Chapter 3

"Dad...got a new job?" Mallory asked, calming immediately. She had always wanted more money, with which she might be able to imitate Stacey's great fashion sense. "That's pretty dibble..."

Vanessa was also interested. "What does he do now, mother? Is this job better than the other?"

Mrs. Pike smiled. "Yes, dearest. It is much better. Do you remember that famous circus that came to town a few weeks back?" Mal and her sister nodded vigorously. "Well...they've hired your father...as the new lion tamer!"

Vanessa jumped for joy. "Oh boy! Maybe he'll get me a new toy!"

Mallory was a little less enthusiastic. "A lion tamer? What'll I tell the kids at school? This is so stale! All the boys in gym class will make fun of me! Except for Ben, my sort of boyfriend."

Dee looked surprised. "Mallory...you have a boyfriend?"

"Only a sort of one. Once, we got kicked out of the library for talking. It was so distant," Mallory told her mother, a smug expression on her freckled face.

"Back to the original issue," Vanessa said. "Is lion taming in his tissue?"

"His tissue?" Dee asked, confused. "What do you mean?"

"She means, his human tissue. Is lion taming in his blood?" Mallory inquired, pushing her glasses up her nose.

"Well, not exactly. But you know how your father has always been violent. I think he wanted the whip more than anything," Dee explained.

"Wow," Mal said, blinking profoundly. "Who knew Dad has such a side to him?" Her face clouded over with thought. "But even so...I really hope he brings the whip home with him sometime, so I can see it...maybe he'd even let me use it on Vanessa!"

"Don't even think about it young lady," Dee said sternly. "No one in this family will be going anywhere near that whip."

"Except for father of course," Vanessa chimed in. "Will he use it on Mal's horse?"

"What are you talking about?" Dee asked once again. "We're much too poor to afford a horse!"

"Not for long," Mal amended, rubbing her hands together with feeling. Maybe her dad's new job could work to her advantage...

--

The next morning, Stacey woke up early so that she could get to the hospital ASAP to see Luca. She wanted to look her best (even if Luca couldn't actually see it), so her outfit was absolutely smashing: an extra poofy flamenco dress with a tight black vest enhancing her spectacular figure. She had tucked a blood-red rose behind one of her ears, and it looked lovely nestled in her freshly-permed hair. Within all this ethnic attire, Stacey had decided to implement a little taste of NYC by wearing her favorite pair of lime green push-down socks on her feet and hot pink high-tops.

In order to look all sexy and wind-blown for Luca, Stacey decided to jog to the hospital, picking up Claudia along the way. She started running down her street, but had the feeling that someone might be following her. Turning around quickly, Stacey caught a glimpse of orange hair and plastic glasses.

"Not the Pike kid again," Stacey muttered to herself. "Mallory! Leave me the fuff alone!"

A red-faced Mallory came out from behind a bush and ran up to Stacey. "Please, I just want to see Luca again!"

"How do you even know where I'm going?" Stacey asked accusingly.

"I wired our telephone to intercept your calls. I heard you telling Claudia about going to visit Luca in the hospital and I...I just wanted to come along! You have to help me become sophisticated!" Mallory begged.

"Look, kid, I tried. You are just a desperate wannabe. And there's nothing I can do about it,"Stacey sprinted away, leaving Mallory in the dust of her pink high tops.

Mallory sadly turned around and started walking to Ben Hobart's house, her head down the whole time.

--

"Luca baby? You awake yet?" Stacey inquired upon entering the room.

"Yes, yes I am," Luca's beautiful accent drifted over, weak and fleeting.

"How are you feeling?" Stacey asked, sitting on his bed and stroking his hair. "Last time I came in here you weren't even awake."

"Oh, well, I'm feeling much better now. Especially after you kissed me."

"I...what?" Stacey asked her third question in a row.

"You know. I remember someone kissing me. They were really good at it, so it must have been you."

"Oh, God," Stacey said profanely. "Luca, that wasn't me who kissed you last night...it was my friend, Mallory."

"Wait...isn't she the ugly lesbian one?"

"Yes."

"Then why would she kiss like a goddess? I felt like I was back in Switzerland for a moment, with pretty girls wherever I turned."

"Oh, well I'm sooo sorry that I can''t kiss as well as Mallory the Goddess. Geez, why not just dump me and go after her? You're obviously all over her now."

"Stacey, Stacey, calm down," Luca cooed, stroking his love's perm. "You know that I love you more than any other girl in the world."

Stacey took a deep breath. "Even though I'm a diabetic?"

"Yes...that doesn't matter to me."

Stacey smiled. Luca was such a perfect boyfriend.

Suddenly, Claudia entered the room, carrying a package of Mallomars and cheese doodles. "Hey guys, I brought us a feast!"

"Claudia, you biatch! You know that I cant eat this stuff! I thought you were my best friend!" Stacey promptly started to sob into Luca's hairy arm.

"I'm so sorry, Stace! I totally forgot! I'll get you an apple!" Claudia ran out of the room, leaving a trail of Mallomars behind.

"Are you really upset?"Luca asked, tilting Stacey's head up.

"No...I just wanted her to leave so I could do this." Stacey quickly met Luca's lips with hers in a passionate make- out.

Luca wound his fingers in Stacey's thick blonde hair. The excitement of the lip-lock was too much. It was getting hard to breath, but still he continued to kiss Stacey intensely. A low groan escaped his throat, raspy and erotic. "Ohh...Mallory...Mallory!"

Stacey quickly pulled away and glared at Luca. "Mallory?"

Luca looked panicked. "Uh, no, I didn't mean-"

"So. This is what its come down to. You're choosing that redheaded, lesbian freak over me. Well, fine! See if I care!" Stacey ripped the rose from her hair, threw it at Luca's eye, and scurried from the room as fast as her high tops could take her.

--

Mallory rang Ben's doorbell, eager to fall into his soft, Australian embrace. He was the perfect sort-of boyfriend. Always there to fix her glasses when they broke, fish food out of her braces, and find the whole Saddle Club series for sale on Amazon.

"Mallory? What are you doing here?" Ben asked, opening the door. He squinted through his thick lenses.

"I just...I wanted to talk,"Mallory admitted, straightening her brand new bowtie. She tightened her suspenders and looked expectantly at Ben.

Ben waggled his eyebrows suggestively and motioned for her to follow him inside. "Ah. Talk. Well, ok, let's go to my room."

Mallory gulped. If her mother knew she was going into a boys room, especially her sort-of boyfriend's, she would throw a fit. I'm eleven years old. I can do this! she thought to herself, licking her lips. She couldn't help but wish she was following Jessi upstairs to her room.

Ben opened the door. "Have a seat."

Mallory started to position herself on the floor.

"Um, no. I meant over here... with me... on the bed," Ben told her, patting the seat next to him.

Mallory gently positioned her shelf butt on the Power Rangers bedspread and looked into Ben's warm, brown eyes. But before she could mutter a word, Ben started to speak.

"Mallory...have you ever kissed anyone before?"Ben asked, starting to sweat.

"Actually,"Mallory started, sitting up triumphantly. "Yes. Two someones. A girl and a boy."

Ben clearly looked intimidated by Mallory's experience, and the red-head noted this fact with pride, as though she were handing in a particularly impressive resume for her dream job.

"Oh," said Ben. "Uh, well...how was it?"

"Which one?" Mal replied, basking in her glory.

Ben looked troubled. Inside, it hurt him to ask his love about her "experience," but he still was desperate to hear about it. "Mallory," he sighed suddenly, after a pause. "I'm not sure if I can keep being your sort-of boyfriend. You're too advanced for me. How will I ever measure up to the pleasure that your past two lovers has brought you? The only person who I've ever frenched is my pet hampster."

"You...what?" asked Mal, stricken. "Nevermind. And you should know that the two people I kissed were hardly my lovers. They were just flings. One-night stands. Well, actually they were more one-afternoon stands. I'm not allowed out past nine," she explained primly. Mallory knew she was laying it on thick--both Abby and Luca had been at least partly unconcious at the time she had kissed them--but she couldn't help it. Mal wanted so much to impress Ben. She had to.

But Ben did not seem in the mood to be impressed. He sighed again, this time much heavier. "I'm sorry, Mal. I'm just not ready to have as advanced a relationship as you desire. I'm just not good enough to be your sort-of boyfriend. Therefore, I am sort-of breaking up with you."

Mallory gasped with horror.