Chapter 3 – Tribunal

This one is based on the chapter "Completed".

In the small tribunal, we were all sitting on the stone floor, right on the edges of the circle created by the light, with Wanda seated facing us. Even her very posture indicated that she felt she had to defend herself and I really wanted her to think she was guilty of a crime. A crime against herself, against me.

But I knew that that wasn't true. She was aware she had to defend her decision, but she didn't see that what she was doing was wrong. She was looking at it like a mother who knows what's best for her children, even if they don't like going to the dentist or eating their vegetables. Except that in this case it wasn't something as simple as a trip to the dentist, and she was wrong about what she thought was best for us.

As with all humans, Wanda's biggest quality was also her main flaw: her extreme altruism turned her into the most stubborn of creatures when she denied her own needs. But that was what I was here for. To remind her that she had one more necessity to consider: mine.

I had called just a few people together for the tribunal, I didn't want to make our pain a show for those who had nothing to do with this decision. Jared was here, due to his interest in Mel's release. Doc, who would perform the procedure if I didn't break his hand before he got there. And Jeb, because, as he would say, "this is my house." I had the feeling that Jamie would be a strong ally for my cause, but I didn't play dirty. I couldn't use the kid to manipulate her feelings as Jared had done. Besides, she would never forgive me, she wouldn't even agree to be here if she had to face Jamie too.

As Wanda had to be Wanda, she wanted news about Sunny and the Healer before we could start. She was surprised and saddened to learn that Sunny had already left. "Wait for me, little sister!" She must have thought. Not in a million years will I allow that, you stubborn little soul!

When it finally started, Jeb "presiding" over everything and asking for our claims, we were brief:

"I'm giving Melanie back," she said firmly, as if there could be no logical argument against her departure.

"We need Wanda here," I countered.

You didn't count on that, huh, you hard-headed soul! There is no argument more logical than the greater good!

When Jeb nodded, seriously considering my view, I continued:

"We have to look at the greater good, Jeb. Wanda's already brought us more health and security than we've ever had. She's vital to the survival of our community… of the entire human race. One person can't stand in the way of that."

Wanda argued with lies, saying that Mel wanted her body back. I knew almost nothing about Mel, but I was pretty sure she wouldn't want to lose Wanda. In addition, Mel could share her knowledge, as Wanda pointed out, but she was not a Soul. It would be the end of raids in which we could actually get things that gave us more comfort and safety. Yes, we had survived without these things before, but it was just that: survival. Because of Wanda, now we lived. Because of her, now I lived.

Jared protested vehemently, claiming that Melanie was entitled to have her body back. I knew that, and I understood their situation, but he was talking about murder, without thinking that Wanda was also a victim. As always, I was the only one who saw these things.

"And what is it that you're doing to Wanda, Jared? And the rest of us, if you take her away?"

Take her away from us that meant we could no longer have medicines and healthier food, that we couldn't wear clean clothes instead of rags and we couldn't be free from disease. All this, things that could never be underestimated, would end without Wanda. But that was not my main reason. The whole point was that I would end without her. And Jared knew this well:

"You don't care about the rest of anybody! You just want to keep Wanda at Melanie's expense… nothing else matters to you."

"And you want to have Melanie at Wanda's expense… nothing else matters to you! So, with those things being equal, it comes down to what's best for everyone else."

Ha, now chew on that stone, Howe!

"No! It comes down to what Melanie wants! That's her body!"

It's Wanda's body too, you jerk!

We were both heated, each of us defending the woman we loved. There was no cause more passionate than that and our bodies reacted accordingly, placing themselves in postures ready for confrontation. Jeb had to calm us down, his fingers scratching the trigger. Sometimes I wondered what kind of man Jeb was before all this. He fits so well here, so sure of his reign, that it was almost impossible to see him in the normal world, in the world before. After thinking for a second, he said:

"Okay, here's how I see it. Wanda's right..."

I couldn't even let him finish. My body jumped as if propelled by a spring, ready to leave carrying Wanda forcibly away. I had no idea of where I would hide us, but I didn't have time to think about anything. Upon seeing my reaction he continued:

"Hold it! Sit yourself back down. Let me finish." Hesitant, I obeyed. "Wanda is right. Mel needs her body back. But..." Well, I had gotten this far, genius! "But I don't agree with the rest, Wanda. I think we need you pretty bad, kid. We got Seekers out there lookin' for us, and you can talk right to 'em. The rest of us can't do that. You save lives. I got to think about the welfare of my household.

Uh, finally logical thinking on someone's part!

"So we get her another body. Obviously" Jared said to everyone's surprise.

Obviously. Once I heard that the obvious is always that idea that wasn't there a moment ago. It was really an interesting idea. I had to admit that when Jared put that big head of his to work, he could be pretty smart. But nothing was ever easy these days: Wanda protested. She said she didn't want to be a parasite, didn't want to have to relive it all again. How I hated that word now! I trembled with rage when someone used it against her, even Wanda herself.

To occupy the body of a human, according to Wanda, was much more difficult, other hosts didn't have so much individuality, their emotions were softer and blah, blah, blah ... about why she didn't want to "steal" the body of another human. If she asked me, there are a lot of people, right there inside the caves, who deserved to be suppressed. But of course she didn't see it the same way.

Nobody was taking these arguments of hers very seriously, until she said that being in another body could make her come back differently. This got their attention. Perhaps, it would drag her to other loves, like Melanie had dragged her back to Jared and Jamie. Maybe we wouldn't be able to trust her anymore and she would bring the Seekers to us.

I didn't really believe in any of those things. I just couldn't believe that kiss, everything she'd told me a few moments ago, was instilled in me alone. Impossible to believe that even in the body of a Seeker she would do something that put Jamie at risk. What about Jared? Even without the appeal he has in Melanie's eyes, Wanda also loves him in a way none of us really understand. And what about Jeb, the first person who offered her a helping hand? And Lily, Trudy, Geoffrey and all the friends she'd made here? She nearly died to save Kyle's life, right after he'd tried to kill her, how could she harm all of us, those who loved her?

I was sure that all these loves had marked Wanderer's Soul with fire, but I also had to admit that we needed to consider more carefully the extent of influence that a new body could have. We had a new hope, but time was needed to assess the situation properly. And, if finally we decided it was too risky to change, nothing would change. I wouldn't allow it.

"It's okay, honey. You don't have to be anyone else. Nothing's going to change" I said as I hugged her to contain her tears.

But the seed was cast. Different things were taking root in the minds of each of us, and we were all able to realize the need for time to reorganize our ideas and arguments. Furthermore, Wanda was hungry. She could be using this as an excuse to escape the discussion, but I knew it was true. She hadn't eaten for a long time and I wasn't able to think of anything else once I realized she needed something, such was my fear that she neglected herself to the point that she might put herself in jeopardy.

We ended the tribunal. We could start over the next day, when our heads were in the right place.