So hi guys here is another chapter :) Thank you for all of the reviews and everyone who has favorited and followed :) It means so much to me to know there are people out there who like my writing :)
Erik: Glad to see you are writing more about me...
Me: Well technically it is about you and Charlene...not just about you :)
Erik: But this chapter is from my POV so it's all about me :)
Me: Ok guys whilst I try to win this argument let's just say I own none of the characters from Phantom but I own Charlene as she is my own character :) Although sometimes I feel Erik owns me :/ Maybe some reviews will make him behave himself :) On with the show guys :D
Heartache and Pain: Loving Life
Chapter Two: Help Me Say Goodbye...
Erik's POV
The next morning a sombre mood hung in the air and everyone in the house was quiet. But no-one was quieter than my wife; she spent the morning picking at her food rather than eating it as well as staring out of the window with a faraway look in her eyes.
"I know something's on your mind darling. How would you like to visit the cemetery this morning?" I asked gently and she stopped what she was doing for a moment before nodding in assent.
"Why don't you get changed whilst I call Christine and Raoul to come round to look after the children? I'm sure they'd like to see Stefan again."
"Ok." She replied quietly and with that she left the room so I got hold of the phone to call Christine.
"Hi Christine its Erik. I know this is short notice but I was wondering if you could come round and keep an eye on the kids for a bit. Hmmm hmmm...ok see you in five minutes; I can't wait to see Stefan again. It's been ages since we last saw him. See you soon. Bye." And with that I hung up and waited for Christine to arrive and for Charlene to finish changing. I heard the doorbell rang and I immediately went to answer it knowing Christine and Stefan would be on the other side.
"Thank you for coming over. Charlene should be down soon and we'll make our way to the cemetery. How's life been treating you?" I asked curiously since I haven't seen Christine in a while since she's still on maternity leave and so hasn't been at work since Stefan was born.
"Life's been treating me good thanks. Stefan is growing up so fast though; he'll be turning five soon. I can't believe he'll be starting school soon; I just want him to stay my baby forever." She replied happily with a wistful sigh.
"That's what kids do; they grow up." I replied. But before I could continue my sentence any further I heard movement coming from behind me; I turned around to see Charlene standing in the doorway wearing a long black dress and scarf around her head.
"Christine it's good to see you."Charlene said quietly before looking down at the floor and I knew it was our time to make our leave.
"Once again Christine thanks for coming over at such short notice; I'll see you this evening." And with that I took hold of Charlene's hand gently and left out of the door as quietly as possible so we didn't wake the kids up. After clambering into the car I drove us to the cemetery where her family was buried; every so often I would look across to see Charlene staring forlornly out of the window. I guess due to her autism she is still finding it hard to deal with the death of her parents and also finds it hard to express her emotions even to those she can trust.
"Charlene darling, you know you can talk to me if you ever have anything on your mind don't you? We have arrived." After getting out of the car and locking it we went towards the small flower stall nearby to buy a single rose for each grave that resides in the cemetery. We made our way through the gate and I stayed back to give Charlene some time alone to grieve and to be with her thoughts. I watched as she knelt in front of their grave in silent mourning as she placed a rose gently on each of their graves. I then felt my heart stop for a moment when she started to sing; I never knew she could sing so well. I mean normally when she knows I am around she doesn't sing but I guess she just wanted to pay a fitting tribute to her family even though I was there. I then watched as she got up and turned around with tears pouring down her cheeks; I glided over to her and embraced her within my strong arms knowing what she needed right now was comfort.
"That was a wonderful tribute to your family; they will be weeping at the splendour of your voice and your tribute to them. Why didn't you tell me you could sing darling?" I questioned curiously as the tears started to lessen a little.
"I guess I didn't think I could sing that well; that's why I always hid it from everyone." She replied quietly.
"You are very talented and although I want to raise and nurture your voice to great heights; I know it isn't what you wanted so it will be our secret until the time is right." I explained and with that I led us out of the stillness of the cemetery towards the car that was parked nearby.
"Come let's go home to the children." I said gently and with that we drove in the direction of home. When we arrived home we were almost tackled to the ground by the children.
"Careful Christian, Christina, mummy is pregnant and you don't want to harm your baby brother or sister do you?" I asked seriously as I wrapped an arm around Charlene's shoulder.
"But we missed mummy; aren't we allowed to show her we missed her?" They asked simultaneously. I smiled at their thoughtful gesture knowing it would mean a lot to Charlene; especially during this difficult and emotional time for her. Sometimes at night she still has nightmares of the night she was kidnapped and raped by the boss; however I am always there to sing her back to sleep when she screams out my name. I just wished I could make the nightmares go away as I don't like seeing her in pain and reliving a painful time in her life. I then noticed out of the corner of my eye Charlene trying to suppress a yawn even though it was only early afternoon and so I said gently.
"You're tired; why don't you get some rest and I'll wake you up when we're making dinner?"
"But I'm not tired." She replied before another yawn escaped her lips.
"Nope you are going to take a nap because you are still tired." I explained as I pushed her gently in the direction of our room.
"OK I'll try to get some sleep darling." She said quietly and with that she went into the room and got changed before the sound of her rhythmic breathing could be heard. I quietly went downstairs to see Christine playing with the children and Stefan.
"Thanks again for looking after them; you are a good friend." I said sincerely.
"No problem Erik; that's what friends are for. How's Charlene handling life? She seemed...sad."
"She's sad because it is the anniversary of her families' death; she also still suffers from nightmares of that night at the hands of the boss. I can tell she is nervous about how the baby will turn out; I just hope she will understand one day that no matter how the child turns out I will always love them." I replied forlornly.
"I know you care about Charlene very much and I think Charlene knows that too; but pregnancy can make a woman feel lots of things at once which I guess she finds a little overwhelming due to her autism." Christine replied gently.
"You have a good point there. I guess I should wake Charlene and start making dinner."
"I better take my leave; I'm going out for dinner with Raoul and Stefan tonight."
"See you at work tomorrow." I said and with that Christine left out of the room with Stefan in tow. I then proceeded to the kitchen where I found a small pile of takeaway menus residing in a drawer and decided on ordering an Indian takeaway for dinner. Once I got off the phone I went upstairs to see Charlene thrashing about and getting tangled in the sheets whilst muttering incoherently under her breath. I quickly went over to her to calm her before she harmed the baby. I opened my mouth to sing a song she loved very much from my past called Music of the Night; the song made me think about my great, great, great grandfather who sang the song to Christine all those years ago. Soon enough her breathing evened and so I decided to let her sleep a little longer and wait until the food arrives before waking her up. About ten minutes or so later I heard a knock at the door and I answered it knowing it was the food arriving; I put down the bags and went upstairs again to wake Charlene. I placed a hand gently on her shoulder and rubbed it gently up and down for a moment.
"Charlene, dinner's on the table darling." I cooed gently as I continued my ministrations along her arm; soon enough her eyelashes fluttered open and she smiled a little as she looked up at me.
"Ok, I'll be down in a moment." She replied quietly and so I went downstairs to dish up the dinner whilst she got herself cleaned up. Soon enough she came through the door just as I placed the plates on the table. As we sat and ate in contemplative silence my thoughts kept drifting back to the moment I saw Charlene suffering from a nightmare; what was she dreaming about?
"Charlene darling; I noticed you were suffering from a nightmare earlier; do you want to talk about it darling?" I asked gently before putting a mouthful of food into my mouth.
"I don't know what you're talking about; I'm fine." She replied quietly as she continued to look down at her plate.
"You know you can talk to me about anything don't you darling? But it will make you feel better if you talk about it; it isn't a good idea to bottle up your problems." I said gently and with that I grasped her hand gently in mine whilst rubbing her knuckles gently with my thumb and forefinger.
"I was having the same nightmare I have had pretty much every night of the boss raping me; but in the nightmare he always wins and you are lying on the ground watching me getting married as you are slowly dying." She replied quietly as the tears began to fall.
"It's ok; he can't hurt you anymore and I will always be here to protect you no matter what." I said reassuringly and we continued to eat in silence until the food was finished.
"Why don't you put the kids to bed whilst I wash the dishes?" I asked gently. I took the dishes into the kitchen before proceeding to wash them and put them on the drainer. I smiled as I heard Charlene singing the children to sleep; as I listened to her singing I felt the need to compose. She has a lovely voice and although not at the same level as Christine's voice when my grandfather was still alive; it was still beautiful in its own unique way. Finally I heard her gentle footsteps coming down the stairs and I knew the children were finally asleep in bed.
"That didn't take you very long." I whispered as she came towards me.
"I guess my singing voice appears to cast a spell over them." She replied quietly as she hugged herself a little.
"I guess the twins take after their father in more ways than one." I whispered quietly.
"In what way exactly darling?" She asked curiously as she set herself down on the sofa.
"We are all captivated by your beautiful voice." I replied as I sat down beside her before embracing her from behind.
"You really think so?" She replied meekly as she leant into my embrace.
"Why are you having all of these feelings of self doubt today darling?" I asked curiously and I stroked her hair a little as I liked the way it felt through my fingers.
"I don't know; maybe it's the nerves showing through about what the baby will be like. Will she have my disability? Or will she be like the other two children who have no sign of the disability at all?" She asked and I replied reassuringly.
"Whether our child has a disability or not I will still love them and I'm sure they will be as beautiful and intelligent as their mother." And I kissed her gently on the head to show her my love for her and our future child before proceeding to carry her tired form up to our room. Before I even reached our room I heard her even breaths and so helped her out of her clothes into her chemise. I then proceeded to tuck her into bed before getting into my nightclothes and climbing in besides her hoping she will have good dreams tonight...
