" A thtupid ring?" I stared down into my hand disbelieving. How was this going to protect me? But I had believed in weirder things before, so I slipped the ring on. I admired it as I walked down the flight of stairs, more light illuminating the fine piece of jewelry. The black metal was twisted into two capital "I"s around a incredibly yellow stone, and it sat perfectly on my finger, like it was made for me. I almost ran right into Jake while walking in an awed daze to our room.

"Wow Sol, where'd you get THAT? Its quite fanciful, if I do say so myself." I smirked at his accent after shaking the fuzz from my head. Strange moment. I let my arm gently slip around his shoulders before replying.

"An old friend of mine thtopped by and gave it to me." he leaned in closer. Our strange relationship, having started out a "friends with benefits" type of thing, had sort of melted into us being boyfriends. Although both of us classified it as "bisexual." He had been very supportive of me, somehow knowing I had needed help, but never pressing for details. He claimed he was happy with the promise to "give a fellow a warning before the damned Mafia rains down upon us, or till you're right and healed and up for talking about it again."

However, I wished I had not ever met the wonderful jungle man, because I had now put him in the firing path of unexplainable danger.

"Look, Jake…Um, could you pothibly be able to thcedule a vithit to Jane? Like, for tomorrow?" don't ask why, don't ask wh-

"Whatever for, mate? I love going to see my dear sister, but why should we go now?" He looked at me quizzically before the almost audible click hit him. "Oh, wait. It has something to do with your 'friend', doesn't it?"

I sighed, and looked away from that piercing green gaze. "Yeah, it doeth."

"So we need to get away for a bit? Hm, it's a mite last minute, but Jane's incredibly efficient, I'm sure she'll having everything ready plus a cake on the table when we arrive."

Glad I was not looking him in the eyes, I half whispered "Not we…" I cleared my throat, pulled some courage out of my ass and repeated a little louder "Not we, Jake. Jutht you. It'th a….perthonal deal and I want to be around for a bit."

He scrutinized me for a moment, and I could tell what was coming.

"I can bloody well take care of myself, thank you very much. I'll not be leaving you here to face your hellhounds on your own."

Sighing at his stubbornness, I knew I would have to ease him into the idea. "If you're here, I be too worried about keeping you thafe than anything. Do thith for me. Pleathe?"

His eyes, once unbreakable fortresses of 'I'll get my way' were cracking. He sighed at me this time, muttering about 'damn cripple' before pulling his cellphone out of his pocket and pushing some buttons. He lifts the

"Now listen here, Sollux. I'll let you have this round, and I'll go visit my sister. But I'll only be gone a week. No way am I missing your birthday." He winked before turning back to his phone with an overly warm greeting to his sister.

My birthday. Shit. June 1st, the first day back into the real world, that I allowed Jake to celebrate as my date of birth. My real birthday I preferred to stay buried with my old name.

If the guy from the roof had known where to find me, then it was safe to say Doctor Pain did or could find out too. So, I decided to go and stay with an old friend.

I waved to Jake's plane, smiling until it was gone. Then I dialed a number I had almost forgotten I'd had.

Dirk Strider was the ironic ninja. Silent mechanical genius. Flawless forger. It was under those last circumstances that I met Mr. Strider, Jake's 'chum' who gave me the identity I had now. I also learned plenty of defensive moves from the completely crazy hermit. Now I was about encroach on him again.

"Talk." the stoic voice said into the microphone.

"Hey, Dirk. You got room on your couch for an old cuthtomer?" I said as deadpan as possible. It was like a game, Who Can Be More Emotionless?

"…Yup. Just come in. You're on your own for food." Click.

He was still as pleasant as always. However, he did deal in some seriously paranormal stuff, courtesy of his sister, and was secure even from the creepies that hide in your closet. I couldn't think of a better place.

Although someplace not swimming in smuppets might have been good. They were everywhere, every nook and cranny of the apartment. Except for the couch, which was almost smuppet-free. I was pretty lucky Dirk cared enough to clear it for me at all. I sighed and sat down, knowing it would be unlikely that I would be seeing anything of my host unless he got the urge to strife, so I just settled in and ordered a pizza.

The next three days just sorta went like this. I got up, found that the rest of the pizza had been eaten, so I figured it was a fair trade, his couch for my pizza. I went to a little café nearby and drank shitty coffee while using their Wi-Fi, then went back bearing pizza and orange soda, Dirk's drink of choice.

But as I was walking to pick up the pizza on that third day, I felt something. Something that flickered in the corner of my eyes. However, when I turned around, there was nothing there. I just continued walking, trying to convince myself it was nothing, my heart pounding madly.

"You've been fucking impossible to find, Sollux Captor" A voice said in my ear a some kind of blade slipped around throat and pressed into the skin.


(AN: I hate myself and my procrastination some days. I finally got this written on vacation and typed it up this morning. Thanks endlessly to all the nice people who read and review and I hope I can really start digging into the plot soon!) - bN