Disclaimer: Don't own FFVII and if i did, Reno and Cloud would fuck every chance they got
Disclaimer: Don't own FFVII and if i did, Reno and Cloud would fuck every chance they got.
Warnings: Excessive swearing, Mpreg, Graphical Sex, fluff, overdose of OOC
You've been warned.
Author's Note: Fuck.
I get my best damn ideas at 1:56 AM but then I'm too damn tired to type up anything. Not to mention I got work, aw hell no. Fuck you Karma, fuuuuck youuuu! Man, my eyeballs are freaking hurting and you know why I can tell you this shit? Cause I put this rant under 'Author's Note.' I'm the Author and obviously this is my fucking note… speech… er… rant. Same thing.
Whatever!!
And just curious how many people actually read this shit? I mean, I know I'm one of those assholes who skips the warnings, author's note and yadda, yadda, yah, jumble of words up top and goes straight to the story… but what the hell are the point of these things!? I swear I can say that I'm plotting some world conquering attack and list out my plans and no one would ever notice.
Hey… that's not a bad idea.
TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION. Insert Maniacal Laughter Here
Yeah, I bet you bastard's heard that, only cause it was all in caps.
Right, so maybe I should start talking about the story right? I think I might make it a habit to post a new Chapter ever 25th of the month and perhaps if I FEEL like it the 10th too. Maybe. Naw. We'll stick with the 25th unless I get beat by a fucking inspiration stick… knowing me, you might as well beat me with the entire fucking tree.
Kay, so I said something about the Story, now onto those who showered me with praises, comments and reviews.
I LOVE YOU ALL, BECOME MY CONCUBINES!!
I need to thank you ALL for commenting/review/worshiping/praising and providing the ego swelling sensation you inflated in me.
And now I'm obsessed with the song 'Prelude 12/21' by AFI… surprisingly, that's the ONLY song I like by them, everything else makes my ears bleed. Those who don't like the band should listen to THAT song, its addicting D8 and not to mention I was on youtube and managed to find a Axel Tribute to that song… it made me more happy than Roxas getting knocked up.
Kay, I'm done naoz!!
3 Enbi
Concubine spaces are limited
And Enbi's not really that much of an asshole, she just like using excess cusswords is all.
Summary: "Ever wonder how low I could go? Me, the EMR weldin' redheaded, bad mouthed, drunken', foul tempered, firecracker of a Turk? Well Pretty damn low." This is what happens when Jenova cells and Mako mess with you... well, your body.
(V) IMPORTANT SHIT YOU SHOULD READ BELOW. (V)
" Italics are used for flash back references, yo."
A C H O C O B O & A T U R K
C H A P T E R : T W O
T H E R A M B U N C T I O U S V I L L A N & T H E S O C I A L A L L Y R E T A R D E D H E R O
(( It honestly took me like 10 minutes to do the titles…))
Right. Strife never hated me. I should be damn happy about that little piece of information, right? I should be screaming in over-fucking-whelming joy and embrace my savior for ruining my attempt to off myself and the kid.
Fuck no.
"What do ya mean, 'I never hated you Reno?!' You're a load of bullshit, Strife!" Amazing how I managed to literally growl that out between clenched teeth and muster enough strength to turn around and push the bastard away. But seeing as how I'm losing fucking feeling in one arm I was more than pissed off when I merely knocked the blonde shit off balance a little. One of his hands was placed on the ground, keeping him from falling over while the other simple remained on his knee.
He looked confused. Those mako blue eyes stared at me in question and I was forced to look away. "Reno?"
Well lemme enlighten him a bit. Reno style.
"Ya don't fucking tell people they're a mistake and that they ruined yer fucking perfect life! Then while that certain person is runnin' for their own damn miserable life, WHILE five month pregnant and finally decides to just give it up, Mr. Fuckin' Hero comes in to saves the day and then declare that he doesn't fuckin' hate that person's guts! That's not how it fuckin' works, yo!" I spat out, trying my best to glare at the blonde bastard.
I had a damn right to be pissed, some blonde shit basically told you that you were lower than scum, was mortified by the fucking fact that he slept with me and claimed I ruined his oh-so-fucking wonderful life.
I know I ruin a lot of people's lives, but at least they don't fucking tell me straight out to my face and spare me the troublesome task of going through a fucking guilt trip, least I can fucking pretend everyone in the world but a handful of people don't hate me.
"Reno-"
"Don't fuckin' 'Reno' me. Give me back my switchblade and lemme carve my insides outs." I hissed out, and if the moment wasn't so damn crucial and serious I would've laughed my happy ass off at Strife's expression.
He looked mortified.
Looked so damn scared at the fact that I had my hand stuck out to him and demanded the switchblade back, I must be a fucking sadist to be enjoying this moment so damn much.
The fucking Ex Soldier looked like he fucking saw Sephiroth again, that's how mortified I'm freaking talking about and I must've looked pretty damn serious to cause him to grasp onto the damn blade even tighter.
"R-Reno-"
"I said don't fuckin' 'Reno' me, it's not ganna work Strife. I'm not going to Nibelheim until things calm down, do ya honestly think that hiding's going to stop anything." And then realization dawned on me. This, whatever the fuck was our problem wasn't going to fucking stop.
Great, now I'm not so fucking furious anymore, quite the fucking opposite.
"It doesn't work like that either Strife…" I mumbled. "Either I die here or on some examination table. That's… how I think it works."
I was pregnant… people either wanted me or the baby as lab rats or dead. Personally, I didn't fancy either fucking choices, but then again, what much choice did a fucking male pregnant Ex Turk have?
"You could… come to Nibelheim." Cloud insisted. "That could work."
I felt my lips quivering and chuckled to myself.
Here I was, torn between wanting to be fucking saved and wanting to just die right fuckin' here and now. I was bringing Strife down with me if I wanted to live and not to mention the baby. I'm in no position to be a parent…
I'm the worst fucking role-model in the world.
It's going to be one fucked up kid if me n' Cloud raised him or her… Then again, maybe Strife would do a good job. Denzel and Marlene turned out okay… but then again Tifa helped with the kids and Barret was one hell of a devoted father.
I was positive, so fuckin' positive that I couldn't raise a kid by myself. Strife could be doing this out of pity, some guilty conscious of his and once I was safe and the baby was too…
If Strife left after the kid was born…
Hell, I was fucking screwed and the thought of sending the kid to the Midgar Orphanage sent shivers down my spine. Why fucking else do you think the Orphan's would rather roam the streets instead of that place?
I think leaving the baby by a gutter had more chance of survival instead of that place. But do I honestly want to send another kid into the streets? Or did I honestly want to make another one of myself?
A kid born from gutter trash and a Hero, a perfect combination I thought with heavy sarcasm.
And then there was this uncomfortable silence between me and Strife, until the said blonde shit broke it.
"Reno." I cocked my head in Strife's general direction at the mention of my name, a little too fucking eager for my own damn good now that I calmed the fuck down a little.
Now that I was done ranting about how much of an ass he was for saying all that shit he did, it was my fucking turn I guess.
"Sorry…I was… scared and frustrated at the time. I didn't mean much of it." Cloud had murmured, his gaze settled away from me, the switchblade now securely in both of his hands. "I'm sorry." He stated again, slightly louder and I felt every ounce of fucking anger and harsh words that were left in me meld into some form of regret.
I closed my eyes and smiled to myself, letting out a sigh of frustration. Fucking bloody hell, everything has to come around and bite me in the ass in the end…
In the recesses of my fucking mind, I knew Strife didn't hate me. Otherwise, I would have the Bustier Sword shoved through me if he did.
I guess I was just lashing out at the blonde shit. All those fucking weeks of hiding out and avoided my Ex Turk members, Doctor Syne and all in all, fucking people caused me to bottle up a lot of shit and I wanted someone to fucking blame other than myself. But still, he said shit that hurt, so it was his own fucking fault for making himself a perfect target.
And the best part about all this shit?
Is that no matter how much I thought I wanted to hate Strife and be fucking angry with him so I could just kill myself, I couldn't.
G'damn logical thinking, always getting in the way of the things I wanted.
"Yeah. I know." In the end I guess I forgave the Chocobo shit, just a bit, for now. I suppose I wasn't in the best mind at the time either, c'mon, a fucking kid growing in me isn't exactly fucking good news. How the hell else was anyone suppose to react to that shit?!
Jeez. It was always Strife who foiled my fucking ingenious plans… looks like he succeeded yet again.
"Me too, yo, I'm sor-Oi! What the fuck do you think you're doing!?" I yelled, after finding a warm hand on my stomach that sure as hell wasn't mine. When I looked up to glare at the bastard that was invading my personally space, and yes, I did have a fucking personal space, I met mako blue staring intently at my abdomen.
"Five months…" Cloud mumbled, his brows furrowed in concentration, before turning his gaze up to mine, slight worry and curiosity etching across his face and I couldn't help but think it was rather 'cute.' Who would've guessed, Cloud Strife having a 'cute moment.'
"Why aren't you fat?"
Fuck Dark Bahamut.
I take that shit back. Cloud wasn't fucking 'cute' he was a fucking 'asshole.' It was like talking to a fucking CHILD.
"Cause you dipshit, the baby isn't the size of a fucking ruler yet and I'm a guy, I got muscle and shit like that." I snapped, slapping his hand away. Who knew that I would learn something while stuck with Dr. Syne?
Still, I couldn't help a smirk tug at my lips. Who knew, with the way Strife was acting, maybe the blonde shit was coming on to me, eh?
"So why all the fucking attention Strife, not like I don't like it." I asked, raising a brow nonchalantly. "Why go through all this shit to get me to Nibelheim?"
For a moment, Strife just stared at me before slowly nodding his head to the side. I thought I wasn't going to get and answer and opened my mouth to spout out more shit. "Because…" I felt something bubble in the pit of my gut, sometime akin to fucking hope, exactly fucking hope for what, I wasn't exactly freaking sure. "I helped conceive that child, I have to take responsibility. I think… Nibelheim is a good hide out until after the child is born. Then maybe… Aerith's mother, Elmyra can help you raise the kid or you can entrust the child with her."
I dunno what fucking answer I wanted, but I guess this wasn't fucking it.
I snorted and swallowed back a lump in my throat, it felt like I was getting thrown out of Cloud's fucking room again after a night of unremembered sex. "Yeah." I said, trying to keep that stupid grin on my face instead of beating that stupid shit an inch from his life.
"Ya'know what Strife?"
Cloud raised his own brow at me in question now, and I chuckled at his antics trying to fend that sob that wanted to rip out of my throat.
"I think I understand Tifa real well now." I said.
Unrequited love was a bitch.
EEE HEE HEE.
Poor Reno. Don't worry! Just cause Cloud doesn't love you doesn't mean I don't!! Nor your other millions of fans that would gladly rip out that blonde's scrotum and shove it up his ass!!
One minute Reno furious, the next he's content and now he's heart broken. Will the mood swings ever cease?! Course not, he's five month preggors. NEXT: the constant eating and cravings. Then the next morning would be morning sickness. Awesome beans I have in store for our lovable redhead, no?
You know the drill peeps.
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