- Author's note - I don't own the Joker. DC Comics please don't sue! Thanks to everyone taking the time to read, review, and putting the story on favorite/story alert lists! I hope I did the Joker justice, I was scared to death writing this chapter. After this chapter there will be a bit more action. Please review, it inspires me.
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Looking around the grubby conference room with disdain, the Joker noted no cameras or listening devices visible to the naked eye. Of course, he was well aware the District Attorney, Gotham PD, or even the Batman could have bugged the room in the vain attempt to garner some advantage over him during the upcoming trial.
The Batman...
He shifted his shoulders ever so slightly and a satisfying crunch sounded from his left scapula. Tension dissipated from his body and the Joker relaxed. He was a little disappointed, even six months after being captured, with the fact Batman hadn't made any attempt to break into Arkham and kill him.
The Joker had been so sure little Rachel Dawes was Batty-Boy's part-time honey, when she wasn't servicing Harvey Dent, idiot savant, of the DA's office. Most women, in his experience, fell into two distinct categories: whores with a set of brass balls bigger than his own and brainless, spineless whores who were a waste of the skin draping their pretty little bodies.
He preferred the ballsy variety.
The toy is always more fun when it fights back.
A slight grin slid his scarred lips upward in a mockery of a smile. The little masked lun-a-tic on his floor had piqued his interest when she'd flipped him the bird - he hadn't had someone give him the finger since before…
He began to stroke the thick internal scar tissue of his cheek with his tongue; feeling every nuance of the healed slits. His tongue was equally battered and he'd lost a great deal of taste when he'd been butchered. Most people had no idea his mouth had been just as savaged as his face and so he'd developed a rather intense craving after the attack for salty and sweet foods because he could taste them better.
The Joker had caught just a ghost of a smile in the girl's eyes and the thought of it made him giggle at the memory.
"May I ask what you find to be so amusing?"
He smacked his lips, rolling his eyes heavenward. "No, you may not ask-uh. I might be in the, ah, crazy house, but I'm entitled to my pri-v-acy." The Joker jerked his chin toward the ceiling. "Speaking of which, have you checked for bugs?"
Earl Finley sat across from him as prim as a Sunday school teacher. He wore a navy, pinstripe suit with a plain white shirt and a plain navy tie, he looked every inch the ninny the Joker suspected his lawyer to be. "I've had this room swept several times and there are no surveillance devices."
"Good-uh," The Joker smacked his lips loudly before tapping his hands on the table. "So have you contacted Billy-boy yet?"
Earl's eyes widened behind his thick glasses. "I thought you said you wanted to go through with the trial… "
"Tut-tut, Earl, have you learned nothing, my snooty little friend?" The Joker curled his hands into fists; willing himself not to choke the life out of his attorney. After all, he was a man of his word and he'd promised no naughty behavior in exchange for help in getting out of Arkham, legal or not. "The sys-tum in old Gotham isn't all its cracked up to be. I prefer not to leave my fate in the hands of the ignorant, ah, masses of this city."
Earl flipped open his blackberry and thumbed through his contact list. "You know I wouldn't do this for anyone else..." He turned an expectant gaze on the Joker. "I hope you meant what you said about us."
Raising one eyebrow, the Joker smiled. "You wound me, darling, you really do." Leaning forward, he let his dark eyes roam up and down the smaller man as they grew dark with lust; Earl had no idea the lust in the Joker's eyes was for blood, not sex. "I pro-mised you the night of your life, didn't I?"
The sudden soft, sing-song quality of the Joker's voice made Earl's blood race through his veins and he swallowed the thick knot in his throat. He was all too aware of the Joker's violent history. Earl Finley had never been as attracted to any man as he was to the damaged creature across from him; the very viciousness of the Joker was sexy as hell to Earl.
"I have his number," Earl mumbled. "What do you want me to say?"
"Tell Billy-boy I want to be out of this joint before the trial," The Joker replied sternly. "The food is terrible and so is the company - besides, I'm bored. I need to blow something up before I lose my mind like the rest of the cretins here."
While Earl was busily texting, the Joker licked his lips as he glanced around the room. "Speaking of the crazies, I have a question for you."
Earl grunted as he finished the message. "Shoot."
"Poor choice of words," the Joker hissed. "I have a tendency to take things lit-er-ally."
"What?"
The Joker frowned. "I want some information on, ah, one of my, ah, neighbors. Who has cell 12D on my floor?"
Earl Finley paled. "You can't be serious?!"
"Oh from time to time I'm deathly serious," The Joker's eyes pinned Earl to his chair; the dark orbs full of malice and sensual promise. "Don't disappoint me, darling."
The lawyer slowly put away his blackberry before speaking. "12D is Harleen Quinzel, she's another client of mine."
The Joker's mind was running riot and his excitement boiled over as frenzied toe tapping on the floor. "Quinzel, huh? What did she-uh do?"
"Supposedly, Harleen killed her entire family with a hatchet eleven years ago. I don't believe she committed the crime and neither does the new DA." Earl shrugged. "It was good Commissioner Gordon asked Sharon Kennison for a new investigation."
Blinking, the Joker could hardly believe his luck. "Gordon? What's he-uh got to do with it?"
Earl shrugged. "Jim Gordon is Harleen's godfather. He visits her faithfully the last Sunday of every month; he's been visiting since Harleen was brought here."
"Hmmm..." The Joker shifted his wrists, frowning as the chains holding him to the table rattled. "In-ter-esting, very interesting indeed. I wonder why she wears a mask, Earl."
"Don't even get me started," Earl spat with disgust. "Harleen's treatment here has been absolutely appalling! First, she's attacked by three guards who clearly had the intention of raping her… "
"Did they?"
"No," Earl shuddered. "Harleen, well, she… defended herself."
The Joker kept a straight face, only the gleam in his eyes gave away his excitement, as he stretched his long legs. "In-deed." He stretched out his syllables out of interest or irritation; in this case, he was feeling both emotions. Earl had the decidedly annoying habit of beating around the bush. "So what happened? Did she kick them in the family je-wels?"
"Not quite," Earl took off his glasses and began to polish them. The Joker imagined shoving the eyewear down his attorney's throat and watching as the little worm choked to death; he smiled at the thought. Earl perched his glasses back on his nose and sighed. "She maimed them pretty badly - hence, the mask."
"Good," The Joker replied darkly. "Too bad she didn't kill them." There was one, well really two, laws he held while rejecting all other rules - rape and child molestation were both detestable acts. All rapists and molesters deserved to die; he'd carved up a few himself before dispatching them to hell.
Sure, he was responsible for the death of a few rug rats in his crime sprees, Chaos dictated everybody had to go sometime, but he'd cut off his own dick before he touched a child... the very thought sickened him.
The Joker felt his stomach tighten in warning.
He had, courtesy of his permanent grin, been forced to procure ladies of the night to satiate his physical desires. No woman had ever proved willing until he flashed some green their way, but he was a man of his word and he paid the piper for services rendered. Not once had it occurred to the Joker to rape one of the whores he'd bought - or some uptight broad out minding her business.
Nope, he preferred going without to using force when it came to sex - unless he was having his hoochie mama of the week play the dominatrix. Now that was fun! Pity most of the females he'd come across preferred it the other way around.
A slap in the face or a knee to the groin make for excellent foreplay. The Joker smirked at the thought.
"She sure tried." Earl was shaking his head. "Harleen jammed her forefinger in one guard's eye, which he later lost, and bit the second guard's throat so badly he nearly bled out."
"And the third guy?" The Joker inquired patiently.
Earl shuffled some papers nervously. "Use your imagination."
The Joker snickered. "I like full diss-closure."
"Let's just say he has half a chance of fathering children," Earl choked out; his face now pasty.
The Joker's brow rose and he chuckled quietly for a moment before a burst of riotous laughter took him over. He laughed so hard tears welled up in his eyes, making the world around him blur, before the bitter liquid spilled down his cheeks. It was only when the salty wetness made it to his lips, teasing his tongue, he managed to stifle the high pitched giggles still threatening to escape his throat.
"I have to meet this little morsel," The Joker smacked his lips before tonguing his scars briefly. "Maybe I could offer her a job!"
Earl's thin eyebrows drew together. "Have you lost your mind? She's Commissioner Gordon's goddaughter for fuck's sake!" He frowned and looked away from the Joker. "Harleen Quinzel isn't worth all the thought you're putting into her - she's damaged goods."
"Jealous?" The Joker needled. "I think you are, my sweet boy." He leaned forward and managed to poke Earl's hand with his forefinger. "Hey, look at me."
Earl turned his face to the table.
Rage, blood red, exploded like fireworks behind the Joker's eyes. "I. Said. Look. At. Me!" Each word, short and harsh, was ground out with more venom than a cobra could hope to produce; this tone never failed to yield results. Earl glanced up, tears shining in his eyes. The Joker flashed a brief smile in the other man's direction. "First, jealousy is ridiculous, Earl - I gave you my word we'd be together when this was all over and I'd give you the night of your life and I will. Second, dropping the F-bomb makes an educated fellow such as yourself look like a complete moron so don't do it again. And third… "
The Joker cleared his throat and tilted his head as he stared at his lawyer. "Third, you really shouldn't make ass-ump-tions about who is and isn't damaged goods so to speak. I mean uh," he indicated his scars with one hand. "not so bright. You have no clue how helpful little Miss Masked Mayhem might be to my cause so do me a favor and shut it."
"What cause?" Earl whispered.
The Joker raised one eyebrow. "Clueless, utterly clueless. Never mind." Chaos you little fool! Chaos is my cause! He was screaming away inside his own mind even as his lips curved upward into a terrible parody of a smile. "Shall we discuss something more pleasant? I heard the cops took a few shots at the Batman. Did they hurt him?"
"Shouldn't we talk about your case?"
"Nah, Billy-boy will break me out in plenty of time to avoid the atrocity Gotham's trying to pass off as a trial. I suppose it may be amusing to see you match wits with Kennison and try to work your magic on the peanut gallery sitting in the jury box, but I'll have to cope with the disappointment of missing it all."
Earl's face flushed. "Is Billy your boyfriend?"
The Joker blinked slowly and cracked his neck. "Billy is my… ah… employee for lack of a better term." He was fully capable of trying to seduce a man, if need be, but his sexuality was firmly grounded on the heterosexual side; he was too entranced by breasts and curvy hips and other delectable niblets of the female anatomy to give it up for his own gender. "You really do need to get over your jealousy issues, Earl. I find this lack of self confidence you have to be rather, well, pa-the-tic."
The other man's eyes grew watery and the Joker found himself wanting to throttle Earl. "No, Batman escaped without any injury."
"Hmm..." The Joker smacked his lips once and turned his attention to the ceiling. "Good, good, goody. I would hate for someone else to have all the fun."
