"Uh, yeah, I think you know her pretty well."
Wait. Did my heart just stop? This can't be good…Does he mean me? Oh my God, what if he's talking about someone else! Like Kelly or someone! I know it's a long shot, but anything's possible.
"Oh…" Pam's voice faded away.
"Do you have any idea where I'm going with this?" he asked confidently.
"Yeah…" she replied timidly.
He smiled and looked up to see Pam's eyes widened and her face flushed. "Are you feeling okay?" he asked concerned.
"Um, not really, but I'll be fine." Well, of course I'm not feeling okay; this is crazy! Maybe I should just leave. Now. Damn, there's only one car…and it isn't even my car. Oh crap. Suck it up, Beesley.
"Okay, I don't know how else I can say this, so I'm just going to say it. I love you, Pam. I don't know if you feel the same way. I sure hope you do, but there isn't anything I can do. I mean, you're with Roy for God's sake. And you've been with him for years now. So you don't have to respond or anything. Just think things over." He felt a tear formulate in his eye. My God, why am I crying? Guys aren't supposed to do the crying. God, my stomach must be in like 6,000 knots right now. And I barely touched my pizza.
Pam became slightly dizzy and had no clue what she could do. She couldn't believe this had actually happened. She thought this was just going to be a nice lunch out with her best friend, not a confession of his love.
"Jim, I do love you. A lot. You've been such a great friend to me for the time I've worked at Dunder-Mifflin."
Those were not the words Jim wanted to hear. Just a friend? The tear was beginning to cap at the bottom of his eyelid.
Pam, apparently, wasn't finished talking though. "I've been with Roy for so long that I don't know how I would handle anything different. I mean, just this conversation has my brain running all over the place, I don't know how I could possibly tell Roy that I was leaving him for another man."
The single tear slid down Jim's cheek and he instinctively wiped it away. He stared at his cold pizza; he wasn't even able to meet her gaze.
"I'm going to have to think things over, Jim. And I'm so sorry to put you in a position like that, but I need to do what's best for me," Pam said gently.
"You want to know what's best for you?" Jim exploded, "I AM! You might have loved Roy a long time ago, but do you still love him when he leaves you home alone and he comes home drunk? And still expects you to make him dinner? I would never do that to you, Pam. I love you too much to ever hurt you like that."
"I know," Pam replied. Her voice had lost all emotion. Her eyes were empty. Jim saw the emptiness and reached over to grab the hand that was rubbing the water droplets from the side of her water glass. She didn't pull away, which surprised her, and she looked to see him pulling a ring box from his coat pocket.
"No. I can't marry you," Pam stated sternly.
"I wasn't going to ask you to marry me. This is only a ring to show my love for you. It is supposed to take the place of that engagement ring. I want you to take it. You obviously don't have to wear it right away; I want you to have a chance to think everything through. Just sleep on it," Jim said as he placed the small navy box in her trembling hand. He reached for his wallet and left a single 20 dollar bill for the check.
Without thinking, Pam stood from her chair and walked emotionlessly to Jim's car. She couldn't even force herself to cry; there were no tears in her eyes. She had no idea what she was going to do.
The drive back to Dunder-Mifflin was awkward and silent. Once they returned to the office, they were half an hour late and Dwight attempted to punish them, until Michael called him an idiot and made him clean his coffee mug.
Pam quietly gathered her things and slipped out the door. Who will notice if the receptionist is gone for the remaining three hours of the day? Well, probably the people that call, and maybe him…
She drove home knowing she had to make the biggest decision of her life.
