Disclaimer
(Piccolo): "The following is a non-profit, fan-based parody. Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball GT and their respective franchises are the property of Funimation, Toei Animation, Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama. Break Through the Limit is the property of Captain Space. Please support the official and unofficial release."
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Chapter 3: Human Shield
Raditz launched himself at Piccolo with a scream of anger, swinging a fist at the demon. Piccolo casually jumped into the air, letting Raditz hurtle past under him, and then spun, kicking the Saiyan in the head. Raditz whirled, swinging another punch, but Piccolo simply held out a hand, blasting Raditz with an energy beam and knocking him backwards.
"Okay," Raditz snarled, skidding to a halt in midair. "That does it!" With a roar, he charged back at Piccolo. Unfortunately, his anger was making him sloppy, and all of his increasingly frustrated punches and kicks were missing. Piccolo casually walked backwards, dodging every blow, until he eventually got bored.
"Yeah, we're done here," he said casually, before darting around Raditz's next punch and slamming an elbow into the Saiyan's neck. He landed a powerful gut punch next, doubling Raditz over, and then kicked him into the air. Before Raditz could even fall to the ground, the demon punched him again, stopping his fall. They hovered in midair for a moment, and then Piccolo tossed Raditz to the ground, where he landed with a thud.
Raditz lay sprawled on the ground. He was silent for a moment; then he groaned, "Ow."
"Clang"
Raditz Owned Count: 3
Turning away from Raditz, Piccolo grinned as he saw the horrified expressions on Goku and Tien's faces. "Now, then. I've been waiting five years for a rematch with you, Goku, so this guy can wait until I'm done with you." He flared his aura, focusing his energy as he prepared to attack them…
Right up until Raditz leaped to his feet and tackled Piccolo from behind, with a yell of "STOP IGNORING ME!" He flipped the demon over his shoulder, then slammed a knee down on his back, driving him into the ground.
Grabbing Piccolo by the head with both hands, Raditz began smashing the demon's head repeatedly into the ground, punctuating each blow with a word. "Stop – ignoring – me!" he yelled.
On the third blow, Piccolo lashed out, knocking Raditz away and leaping to his feet. Raditz, undeterred, fired a barrage of energy beams at Piccolo.
"All right, you asked for it!" Piccolo snapped, jumping into the air and charging up a huge energy ball, before hurling it at Raditz.
"Oh, crap!" Raditz leaped into the air as fast as possible, letting the energy sphere fly underneath him and off into the distance.
"RIII-CO-LAAAAH!" A yodeler's cry rang out, just before the energy ball hit the mountain he was standing on and detonated, and his yodel became a terrified scream. "AAAAHHHH!"
"Whoa!" Raditz exclaimed, glancing over his shoulder at the size of the blast. "That was a close one–" At that precise moment, Piccolo appeared above him, hitting the long-haired Saiyan with a full-force punch and hurling him to the ground.
Piccolo smirked cruelly as he touched down in front of Raditz. "Nice try," he growled, "but you're finished now. This time I'm making sure you don't get back up again – Aagh!" Just as he'd lifted his foot to stomp down on Raditz's neck, something hit him squarely in the face, sending him staggering backwards.
"What the hell?" Piccolo muttered, looking up to see Goku standing protectively in front of Raditz.
"Leave my brother alone!" Goku said firmly, entering a fighting stance.
Raditz blinked in confusion, weakly lifting his head. "Kakarot… what are you doing? Why would you help me? You don't even know me!"
"Well, I may not know you that well, but you're still my brother." Goku grinned. "Besides, Piccolo's more dangerous than you right now."
"What?!" Raditz growled. He dares to insult me like that?! Then again, he is brain-damaged…
Piccolo chuckled. "Right. You're going to stop me? He's more than three times stronger than you, and I just kicked his ass. Do you really think you stand a chance against me?"
Goku shrugged. "Eh, don't really know. Let's find out!" He charged, completely fearless.
Piccolo sighed. Whatever; I was going to kill him anyway, so…
Just before Goku reached Piccolo, he lifted both hands to either side of his head. "SOLAR FLARE!" he yelled.
"Nice try!" Piccolo shot back, whirling away just before the flash of light could blind him – only to see Tien standing directly behind him, in the same pose.
"SOLAR FLARE!" Tien called out, this time blinding Piccolo with a flash of light.
"Gah!" Piccolo cried, reeling backwards and clutching at his eyes.
"Now!" Tien yelled, leaping to Goku's side. Both of them began to charge up their strongest attacks; Goku cupped his hands at his side, while Tien held up his hands in a triangular formation.
"KA…ME…HA…ME…" Goku chanted.
"TRI-BEAM…" Tien echoed.
"HAAA!" Their voices rang out simultaneously, as their most powerful attacks fired simultaneously, crashing into Piccolo and detonating on impact.
Raditz's eyes widened in shock. "How the hell did they do that?" he muttered, scrambling to his feet. "I swear to God, if they beat him when I couldn't…" He growled under his breath. "That's it! I'm through playing around! Kakarot, get out of the way! He's mine!"
Goku glanced back at him. "Oh, good, you're up. Could you maybe help us out here?" He was interrupted by Piccolo, who burst out of the dust cloud thrown up by their attacks.
"All right, that's enough!" the demon snarled. With two quick blows, he floored Goku and Tien, before turning his attention to Raditz. Charging up energy in both hands, he grinned. "This one should finish you… assuming you're not cowardly enough to pull a cheap shot and try to dodge, of course."
Raditz glared back at him. "Why would I need to? I'm a member of the most powerful species in the universe, and I've done quite a bit of damage to you by now; are you seriously still calling me weak?!"
"Why don't we find out?!" Piccolo yelled, firing his attack. The white energy beam shot towards Raditz at an incredible speed.
Raditz's eyes widened in alarm. "Uh-oh."
Unbeknownst to anyone, Tien shot in from the side, skidding to a halt in front of Raditz and raising his arms in a cross block to shield the Saiyan from the blast.
No choice! he thought grimly. I have to protect him, no matter the cost; he's the only one who can stop Piccolo!
Then Tien frowned. Wait… why didn't I just knock him out of the way? I mean, he'd actually have a much better chance if survival if I'd done that, since I don't know if I can even block this attack – OH, CRA-
The blast struck an instant later, creating a massive explosion. Goku stared at the fireball, horrified.
To everyone's surprise, however, when the smoke began to clear, Tien was still standing in front of Raditz, his arms raised to block the attack. However, he collapsed almost immediately. Raditz managed to catch him before he hit the ground.
"You know, this is kind of ironic," Tien wheezed. "I just sacrificed myself to save an alien who came here to wipe out my entire species." He blinked, coughing, and spat blood. "Let me rephrase that; it's extremely ironic."
"W…Why?" Raditz asked incredulously. "Why would you save me? Seriously; I'm not your friend, I'm an enemy of your entire race! Why in the hell would you sacrifice yourself to save my life?"
Tien smiled faintly. "Well, you're Goku's brother… so I figured you can't be all that evil, right?" He closed his eyes, and his body went limp.
"Tien, no!" Goku shouted in despair.
Raditz stared down at Tien in shock. "He's… he's gone, Kakarot." Setting down Tien's body, he rose to his feet and turned to face Piccolo and Goku. "I'm finishing this," he growled, his eyes locked on Piccolo's. "Right now."
Piccolo chuckled. "By all means, try."
With simultaneous yells, they leaped at each other and collided, pushing against each other with all of their strength. With all of the energy that Piccolo had expended, he and Raditz were fairly evenly matched, and neither of them could gain an advantage.
With a growl, Piccolo shoved forwards with all of his strength, slowly pushing back Raditz's hands. The Saiyan gasped in pain, struggling to hold him back.
Maybe I should just give up, Raditz thought. How can I beat him? For God's sake, Kakarot's done a better job of dealing with him than I have!
Then his eyes snapped open wide in disbelief. Wait a second… seriously? Kakarot? The brain-dead guy who isn't even a third of my strength is doing a better job of fighting this guy than I am?! Well, you know what? Screw that! SCREW! THAT!
"You know what, you bastard?!" Raditz roared, lashing out with all of his strength. "SCREW YOU!"
A massive explosion of force hurled Piccolo backwards, knocking the demon out cold. He hit the ground, tumbling to a halt, and lay there, motionless.
Raditz stared in shock at Piccolo's body. "I…" he whispered to himself. "I did it! I actually did it!" Laughing, he threw up a fist in triumph. "I ACTUALLY BEAT SOMEBODY! HELL, YES! Who's laughing now, you green son of a bitch?!"
Goku blinked. "Is that racist? I feel like that's racist."
His laughter fading, Raditz walked slowly over to Piccolo's body. He grinned tightly in pain, lifting a hand and beginning to gather energy. "Okay, now I'm finishing this. I'm not making the same mistake you did."
"Raditz, wait!" Goku interrupted him, grabbing his brother's shoulder.
Raditz looked back at him. "Wait, what? This guy just tried to kill all of us – he did kill your friend – and you want to let him live? Are you out of your–" He paused. "Oh, right. Brain damage. Anyway…"
"No!" Goku snapped. "Nobody else dies today. And you don't have much energy left, so I can beat you in a fight if I have to."
Raditz stood motionless for a long moment. Damn it, he's right, he conceded, lowering his hand. "Come on, Kakarot! He killed your friend! Doesn't that mean anything to you?!"
"Well, yeah, of course it does," Goku replied. "But we can always bring Tien back with the Dragon Balls."
Raditz frowned. "The… the dragon's what?"
"The Dragon Balls! You know; there are seven of them; they grant you any wish you want… like immortality? Or a lifetime supply of chocolate cake…" Goku smiled wistfully. "Mmmm… chocolate."
Raditz stared at his brother in disbelief. Oh, dear god…
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Meanwhile, far away…
"Vegeta, did you hear that?" the tall, bald Saiyan asked in surprise.
Vegeta smirked, looking up at Nappa. "Oh, yeah! We're totally going to Earth to get our wish!"
Nappa grinned, holding up a hand. "Yeah, we're gonna get chocolate!" He paused for a moment. "I mean, immortality! Immortality's what I meant; right, Vegeta?"
Vegeta sighed. "Just get in the damn pod."
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Meanwhile, back on Earth…
"You… you've got to be kidding me!" Raditz gasped. "You could have any wish? Any wish? Literally, anything in the entire universe? And the only thing you want to use these things for is to bring him back to life?!"
Goku shrugged. "Well, when you put it that way… yeah, that's about it."
Raditz's mouth hung open for a second, before he snapped out of it. "I swear to God, Kakarot, I have no idea what happened to you on this planet, but it's turned you into a complete and total–"
"Raditz?" a harsh voice suddenly called, coming from Raditz's scouter. "Raaa-ditz?"
Raditz's eyes widened for a moment; then he groaned under his breath. "Oh, for the love of God, not him again..."
The voice continued, "Guy who's as weak as a Saibaman says what?"
Raditz gritted his teeth. "God damn it, Nappa…"
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AN: And here we are again. Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! :)
Shoutouts to applefanfic, rsdk525, MrSquaad, ParisAndBra, ShadowLDrago, AvatarEddy and Ryu no Ohi for reviewing! You guys are awesome!
As always, I really appreciate feedback from my readers, so if anyone has a comment or question on this chapter or the story as a whole, please review! (No hate, please; that's not any fun for anyone).
See you next time!
Review Q&A:
Q: Fucking hilarious! And poor poor Raditz.. Always the face…
I like this story update like asap;)
A: Yeah, the "Raditz's face" thing is going to be a recurring thing for quite a while.
Q: ok I just came up with the disclaimer…
the following is a non profit fan-based parody. Dragonball, Dragonball Z, and Dragonball Gt are owned by funimation, toei animation, Fuji TV and Akria Toriyama while Break Through the Limit is owned by Captain space. Please support the official and unofficial Release.
Anyway getting hit in the same spot of the face…a clever strategy…wait a minute
A: Well, what I had already is very similar to that, but I did add the part about "the official and unofficial release", so thanks for the suggestion!
Q: Wow, if this is just the first 2 chapters, you my friend are off to a great start. Sure, I gave that other BTtL parody a negative review but well, it was needed. THIS though, is potential comedy fan-fic gold so keep up the good work :D
MrSquaad. (pronunciation is the same as the word rad.)
A: Thanks, I really appreciate the compliment! :)
Q: A little too much like tfs but Still enjoyable
A: Well, I did say, "written in the style of Team Four Star" in the story description, so I modeled this story in the writing style of DBZ Abridged, but I do see your point. Thanks!
Q: Piccolo, not caring about other people's pain since the original.
A: Very true.
Q: Hey! What if when Cooler kills Goku, Goku haunts Raditz during the SSJ vs Icer battle?
Raditz: "YES! HE'S GONE! HE'S FINALLY GONE!"
*Ding*
Ghost Goku: "Hi bro!"
Raditz: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *Turns SSJ*
A: A very funny idea. We'll have to see what happens! :)
Q: Zing! Poor Krillin, so sensitive about his epic levels of fail… xD The Raditz Owned Count continues to amuse me as well. Silly Raditz, you should know to guard your face so Piccolo won't keep smashing it in.
A: Yeah, Raditz definitely needs to work on that. ;)
