A/N: People actually read my story. HAHAHA! I am so amazed. My goal is to make everyone happier after every read. So when you smile I'll fist pump. If you giggle I'll jump for joy. If you laugh I'll scream to the heavens: BOOOYAH! But if you fall off your chair due to uncontrollable bouts of laughter… *points at the Clown Prince of Crime, Joker* IT'S HIS FAULT! I'm innocent! Innocent I tells 'yah! *ehem* Heck! Even if you were just teetering I'll update instantly. *checks the reviews* Crud! Joker! I thought I told you to shoot them with laughing gas after a week. A week, man. Now I HAVE to update…
Joker: Arzir does not own any of the characters in this story. That's why it's called fanfiction, kiddies. And he certainly does not own me… I OWN him… *hysterical laughter*
The Internet
Merrill was nervous. She was always nervous but today she has all the reason to be. This was her first time aboard the SSV Normandy SR-2. She walks through the bright hallway, her feet uncomfortably cold from the metal floor. Her hands holding her ball of twine, fiddling with it to ease her tension. The huge armored lizard she met a few moments ago told her that leaving a trail of string is silly and someone could trip on them.
"Elga'non! What was his name again?"
"Gurt?"
"Unt?"
"Grunt? Yes. I think it was Grunt," Merrill pondered over the name of the krogan she just met. The elf was in such a deep concentration that by the time she stopped to survey her surrounding she was utterly confused. The long corridors seem all the same to the Dalish. It was three in the morning, although Merrill could not be certain since there were two suns when she looked outside her window before going out.
"By the dread wolf! This is impossible," Merrill was now feeling very frustrated by her lacking sense of direction. "Isabela's ship was never this confusing. Why do they even call this a ship? It doesn't even travel on water. And there's no sail. Where's the crow's nest?"
Merrill was now rambling as she tries to find her way back to her cabin; her initial goal was now long forgotten.
Tali'Zora vas Normandy, quarian ambassador, admiral of the migrant fleet and resident tech genius, was greeted by a most curious site. The young elven girl that boarded their ship when it was docked at the citadel was now wandering aimlessly.
"She must be lost," thought the quarian, "This ship could really overwhelm you if you're not used to it."
"Excuse me, Merrill," Tali tried to get the elf's attention without startling her.
"Oh! Uhm… It's Admiral Tali'Zora vas Normandy, right?" Merrill remembered this person. She was wearing the most beautiful armor the elf has ever seen. The tight fitting suit really accented her curves. And even though the helmet she wore covers her face Merrill was willing to bet that this lady was beautiful underneath her mask.
"Please, call me Tali," the quarian gestures for Merrill to take a seat on one of the chairs inside the mess hall. "Admiral is just too formal for my taste."
Merrill sat beside the quarian and smiles, "Thank you, Tali. This ship is just so huge."
Tali nods in approval, "Let me guess, you got lost didn't you?"
Merrill's face flushed a bight shade of pink and fidgets with her ball of twine. She didn't dare look at Tali who was trying to contain her laughter. It wasn't a mocking laugh but an amused one. She heard the same type of laughter from Varic and Isabela whenever she does something silly.
"Don't worry, Merrill," Tali pats the young elf's back in a reassuring manner and admits, "Truth be told, I also got lost in the old Normandy; and that ship was a lot smaller compared to this one."
"Really?" Merrill looks up with a smile on her face.
"Ships this big usually overwhelms first-timers like you," explains Tali.
"Why do they call it 'ships'," asked Merrill, "They do not travel on water. They take to the air so they're more like planes, right?"
Tali was now facing Merrill and although it can't be clearly seen, the quarian's eyes were wide with amused surprise, "You know, I never thought of that." She then laughs heartily at how cute and innocent her new friend is.
The quarian's laughter was infectious and Merrill found herself laughing for no apparent reason save for joining her friend. "What's so funny?" she asked between the fits of laughter.
"Nothing, Merrill," replied Tali, "I'm just suddenly filled with joy."
Tali then took an omni-pad, a thin, rectangular piece of synthetic fibers with an orange screen and silver edges, from the table behind them and gave it to Merrill, "You can use this so you don't get lost."
"But I do not know how this magic mirror works," Merril looks at the device with curiosity all over her face.
"It's easy," Tali then holds Merrill's hand and guides it to the different images on the screen, "I'll teach you."
The quarian and the elf were both busy with the omni-pad; one was learning while the other was teaching. This was the sight that greeted Zevran as he enters the mess hall. Nothing like two beautiful ladies to brighten the morning of this Antivan Crow (EX-CROW), but Zevran knows that if he wishes to keep his life, he would treat these fine women with respect and honor; least he wants the wrath of both the Champion and the SPECTRE. Although this does not mean who couldn't have fun with them.
"The maker must have blessed me today to be greeted by two of the galaxy's loveliest ladies," Zevran announced as he approach their table. "Do tell this handsomely looking elf what you two are up to."
"Tali is teaching me how to use this magic mirror," answered Merrill.
"Oh? Does this magic mirror have access to the internet?" inquired Zevran, taking a seat beside Merrill.
"First of all, it's called an omni-pad," replied Tali while guiding Merrill's hand towards the icon for the internet browser, "and yes, it has access to the net."
"Net? Do you use this for fishing as well?" asked a very confused Merrill.
"No, Merrill. Internet," explain Tali, "It's a global system of interconnected computer networks that use the standard internet protocol suite to link several billion devices worldwide."
The two elves just stared at the quarian with blank looks on both their faces.
Zevran was first to recover and asks, "So how does it work?"
"That's easy," Tali points at the long rectangular space on top of the screen and says, "Just type in the site you want to visit on this box here and touch the 'ENTER' icon."
Zevran nods and whispers something to Merrill that Tali didn't hear. "Okay! Let's try that then," said Merrill excitedly. She then proceeds in typing the site that Zevran told her to visit.
The trio was focused on the screen while Merrill was slowly entering each letter. They were all excited to see Meril's first attempt on using the internet. At that very moment when Merrill was just about to touch 'ENTER' Isabela, pirate captain of the S.S. Coco, appeared behind the trio in a puff of smoke. She was sitting on the table, leaning in to have a look on what these three were up to and saw the omni-pad that Merrill was holding.
"By the storm of the Waking Seas! What are you teaching Kitten here?!" Isabela shouted, directing the question to both Merrill's companion.
The two were still too confused by the sudden appearance of the pirate captain to reply but Merril, who was already used to Isabela's sudden intrusions, stared at the omni-pad with confusion plastered on her face albeit for a different reason.
"Isabela, the people in this magic mirror clearly do not know what they are doing," stated the Dalish Pariah, "the guy here is definitely using the wrong hole!"
A/N: Just to make this clear: Merrill is NOT, I repeat, she is NOT an idiot. She isn't stupid. She is just naïve. This is her first time in Mass Effect Universe and all the future gizmos are new to her. I don't believe Theadas has any light bulbs yet. And the only electricity Merrill knows are those that comes out from her fingertips. And-rambling again. I hope you had fun reading this. See yah next time!
And I put in an Easter egg in this chapter, a reference to another game. Have fun finding it!
