Hi! Sorry for the delay in updating this story. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's all got in the way and kept me from writing. I'm hoping now that all of that is over I can get back in the groove.
Thanks for being patient with me.
Chapter 3
Jack didn't sleep well that night. The first couple of nights that he slept in Jim Heller's guest room he slept like the dead. Pure exhaustion and the relief of finally being free of Cheng and his men had allowed him to relax and enjoy hours of peaceful, uninterrupted sleep. But this night was different. He had fallen asleep easily only to be awakened by a nightmare less than an hour later. That seemed to set up a pattern for the night: an hour or so of sleep and then another nightmare.
The dreams were so real that he woke up in a cold sweat with his heart pounding fiercely. The settings were different but the theme repeated itself in each dream. In every one, Audrey was in trouble and crying for help. He desperately tried to get to her, sometimes he could even see her, but he could never reach her. In some of the dreams he was locked in the cell in the Chinese prison camp. In others he was at CTU or in a huge crowd in the middle of the city. In the end, he could always hear Cheng laughing as Jack tried in vain to reach Audrey.
The sound of Cheng's laughter chilled Jack to the bone. It haunted him. In his Special Forces training, Jack had been schooled in how to endure torture. That training had served him well in China, but the one thing he could never ignore or get used to was Cheng laughing. The sound was like a knife cutting into his soul. He set two goals for himself during his ordeal in China. The first was to stay alive. As he told Bill when Bill first explained that he had been returned to the US to be sacrificed, he didn't mind "dying for something", he just didn't want to "die for nothing." His second goal was to attack Cheng and rip out his vocal chords. He had no intention of killing the bastard. He just wanted to leave Cheng mute. Jack looked for any opportunity to achieve his goal. He had been able to get a hold of a piece of metal just a few weeks earlier. The metal was hidden in his cell and each night he took it out and began fashioning it into a makeshift knife. It would be months before he could turn it into a useful tool, but he was a patient man. Jack knew that if he did it, he would likely end up dying for his actions, but in his mind at the time, that was akin to "dying for something" and it was well worth it.
Each time Jack awoke from a nightmare, he had to remind himself where he was and that he was safe. He would recall that Audrey was asleep in the room across the hall and that Cheng was in US custody. He still had his vocal chords, but he was in custody. Slowly, Jack's heart rate would return to normal and he would relax and go back to sleep. As morning approached, that process became harder and harder. He couldn't bear going back to sleep and allowing the cycle to start again. Instead, he climbed out of bed just as the sun began to rise and readied himself to face the day.
Facing the day. That might just turn out to be a more daunting task than sleeping through the night had been. What would today bring? How would it end? Would it end with his arms warmly tucked around Audrey or with her not even recognizing him? Or worse yet, would she hate him for all she had endured because of him. What if that happened? What if she made him leave, kept him away from Jacqueline?
Jack stood, drinking a cup of coffee and staring over the cliff behind Jim Heller's house, imagining the pain of Audrey rejecting him and his losing Jacquline. He knew that it was more than he could take. It would be the pain of losing Teri all over again. It would be the pain of having Kim reject him. It would be the torture he lived through in China magnified. He shook his head to push the thought away. He could survive anything as long as Audrey didn't hate him. She wouldn't even have to love him anymore as long as she just didn't hate him and she allowed him to see Jacqueline. He remembered the few minutes that they had shared alone in the CTU storage room when he tried to break through Audrey's drug-filled haze and get some information from her. She had clung to him and held his hand. Was it because she remembered him or was it just because he was being kind to her and she was scared? He didn't know but he hoped that it represented some memory of the love they had shared.
"There you are. I was looking for you." Jack startled slightly as Jim Heller's voice came up from behind him. "It's barely daylight. What are you doing out here?"
"I couldn't sleep," Jack admitted. "What are you doing up so early?"
"Couldn't sleep either," Jim said looking down sheepishly. "I guess I'm worried about what's going to happen when Audrey wakes up today."
Jack nodded but said nothing.
Jim sighed and took a few steps away from Jack. He, too, stared down over the cliff contemplating the possibilities. "She's my whole world, Jack. Audrey and Jackie are all I have. You're young. You can move on. I know that you say you won't, but you can and you will. You'll find another woman who loves you and you'll make a new life for yourself. I don't have that luxury. I'm too old and too set in my ways to start again. I need my daughter and I need my granddaughter. I don't know how I'll go on if Audrey wakes up and is still in the same catatonic state that she was three days ago." He closed his eyes tightly as if to rub out a visual memory. "Her eyes were so vacant. It was as if she wasn't even in her own body. It was someone else's soul staring out at me through Audrey's eyes. I can't face that, Jack."
Jack saw the older man's eyes fill with tears. "I know," he whispered in return. "There was a moment or two at CTU when I thought she knew me, but I can't be sure about it. All we can do is wait and see what happens."
Both stared at the ocean lost in their own thoughts. Jim eventually broke the silence. "Did you have a nice visit with Kim?"
Jack couldn't help but smile. "It was great. She's so grown up now. I can't believe the change in her. I'm really proud of her."
"I'm sorry about letting Jacqueline run into the den. I tried to stop her but she got away from me. I'm sure that wasn't how you wanted Kim to find out about her."
"It's okay. You're right, that wasn't how I planned for Kim to find out. When Jackie first ran in, I was worried about how Kim would react, but it worked out fine. Like I said, Kim's grown up a lot in the last year-and-a-half. She accepted the situation really well."
"Your life's falling back into place, Jack. I'm happy for you," Jim said softly.
Jack nodded his thanks and stared back out at the ocean. He didn't doubt Heller's sincerity, but at the same time he realized that as the pieces of his life were falling more and more into place, Jim's world was as quickly coming apart. Jackie was happily bonding to her father and with Kim now on Jack's side, any hope Jim had of using Kim against her father in any future custody battle over Jackie had been destroyed. No, Jim was right. Jack's life was falling back into place; there was just one question left to be answered. "Now the only unknown is Audrey." Jack voiced his thoughts aloud.
The morning dragged on. Audrey's doctor told Jack and Jim that it would probably be several hours before she began to emerge from the drug-induced sleep that he had maintained for the past three days. Despite that, both were reluctant to leave her side, fearing that she would wake up alone and, possibly, disoriented and become frightened. As a compromise, they took turns sitting with her. Jacqueline clearly felt the raised anxiety level in the house and became more demanding of both her father and grandfather. So, whoever wasn't sitting with Audrey passed the time playing with Jacqueline.
It was early afternoon when Audrey first showed signs of waking. Jack had just put Jacqueline down for her nap and quietly entered Audrey's bedroom. Jim was now sitting on the edge of the bed holding her hand.
"Wake up, sweetheart," he said softly as he brushed some hair from her face. "We're here with you."
Audrey tossed her head slowly back and forth on the pillow. Her eyes were closed but her lips were moving as if forming words. She clutched the sheets with her free hand pushing them away and then pulling them back. Her movements slowly became more frantic and Jim tried in vain to calm her.
"Sweetheart, it's okay," he assured her. "Jack and I are here. You're safe. Please wake up, honey."
"Jack," Audrey mumbled sleepily as she began to fight against her father's grip. "Jack, help me! Please, help me, Jack!" she begged. Her eyes were still closed but her movements were becoming stronger and more purposeful. "Jack, please help me!"
Jim looked helplessly toward Jack who stepped forward and knelt next to the bed. He held her shoulders gently. "It's okay, baby. It's Jack. I'm here, honey. You're safe. Audrey, wake up. I need you to wake up for me. I need you to open your eyes, honey."
Audrey began fighting harder. Jack restrained her gently to make sure that she didn't hurt herself. "Jack! Jack, help me!" she cried as she pressed her hands against his chest. Her eyes finally opened, but she didn't seem to recognize him and Jack began to fear the worst.
"Audrey, look at me!" Jack implored her. He placed his hands on either side of her face. "It's me, honey. It's Jack. Look at me."
Slowly, Jack saw the change occur in Audrey's eyes. He knew that she recognized him and he began to smile. "It's okay, baby, I'm here. You're safe."
"Oh, Jack," Audrey whispered. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. "Oh, God, Jack! I knew you'd rescue me. I knew you'd find a way. I never gave up hope not for a minute. That's what kept me going. I knew that you'd find a way to escape and to rescue me."
As quickly as she had calmed down and relaxed in Jack's arms, he felt her tense up again. "Jack, if they find you here, they'll kill you. We have to get out of here!" Audrey struggled to get out of bed. "Help me up! We have to get out of here."
"Relax, honey," Jack cooed softly. "You're safe. We're not in China any more. We're home. We're back in The States. No one's going to hurt us. Look around you." He gestured to the rest of the room. "We're at your father's house."
"My father's house? How did we get here? Where is he? Is he safe?" Audrey asked anxiously.
"I'm right here, Audrey," Jim said, his voice filled with emotion. "I'm right here, sweetheart." He reached out and stroked her cheek.
"Dad!" she cried as she reached for him. "Thank God you're safe. They told me that if I didn't do what they wanted that they'd find you and kill you. I was so scared. They said that they'd kill you and Jacqueline." Audrey stopped abruptly and pulled away from Jim. "Jacqueline! Where's my baby. Is she okay? Is she safe?"
Both Jim and Jack were quick to try and allay Audrey's fears. "She's fine," Jim told her. "She's napping in her room, honey. She's just fine."
Audrey began to sob. "They told me that they'd kidnap her and torture her in front of me so that I'd talk. They thought I knew more about the raid on the Chinese embassy than I did. I was so afraid. I was so scared that they'd hurt her."
"They didn't get near Jacqueline. She's been safe the entire time. Nothing bad happened to her. Calm down, honey," Jim whispered as he held his daughter.
Audrey shook her head. She was beginning to panic. "We can't stay here. I'm afraid that they'll come here to find us. Jack, you have to find a way to make us all disappear. We have to go into hiding."
"Audrey, calm down," Jack said gently. "You have to believe me. We're all safe. Cheng is in US custody. He has no way to hurt us anymore. His men have no desire to hurt us. Our kidnappings were personal to Cheng. The Consulate that was killed at the Embassy was a relative of Cheng's. He wanted revenge for the raid. His men just went along with Cheng because he outranked them. Honey, it's over. We're home and we're safe."
"Are you sure?" Audrey asked.
"Positive," Jack replied. He smiled softly at her. "We're home and no one is going to hurt you again, sweetheart. I'll make sure of that. I'll keep you and Jackie safe."
Audrey's eyes widened suddenly as she remembered that the last time she saw Jack, he didn't know that they had a child. "Do you know about Jacqueline? Have you met her? I'm sorry, Jack. I wasn't trying to keep it a secret," she explained. "I just didn't want to tell you at CTU and have it distract you from all that was going on that day with the nerve gas. I wanted to tell you when we were alone."
"Don't worry about it, sweetheart. I understand. It's okay. I was pretty surprised when I met her but I love her to death. She's an angel and you and your dad have done a wonderful job raising her. Thank you for giving me such a beautiful daughter."
"I have to see her," Audrey insisted. "I know that you both said that she's fine, but I have to see her for myself."
"She's asleep in the next room," Jack told her as he took her hand and helped her from the bed.
Audrey stood unsteadily. "I feel like I haven't walked in a month. How long have I been sleeping?"
"About three days," Jim said as he stepped up next to Audrey to help steady her. "Take it slowly. You'll be fine."
Jim and Jack flanked Audrey as they walked across the room to the door. Jim stepped through without thinking about it. He looked back as he felt Audrey resist. She stood still and staring at the threshold. Jim tugged her hand gently.
Audrey closed her eyes and tears began to trickle down her face. Jack could feel her begin to tremble. Jim looked at her nervously.
"It's okay, sweetheart. I understand," Jack said as he drew her closer. He spoke tenderly. "The sudden freedom is a hard adjustment to make. You can leave the room. No one is going to stop you. No one is going to hurt you. It's taken me the last three days to start adjusting. We've both got a long road ahead of us, honey, but we can do it together. We'll need some help, but if we depend on each other we're going to make it. We have to. We owe it to Jacqueline."
Audrey nodded and swiped a hand across her face to wipe away the tears. She moved forward tentatively and crossed the threshold. As she put her foot on the other side, she looked at Jack smiling slightly. Jack smiled back and pressed a gentle kiss onto her temple. "The first step is the hardest and you did it. It's all down hill from here."
Together Jack and Audrey walked down the hall and into Jacqueline's room. The little girl was curled up on her bed with her favorite koala bear wrapped in her arms. Audrey gasped quietly and tears again drained from her eyes.
"Look how big she's gotten. She's so beautiful. I've missed her so much," Audrey whispered so as not to disturb her daughter's sleep. She knelt next to the bed and Jack could tell that she was fighting the urge to pull the sleeping child into her arms. He had fought that same urge just three nights earlier when he first met his daughter. "Does she remember me?" she asked hopefully.
Jim shrugged his shoulders slightly. "We talked about you every day. I kept a picture of you on her nightstand," Jim said as he pointed across the room. "Once you were home, she wanted to see you and she wanted you to wake up. So I'm not sure how much she remembers you but she knows who you are. Don't worry, honey, whether she remembers you or not, she'll adjust quickly. She's adjusted to Jack in just a couple of days. Now they're best buddies," Jim added in a voice that indicated to Jack that he still wasn't fully accepting of the situation.
Audrey stood and leaned against Jack. She put her arm around his waist. "Really? You two get along okay?"
"We're getting along great," Jack told her as he gazed on his sleeping child.
"She's sleeping so peacefully. I can't believe that I'm finally home and we're all together. This is all I focused on in China. Day after day, I made up scenarios in my head where you rescued me and brought me home to Jacqueline and the three of us were finally together."
"It's real this time, Audrey. It's real. We're home and we're together and nothing is going to separate us ever again."
"Promise?" she asked as hugged him tightly.
"Promise," he answered returning the hug.
The three adults watched Jacqueline sleep for a few more minutes before leaving the room and allowing her to finish her nap. Jack could feel a slight resistance from Audrey again as she stepped over the threshold and out of the room. It was obviously easier the second time and Jack breathed a silent sigh of relief. She was going to get better, just like he was, but it was going to take time. Neither of them would ever be the same, but he was now certain that they could live normal lives. Almost as importantly, Jack now knew that Audrey wanted him as part of her life and part of Jacqueline's.
"Are you hungry, Audrey?" Jim asked as they neared the kitchen. "You've been living off of intravenous fluids for the last few days. You should probably try and eat something light. Or maybe you would like to take a shower and get dressed. What would you like to eat? I'll have the housekeeper make that for you."
Audrey tensed against Jack. He realized that Jim Heller didn't understand his daughter right now. He couldn't give her a list of choices and expect her to make a decision. He knew by her reaction to stepping over thresholds that decisions were hard for her to make. Having had that freedom taken away from her for so long, and, he was sure, being punished physically or psychologically if she did make a decision on her own, she now became frightened when given even a simple decision to make.
"I… I… Jack? What?" she stuttered and pulled away from him to cower against a wall.
"It's okay, honey," Jack said kindly as he pulled her into his arms. "You don't have to decide right now. Let's make this easier. Are you hungry?"
"A little bit," Audrey answered still shaking like a frightened rabbit.
"Would you like something to eat?"
Audrey stood still her eyes darting back and forth between her father and Jack. It was a full thirty seconds before she finally nodded. "Yes," she said.
"Okay," Jack said in return. He knew better than to ask her what she wanted to eat. That was far too big a decision to make. With his special forces training, he had obviously fared better in captivity than Audrey had and choosing something to eat still unnerved him somewhat. He quickly searched his memory banks for what Audrey would have eaten for a light lunch back when they were dating. "Does yogurt and fresh fruit sound good to you."
Audrey finally smiled and began to relax. "Yes," she nodded. "That sounds good."
"Good." Jack smiled, too. It was going to be a long road, but they were going to make it. "While the housekeeper puts that together, would you like to take a shower?"
Again, Audrey nodded hesitantly. "I guess so," she whispered. Her eyes were wide and frightened. Jack knew instantly that she associated the shower with something bad or painful. Something had happened in or near a shower that frightened Audrey.
"It's okay, honey. Nothing bad will happen in the shower. You're safe. You can close and lock the door. I'll stay in the bedroom while you shower. No one will be able to hurt you." Jack assured her.
Jim went off to find his housekeeper and have her make lunch for Audrey. At the same time, Jack led Audrey back to the master bedroom where she had been sleeping. The bathroom was attached. "Go ahead and shower," he said making sure that she had a towel and shampoo and anything else that she needed. "I'll wait in the bedroom."
Jack started to close the bathroom door. He looked at Audrey who stopped and stared at the shower. "When I was first kidnapped," she started hesitantly still staring straight ahead. "Cheng's men took me back to the prison camp. My clothes were all torn and bloody from being pulled out of the car and beaten. The blood had dried and the fabric stuck to the wounds." She began to cry quietly. Jack closed the space between them and put his arms around her from behind.
Audrey continued, "There was a woman guard at the prison camp who acted like she wanted to be nice to me. Her English was perfect and she sat down and talked to me. She told me that if I'd just tell her what she needed to know that they could let me go. I probably would have told them anything at the time, but I didn't know anything valuable. She must have thought that I was holding out on her and she was looking for a way to force me to talk. So she continued to be nice and she asked me if I would like to have a shower and clean clothes. Of course I said 'yes'. Why would I refuse that?
"She took me down into a cellar where there was a cinder block and cement shower. I was in so much pain that I could barely stand on my own. She pushed me into the shower and I fell onto the floor. Then she and three other guards ripped my clothes off. All of the wounds reopened and I could see the blood on the shower floor. I just remember how much pain I was in and how scared I was. I was sure they were going to rape me but they didn't. I didn't understand what she was telling the guards, but I got the sense that she told them not to. I think that she understood that the fear of being raped was something they could continue to hold over my head. The guards argued with her for a while but in the end they obeyed her."
Audrey paused for a moment to get her breath. "After they tore off my clothes, the female guard turned on the shower. It was ice cold. I was lying on the cement floor of the shower crying and shivering. I couldn't move enough to get away from the cold water and even if I could, there was no place warm to go. I've never been so cold in my life. They finally turned off the water. And then, they closed the door to the shower and it was completely dark. There wasn't even a sliver of light under the door. I was so cold and so alone and so scared."
Tears filled Jack's eyes as he listed to Audrey. He pulled her closer knowing that the best thing to do was to let her continue as long as she wanted.
"I don't know how long I laid there. It seemed like days, but it was probably just a few hours or less. I was so disoriented by the darkness and I was going in and out of consciousness. Cheng finally opened the shower door and turned on a big spot light. He kept telling me that I needed to tell him everything or he would lock the door and leave me there. I must have been in shock because I just laid there and whimpered. I tried to form a coherent sentence. I tried to beg him not to do that, but I couldn't. I think Cheng got worried that they had gone too far; that they had really seriously hurt me. He was angry. I guess he was afraid that he might have lost his best source of information. He started yelling at the guards in Chinese. They pulled me up off of the floor and dragged me naked through the camp to a medical unit. I remember them throwing me on a gurney or some kind of a table. I must have passed out after that, because I don't remember any more until I woke up later in a cell. My cuts and bruises had all been bandaged and there was a splint on my wrist."
Jack was stunned as he listened to the last part of Audrey's story. He remembered clearly lying in his cell one night trying to sleep. He had been brutally beaten that day and his body ached from head to toe. He would have given anything at that moment to sleep but couldn't find a comfortable position on the cold, hard floor. As he tried for the millionth time to get comfortable, he heard Cheng talking to a female guard outside of his door. They were speaking in English. Jack had realized soon after his arrival at the camp, that the female guard was Cheng's second in command. They spoke English whenever they wanted to make sure that none of the other guards understood their conversation.
That particular night Cheng was angry. He kept his voice down to avoid a scene but his tone was sharp. Jack couldn't hear the entire conversation, but got the gist of it. He knew that a new prisoner was brought into the camp and the female guard was responsible for getting information from the prisoner. Cheng clearly thought that the guard had overstepped her bounds in trying to extract the information. He told the woman that the prisoner had to be sent to the medical unit for care. The guard sounded genuinely contrite as she begged his forgiveness.
At the time, Jack didn't give the whole episode much thought. Another prisoner more or less in the camp was of little concern to him. He was too busy trying to ensure his own survival to worry about that of any other prisoner. Of course, when it happened Jack had no idea that the prisoner at the heart of the discussion was Audrey.
The sudden realization that Audrey had been held at the same prison camp, likely within a few hundred feet of him at all times, was possibly more painful than any beating he had endured in China. Had he known he would have moved heaven and earth to rescue her. His own safety be damned. He would have killed Cheng and anyone else in his way in a second if it meant that Audrey would have been safe. Jack didn't think that it was possible for him to hate Cheng more than he did while he was held captive in China, but at that moment he could barely keep his rage in check and he wished to God that he had killed Cheng on the oil platform instead of taking him into custody. He wished that he had time to slowly torture the bastard for what he had done to Audrey.
Just as suddenly as his mind had moved from Los Angeles to China, it swung back. Jack realized that Audrey was still talking but he hadn't heard her. She was in his arms; her face pressed against his shoulder. He took comfort in the closeness and he pressed his lips to her temple. She responded by turning her face up to his. They stared into one another's eyes for moment before allowing their lips to meet. It was a long, slow, tender kiss.
Audrey pulled back slightly and Jack kissed her forehead. "Thank you for listening," she said quietly. "Thank you for being here."
"There's no place else in the world I want to be than with you. I love you, Audrey." They kissed again.
"Audrey," Jim called from just outside of the bedroom door. "The housekeeper said lunch will be…," he stopped as he entered the room and found the couple in a tight embrace. "I'm…I'm sorry," he stammered awkwardly. "I didn't realize…"
"It's okay, Jim," Jack said taking a step away from Audrey. "Audrey was just going to take a shower."
She nodded quickly, but Jack saw the anxiety in her eyes. "You'll be fine, sweetheart," he reassured her. "I'll find something for you to wear and leave it on the bed. Then you can come out onto the patio and eat lunch." He chose his words carefully in order not to give Audrey too many options that might confuse or frighten her. Over time, as she got used to her freedom, he would begin to offer her more choices.
"Okay," she responded passively, still like a prisoner.
Audrey reluctantly made her way into the shower and Jack found the closet in the next room where Jim had stored all of her clothes. He hadn't had the heart to get rid of them after he was told that Audrey was dead. Jack picked out a pair of jeans, a white camisole and a cotton pull-over sweater along with a pair of low-heeled sandals and left them on the bed.
With that complete, he took a second to check on Jacqueline, who was still sleeping, and headed to the patio. The small wrought iron bistro table was set with iced tea for three. One of the places was set with a plate and flatware just waiting for the Audrey to arrive and the housekeeper to bring her lunch. Jim was staring out at the ocean as he had done early that same morning.
"Jacqueline's still sleeping and Audrey will be out in a few minutes," Jack said as he approached Heller.
"Good," Jim said impassively and without turning around to acknowledge Jack's presence.
Jack noted the coolness in his tone and wasn't sure how to interpret it. He decided to continue. "I think she's going to be fine. It's going to take some time, Jim, but with counseling I think it's reasonable to believe that she'll eventually make a full recovery."
"Thank God," Jim said, this time with some feeling, but he still didn't turn to face Jack.
"Jim, is something wrong? I thought you'd be happier than you are."
"Don't you think you're moving a little fast, Jack? I saw you kissing Audrey. If I hadn't walked into that bedroom when I did, you'd have taken off her clothes and gotten into the shower with her. She's vulnerable, Jack. How dare you take advantage of her!"
Jack shook his head angrily at Jim's accusations. "I was not taking advantage of her! Yes, I kissed her, twice in fact. I love her, Jim. And I'd like to think that the fact that she initiated the first of those kisses means that she loves me, too, but I'm also not so naïve as to believe that in her current state of mind that she can make a decision that important. I would have never let that kiss go any further. I will not allow a physical relationship until I know that Audrey is capable of making that decision and that it's what she wants. To have a physical relationship with Audrey right now is nothing short of rape and I'm very clear on that fact, Jim." Jack stopped for a moment and his tone softened. "I don't want to hurt her any more than you want to see her get hurt. I have Audrey's best interest in mind just like you do. I give you my word that we won't enter into any kind of physical relationship until Audrey is absolutely ready. If you like, I can move out of the house. I'm sure that I can move in with Kim until I'm back on my feet. The only thing that I ask is that I be able to see Audrey and Jacqueline regularly."
Jim looked down and shook his head. "No, that won't be necessary. I want you to stay here. I know Jacqueline wants you to stay and there have been too many upheavals in her life recently. If you left, it would just confuse and upset her. And I know Audrey wants you to stay. I could tell by the way she looked at you. And the truth is," Jim sighed, "that I need you to stay. You have a much better understanding of what Audrey has been through and how to handle her than I do. I wouldn't have had any idea of what she was feeling or how to talk to her. Once she was awake and coherent, I would have just assumed that I could treat her like I always had and that she would have responded in much the same way." He shook his head and walked toward the edge of the patio. "I don't know the Audrey that's in that bedroom," he said gesturing toward the bedroom window. "She's a stranger to me. All of the grace and self-confidence that she had are gone."
"They'll come back, Jim. I told you that it will take time, but the Audrey you knew is still inside of that body. We just have to give it time to re-emerge."
"You're sure of that?"
Jack nodded. "Not absolutely positive, but very sure. Unfortunately, in my line of work, I've seen a lot of former prisoners, people who were held captive, just like Audrey, who lost their sense of self and did whatever it took to survive. Almost every one of them has been able to rebuild their lives. With our help, I know Audrey can do it, too, but we have to be there for her."
It was only a few more minutes before Audrey walked tentatively out onto the patio.
"Sweetheart," Jim said with a smile. "You look beautiful. Come, sit down."
Audrey smiled at her father. It was a subdued smile, but it was the biggest one that she had produced so far which pleased both Jim and Jack. Jack took a step toward the house. "I'll go in and get your lunch," he told her. He wanted to give Jim and Audrey some much needed time together.
Audrey walked to the edge of the patio and looked out at the ocean.
"I missed this view so much. It's so beautiful. Every day I wondered if you and Jacqueline were safe and if she was playing on the beach."
"I took her down to the beach every day that was nice. I felt closest to you there. In her own way, I think Jacqueline did, too."
They both took in the view for a long moment before Audrey again broke the silence. "Dad, I'm so sorry for what I put you through. I never meant to hurt you or Jacqueline."
"I know you didn't, sweetheart," Jim told her as he put his arms around her and hugged her gently. "I never blamed you, Audrey. I only ever blamed myself."
"Why would you have blamed yourself? You told me not to go to China. I did it anyway and I got kidnapped. It wasn't your fault," Audrey said.
"I blame myself because I should have been the one in China. They never would have gone after the Secretary of Defense. They couldn't have done it without setting off an international incident. I should have been the one in China exerting pressure on their officials. I should have been the one trying to rescue Jack. It wasn't a popular cause in Washington since it would have required that we admit ordering an illegal raid on the Chinese embassy, but I should have ignored the president and the cabinet members who were telling me to 'exercise caution'. What did I have to lose? I was nearing the end of my career. So what if the president forced me to resign? I would have resigned knowing that I'd done the right thing and you never would have had to risk your life. I'm sorry, Audrey. I was wrong."
Jack came back onto the patio with dishes in both hands. He had overheard much of the conversation and found his emotions mixed. He was both vindicated and angered by Jim's admission that he had done what was politically expedient, not what was right. Jim's arrogance and concern with his own career and legacy had nearly cost Audrey her life.
Jack quietly cleared his throat so that Jim and Audrey knew that he was back. "Here you go," he said as he set a plate of fresh fruit and a small bowl of yogurt on the table." He pulled out Audrey's chair for her.
She approached the table and stared at the plate. She, like Jack, hadn't seen fresh fruit in months. Her eyes welled with tears and Jack knew that she was remembering the daily ration of mushy rice that was pushed through a wide slot at the bottom of the cell door three times a day. Once a day it was served hot with some meat and vegetables in it, but the other two portions were cold and bland. Jack had been resourceful enough on a couple of occasions to steal food from the guards but he was sure that Audrey wouldn't have been able to do so. "You're home, Audrey," he reminded her. "It's over."
She blinked the tears from her eyes and smiled again. "It's just starting to sink in," she said as she sat down. "I'm really home."
Jack and Jim sat in the chairs on either side of her drinking iced tea and watching with pure relish as Audrey took dainty bites of the fresh melons and berries. She was savoring every bit of it.
Jack closed his eyes for a moment trying to take it all in. The day couldn't have been more perfect. The sky was blue and the air was cool, but the sun beat warmly on his face. Audrey sat next to him as if back from the dead. It would be a while before she fully returned to the world of the living, but he was sitting there, a witness to her rebirth. His beautiful little daughter was asleep in her bedroom and Kim was finally part of his life once again. He couldn't help but smile.
A quiet, and now familiar, noise broke his reverie. Through Jacqueline's open bedroom window, they could hear her tiny voice. Audrey's eyes again glazed with tears and Jack reached over to take her hand.
"Our daughter," she whispered.
Jacqueline had always been, as Audrey described it, slow to wake up. As she woke from a nap or a night's sleep, she would lay in bed for a long time and talk or sing to her stuffed animals. They could hear her doing just that. She was singing a little Spanish song about ducklings that the housekeeper had taught her.
Jim stood. "You two wait here. I'll go get her," he offered. "Give me a couple of minutes. I'll explain to her that you're awake so she knows what to expect."
"I wish I knew what to expect," Audrey said anxiously.
"I don't know what to tell you, sweetheart," Jim replied with a shake of his head.
Jack squeezed her hand a little harder. "Audrey, don't be upset if she doesn't want to come right to you. This is new territory to her and I think she'll be a little anxious. She'll warm up to you soon. I know she will."
Audrey tried hard to look confident as her father left the patio and headed for Jacqueline's room. Jack, too, was nervous. He hoped that Jacqueline, who could be shy at times that it suited her, wouldn't reject Audrey outright. If she did, he feared that it would be a huge setback for Audrey, who was already making what he considered to be huge strides.
"I'm scared, Jack," Audrey whispered. "What if she hates me?"
"I don't think she'll hate you, Audrey, but whatever happens, we'll deal with it together." Jack leaned in close and kissed her reassuringly on the cheek. "Whatever happens, I love you and I'll be here for you."
I should just have one more chapter to go. Thanks for reading. I'd love it if you'd take a second and review. (As I've said before, I have no life and I live for reviews. Doesn't someone that pathetic deserve a review!)
