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Chapter 3

Beauty from Pain


Sai was no stranger to pain. She'd experienced more than her fair share over the long years of her life. It came in all shapes and sizes, in all matter of different forms. As she'd gotten older, she'd found many ways to numb herself from the sensation. In some cases, she'd even come to enjoy it.

Not this time.

She'd never experienced anything like this, and certainly not a pain that lasted for so long. She'd learned that ghostly woman that had been visiting her regularly was named Ayame. That woman was high on Sai's shit list. She'd make sure that twittering pixie died slow. She'd enjoy dragging it out, composing different methods to make her suffer. After all, Ayame was the reason she was suffering so much.

That woman had reached into her and torn her soul apart, and the pain still remained with her. She found she couldn't even move her body without escalating the pain. Pain that seared her every muscle, pressed down into her bones, and went even deeper. Straight down into her very spirit. She'd rather be burned alive. At least that type of pain would be manageable, and eventually stop all together.

Instead, she was left alone to writhe. To find even the smallest amount of peace, she'd taken to her thoughts and counting the seconds as they ticked by. At least that way she'd be able to be able to account for some passage of time.

Thankfully, she'd been left alone since those pieces of her soul had been taken from her. She would have much rather had the company. Some other type of pain would have been able to distract her, right?


She'd fallen in and out of consciousness over the span of the hours.

When she woken up this last time, there was a fierce determination in her. She had to find a way out of here. It hadn't been the first time she'd attempted, but it had been the first time she'd had no need to worry about her attempts of escape being discovered. She was still alone, and she wasn't about to pass up the opportunity.

Sai twisted her head slowly, grinding her teeth when the pain rocketed through her. Her breath caught in her throat, and she felt as if she was about to suffocate for a few short moments. She gasped when she was finally able to breathe again, and she squeezed her eyes shut. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth, chewing roughly as she pried her eyes back open. Her attention settled on one of the shackles around her wrists. It fit tightly around her flesh, the only hope she had of wriggling free was to break something. If she could manage that, maybe she'd be able to pull her hand free. It wouldn't be pleasant, but she didn't see an other options. With the shackles locking away her energy, all she had to depend on was her physical strength, and even that was waning.

She bit down harder into her lip, the metallic taste that washed over her tongue told her she'd broken sink. She hardly paid it any attention. Wriggling her wrist while pulling against the shackle. She did this for some time, roughly five minutes by her count. If she could use her other hand, breaking her thumb would be a simple task. That would have been just too convenient for her, wouldn't it? She took in slow, deep breaths as she forced through the searing pain in her spirit.

"Just a little more." She thought, worrying at her lip with her attention set up on the shackle. It cut into her skin, but she continued to work at it. Eventually, she was able to twist a small portion of the bottom of her hand just beneath the shackle. She let out a heavy breath, and even with the grinding pressure of bone against bone she felt relief. She closed her eyes tightly, took in a deep breath and held it. Violently twisting her wrist while jerking downward. There was the sound of a sickening crack that bounced off the walls, and Sai proceeded to grind her teeth together. Her thumb had dislocated, slipping itself into a painful position in front of her palm.

She wriggled her wrist, pulling against the cuff as she did so. There was still a notable amount of resistance, but she was making progress. Eventually, with one last tug, her hand slipped free. She huffed out her held breath, taking in another through a trembling jaw while she brought her hand closer to her. She had to drag her arm across the surface of the stone table, it felt as if someone had filled it with lead. She took in steady breaths, focusing on her breathing while she adjusted her palm against the stone. Struggling to lift her hand, she let out a slow breath just before slamming her hand back against the stone. Grunting with a short whine when her thumb popped back into place and added to the pain scorching through her body.

Sai sucked in a breath of relief, lifting her trembling hand to rest on her chest with a soft sigh. Her eyes fell closed as she continued to count the seconds by, but she didn't allow herself to simply lay there for too long. Time was far too precious, and she had no clue when someone would drop by to pay her a visit. She twisted her upper body to face the remaining shackle upon her wrist as best she could, unable to maneuver her legs to get a better position. She brought her free hand to her mouth, drawing in a quick breath before sinking her fangs down deep into her palm.

She was immediately greeted with a wash of blood upon her tongue, and she drug those fangs across her skin while pulling away from her hand. Her arm was shaking as she lifted it up to her bound wrist, working her fingers into her palm to force the blood from the wound. The fluid fell with a wet plop against her wrist, and she wriggled and pulled upon it. Continuing to work the blood from her wounded hand while pulling against the metal with all the strength she had that remained.

Thanks to the bloody lubrication, Sai was able to pull her wrist free without dislocating anything from the other hand. The moment it had popped free, she flopped back against the stone and curled her arms over her chest. Clinging desperately to herself as her body trembled. She was exhausted, and she hated it. She needed appropriate sustenance. Ayame had been forcing many mundane forms of nutrition upon her, but that did little to truly offer her anything of value. She shifted slowly, groaning lowly as she forced herself up onto her elbows. She trembled as she stared down to her ankles.

This was going to be a problem. If she couldn't find some sort of solution, her only option would be to cut her own feet off. That wouldn't be beneficial to her at all. It would take months to grow them back, in her weak and malnourished state. She didn't have months! A few hours, at best. She pushed herself up further, sitting upright for only a moment before slouching forward. Her palms braced between her legs as she panted heavily.

Her attention turned around the room. Even if there was barely any light at all, it was easy for her to make out every detail of the room around her. Sadly, the only thing in the room with her was a lonely sink in the corner. It didn't surprise her, considering it seemed that her captors had thought of practically everything. He was the one that put her here, and he was more than acquainted with her to know what precautions to take.

Her attention fell back down to her ankles, squinting down at the shackles. Her vision started to blur as she stared at them, and she shook her head. Wobbling where she sat, she clenched her jaw tight. Groaning softly while the pain consumed her, trying with all her might to push it to the back of her mind. She struggled to open her eyes, but it only lasted for a moment before her body simply gave out on her. She collapsed onto the stone table into a boneless heap.


Darkness was there to great her again. That same emptiness she'd experienced before.

It had been a reoccurring factor. Although, it didn't happen every time she blacked out. It had happened enough for her to become accustomed to it.

It was simply as if she were floating in an abyss. She couldn't breath, and she couldn't see. It was odd, not being able to actually breathe. However, whenever she attempted to speak it was like she didn't lack the oxygen at all, and the words easily spilled from her lips.

Here, she felt completely numb. No pain to speak of, and she'd grown to like this emptiness. The first time she'd experienced this emptiness after her soul had been torn, she did feel the pain. However, she'd learned that all she had to do in this world was will it away. Poof! It was gone just like that. Seemed simple enough, right? Even though she had tried to imagine some sort of light, it didn't come. She'd even tried to imagine a beach, with silky white sand and crystal clear water. And the smell of coconut and papayas wafting on a breeze. Definitely a human luxury. For a time, she'd felt the warmth of the sun. Heard the rolling waves of the ocean without ever seeing them.

She stretched her arms out to her sides, going through the action of sighing without ever having taken the breath to do so. She couldn't get over the strange feeling, but it was easy enough to brush aside. She took on a reclined position, crossing one leg over the other and propping her hands behind her head.

It felt good being able to move. Even if it was in a world completely uninhabited, except for her lonely population of one. There was a distinct feeling that she wasn't actually alone, though. The difference between when she was alone here, she actually enjoyed it. She imagined the warmth of the sun again, soothing her body in a way that she'd desperately needed.

"I thought you would use this time more wisely." Her voice rang clear as a bell in Sai's ears. Deep, dark, and ominous. It sounded old, older than she could ever hope to be. She should have been intimated by it, but this was a voice she'd known all her life.

She rolled her shoulder, as if the voice could see her.

"I do not like how casual you are being." The voice said to her, as if it had actually seen her.

"Well, I don't like a lot of things." She sneered in return, bouncing her ankle as she puckered her lips.

"Do you not think you could be constructing some way to free yourself? I am capable of taking away your pain in the time you spend with me, however it does not come without additional pain to myself."

Sai felt her body relax even further, her eyes fluttering open with a frown. She was greeted with the same emptiness, no matter where she looked. "How do you suppose I do that?" She sounded irritated.

She heard the voice laugh, a soft sound that send chills up her spine. "Do you suppose I should supply you with all the answers, child?"

Sai went through the motion of a breathless sigh, her shoulders slumping.

"It would be nice if I could see you. See something." She spoke quietly, barely a whisper while she wrapped her arms around herself.

Sai would love to believe she was all powerful, without a single shred of fear. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't afraid, but that was nothing new. She lied about her emotions far too often. The truth of the matter was she was terrified. Even if she didn't speak those words out loud.

There was that soft laugh again, and she felt as if the voice was shaking it's head at her. "Sweet child, you do see me. I'm all around you."

"Oh." Was the only thing Sai could have thought to say in response. Her eyes turned around the emptiness, not seeing a shred of any source of light or even another shape.

It made sense. Sai knew the possessor of that voice, and should have known just where she was. It was just so strange. She'd seen this voice all her life, but she'd never been enveloped in it. She'd always seen it as a physical manifestation, and more times than she could recall she'd actually taken it's form.

"When you slip so deep into your subconscious, I am capable of touching you." The voice told her.

Sai felt herself smile. She should have known the voice would know exactly what was going on in her head. After all, they did share the same space.

"Iza?" She said softly, reclining herself once again and crossing her arms back behind her head.

"Yes, Sai?" The voice returned to her with a fondness, a gentleness hidden under the normally malicious sound. It was almost as if the voice had purred her name.

She smiled, closing her eyes. She hesitated for just a few moments, her mind drawing a complete blank. "Is it weird that I'm talking to myself?"

"Be serious for once in your life." The voice growled a warning, and Sai laughed at the menacing sound.

"Sorry. What I really meant to ask was...Why can't I talk to you when I'm awake?"

The voice simply replied with the sound of a gentle purr, at first. Something odd, considering the circumstances. "The cuffs that bind you. Two more remain. So long as they imprison you, we cannot communicate in your conscious state. I am not able to supply you with the energy you would need to destroy them."

Sai felt the motion of another breathless sigh, and she let her head hang. "I figured as much."


It had been nearly twenty-four hours since the band of oddly matched allies had entered the Makai. They had stomped through one useless stronghold. Surprisingly enough, it was an easy task. Something that was far too simple and convenient. The demons that inhabited the stronghold were...weak. Or was it simply just that they were far stronger?

Yusuke hadn't been satisfied until they'd beaten down every demon. Not even one of them had been able to stand up to him, let alone his three travel buddies. The only one left was the poor creature the detective held by a fist full of hair. Kurama had insisted they interrogate at least one of them.

"Start talking!" Yusuke barked, slamming his fist into the side of the demon's head. It jerked, but was met with a forceful halt thanks to the hand in it's hair. Some of the strands ripped free of it's scalp and dangled between the detective's fingers.

"I-I'll tell you anything you want to know! J-just please! P-p-p-please stop hitting me!" The demon shrieked, his expression washed in terror.

Pathetic.

"Now that's a good little demon. Where's Sai?" Yusuke couldn't help the feel of minuscule triumph, and bitter disappointment. He'd been hoping to at least get in a few more good punches before the demon started to squeal. What kind of sissies were running this place, anyway? They shouldn't have been able to capture someone with the strength Koenma had claimed Sai possessed.

"S-s-s-s...Sssssai?" The demon stuttered, taking on an expression of complete and utter disbelief mixed into his horror. Bingo.

"Yeah, you heard me. Talk!" Yusuke brought his fist up again.

The demon shrieked, jerking his hands up to shield his face. "I can tell you anything but that! The Master will kill me!"

There was a chilling sound of humorless laughter that lasted but a moment, and it certainly hadn't come from Yusuke. The detective glanced over his shoulder, seeming just as startled by the sound as his cooperative hostage.

"You're a fool to think we wouldn't kill you ourselves if you don't give us the information we want."

It was Hiei. Having just turned the corner of the hallway followed by both the red headed fox and the larger human oaf.

The demon paled, his blue skin taking on a green appearance as if he were about to be sick. He stared at the additional faces, his jaws working like a gaping fish out of water.

"Well, you heard the man. Tell us and maybe survive, or don't tell us and die." Yusuke spoke, turning his attention back to the demon. The detective even gave he demon a shake, startling the ugly thing out of it's daze.

The demon's eyes darted between Yusuke and the others, his mouth gaping open.

"Last chance." The detective warned, raising his fist up.

The demon shrieked again, covering his face with his hands.

"Ok, ok! This place is just a decoy, the real fortress is 16 kilometers North, North West. You'll find the Plateau of the Beheaded. It's inside of the Plateau. Roughly 8 kilometers to the East of the Plateau, you'll find something that looks like an ordinary burrow. A hole in the ground. Yes? It'll lead you straight to the Fortress. She's in their with Master, that's all I know. Honest." The demon peeked through his fingers, up at the Detective.

"Who is this Master you all speak of? What does he plan to do?" The fox spoke from behind Yusuke, and the detective glared at the demon.

"You heard the man. Talk!" He shouted, giving the demon a rough shake.

"Master's name is Raijin! I don't know what he wants with the girl! Only Mistress knows of what Master wants with the prisoner."

"There's a Mistress now?" Yusuke found himself grumbling, using his free hand to rub across his face.

"Yes, yes. Mistress. She is Master's favorite, his right hand. She does anything Master asks. Will you please let me go now? I don't know anything else." The demon sputtered, looking with a desperation up at Yusuke.

Yusuke turned his attention over to his comrades with a quirked brow. There was an uneasy tension in Kurama's expression. As if something the demon had said didn't settle right with him. Although, Yusuke wouldn't have been able to determinate what it was.

Of course the fox would step forward. "What do we need to expect at this fortress?"

The demon looked at him, trembling under the cold expression he was greeted with. "M-most of the demons remain here. The Fortress is for the higher command, stronger than us. Much stronger than us. We're only allowed to the fortress when summoned, and we're never allowed to explore. I don't know how many are there."

Yusuke turned his attention back to the red head, who contemplated this information. After some time, the fox gave a dismissive wave of his hand. The detective's grip slacked on it's hold, and the demon fell with a thud to the ground.

Immediately, the demon crab walked backward. Stumbling to his feet and scampering down the hallway.

"We can't allow him to inform any of his allies about the information he just gave us." Yusuke heard Kurama speak.

"Yeah, yeah. I know." He replied, lifting a single finger to point in the direction the demon ran. Gathering up an all too familiar blue glow of energy in the tip of his index finger.


Sai awoke to the sound of rattling chains and a particularly odd smell. Something that made her nose turn up in disgust with the gurgling sound of a groan that got caught within her throat. Was there someone talking? She couldn't tell, her mind hadn't caught up with her sensory functions.

How long had she been unconscious for?

She felt a crushing sense of loss at her conscious state, unable to reach out to voice that had been comforting her. She'd been so accustomed to being able to speak with the entity whenever she pleased. This was maddening. Not to mention the pain.

She felt something touch her shoulder, rolling her to lay back flat again.

Wait...Wait, no! Someone was moving her. No, no, no! She would not let herself be bound again! Red completely overtook her vision and her body reacted of it's own accord, fingers quickly curling into a tight fist as she lurched upward. Her fist connected with something. The results yielding a rather hallow sound, accompanied with the sound of pain and the shuffling of feet.

Good. Whoever it was deserved to be in pain! Especially after the suffering she'd been forced through.

Before the red faded, there was a hand that wrapped tightly around her neck. Her assailant slamming her down into the table without a fraction of pity. Her head cracked against stone, and her hands flew up to sink her claws into the arm that held her. When the red blocking her vision subsided, she was left staring up at a face she wasn't familiar with. His expression was just as hostile as her own, glaring down at her with an intense furiosity.

She wasn't afraid of him. Not in the slightest, even if reason said she should have been afraid. So what if he might kill her? It'd certainly be preferable to the intolerable pain crippling even the basic of her senses. Even now she could barely register his touch as the small burst of adrenalin faded away. She hated him, just as much as she hated the others in this prison. Not that she had seen but only two other faces.

"Let her go. We couldn't have expected her to react any differently to the situation." Said a voice that sounded pained, and even as if it were attempting to mask it's irritation. It hadn't come from the man standing over her, and his grip around her throat only proved to tighten at the request of what Sai could only assume was from his ally.

She bared her teeth in a silent snarl towards the man, tightening her own grip to match his own. At least, she thought she matched his grip. In truth, her body still hadn't regained it's strength. Her wounds hadn't healed, and her energy was still out of reach. Her pain hadn't ebbed at all, and it was increasingly difficult to focus her mind when combined with the denial of oxygen. She would be back to her blissful unconsciousness, if he didn't let her go soon.

There was a hand that clapped down onto the shoulder of the man, twisting his attention to someone behind him. From her poor perspective, she couldn't make out just who it was, however she did recognize the voice that spoke. The same one that had spoken before, and this time it spoke without the pain. One simple word that was laced with an eerie calm, and an underlying warning in addition. "Hiei."

The man that stood over her turned his attention back down to her from the corner of his eye. Slowly, his fingers uncurled from around her throat. They hovered there, with her claws still embedded into his arm. "Let go." He said to her, his voice was low and dark. Something that promised misery if she didn't comply with his demand.

Her expression twisted, sucking in a wonderfully painful breath of air. When did she ever comply with her enemies? She was already miserable, nothing he did would make it any worse! Even still, she refused to let him go. She should remove his arm. It would have been easy, wouldn't it? It should have been easy, if she had her usual strength.

"Lighten up, girlie. We're here to help, if you let go of our friend there." Another voice assaulted her ears, causing her attention to jerk to her opposite side.

She was greeted with an uncharacteristic grin. Not sadistic or menacing at all. In fact, it looked...friendly. It shocked her, and the reaction had caused her to loosen her grip around her assailant's arm.

He had taken the opportunity to jerk out of her grasp completely, and she sent him a withering glare. One which he returned without hesitation.

"That's the spirit!" Spoke the grinning man.

She jerked forward with a pained gasp, clutching at her chest when a hand firmly smacked right in between her shoulder blades. The motion had caused that pain to resurface in full, and she completely lost her breath. Blood sputtered from between her lips as she choked, claws carelessly tearing into the fabric she'd been covered with. She even tore into her own flesh, hoping that a physical pain might drown out the spiritual one.

That idiot had hit her right behind the epicenter of her pain, where that ghostly woman had ripped out the fragments of her soul.

"Hey, I didn't mean to-"

"Shut up!" She hissed, grinding her teeth together as she glared at him. Finally, she could breathe! He immediately jerked his hands up to either side of his head, palms facing in her direction in a typical fashion of I surrender. He even offered her a sympathetic grin.

It was odd for her to see such an action in this pace. Something of pure innocence, something without malicious intent. That was the second time that he had caught her of guard. She stared at him, struggling to even out her panted breaths. She'd noted the odd combination of his almost care free attitude next to his appearance. He looked young, if not a bit worse for wear. Greased back hair, and milk chocolate eyes.

"Don't mean to rush the welcome party, guys, but you better hurry it up! I can feel something coming, and it gives me the heebie-geebies!" Another voice?

Sai's attention jerked in it's direction, and she had to squint through the darkness to see him. Much taller than the others she'd seen, and he was standing at the door. Peeking out through a tiny crack he'd made in it.

"Relax, Kuwabara. This place is empty." The man prone to grinning spoke with his attention directed at the man standing at the door.

"There's...two others here." She managed to wheeze out, pain laced in each carefully pronounced word. If they were here to help, she could at least be cooperative. Even if they tried to take her hostage after getting her out of this place, she'd at least have access to her energy again. They'd regret it, if they decided to turn against her. At this point, she'd welcome any potential allies.

The rustling of chains brought her attention down to her ankles. It was then that she noticed that one of her ankles had already been freed. When had that happened? And why was she now hyperly aware of the unnaturally smoldering temperature surrounding where the shackle had once been? She studied her ankle, noticing the way skin peeled away from the muscle in more than a few choice places. It was dotted with tiny wounds, speckled like a pretty Dalmatian.

That smell hit her nose again, and she couldn't help but cover it up with a hand and a grunted sound to vocalize her disgust. Her attention jerked to her other ankle. It was that man with the red eyes, the one that had grabbed her throat. He was positioned at the far end of the table, his hands working deftly at the heavy weight of the shackle. She noted with a morbid curiosity how the metal sagged and curled away from his fingers. Tidbits of red hot steel popped and fizzled, landing painfully on her skin. Thanks to their heat, the little bubbles cauterized the small wounds before they'd ever had a chance to start bleeding.

So that was why her other ankle looked the way it did, not to mention the way that it felt. Oh fuck, and that smell. It was her damn burning flesh, no wonder she wanted to choke.

It didn't stop her from watching the man like a tiger. Ready to pounce at the first sign of anything she might have seen as treacherous. It certainly didn't help his case with the given fact she already wanted to strangle him. An eye for an eye.

"Leaves the whole world blind." Sai heard the voice purr in the back of her mind when the shackle fell away with a clatter. Deep, dark, ominous and familiar.

She sighed pleasantly, despite the throbbing pain left behind by molten metal. She yanked her ankles up towards her hands, plucking away the tiny beads of metal with claws she used a lot like tweezers.

Along with the familiar caress of Iza's thoughts in the darkest shadows of her mind, she felt the refreshing waves of her energy crash back into her. She flexed her fingers in front of her, noting how the spiritual pain seemed to have disappeared all together. She couldn't help but wonder how.

"I can take away your pain here, now." Her mental companion spoke to her with a purr. Keeping her voice soft and low, and Sai wrapped her arms around her chest.

"Why would you do that?" She found herself thinking in response. Her lips twisted into a deep scowl, brows furrowing. She recalled how the entity had informed her it resulted in additional pain to itself.

"You will need to focus your strength on escape. We cannot simply offer trust to these men so easily." The voice returned in a low hum, and Sai's eyes fluttered closed. It wasn't as if she'd forgotten about her company, she'd simply...gotten lost for a few short moments in her small reunion with her darker half.

That didn't stop the man with greased up hair from roughly shaking her shoulder.

Mentally, she heard Iza growl maliciously at the touch. Sai couldn't help but follow suit, the sound of a rattlesnake growl leaping on instinct from her throat. She shot a vicious glare towards the man. "Don't. Do that." She strained out between her teeth.

Unlike the first time, the man didn't immediately recoil. He kept his hand clamped firmly on her shoulder. Sai found herself looking at that hand with ample venom, as if it contained the plague.

"Sorry to burst whatever little bubble you're in, but we can't just sit around here." He said to her.

Sai hissed lowly, yanking her shoulder away from him with a furiousness. She turned to throw her legs over the opposite side of the table. Coming face to chest with yet another obstacle in her path. She bristled, slowly turning her attention upward. Four. In total, she was granted with the unwanted company of four different faces. The one she looked up to now was far more effeminate than any of the others. With long, red head and startlingly green eyes. Eyes that were guarded, cautious and calculating.

"Are you capable of standing?" He's said to her, the calm that lingered in his voice seemed far too strained.

Her anger flared. He hadn't asked her about walking, he'd asked her about standing. As if she couldn't! How dare he, clearly he didn't know who he was talking to.

Certainly, one day her pride would be the end of her. She pushed off on trembling hands without so much as a sound. The red head in front of her talking a step backward to allow some illusion of space between them. In actuality, she felt as if he was suffocating her with his mere presence.

Her knees buckled under her own weight as soon as her feet hit the ground, but thankfully she'd had enough rationality to have kept a grasp on the table. Her forearm hit the hard surface, just at the green eyed man's arm shot out to grab her bicep.

She sucked in a breath, she didn't need his help! Not in something as insignificant as fucking standing on her own two feet. She wasn't some weakling to be coddled. She jerked away from him, and she saw the flash of irritation dance across his eyes.

"Uh, guys? We got company." She heard the voice come from the direction of the door, and her attention followed the sound.

Of course. She was never so fortunate, after all. Bad luck followed her like a lost puppy.


A/N: I can't help but feel like there's something missing out of this chapter. I've rewritten the scene following where Sai and Iza are talking to one another into at least a dozen different scenarios. The one that resulted in this chapter occurred the last few times, and I spent hours staring at it and tweaking it into what it is now. Still, I can't help but feel that there's something missing. It's driving me absolutely bonkers.

If any of you guess and put your finger one what you think would make this chapter better, please don't hesitate to let me know!

I've also added a pole to my profile inquiring about preferred perspective when reading the story. I've noticed it's a little difficult in some situations to determine Sai's perspective from other female characters. Even though it's written in third person, it is still from Sai's point of view. I'm debating on whether or not I should change this story to a first person POV. Every vote will count towards helping me decide which I end up choosing.

I'd like to give a shout out to pourquoibella and SpartanFred! Thank you guys for your wonderful and friendly comments.