hee hee. there are many questions in this fic, no? I guess Mimi is just a curious little girlie, huh...
"Ok, first things first," said Angel, sitting Mimi down on the bed and kneeling behind her. "Your hair is coming out from underneath the hat back here. I'm going to braid it so it stays, okay? Then I get to teach you to be a guy."
"Sure," Mimi said, taking off the cap and letting her long brown hair cascade down her back. Angel separated the hair into three thick strands and expertly began to braid it.
"Angel?" said Mimi tentatively. Angel nudged her with her elbow as a sign to go on. Mimi sighed.
"This might be a weird question…but what is it like to be gay?" Angel paused and frowned at the back of Mimi's head.
"Full of questions today, aren't we? And Mimi, if I answer this one, let's not experiment with it, okay?" Mimi snorted and shrugged.
"Duh. But I dunno, I just…I'm sort of wondering. After all, Maureen went from being straight to being a lesbian. Why? Other than Mark, of course." Angel pulled the strands to tighten the braid, then started working again.
"I can't answer for her. But Mimi, it's not any different from being straight, when you get right down to it. It's…shit."
"It's shit?" Mimi asked confusedly. Angel rolled her eyes.
"No, I said shit because I fucked this up. I need to start over a little." Angel pulled apart the overlapping strands and began to do them again. Mimi snorted.
"Nice. Go on." Angel sighed.
"It's just who you think is sexy and who you don't, basically. And also who you think you can like or love that way, you know? I mean, chica, you're my best friend and I love you to bits, but most definitely not that way, right?" Mimi nodded. "And I do love Collins that way."
"But if he wasn't a guy, would you be able to love him that way?" Angel rolled her eyes and looked around for a rubber band.
"Mimi, we're getting into things that I really just can't explain. It's not an explainable kind of thing. Ah, here we go," she said, snagging a rubber band from the bedpost and snapping it around the end of the braid. She expertly coiled up the thick rope of hair and laid it flat against Mimi's head, sliding the cap over it before any hair could escape. Mimi bounced off the bed and stood facing Angel, feet apart and hands on her hips.
"Are we ready?"
"Yep," Angel said, getting up and circling her friend. "Hmmm…first of all, you really can't stand up so straight, hon." Mimi frowned.
"You guys always tell me I slouch."
"You do, but not enough to be a guy. Here." Angel put one hand on Mimi's stomach and the other on her upper back, pushing them in opposite directions. Mimi's torso folded forward until she was slumped into a perfect disaffected, male slouch. Angel stood back and nodded satisfactorily.
"Good! Now let's see…walk a few steps." Mimi did so, keeping her slouch immaculate. Angel shook her head.
"Uh-uh. You walk like you're wearing heels. Not gonna work." Mimi gestured at her feet.
"Teach, master." Angel giggled and demonstrated the proper walk, her stride thick and her feet slightly clomping. Mimi laughed so hard when she saw it that she rolled backwards onto the bed. Angel threw a sock at her.
"Stop laughing, you idiot!" she said, laughing herself. Mimi gasped for breath.
"Oh Jesus…Angel, never do that again or I'm going to break a rib…" Angel poked her hand in the stomach. Mimi shrieked and sat up. Angel smirked.
"Now let's see you do it." Mimi tried, but she was still mincing too much. It was a little while before she could do the natural stomp that most men used. Angel looked proud.
"Ok, chica. Now we go to the next level."
Movie montage. "Dude Looks Like A Lady" song blasting the background while scenes of Angel teaching Mimi different stuff flash on and off. How to eat, how to talk, how to scowl. And most importantly, what to say. Movie montages are fun! Dum de dum…okiedoke, back to the fic!
"Mimi, I think you're ready," said Angel, stepping back and surveying her work. Mimi was perfect: the slouch, the scowl, and the dangling arms. It made Angel very happy.
"Okay, now. Say hi to me." Mimi raised one hand lazily.
"How's it going?" she said in a low, husky voice. Angel bit her lip very hard to keep from laughing.
"Now tell me your name." Mimi stood up straight and crossed her arms.
"Angel, why the hell did you choose that name? It's just plain stupid," she protested in her normal voice. Angel sighed.
"Because it's the kind of name a guy like you would have, okay? My name is Angel; do you think any straight guy would be happy to have this name?"
"Well—oh, just forget it. Fine." Mimi slumped back down, coughed, and said in her husky voice, "Hey man, I'm Ray—Raymundo." Angel couldn't help it. She burst out laughing and sank back against the wall, doubling up in hysterics. Mimi shot her a killer glare and stuck her hand on her hip.
"See? You can't even be serious about it. I'm not using that name." Angel gasped, managed to stop laughing, and grabbed her arm.
"Oh yes you are. Now come on. I think you're ready, and we have to meet the others in the Life at 6."
this nect chapter is going to be amusing.
