Third chapter on the second day! Woohoo! Probably a record for me XD. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: The poem 'How doth the little crocodile' is owned by Lewis Carroll.
Commencing: Fanfiction: Wonderland: Chapter 3
Chapter 3
"Oh great!" I look down at the small crystal table, which is now as small as one of my pinkies. I slump against the wall, banging my head on the crystal chandelier. It sways and I reach out to steady it, only to accidentally crush it in my fist. The shards of glass seem to bounce of my skin, seeming like specks of dust compared to my gigantic body.
I try to pick up with microscopic key with my huge hands, fumbling it and dropping it every once in a while, before finally managing to slip it into the tiny keyhole and open up the garden.
"I hate myself," I grumble, as I lie down sideways, trying to see one-eyed into the small tunnel. Suddenly, the pattering of feet draws my attention and I sit up just as the White Rabbit returns.
He glares irritably at me, his golden eyes glinting. "Hurry up! The Duchess doesn't like his guests being late!"
"The Duchess?"
The Duchess, like the Caterpillar, is a great friend of the Queen of Hearts, going as far as adopting the Queen as a brother. Before Wonderland or the Order of the Hearts had begun, the White Rabbit had helped out the Queen when he was in trouble, thus gaining the friendship of the Duchess. Because of this, the Duchess refuses to take sides, not wanting to watch the fight between two of his greatest friends.
"Well, yes!" The White Rabbit rolls his eyes and I resist an urge to snap back a remark.
"Why aren't you going through this hole?" I point a finger at the small wooden door.
"That's for new agents." The White Rabbit says nonchalantly, as if he had answered this million times before. Which, he probably has. "Returning ones get a shortcut through the Looking-glass." He turns away before I can ask more. "Good luck."
"Goddamnit, bloody hell!" I unleash a torrent of curses the moment he disappears from sight. If I hadn't drunk the entire shrinking potion down in one go, I wouldn't be stuck here!
I insert a finger into the tunnel in the wooden door, and suddenly the Cheshire Cat's voice, mechanized and robotic, speaks through an invisible speaker.
"Identify yourself, Wonderland Agent."
"Uhr…" I am utterly creeped out by this, but I close my eyes and try imagine the Cheshire Cat speaking these words. Not working. She doesn't phrase her words like that. "My name is Alice, at least, that's the alias assigned to me. My real name's Sanji.. Er…"
"Checking identification."
I wait nervously.
"Identified, Agent #032, alias 'Alice'. Wielder of the Vorpal Sword, weapon No. 02."
"Err… Yes, that's me. Can you help me out a bit? I… can't fit in the hole."
"Repeat after me and you may enter."
"Okay…" There was silence after that and I immediately begin to stammer anxiously. "Was that a trick question? If it was, then can I try again? I didn't know…"
"Repeat after me. How doth the little crocodile,"
I relax and feel my mouth's corners begin to twitch. I had many a practice with this poem, my mother had taught it to me when I was young and I had remembered it word for word. I just had to recite the poem right? That was the entry ticket. The Mad Hatter had once told me that this poem would come in handy, and she was right.
I crossed my arms, closed my eyes and began to recite at a bullet's speed:
"How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!
"How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spread his claws,
And welcome little fishes in
With gently smiling jaws!"
I uncross my arms and grin proudly at wherever I estimate the speaker to be. Silence greets me and I become a bit less confident. I was sure that I had not missed a single word.
After what seems to be eternity, the mechanical voice speaks again. "Incorrect. Intruder alert. Commencing defensive mode."
"What the hell?! I did what you asked!" I yell angrily at the speaker. Then it hits me. I had accidently recited the entire poem, while the speaker had just said the first stanza of it. I felt like slapping myself. Why did I have to be so obnoxious? I set my hand down and felt it touch a puddle of water. I looked down, seeing the water that was leaking out of each locked door- save the mini wooden one.
"Oh, shit."
Suddenly all the doors flung open, and water gushed out, filling the room steadily.
"Oh shit, oh shit oh shit ohshitohshitohshigarbarghabburbleargho…" The water filled the entire room, from floor to ceiling, drowning out my words and I felt myself shrinking. The water must've contained a shrinking potion, because immediately I was level with the mini door and managed to slip through it, holding my breath.
I paddled quickly, wasting no breath, closer and closer towards the light at the end of the tunnel. Finally I reached it, and the water washed me out and into a luscious garden blooming with plants. Oddly enough the plants towered over me, shielding out the sunlight. This was amazing.
"I am never going through that again." I get up and brush my wet suit off, glaring at particularly no one. My best suit, ruined again.
"Hello, hello? What do we have here?" A jeering cackle brings my attention upwards, where I see a blonde man with closely cropped hair in a feathery boa. Dark sunglasses shielded his eyes from view and he kicked his legs lazily from where he was perched upon a large leaf. "Is that a new agent I see?" A maniacal grin spread across his face, distorting his features.
"Who are you?"
"Fufffuffuu… Why, little Alice, you know who I am." He let loose another cackle and changed seating positions, now lying on his stomach with his legs up in the air.
"The Dodo." I say immediately. The Dodo was one of the earliest elite agents, gaining authorization to enter Wonderland as soon as he finished his training. Before the White Rabbit recruited him, he had been a colleague of the White Rabbit, so doubt he was one of the first people the White Rabbit had approached when he had the idea of starting Wonderland.
"Yes, yes." The Dodo rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet and he hop down right next to me.
I jerk back instinctively, something telling me not to get close to him.
"Here you go." The Dodo hands me an invitation. "The Mad Hatter invites you to her tea party. Tea-time, at the March Hare's place."
"Wait, but when's tea-time?"
"Anytime, for them!" The Dodo shrugs and laughs. God, he really does like laughing. "We're all mad here, but I'd say those two are the maddest!" He springs away, and walks towards the forest of greens, singing softly under his breath.
I catch the words as they fade away:
Whether you're cold or dry or sad,
This'll put a smile on your face,
Come and join the game, good lad,
Come and join the Caucus-Race!
You'll laugh and smile with tons of fun
There'll be prizes to find, in little a case,
Out and running, in the sun,
Come and join the Caucus-Race!
I wondered whether or not to follow him. He was the only agent I had met so far, and the Caucus-Race did seem fun.
"I'd rather not have you follow after the Dodo." The smooth voice of the Mad Hatter makes me turn around.
Dressed in her usual black attire and purple top hat, she's as stunning as ever. A black silk jacket that's buttoned over her cleavage, underneath, a blouse that is the color of sunlight on a jade green pool, a frilled white tie dotted with purple polka dots, and a laced blood colored skirt with black patterns- she's as dark as Lucifer but as radiant as Michael.
I can only do so much to stop my self from swooning over her. Such behavior is not tolerable for a Wonderland Agent.
I notice something I didn't before- her boots were splashed with blood and she had a card- the 9th of Spades, sticking out of the top of her hat. Blood red ones have replaced her usual white gloves and I back away quickly, knowing that she had just come back from a mission and had not yet recovered to her normal state.
She holds my gaze and giggles- a high-pitched laugh that sends chills down my spine and approaches me. "Don't look at me like that, Alice. It makes me feel unwanted." Suddenly she's behind me, leaning in close, so close that I can feel her breath on my neck. "Of course, I could always kill you. Blood is so pretty, and it blooms like a flower when I break people," She giggles.
I only know realize that this is how the Hatter is normally. In Wonderland she can unleash her blood-lustful nature without worries, while outside of the Head Quarters she has to restrain it.
She flips over my head and a grin-even crazier than the one I saw on the Dodo, spreads across her face. "Don't look so scared, Alice! We're all mad here! Not a single one of us is sane! Not even the White Rabbit!"
I shiver as I realize that she repeated the exact same words the Dodo had said.
"Oh, don't be so blunt to him," The Mad Hatter's talking to herself now, and I edge away slowly. "He's new here." Suddenly she's back to her mad self. "But he'll have to get used to it! We did!
"I suppose we should show him around,
"But the March Hare's waiting!
"But he's Alice, my dear, dear self. We trained him!
"But it's teatime!
"6'oclock?
"See?" She whips out a battered pocket watch, oblivious to the bewildered look I was giving her. "Ooo!" She turns away and leaps into the woods. "Tea-time!"
"Wait!" I can't help but stare, love-struck, after her. Even as a manipulative, cold, calculating sadistic psycho, The Mad Hatter's beautiful.
She pops back in a moment, calmed down and back to normal, and waves at me. "Ta-ta," before disappearing among the ferns again.
"You might want to avoid her," Another voice says from above. I look up, about to tell this new voice how fed up I was with voices coming from above and behind, and that I wouldn't be surprised if a voice started coming out of my ass, but I catch myself just in time when I see the Cheshire Cat.
"How different the Mad Hatter must seem to you," She smiled idly, brushing a lock of orange hair behind her ear. "You must've figured it out, right?"
"Wonderland is a place where the agents can show their true nature," I say. "Lady Cheshire, am I right?"
"Of course," I can tell she's flattered with my new nickname for her. "It's a shock for every newbie, but eventually they get used to it." She points her manicured finger towards the east of the garden. "The White Rabbit's waiting for you over there."
"Thank you, my lady," I bow and head off, but she stops me.
"You'll have to pass by the Flower Garden though. Don't pay any heed to them, especially not the Rose."
I feel my heart surge. The Rose is the most beautiful of Wonderland Agents, blessed with beauty and grace, and an uncanny ability to kill. Despite developing an attraction towards the Queen of Hearts, she still remains loyal to Wonderland, or so it seems. I cannot wait to meet her.
A vein bulges on the Cheshire Cat's forehead, and I can tell that she's fed up with the beauty of the Rose. She shakes her head and waves me away. "Go on, now. Don't want to keep the White Rabbit waiting."
I thank her and she fades away into the greenery.
I trudge across the hard gravel, towards the place where the Cheshire Cat was pointing at, wondering how Wonderland Agents can tell between which path leads to which. The entire garden looks bloody same to me.
After a while of walking, I hear the chatter of excited voices and quicken my step, eager to meet the Rose.
I exit the garden and find myself in a luscious flower garden, surrounded by human-sized flowers that bloom in every color imaginable. The gravel underneath my feet turns to soft, moist dirt and I step cautiously into the garden.
"Oh look, a newcomer!" A violet moves as it speaks, and I realize that these aren't flowers. What I've mistaken for flowers are actual people- beautiful woman with luscious bodies, draped in materials that resemble the petals of various flowers. They lounged on sofas made from leaves, chatting and sipping flower wine.
"He's handsome," A petunia reached over from her chair and patted my arm. "Sturdy, too."
I jerk my arm out of her grip. Sure, I love being the center of the attention among pretty women, but I really needed to go. Perhaps I could visit them later…
"Who is this?" A commanding voice full of importance brings my eyes to its speaker, and at the sight of her beauty I nearly die.
Her beauty is beyond compare. Words cannot describe how pretty she is- this Rose. She blooms with utter grace and allure, her dark eyes sparkling with the celestial light of the stars, her long black hair as dark as night but shining like the sun… Her face as pale as snow and her rose-colored outfit folds delicately around her body like an elegant ball gown, layers of sparkling pink material layering each other, giving an impression that she actually is wearing the most beautiful rose.
"Who is this vermin?" She moves and I catch a glimpse of her heaving breasts. I pinch my nose to stop the nosebleed from bursting out. Of course, I'm too in awe of her beauty to notice that she insulted me. "Who gave him permission to enter here, this man?" She says it like it's an insult but I don't notice as I fawn over her.
"Though…" she purrs and my heart soars. She fingers my chest. "He is kinda sexy… Perfect for my collection… Of course, no one could compete with my dear Luffy-sama…"
I'm so happy I completely miss the statues of stoned men that lay behind her, all frozen in position by the Rose.
"What are you doing?!" The White Rabbit suddenly appears at the edge of the garden, and the sight of him, more menacing that before, shakes me out of my trance.
The White Rabbit, his golden eyes flashing, stomps up to the Rose who quickly lets go of my shirt and steps back, face flushing with embarrassment that she had been caught.
"Not him, Boa! Not him!"
"Why not?" She taunts, though uncertainty flickers in her eyes. "You know what I mean, Trafalgar. All men are the same to me! I can do anything, and no one even you, Trafalgar, no one can stop me! Because I'm beautiful!" She flings her head back and points down at the White Rabbit, but he's unfazed.
"Not him." The White Rabbit steps towards the Rose, who flinches. He places a hand on Death's Pocket Watch, the sword that can cut through anything. "You don't know who this is, Boa. This. Is. Alice."
"Alice?" The Rose stumbles back and her face turns red. "Alice?"
"Yes!" The White Rabbit turns away, dragging me by my arm. He walks out of the garden, and hisses at me. "Don't ever do that again!"
I protest immediately. "I didn't mean to! It was an accident!"
But the look he gives me next signals that what he says after is true. "Disobey me one more time and I will make sure you suffer something worst than death."
I shudder. "Yes." The seeds of doubt planted inside of me by the Caterpillar are definitely growing, and I find them wrapping around all it is that I believe in, sucking out all the confidence I had before. I thought the White Rabbit was, in fact, better than this. But too much experience with Wonderland Agents tell me otherwise. The look he gave me… It was the look of a madman who would not be afraid to sacrifice everyone on his side to achieve what he needed.
I shake my head. My duty is to Wonderland. I will be willing to sacrifice myself for its needs. But I can not help but thinking:
Is the White Rabbit really is that heartless?
End of Chapter 3
I love references to supernatural beings. For those unexperienced in Christianity Mythology or whatever they belong to, (I'm not religious) Lucifer is another name for Satan, or the Devil, and Saint Michael is assigned by God to fight Lucifer. Or at least, according to the TV show Supernatural. XD Reviews greatly Appreciated!
-Veratican Justice
