Torturing Fun with Itachi
By Ryu the Fullmetal Ninja
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto . . . yet Mwahahahahaha!
Today's idea for torture comes from windmaster324.
"Welcome back to Torturing Fun with Itachi. I'm your host Itachi." The spotlight shines on Itachi."And today we have a special guest torturer, give a warm round of applause for the prankster king of Konoha, Naruto Uzumaki!" The crowd cheers as Naruto walks on the stage wearing an orange tux."Thank you Itachi. It is a pleasure to be here today."He says with his fox grin.
"Now today's contestant is Naruto's very own teacher, The Toad Sannin himself, or as Naruto-kun calls him Ero-sannin, give a warm torturing welcome for Jiraiya!" The female portion of the audience cheers as the spotlight shines on Jiraiya in a straitjacket tied to the Torture ChairTM. "Grrrrrrrr, NARUTO! Get me out of here right now."
"I don't think so Ero-Sannin. This is revenge for not training me and being a super pervert." Naruto said grinning triumphantly."Just goes to show you folks."Itachi said." Always train your students and don't sneak away to peep on women at the hot springs.""Now shall we get started then Naruto-kun?""Of course Itachi-san."
"Any ideas?" "Yea how about this." He then whispers something in Itachi's ear."Good idea Naruto-kun. Now let's get started then, shall we?" "Tsukiyomi."
"For 72 hours you shall live your worst nightmare." Itachi said.
Jiraiya is tied to the cross and sees himself in a tux at the altar next to a person in a wedding dress, but he can't see who the person because their wearing a veil over their face. He looks around and sees all his friends there as well as the Yondaime Hokage Minato Namikaze and His wife Uzumaki Kushina."Dearly beloved we are gathered here to see the union of these two souls in glorious matrimony." He looks ahead and sees the Sandaime standing their behind the altar as the preacher." Are their any who object to this union? speak now or forever hold your peace.""No. Very Well. I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride." He looks at his bride and lifts the veil to reveal . . . OROCHIMARU!" Oh Jiraiya-kun, aren't you going to kiss me?"Orochimaru said, fluttering his eyelashes.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Jiraiya screams. 'no this can't be real' His thoughts race as he tries to think why this is happening." Come on you big manly toad you. I want to get on to our honeymoon, and of course the honeymoon night." Orochimaru giggles. He then leans in to kiss Jiraiya who is frozen in terror, when it all fades and Jiraiya is back tied to the
Tsukiyomi cross. Jiraiya breathes a sigh of relief until he hears"71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds to go.
Then he is back at the altar'Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo'
71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds later
Jiraiya starts to stir thinking 'what a horrible dream' then he feels a sharp pain in his butt."NOOOOOOO! OROCHIMARU THAT DOESN'T GO THERE!" He screams in pure terror. He then gets up and miraculously breaks free of his straitjacket and runs out the door."Hehehe. Good one Naruto-kun. Has anyone told you may have a bright future in torture?" Itachi asks chuckling."No Itachi-san but I will give that some serious consideration." "Brilliant idea with the stick Naruto-kun." "Thanks for having me today. I will now take my leave." Come back anytime Naruto-kun." And Naruto leaves holding the stick he put up Jiraiya's butt.
"Hey boss?" Ryu asked."Yes?""You know what we need to make this show better? A theme song." There is a silence. "Ryu?""Yea boss?" "Tsukiyomi.""You will now have to listen to polka for 72 hours." Ryu is now in a fetal position on the floor.
"Well WM, do you think we need a theme song as well?" Itachi asked his cameraman threateningly. "No boss I think a theme song is a stupid idea."Good. Well that's all for today check back next time for more Torturing fun with Itachi."The curtain closes on the quiet cries of Ryu."No more polka, no more polka."
Well that's the third chapter in two days. Thank you for reading and please review. Need suggestions please. This is Ryu signing out.
