Let Love In

By Terri Botta

Disclaimer: I don't own the Southern Vampires. Sole copyright belongs to Charlaine Harris. I'm poor so don't sue.

Rating: M for later chapters.

Timeframe: Post-From Dead to Worse

Pairing: Eric/Sookie

Summary: Eric decides that it's time for him and Sookie to come to an understanding.


Let Love In

Chapter Three

She got herself under control while she ate the sandwich, keeping her eyes down so she wouldn't look at him. He seemed to be doing much the same, leaning his head back against the plush seat and staring up at the jet's ceiling. Remembering what he had just said, she came to a revelation about the night of the Shreveport- St. Catherine Were War.

"It was you," she blurted suddenly.

"Hm?" he replied, turning his face to her.

"I knew you were coming. I knew you were on your way. You gave me your strength," she continued.

"When?" His eyes were bright and he was listening intently, but she was too busy having an epiphany to notice.

"During the Were War. Priscilla had jumped on Sam, and I… I jumped on her. Something snapped in me. I… saw her kill Amanda, then jump on Sam, and I… just lost it. I leaped onto her back, and clamped onto her, and just kept squeezing her around the neck until she had to let go of Sam. She was shaking me, and trying to bite me, but I wouldn't ease up. Sam finally got himself together enough to fight, so I let go, and he killed her just as Claudine got there."

"The fairy was there too?" she heard him growl.

Anger came barreling across the bond again, but she felt him struggling to rein it in.

"Well… yeah. She popped in in the middle of it. I don't know how she knew I was in danger, but she did, and she just appeared next to me right after I let go of Priscilla."

She saw him clench his fists and grit his teeth. His fangs were out again, and she scrambled for something to say that might help.

"But it was you. You gave me the courage to jump on Priscilla. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew you were reaching out to me…"

"I gave you the courage to idiotically jump onto a Were in the middle of a pack war?" he scoffed, then clamped down on his next words, shaking his head.

She saw a smear of blood on his lower lip so he must have been biting down to keep his temper under control, and she waited while he struggled with himself. He finally let out a huge burst of air through his nose, and she felt the tension flood out of the bond.

"Perhaps it was best that I did not catch up with you. If you had smelled of blood and war and fairy, I might not have been able to stop myself from fucking you on your front porch and damn all who saw us."

Score one for the bluntly honest vampire. She stayed silent because there was nothing she could say to that. After a few more tense moments, Eric let out another breath and made a motion towards the forgotten garment bag lying on the floor next to her chair.

"I don't want to talk about that anymore. You have another gift in there. Hopefully it will help us focus… on more pleasant things," he said.

She nodded and wiped her hands on a napkin to get off any crumbs from the sandwich before she reached into the garment bag. The plastic dress bag was still in there, opaque white so she couldn't see what was inside it. She unhooked the hanger from the holder and pulled out the bag, draping the item across her lap so she could lift the plastic and see what was inside. She gasped when she saw an exact copy of the blue dress she had worn to the ball in Rhodes.

"Oh…" she breathed, lifting the ice blue, silver beaded garment up with reverence. "Eric…"

Now she was even happier that she'd brought the other blue dress because it meant that she had the shoes and jewelry that would go with this one.

"I know you lost the other one in Rhodes," he said, his voice almost too soft for her to hear.

"Yes." She remembered the ball. She remembered dancing with Eric, how he had spun her around in his arms, and made her feel like she was flying. She felt a pang for everything that was lost when the Fellowship bombed the Pyramid of Gizeh Hotel, but thanked God that everyone who had been important to her had survived. "It's beautiful. Thank you."

"You were stunning in that dress. I have dreams of you wearing it."

She felt the stirrings of lust building low in her belly, and she allowed herself to feel the heavy warmth. Eric's interest echoed across the bond, and she licked her lips, giving him what she hoped was a sultry look. Judging by the expression on his face, she was succeeding.

"And will I… have an occasion to wear this dress while we're away?" she asked, keeping her voice low.

"It will be far too cold for you to go out in it, but perhaps for a… private showing," Eric replied, his eyes smoldering at her as his fangs came down a little.

Read: 'Put it on so I can take it off you, or fuck you in it, or both. I don't care.'

She didn't care either. The warmth in her lower abdomen was spreading, and she found herself lifting out of her seat to lean across the table between them. She balanced her hip on the edge and lowered her face close to his until their lips were almost touching. She closed her eyes as she heard him inhale to breathe in her scent.

"Eric…" she breathed.

"Sookie…" he answered in the same soft voice.

Their lips met and she felt him reach over to pull her across the table, his hands on her waist as their tongues dueled. Lust flared and wrapped around her, fed by Eric's growing desire, and she lifted her hands to tangle them into his long hair. Eric moaned into her mouth, and the sound was so low and desperate that she almost thought he was in pain. It was an amazing turn on.

Her mind went into hyper-drive as it began to rationalize what she was about to suggest. She and Eric were the only passengers, there was no cabin crew to see them, the pilot was behind a closed door… With the presence of the two loveseats, she was sure she wasn't the only one who had thought of what she was about to do.

"Would you like to join the Mile High Club?" she murmured when he let her breathe.

He chuckled low and soft. "I hate to tell you, my lover, but I'm already a charter member."

Why was she not surprised to hear that? Well, at least he could show her the ropes.

"Well then, maybe you can help initiate me," she said, kissing him again.

His hand slid up her side, pausing a moment to cup one breast. She groaned and used her leverage on his head to pull herself closer, pressing her body into his hands. She felt his fingers squeeze ever so slightly, then was shocked when he gently, but firmly pushed her away.

"Eric?"

She saw him move his mouth, but it took him a few moments before he was able to speak. She looked down, confused, because she could clearly see the large lump in his jeans.

"As much as I would love to, my lover, I'm afraid we can't."

His careful refusal brought her back to earth, and she was ashamed of her own brazenness. Getting a hold of herself, she took a deep breath and smoothed back her tousled hair.

"Right. You're right. We don't know if the plane will hit turbulence or if the pilot has to pee and accidentally walks in on us…"

Who would have thought that Eric would have been the rational one of the two of them?

"It's not that. In fact, it's taking every bit of effort I have not to throw you onto those loveseats and fuck the daylights out of you," he admitted, his eyes dilated with want.

Well, okay. "What's stopping you?"

"You are."

"Uh… Eric. In case you hadn't noticed, I wasn't saying no."

He smiled. "I noticed. And I do appreciate your… enthusiasm, but I promised myself that I was going to handle you differently from now on, and I'm committed to keeping that promise."

"What do you mean, handle me differently?" she repeated, not liking the sound of that at all.

"It would be far too easy to give into my urges and take you. Once I got started, I don't know if I'd be able to stop. I'd fuck you here twice at least, once across this table and once on the loveseat. I'd fuck you on the couch after we checked into our lodgings, or on the floor if we didn't make it that far. And of course, the moment I got you into the bed, you wouldn't get out of it until dawn," he explained, his hand reaching down to absently stroke himself through the denim of his jeans.

"I could spend the next four nights doing the same thing," he continued. "I'm sure both of us would enjoy it very much. But then none of the other reasons I have for bringing you here with me would get addressed, and settling things between us is much more important to me than a string of sexual escapades, no matter how much I might want them."

She stared at him, incredulous and not believing what she was hearing. "So basically you're telling me no sex until we've worked this shit out between us."

"That's exactly what I'm telling you."

She was now convinced that the vampire sitting before her was not Eric, but an undead Pod Person who looked like him, because the Eric she knew would never pass up sex with anyone, least of all pass up sex with her. "Who are you and what have you done with Eric?"

He chuckled, but it was bitter, as was the smile he gave her. "I realize that this might come as a shock to you, Sookie, but I don't always think with my dick. I can, on occasion, think quite clearly with the head on my shoulders."

She frowned, looking away, because she could think of numerous times when Eric had thought quite clearly with the right head, but then invariably ruined whatever progress he'd made with her by thinking with the wrong one. Come to think of it, however, those incidents had stopped quite a while ago. Eric had been much more serious around her lately, especially since Rhodes. The realization made her very uncomfortable, and that made her defensive. She'd learned that the best defense when dealing with a vampire (or any Supe for that matter) was a good offense.

"Oh, so, what you're telling me is that, unless we "come to an understanding" as you put it, we're going to – what? Play cards for the next four days? Will you make me wait in the other room while you call for room service?" she snapped.

"Excuse me? What did you say?"

His voice was sharp, bordering on angry, and she paid attention. "I asked if we were going to play cards."

"Not that babbling idiocy, the other part; the part about room service."

There was a dangerous glint in his eyes, but she didn't think his growing outrage was directed at her.

"Well, you'll… have to feed, and I know places that cater to vamps they have… donors on staff who…" She stopped because Eric's face had paled and he'd gotten very, very still. Not a good sign.

"Are you telling me that someone did that to you? Ordered a donor then made you wait in the other room?"

She gulped and was almost too scared to answer. His eyes narrowed and she could practically hear the wheels turning in his head.

"Did Bill do that to you?"

She didn't have to reply because her reaction gave her away through the bond. Eric curled back his upper lip, his fangs fully down, and growled.

"I'll kill him."

That sent her scrambling. "He didn't want to do it! But he was hungry, and he knew he couldn't feed on me because he'd weaken me too much, and I had to be in top form because…" She rounded, going on the defensive again. "Because you had rented me out to the Dallas vampires, and I had to be strong enough to find Farrell!"

Her jibe didn't work. He was still furious, the waves of rage careening though the bond, and she thought he was going to break the seat because he was gripping the arms so tightly.

"Eric, calm down!"

"Calm down? He paid you one of the highest insults one of us can pay to a human, and you want me to calm down?"

"Oh, like, you wouldn't have done the same thing," she accused.

"Never!"

He said it with such force that it stunned her speechless.

"Never," he said more softly. "I would have drank a whole case of that synthetic crap or gone out to the donor myself before I would have degraded you like that."

His admission struck her in a warm place and she teared up. "Yeah, well. You're a lot older than Bill. You don't need as much blood," she said, her voice a little sulky.

"That's no excuse."

She hadn't thought so either, but she hadn't had the courage to tell Bill that at the time. Funny how she'd always been a little afraid of him. She'd been terrified of Eric, but that had never kept her from speaking her mind. If anything, she was convinced her willingness to get in his face had kept her alive.

There was silence between them, and she was glad to feel his anger fading. What replaced it was an odd jumble of emotions that she had difficulty interpreting.

"Does that mean you won't order room service? Even if we…" she began tentatively, picking at a bit of lint on her sweater.

"I can subsist on synthetic blood if I have to, and Isle Elena will have food choices that I wouldn't normally have available to me. I do, however, harbor a deep hope that we will resolve our differences quickly," he replied before she could finish the question.

He'd said the word "quickly" with a husky rasp in his voice, and his accent deepened like it always did when he was struggling with his emotions.

She cast a glance at him. He was watching her like a lion watches the gazelle he's chosen to eat. Butterflies started fluttering around in her belly, and a new wave of lust hit her, but she tamped it down for both of their sakes.

"And if we don't? Are you going to be okay?" she questioned, motioning to the bulge that was still in his pants – or had it gone away when he'd gotten angry but come back when she'd started feeling frisky again? She hadn't noticed. She was noticing now. She could almost see the complete outline of his erection pressing against the confines of the jeans, and she remembered how… adequate his endowments had been. It made her squirm a little.

"You really need to stop that or I'll break my promise," he warned, his nostrils flaring. "And as for whether or not I can go without sex for 4 days, I have gone without for a lot longer than that."

Somehow the thought of Eric being celibate didn't enter into her worldview of him.

"What are you saying? How long has it been since you've had sex?" she asked, not even thinking that it was too personal a question to ask. Her grandmother would have been appalled, but Eric did not seem to be offended.

"Three weeks and two days," he answered without hesitation, as if he'd been keeping count – counting the long, arduous nights of depravation.

For Eric, who spent much of his time in Fangtasia surrounded by fang-bangers who were desperate for his attentions, that was kind of like tossing a recovering alcoholic into a room full of booze. She gasped.

"You're joking. That's…"

"Exactly the number of nights that have passed since I remembered our time together at your house," he confirmed. "This isn't how I wanted you to find out, but," He waved a dismissive hand. "you asked."

She stared at him. He was sitting there, calm as could be, admitting that he'd gone without sex for almost a month, all because he had remembered the sex they'd had when he was cursed.

His erection hadn't faded. Now she knew why.

"You're joking," was all she could say, but inwardly she was remembering another vampire who had denied himself for three weeks, or more vividly the amazing sex she and Bill had had after they'd made up. Eric had gone just as long. And he was better in bed… Oh, God.

"I'm not."

His voice was strained. He could feel her reaction to his admission, and it had to be stretching his control. She tried to rein it in before he jumped on her, because right now if he moved she knew what would happen. She'd be splayed out on the loveseat lickety-split, and half of her would be overjoyed to find herself there. The other half was backpedaling like crazy because she didn't want to face the implications of what he'd done.

"Why would you do such a thing?" she demanded.

"Fidelity is very important to you. I wanted to prove to you that I could be faithful," he replied, then shifted a little uncomfortably. "All the same, with all of the distractions of the new king and your brother, and also because you have spent the last three weeks avoiding me as much as possible, it has been very… difficult for me."

She stood up, needing to put distance between them in order to process what he'd just told her. The reasoning went too deep, and she just couldn't deal with it right now. She still hadn't sorted out how she was feeling about him, and now he'd dumped this in her lap.

"No. Oh no, I don't believe you. You forget that I never forgot those days you were at my house. I know your sex drive. You couldn't go four hours let alone almost four weeks!"

"Are you doubting my ability to commit? You think I cannot control my urges enough to remain true?"

She ignored the edge of warning in his voice and pressed on, "I'm saying that you spend your nights surrounded by fang-bangers who'll jump at the chance to throw themselves at you. You can't tell me you haven't had any of them for almost a month."

"I gave up fucking, Sookie. I didn't give up feeding. Of course I've had them. The difference is they haven't had me."

"I'm sure they're so disappointed," she sneered.

"As a matter of fact, they are. Pam accused me of being bad for business."

"Then why did you do it?"

"I told you why. Fidelity is one of your most strict expectations."

"Eric, we aren't dating! We aren't a couple! We aren't anything to each other!" she shrieked.

His hand slapped down on the table and the little peg leg holding it up cracked. The whole thing gave way and crashed against the cabin wall. The sound made her freeze and stare at the broken table that now hung by one hinge. He rose up, a blond Norse God of rage, and towered over her.

"You are my blood-bonded," he growled, reaching for her arm. She cowered and cringed away from him, but that only made him angrier. He grabbed her by the shoulders and made her look at him. "Do not be afraid of me! I am not going to hurt you."

"Let me go!"

He complied immediately, and she almost stumbled because she'd lost her balance when he'd grabbed her. She steadied herself by grabbing hold of the back of the closest recliner seat and used it to keep herself standing. She was panting and going into overload. Eric was angryanguishedhurtworriedfrusrated. She felt the tears welling in her eyes, and she bent her head to rest her forehead on the seat in an attempt to get herself under control. If she could calm down, he would too. Maybe. Judging by the amount of pain and frustration coming across the bond, that was doubtful.

Suddenly everything stopped. Oh not the jet or the Earth spinning on its axis or her own head spinning with it, but everything from the bond. It went from a screaming tangle of emotions to one big blank. She felt nothing. Nada. Zip. Not even the buzz of Eric's life force humming along in the background. It was like he wasn't there anymore.

Horrified, she whipped her head up to see that he'd sat down in the plush chair. He was motionless, staring straight ahead, and she thought he'd gone into downtime, but if so it wasn't like any downtime she'd ever seen any vampire do. At least then, she'd had a sense of the being in the reanimated body, but this was like there was a hole where Eric had been: a big, black empty chasm his presence had once filled. The hole was cold and it ached.

Was this what it would feel like if Eric was killed? Her knees went weak.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

His voice drowned out the rushing in her ears, and she looked at him, her eyes wide. He was back, the buzzing, the humming of his life entwined with hers, and the hole filled up again, but it was full of sorrow and heartache.

"Eric! What did you just do?" she cried, forcing her legs to support her long enough for her to slide into the seat of the plush chair.

"I cut off the tie."

"You can do that?" Her chest was throbbing, aching like a limb that was coming back to life after it had gone numb.

"If I try hard enough, yes. It's a protection. If I were being tortured, I could make it such that my blood-bonded couldn't feel it."

"To spare me the pain."

"Yes."

He looked away, and she'd never seen him so… subdued. She probed the bond, sifting through the emotions and trying to figure out which ones were hers. She was frightened and confused. Eric was miserable. Great way to start a four-day trip.

"You don't want to be tied to me," he stated. His voice was devoid of all emotion. "I knew in Rhodes when I offered myself in Andre's place, that you would come to resent it. Do you hate me already?"

"No, Eric. I don't hate you." Of that much she was certain.

"That's good. That's a good place to start."

She looked down at her hands. "I don't know how I feel," she admitted.

"That seems to be a common issue with you."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I want you to be honest with me. We have no hope of reaching any understanding if we aren't completely up-front with each other."

She nodded. He was right, of course.

"If we're being honest," she began, biting her lip. "then, no, I wouldn't like it. I admit, being blood-bonded to you is… confusing and inconvenient at times, and frustrating most of the time, but I wouldn't be happy if we weren't connected because then that would mean that… you were dead."

"My death would hurt you."

"Yes."

"Your rejection hurts me. You fight our bond all the time, Sookie. The only time you didn't fight was when I couldn't remember who I was. Then… then you were everything I knew you could be."

He stopped, but his face said that there was more he wanted to say. Whatever it was, he held it in. He looked at the ceiling of the jet, then out the small window to the night sky. She looked out too, seeing the clouds lit by moonlight and more stars than anyone saw from the ground these days because of all the light pollution.

They watched for a while. She breathed. He didn't. But in the silence broken only by the humming of the jet engines, the chaos swirling in the bond ebbed and faded. They both calmed, and she felt the contented happiness that had become so familiar to her when she was in his presence creep back into her mind. Normally, she would resent what she felt was an artificial manipulation of her emotions, but right now she was glad for it.

She let her eyes slide to the side a bit to peek at him in profile. He was still looking out the window, his expression thoughtful and far away. It was so different from his trademark leer and overconfident look, but then she had seen less and less of that Eric lately, especially when they were alone. Knowing what she knew now about his sacrifice, she wondered what else he would be willing to give up.

"Did you really give up…" she asked softly.

"Yes. But I don't want to talk about that now. Things aren't calmed down enough between us," he interrupted.

Read: I'm a hair's breadth away from losing it again.

"Okay. What should we talk about?"

"I have no idea."

"Why don't you tell me more about where we're going? You said you'd been there once before?"

"Yes, a couple of years before we went public. The Queen brought me and the other Louisiana Sheriffs to Isle Elena to discuss our feelings on the subject," he said.

"And how did you all feel about it?"

"There were mixed feelings, of course, but we all agreed that it was getting harder and harder to hide our existence. Advances in human science and technology were outpacing us, and we knew it was only a matter of time before we were discovered. With the release of synthetic blood, we had a reason to take off the masks. We ripped off the veil before it could be done for us, and in doing so, we ensured our survival."

She processed what he'd said and took it in.

"So it was a political move for you."

"It was a self-preservation move. None of us would have gone public if we hadn't known our very existence depended upon it."

She nodded. She knew quite a few vamps who were not at all happy with the status quo.

"What's Isle Elena like?"

"It's a peaceful place. There is a main lodge near the lakeshore. The dining room and communal rooms are there. There are a few suites in it as well, but most guests stay in separate lodgings situated around the property."

"What kind of room will we be staying in?"

"I've requested a cottage suitable for someone with my particular needs. Which means it will have a light-proof room attached to it in some fashion where I can spend the day."

"So we're going to be in our own separate cabin?" she pressed, trying to form a picture of the place in her mind.

"If we get the accommodations I requested, yes, and I can't see why we wouldn't. The last time I was there, there were plenty of cottages and cabins. Most guests coming to Isle Elena value their privacy."

She tried to imagine a little cabin on a lakeshore, tucked away amid the trees. Maybe there would be a fireplace. Maybe it would be in the bedroom. She glanced at Eric to see that he was watching her. She looked down at her hands again.

"I'm sorry this trip isn't turning out the way you wanted it to."

"No. I knew, given your history with men, that reaching an understanding with you would not be easy. To be honest, this is actually going better than I expected."

She gave a mirthless snort. "Given my history with men," she repeated dourly.

Funny how the only one she'd really connected with had been a vampire with amnesia. What did that say about her?

"Don't be so sad."

She winced. He'd said the same thing to her in her living room, right before he'd realized that she'd had his blood.

"I'm not. Not really," she sighed. "Just…"

"Let's not talk about this now, Sookie," he said, his voice very gentle. It was the kind of voice that always put her at ease, and she relaxed. "We'll land at Isle Elena in under two hours. From there we'll check into our lodgings and have some supper. After that, we'll begin our conversation. We have… much to say to each other, I think."

She had no doubt about that. That was what she was afraid of.

Had she been at home, she probably would have taken any excuse to beg off and get him to leave her alone. She might even have gone as far as rescinding his invitation to her house just to get rid of him. If he chose to object or follow her, she could have listed many reasons for why it wasn't a good time for her to talk. But with the advent of the trip, all of those excuses had been removed. She couldn't claim work or trouble with her brother or issues with the Weres or a problem with the house in order to avoid facing him. The moment she had stepped on the plane with him, he'd taken her away from all of those distractions.

How pragmatic. How typical of Eric to do such a thing. He knew she had been avoiding him and making excuses for not seeing him. Now he had removed all of those obstacles and forced her to deal directly with him. And she'd walked right into his little trap like a blind cow.

Piggybacking on that revelation was another one that was equally distressing. Eric knew her habit of leaving when things got rough between her and Bill. He'd asked her specifically if that was how she handled problems in her relationships. At the time she'd said she hadn't known (and she hadn't. Bill had been her first boyfriend. How could she have known?) but now even she was noticing a pattern. If she'd had a choice in the matter, she would have left him there an hour ago. If they'd been landing in a city, she would have booked either a flight back home or rented a car and drove. But they weren't going anyplace like that. No, once again Eric had been shrewd in his choice of locations.

He'd chosen a remote island retreat so she wouldn't be able to run away from him.

TBC…