Letters - Chapter 3: Fancy a Snog?

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and accept no credit towards it. I am not the wonderful J.K. Rowling nor am I in any way affiliated with her.

Warnings for instances of bad language and brief, passing mentions of sex.

Word Count (without A/N): 625

Arguing jily fluff for you all :D

Enjoy!


12th February 1976, 2:05PM

Dear Evans,

Fancy a snog behind the Herbology sheds after school?

James x

PS: I've written you a letter because apparently you girls love receiving handwritten notes and stuff. You're welcome, by the way.


12th February 1976, 2:10PM

Dear Potter,

You can't tell my tone because I'm writing it down but imagine this entire letter being spoken through gritted teeth because that is my mood right now.

No, I do not fancy a snog with you after school. End of story.

Find someone else to kiss, like the never ending list of all the girls you say are queuing up to date you. I'm sure you'll have no end of replacements to make up for my unwillingness to engage in activity with your tongue :)

Yours in irritancy,

Lily

PS: Yes, us girls love handwritten notes, but sweet handwritten notes not, 'do you want to screw later'. Just a tip. Jesus.


12th February 1976, 2:12PM

Dear Evans/Red/Lily/Ginger,

Well, I don't know what you have against my tongue but there's no need to sound so disgusted. I am actually a pretty good kisser according to multiple girls, thank you very much.

Why don't you want to snog me? We can call it a kiss if it would make you feel more comfortable.

And, I did not ask you if you wanted to screw - I am far too respectable for that. ;)

Yours in eagerness,

James x

PS: Please stop glaring at me. You're making Pete feel uncomfortable.


12th February 1976, 2:18PM

Potter,

For Heaven's sake, stop writing to me during class. I think McGonagall is starting to get on to us and if she reads these out to the class, I am going to die.

Is bragging about the amount of girls you've fucked supposed to make me jealous? Really, it just makes me wonder how many STDs you have.

Call it what you want, James, I'm not kissing you.

Kindly leave me alone.

Yours in anger,

Lily

PS: I will stop scowling if you'll actually start doing some work.


12th February 1976, 2:23PM

Dear Evans,

Merlin, your last letter was a little harsh. I was only asking. A simple yes or no would've also worked instead of insulting me.

This isn't how this whole flirting thing works, you know. I can show you how it's supposed to be done:

Me: You look absolutely stunning today, did you do something new to your hair?

You: Oh, why thank you for noticing, James, yes I did, and may I add that your eyes are looking particularly gorgeous today?

Me: You're too kind, Evans, really.

You: *blushes*

Me: Do you want to kiss?

You: Yes, absolutely. Come here.

Me: With pleasure

See?

Yours,

James x


12th February 1976, 2:27PM

POTTER,

STOP SENDING ME LETTERS. I'M TRYING TO WORK.

Also, you're just being pedantic now.

Also, also, that was the most awkward flirting encounter I've ever read. Nobody speaks that.

Also, also, also, we are not flirting. This, no, not flirting. This is called arguing.

Yours sincerely,

Lily

PS: Why has Sirius got quills in his hair?


12th February 1976, 2:30PM

Dear Evans,

It is an experiment. Him and Pete are trying to see how many they can fit in his hair.

Also, I don't know what pedantic means but, unless it means drop dead gorgeous, I'm definitely not it.

So, about that snog-

Shit, shit, shit, McGonagall has seen, she's coming over, fuck we're dead, well it was nice knowing you, Evans-


Confiscated by Minerva McGonagall on 12th February 1976 at 2:31PM off an agitated and red-faced James Potter.

Rediscovered five years later on 2nd November 1981 by aforementioned McGonagall as she cleared out her office.


Soooo, slightly different from my first two which were as angsty as you like. But fluff is good, yes?

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Thank you to Niha and RavenclawWeasel531 who reviewed last chapter. You are wonderful!

As always, thank you for reading! Xx