to see you too" I said I could feel my eyes start to sting. I breathed in before I continued "how are you feeling?" stupid question! "I'm filing like I've been in a hospital bed for days" she spoke "I miss the fresh air and the stars, but my dear nephew won't let

me go home. God, I miss my bed" she laughs. It's good to see her laughing; I've missed her so much. I remember the first time she visited me, I told her everything- from the academy and my trip to Russia and to Dimitri turning back and Lissa cheating on Christian. She'd seen them hook up before; they always meet at the same place at the same time. It's funny to think

about that Christian doesn't know about the cheating part. Adrian and I sat with her for hours, just talking to each other. I've missed this, talking. For the last five years I've become this fashion icon and a role model. I'm busy all the time doing a shoot or a music video or a runway show; but I've always taken time off for the family. I remember, Adrian called me once asking

me if I was dating Robert Pattinson which I was at the time. He was so overprotective I laughed my ass off of him; though it was sweet that he thought of me that way. Pattinson and I are great friends- AMAZING in bed but so is Taylor Laughtner. We were drunk and had a good time nothing more- it's not like it was a threesome- which it TOTALLY was but I'm not gonna

brag. Robert and I dated for about a year but we decided to split up and stay friends. I call him as often as I can but now he's off doing Twilight stuff… Glittering in the sun my ass; they look like they're been dipped in fairy dust! Anyways- back to Lissa the cheating whore. I'm not mad at her for doing what she did- I mean I thought it was a onetime thing but it turned out

to be a daily thing. I'm so angry at her, I feel so sad for Christian and they're precious daughter. Adrian told me she was Dimitri's daughter but since Lissa never told Christian about the affair he thinks it's his. God, I feel so sorry for him.

"What are you thinking about?" grannie asked me waking me from my daydreaming. "Oh, just me and about Christian and his daughter; he has no idea that Lissa cheats on him with Guardian Belikov. Why haven't you said anything to him?" they didn't say anything for a while. "Well, we figured since you left because of it, you should be the one telling him. In public or

in private that is up to you"

Huh- not what I had expected.